Why do so many men believe if women ghost after sex it's because "sex was bad"?

Muscletov · 2024-09-24T05:18:09+00:00

Because "you suck in bed" is always thrown at men ?

TeacherSterling · 2024-09-24T04:54:20+00:00

Men have a lot of pride about their sexual prowess. Almost every man I have ever met is convinced that he is really good at sex, and that women never have faked orgasms with him. They assume that their sexual prowess is unique and that the women that he is with never experienced the same before. Consider the line from Clerks:

"If woman makes man cum, it's standard. If a man makes a woman cum, it's talent."

Considering they see themselves as such rarities they usually associate such rarity with value.

Men who are involved with women that typically want ONS or pressure free sex usually are not the ones pursuing LTRs. It's not universal but it's certainly less common. And the ability to seperate sex from emotion is somewhat higher in men.

So the situation where the man is looking for more and gets ghosted for not being a good LTR option is much rarer than the alternatives to the point most men don't consider it.

Traditional blue pill thinking is that women use sex to get love while men use love to get sex, it's our natural reflective instinct. In traditional societies, we see many warnings associated with this: 'men only want one thing", 'be careful being alone with your boyfriend", etc.

Randomwoowoo · 2024-09-24T05:18:31+00:00

I've been ghosted by some women after hooking up, and I don't know why they did. Because they ghosted lol.

I don't think I'm Casanova, but I make sure both people at least finish. So it could be because I was a bad lay, but I'm more inclined to believe it's just because it was a ONS and they didn't want anything more.

And...It never really bothered me? I don't know how it could, because I had like 1% emotional investment in them, and vice versa. Like, making out in a bar with someone you just met isn't exactly "please call or text me so we can discuss our future babies" material.

So, when they didn't respond to texts the next week I just deleted the numbers and moved on. I never felt a "need" to know, because it was never deep to begin with.

Mrmonster225 · 2024-09-24T04:53:34+00:00

Because it’s true most times. Most women don’t go to far once you give them good sex. It’s the same with us, no way in hell we ghosting a women that’s a head monster. It’s only natural to think the sex is the issue if she disappears as soon as it’s brought into the equation

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-09-24T13:12:44+00:00

Most people, when the sex is good want to do it again.

I’ve told the story: I once was on a double date with a bro whose girl he was into has a roommate so we double dated. She wasn’t my type but she was pretty chill so at the end we hooked up and we both thought it would be a “one time thing”. It was so good I asked her if I could call her again and we were FWB for a while. We had no sheared interests at all but man was she good in bed.

I’m guessing some guys think like me in that “well if it was good they’d probably at least keep in touch”

But I get it. Sometimes a dude is just in the right place at the right time and literally “gets lucky”

2024-09-24T18:18:38+00:00

Bigger question is why do we normalize and excuse ghosting? Truly childish and immature behavior.

berichorbeburied · 2024-09-24T04:59:33+00:00

Because a woman won’t ghost you if you had good sex or intense sex or if they had multiple orgasms

They just won’t

They’ll call back or check up on you or wait for you to initiate another round

If a woman ghosts you it because you didn’t do something right

Or you just wasn’t good enough

That’s it

In theory someone could turn down 1,000,000$ that’s free either way no strings attached

But why would they do that?

Must be something about whose offering

Maybe there is a hidden deal

Etc etc

Basically you are not someone worth keeping in her life sexually

And it’s better to internalize it as your fault so you can grow and learn from your mistakes

And change

MikeArrow · 2024-09-24T04:48:52+00:00

Not that I've had, well, any one night stands. I would 110% assume that it was because I was bad at sex and that's why she lost interest.

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grown_folks_talkin · 2024-09-24T05:34:30+00:00

Honestly, for me I’ve only been truly ghosted twice after what I thought was a good sexual performance and it was blatantly obvious after the fact that one was cheating on someone.

The other time I was visiting from out of town but would’ve tried to see this woman the next time I was in that town, mild ghosting really.

I’m not the only one, in many guys’ experience women get hooked on good dick. Thinking college could be an exception to this.

2024-09-24T10:52:58+00:00

The reality that men need to perform in a ONS situation is communicated very clearly. The whole thing need not be complicated with thoughts about a LTR.

A lot of women bemoan that they want a fwb situation. They say the problem is most men are unattractive and have no idea what they are doing in bed/can't find the clitoris etc or just don't care about her pleasure. The message is clear that men have to perform if they want return customers. I have been told multiple times without asking and have experienced that if a ONS is not working out for a woman she just fakes an orgasm and then acts like you never had sex.

