Do you believe that there are truly some people are unattractive and cannot become attractive?

seduction-ModTeam · 2024-09-17T18:37:31+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

Such_Orchid_7759 · 2024-09-17T05:33:27+00:00

There are people who will be physically unappealing and there’s nothing that they can do to completely change it.

Almost no one focuses on that stuff here because it’s kinda pointless to discuss. Inherently, it’s a discussion that centers on “I can’t change or do anything”. It’s kinda like wishing you could change the moon and stars. For most people, it’s not really a productive conversation and that’s why you’re not going to see it talked about here.

It is the reality for many people reading in this sub. You will be too unattractive to ever attract anyone but the majority of people reading aren’t likely in that pool. So… it’s not very relevant and it just makes a lot of people who do have pretty privilege and so forth feel really bad about themselves. So, it’s not gonna get discussed here at all.

Best of luck.

SplashGodNate · 2024-09-17T03:07:05+00:00

Even those with severe mental and disabilities have partners, I feel like there’s at least one human being that will find you attractive in this world. Now the case of becoming somewhat attractive to the public eye is a bit different. Some can do it, some can’t.

aFalseSlimShady · 2024-09-17T03:24:37+00:00

Someone uglier than you is having more success than you. Stop being a whiny bitch about it.

Ok-Entertainer-1401 · 2024-09-17T07:03:36+00:00

Yes, unfortunately.

Turbulent_Cry3134 · 2024-09-17T07:46:09+00:00

Yeah, for sure.

bsmithril · 2024-09-17T04:13:10+00:00

Some people give up before even starting all while attempting to convince themselves that whatever they do won't be good enough anyway. Try to decipher what is really going on with your thought process and consider if you are looking for truth or excuses.

It sounds to me like you don't want to even try but you want someone to take away the guilt of your inaction by telling you it's a waste of time. Stop saying you can't because that's bullshit. Start saying you can and just accept that you can do hard things. Come back when you've put in some effort.

NoVermicelli1303 · 2024-09-17T13:41:18+00:00

Just reading your post and your numerous comments, I feel tired. I don’t know how you look like, but being around a person so negative like you is draining. You seriously need to fix your personality and your self esteem issues

Additional-Soil-3661 · 2024-09-17T03:35:02+00:00

attraction isn't just looks mate. sure visuals is something, but if your "ugly" as you say. you can also smell good as fuck, you can have a voice that sounds sexy and do accents if you train, you can be funny and laugh her to bed. many things turn women on. start believing in yourself.

quemadatortilla · 2024-09-17T05:41:36+00:00

I've read through these comments, and from what I gather, you have major self-esteem issues.

For whatever reason, you have gone through something(s) that made you feel that you're not good enough and I get it. I've gone through similar feelings. Most people have. It's hard. It feels debilitating, but you can get through this. Don't worry about getting with someone, first worry about yourself. I heard this somewhere and it stuck with me, "How can you expect someone to love you when you can't even love yourself." Just as equally, how can you expect someone to be attracted to you when you can't even see yourself as desirable.

It's all starts with change from within. So here's some advice from a stranger on the internet. 1. Step away from trying to attract someone because from what it sounds like, your vibe is completely off. Women are sexualized from an early age. They know when someone is only looking at them for sex or is attracted to them. Image them as your sister or just friends. 2. Stop putting all this pressure on yourself. Learn to love yourself. Find some hobbies that you actually like doing. Key word ACTUALLY. Bonus points if they're good for you and add to your goals like running, biking, or even skating for fun and exercise. 3. Start looking from within. This will help build your sense of identity. Keep a catalog of what you like, what do you do, who do you want to become, what have you overcome. And keep updating it as time goes by. I promise you, you will read back at this and see the power and strength you have within. Bonus points if it's a physical journal. 4. This is the most important one. Acutally commit to change. If you want to cry about something. Go ahead, but don't expect people to feel bad for you if you don't change anything. It's okay if you stumble and fall. Everyone does. No one ever gets it right the first time, but you have to keep trying.

Example, you seem like you want to lose weight. For whatever issues, its hard. Take a moment, sit down, breath, and write out a plan for yourself. Do some research on macros, portion sized, calorie deficits, and so on. Commit to that. You don't even have to exercise if you dont want to. Have patience with yourself, you don't have to start eating differently then and there, but if you can change how you eat for one day a week, slowly start doing two days a week, and take your time, ease into it. Don't put pressure on yourself, it'll take time, a lot of time, but trust the process, trust your plan.

When you start feeling better about yourself, this is going to be way down the road. The best case scenario is a year, probably two. Then, you can start learning how to flirt. Spice up the way you talk. The difference this time is you'll be a lot more confident and self-assured. Women love a man who isn't desperate and has a stronger sense of identity.