There are next to no women going on record saying that they would choose the randomness/excitement of a ONS with a new person (with risks involved) over an established, solid hookup.

There is no logic involved, this is just what we experience first and second hand.

You implied that there is a belief about women or actual mechanism that happens in ONS and fwb that goes good sex → LTR or even bad sex → no LTR, which may both be true but we would literally need studies to confirm or deny.

obviousredflag · 2024-09-24T11:35:52+00:00

I never thought someone ghosted me because sex was bad.

Savings-Bee-4993 · 2024-09-24T13:40:27+00:00

It’s a plausible hypothesis. If we went on a date, and then you ghosted me, I think I’d be justified in thinking you ghosted me because the date was bad.

Women don’t seem to care about sex as much as men. Many men are just trying to get their rocks off, get that release — a woman being bad in bed in these cases isn’t a problem — and men seem to desire or need women more than vice versa. (Painting in broad strokes here.)

kongeriket · 2024-09-24T14:10:41+00:00

It's not a double standard. I ghosted for bad sex too.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2024-09-24T14:23:23+00:00

The first insults women resort to for men is you're small and suck in bed

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-09-24T16:21:50+00:00

I’ve had terrible sex and the women were still so into me and wanted to hang again asap. Then I’ve had all night long, squirting and soaking the be, multiple intense orgasms passionate sex and got ghosted.

There’s obviously some correlation in sexual chemistry, but just because you thought the sex is great doesn’t mean she won’t ghost you.

Unable_Evidence_4028 · 2024-09-24T18:50:11+00:00

Why do so many men believe if women ghost after sex it's because "sex was bad"?Why do so many men believe if women ghost after sex it's because "sex was bad"?

way too many women say that as a way to insult or discredit certain men for doing certain things (like not wanting a relationship right away) so some men consider it "the standard".

Why double standards

Because as much as bad sex sucks, it still is better than no sex at all.

A secret about men and sex, men don't enjoy sex that much, they need sex. It is not the pleasure of sex that makes men go for it, it is the torture that is not getting sex, so even if the sex is extremely bad, it can still be better than the shit you feel when you can't have sex for a few weeks.

Thus, calling out women who are bad at sex, is against most men's interests unless they are actively married or dating them with intent of marriage.

That is why so many women who engage in the casual market think they are sex goddesses, while making sex feel barely better than a wnak. Way too many men lied to her face for decades, and she actually believes she is good at it. But they aren't (ask any man with experience, it is not uncommon to get real painful experiences like your dick being bitten or bent because of their poor performance)

HighValueWomanBook · 2024-09-24T19:47:20+00:00

Why do so many men believe if women ghost after sex it's because "sex was bad"?

Because they haven't read High Value Woman Low Value Woman yet.

There are only two types of women: High value women (striving to be with one man for the rest of her life aka marriage) and low value women (those who aren't). I tell men that sex can play a role in a woman deciding to stick around or bounce. Primarily this will only play a role with low value women, as they are NOT striving to be with one man for the rest of their lives. So if the sex is good with low value women, and they don't have any other options at the time, she'll be more likely to come back around. However, if the sex isn't good, and she has someone else that is offering the same sex or better sex, she'll choose the latter. Obviously there are many other factors when dealing with low value women, as they are NOT striving to be with one man for the rest of their lives.

IlIIlIIIlIl · 2024-09-25T02:50:00+00:00

Because in modern society, women are innocent until proven guilty while men are guilty until proven innocent.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2024-09-26T18:16:45+00:00

Because that's what women always say.

babazuki · 2024-09-24T06:41:04+00:00

They don't and this isn't a real issue. There aren't a significant amount of men crying because they're getting laid, but ladies aren't sticking around.

Men just aren't getting laid. If a man is getting laid, he's OK.

Affectionate_Cat1512 · 2024-09-24T08:41:18+00:00

Aren't women supposed to be these perfect and virtuous creatures, with emotional intelligence etc? /s

Probably because men are usually blamed for being ghosted by women

Title	Why do so many men believe if women ghost after sex it's because "sex was bad"?
Author	zeropepsilove333
Upvotes	0
Comments	128
Date	September 24, 2024 4:41 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1fo4gk3/why_do_so_many_men_believe_if_women_ghost_after/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-so-many-men-believe-if-women-ghost-after.1531212 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531212

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