If I can leave you with one thing, look into the book Feeling Good, by Dr. David D. Burns and/or the podcast Feeling Good with Dr. David Burns.

sikethatsmybird · 2024-09-17T08:07:33+00:00

Yes some people are just ugly and that’s okay.

ratfooshi · 2024-09-17T07:33:03+00:00

No.

Attraction ≠ physical beauty.

Look at Jay Z.

Duke de Lauzun was a hideous midget who had the baddest bitch in the land because he was smooth. A coquette.

Seduction is a human game. As long as you're human, you can play and master it.

Attraction means to attract.

MitchArku · 2024-09-17T04:30:24+00:00

There is a podcast of a daygame pickup coach I follow. He actually gets into something similar on one episode. He mentions some cases of people who cannot seem to get over approach anxiety. I believe that these people suffered from childhood trauma.

Another angle is this: You are right about the attractiveness part, but it mostly has to do with your skill set. When learning any skill, some people get seemingly stuck for very long stretches of time but in reality they are making progress. Just very slowly.

There are also other layers, like logistics. Are you working in settings that are in your favor?

No-Preference8767 · 2024-09-17T18:17:10+00:00

There are truecels but the incel movement is/ was a cancer. It turned what was supposed to be a support movement into a victimhood suicide cult that made helping people that actually have no access to sex almost impossible

but am unable to find anyone, or even have the courage to approach, despite wanting to.

Bro your the issue I was talking about . You don't even approach and your complaining about being attractive. You just want somebody to make you feel good about being lazy. Your not a victim . You are actively sabotaging yourself. I can empathize if you have a genuine incel complex but I have to be honest and say it's all in your head. Even dudes who are scared to talk to women commit to working out and dressing nice so you have no excuse

HomelessMilkman · 2024-09-17T07:49:49+00:00

No. However, knowledge can only get you so far in building self-esteem, which is the catalyst for attraction.

You can do a million things to overcompensate, but until you believe you're good enough for someone, you're running around in circles.

You have to fundamentally change, not put a mask on and expect results.

IamRocksteady · 2024-09-17T13:35:36+00:00

No one can help a person, who doesn't want to help himself.

Blintszky · 2024-09-17T14:28:36+00:00

Honestly? No. I've seen the rattiest looking man have a gorgeous girl on his arm. I really don't think people understand that confidence, personality, humour etc is 99% of game. Looks get a girls attention, personality gets their affection.

In university the guy pulling a different girl every other night was a chubby 5ft6 guy, yet every girl was basically 7.5/10 and above.

MrAnonPoster · 2024-09-17T15:07:35+00:00

This would be more productive if you described yourself/posted a photo. There's a massive difference between what a slobbish dude can achieve vs a quadriplegic

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-09-17T05:10:27+00:00

I hate to break it to you but there are seriously handsome guys who some women think are ugly. Women have their types and some ugly men are their types. I am tall and attractive and for every 10 women I meet only 2 or 3 will find me attractive and that's the way it is.

Zackamite496 · 2024-09-17T05:19:55+00:00

There are some where it’s much more difficult for them than it is for others, and that’s just the cruel nature of reality. It could be your personality, looks, genetics, upbringing, trauma, disabilities, or a combination of all of it. It all plays a role in how easy or how difficult it is to become attractive. And some people are literally dealt such a bad hand that it is literally impossible for them to be objectively attractive. And that’s okay. Nobody has to be objectively attractive in order to be successful in attracting somebody from the opposite gender. Ugly people, fat people, even people with debilitating disabilities all over the world have proven time and time again that it’s possible to find somebody they love that loves them back, it’s all about headspace. You say you’ve tried many times? And now you think it’s impossible? There’s no such thing. Until you have spent the remainder of your days trying to become the best version of yourself and fail, there’s no such thing. I can guarantee you without a hint of a doubt that there is a woman out there that will like your personality and would be your perfect match, and you’d find this woman attractive as well. Could you fuck it up with this woman? Hell yes you can. If you stick to letting yourself hold you back then yes it’s possible. But your chances of making it happen rise exponentially if you keep trying. Nobody said it would be easy, and with the way you’re acting and describing yourself it sounds like it’s going to be extremely hard for you. Maybe you’ll have to lose many times before you ever win. It’s really all up to you man. You’re not doing yourself any favors right now and you know it. You know that your mindset is making things worse. Before before you’re even able to make a step in the right direction you need to accept the fact that it is possible for you to attract somebody that you also find attractive.

DaHouseSomalian · 2024-09-17T10:35:55+00:00

I literally saw a guy yesterday who looked like the Comic Book store guy from the Simpson on a date with a girl with Down’s Syndrome, so everything is possible. I’ve seen people in wheelchairs with partners. I’ve seen very unattractive couples together, etc.

Bar some extreme physical disability, I will say that since you are alive today, your ancestors procreated successfully from present times all the way back to the beginning of life on earth (think about it). So no, I don’t believe that there are hopeless cases. Not every guy will get to date supermodels or have a crazy sex life, but yes, he can find a partner.

When guys say they have tried every seduction/pickup trick in the book and still can’t figure it out, I know exactly what the problem is. And the problem is that there is actually no problem, but they believe they have a problem which makes it real for them and therefore it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

So your problem isn’t that you are inherently unattractive and will never get a gf. Your problem is that you BELIEVE you are incapable of attracting women and you try to overcompensate with all these techniques and all this effort (trying too hard), which just signals to women that you have a problem getting them.

Are there things you can do to be more appealing? Sure. Are you in shape? Do you always dress like you are going somewhere important? Do you take great care of your appearance and if needed spend a lot of money on getting your teeth, skin, hair, etc., fixed if needed? Do you know what you want out of life and are pursuing it?

Most men who have trouble with women are not really willing to pay the price it takes to be successful. They want to get girls but they don’t want to change anything about themselves in order to do it. They won’t even out on a new, more attractive shirt or get a haircut for their online profile photos. At most they are willing to change their bio a little bit. And then another year passes by and they still post on ForeverAlone.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2024-09-17T11:18:40+00:00

I believe that there truly are naturals out there, and sometimes it’s hard to define, but women are drawn to them. I think unattractive people have the capacity vastly improve and have more success in dating, but the naturals will always have an advantage.

It’s the same with any facet of life. Some people just have it naturally, while others have to work much harder.

Leewaak · 2024-09-17T13:59:38+00:00

Look i’ll give you a very honest and factual answer, most guys around and from this subme aswell, are around 6/10 on a normal day chilling in their room or busting they ass off in a job, but when we do take care of ourselves get a good haircut, trim the facial hair, dress our best and smell good, most guys can get to a 7/10 on a good day

I dont know if you put significant effort in bettering your look before you go out, or u just half ass some clean clothes and brush ur hair a little bit

Looks-matching is a real thing, but most times you can get girls 1 or 2 points above you

But yes there are some ugly people around, if you truly put every single bit of effort in your look and you believe you’re a 3-4/10

Then i’d suggest start spending a little bit more money for a really good barber that will get you a cut that will really match you, the good ones are actual miracle workers. If you have skin problems get to a Dermatologist work on clearing your skin. Hit the gym have a more toned physique. If you’re short get some insoles that’ll add 2-3 inches to your height

Spend some money and some months working on these and i’d guarantee you, you will get to a 6/10 mark when you truly put the effort in. Then you’re game you will get your fair share of 6-7/10 girls when you learn how to have and hold interesting conversations with girls and learn when to escalate

Shit i’m doing the same thing, i’d say on a really good day i’m a 7/10, but recently i changed barbers to an IG one and my haircuts are even better, i’d just signed up to a Derm that’ll help me clean my acne scars and make my face have a cleaner look. I’m on a weight gaining diet right now as im super skinny i just gained 5-6 pounds in the past couple months, i fill my shirts better now. I’ll hit the gym aswell. By next summer i’d say i’d go up 1/2 points in term of looks

So yeah TLDR i guess : Stop Bitching and put effort in your looks. Nothing in life is easy but everything in life you can find success in if you take initiative and work on it

Chasin1337 · 2024-09-17T15:30:40+00:00

You want to be it, but you dont want to become it.

Thats your mistake

aeroaca9 · 2024-09-17T02:38:27+00:00

Yes, there are some people who are unable to become attractive. I am one of them. All it takes for you to become attractive is to workout/eat right to have an attractive body, do some basic hygiene, and treat women like people and have the courage to ask them out. If you are unable to do any of those 4 things, then you can never become attractive. I am in the same boat, I can't become disciplined and lose weight/build muscle no matter how many times I try, and I lack the confidence to ever try to ask out a girl unless I am certain she likes me. Because of this, I can NEVER become attractive, no matter how much advice given etc.

If you're in the same boat, accept it and pay for hookers if you chase hedonic pleasure like most of these PUAs, or pursue virtue in a moral way, like in religion.

Title	Do you believe that there are truly some people are unattractive and cannot become attractive?
Author	Rare_Marzipan481
Upvotes	35
Comments	178
Date	September 17, 2024 2:32 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1finjqn/do_you_believe_that_there_are_truly_some_people/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-you-believe-that-there-are-truly-some-people.1530474 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530474

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