STBX trying to threaten legal action to force me to delete all her nudes

jkw118 · 2024-09-26T22:01:39+00:00

So 1st off, since your not posting any of it. And your deleting everything you find. Their isn't much the courts will ask you to do if anything.. Aside from wasting yours and hers time. The Q is what kind of assurance does she want? I mean reality wise their's almost none you can give.. (ie her old phone sitting in some drawer she left somewhere) And you find it 5 years from now.

I will say if your stuff is in the cloud or a desktop. You can use it's search stuff to find all pics of her and move those pics to another folder. (It'll show them as a gallery (facial recognition etc..)

on a machine you'd need to use lightroom or something.. But even doing a quick search and what you've done is enough for 90% of the judges out there.

ageoffri · 2024-09-26T19:47:43+00:00

Never take legal advice from your ex. Ignore her, though it wouldn't be a bad idea to make a real effort to delete.

Traditional_Bell7883 · 2024-09-26T14:44:44+00:00

Ignore her. It was totally consensual, and what's more, between a married couple for goodness sake. Of course, if you were to share them with a third party or make them publicly available, you're to blame. But otherwise, she has no legal grounds.

TXJohn83 · 2024-09-25T18:32:24+00:00

Just don't respond to that line from her, let her file in court and the amount of nudes she has sent will be an issue you can talk about.

Also there was a court case the nudes are legally yours and you can't be forced to get rid of them, but be a good person and delate that shit, better spank banks are online for free.

captainchippsixx · 2024-09-25T17:31:07+00:00

Well. Stbx. Means the divorce instant final? Is she being an asshole over the process? If she is being uncooperative on anything or trying to screw you over? Was she unfaithful? This would all weigh on me. Do you have a lawyer?

If any of that is true, I would ignore her requests and not respond. Or tell her you will gather them all and send them to her parents.
Lol

orussell03 · 2024-09-25T17:07:55+00:00

Check-mate. Ask for the same.

Classic_Dill · 2024-09-25T16:59:14+00:00

I don’t believe you’re under any legal jeopardy, the revenge porn stuff is if you take those pictures and show them around a lot and it gets back to her then you are under probably some legal obligations at that point. Me personally? The day that I filed for divorce papers, I actually took every naked photo I had of my soon to be ex-wife and deleted them, I don’t wanna see her, I don’t wanna remember her and it was an easy choice for me. But I honestly don’t believe you’re under any legal obligations since she sent them to you, but if you end up showing them to people and he gets back to her? You’re definitely in trouble.

I also would spend about zero time trying to sell her on you’ve deleted them, just tell her to get a lawyer you understand and you’ll see her in court. And for your own health, my man? Delete every single friggin picture, why would you want them? That’s not your person anymore, they’re gone and you don’t wanna sit there looking into the past, trust me on this, the relationship is over. Delete every picture because it just doesn’t matter anymore.

FinnyIzzy · 2024-09-25T16:25:11+00:00

My ex-wife looked like a thumb with breasts when she was naked.

Medium_Message_224 · 2024-09-25T16:04:30+00:00

I’m no lawyer, but wouldn’t her sending you pics be considered a gift? If so, no taksies backsies. Pound sand

ReinventingOldDog · 2024-09-25T16:03:39+00:00

My ex-wife liked to send nudes also.... just not to me. Sorry, nothing to add as I had nothing to delete.

pk2at · 2024-09-25T16:02:26+00:00

Do not contact or talk her in any way, just wait for court orders

Brave_Quantity_5261 · 2024-09-25T16:00:43+00:00

I’d just delete what you can easily and then tell her to sue you. She’s not going to want to go to court over this, unless you are doing something with the photos. If you aren’t distributing them and you tell her (and the judge) that you deleted them all, it’d be dumb to try and force discovery in court and expose everything.

I keep thinking of that line in “Tommy boy” - I can get a hell of a look at a T-bone steak if I put my head up a bulls ass, but I’d rather take the butchers word for it.

I think you’d be the butcher in this scenario. And she’d be the bull.

Top-Pop-2624 · 2024-09-25T15:37:15+00:00

I deleted and trashed every picture I had of her. 42 years worth. Not just nudes but any picture she was in.

pennywise1235 · 2024-09-25T15:04:47+00:00

First things first: if you have these pics, even if you have them down in a file no one would ever know about if you died, delete them now. Holding on to those pics will do you absolutely no good.

Second: if this is bugging your STBX that much, offer to let her watch you delete the photos. Send a video doing so, take your laptop to a public space in daylight, show her you do not need nor want her nudes. That probably won’t work, but it beats this kind d of harassment.

Ancient-Homework7557 · 2024-09-25T15:02:06+00:00

What a moron. She has no control over what you do with those. Of course, never show them to anyone as that would make you a complete asshole. But really, why would you want them anymore? I deleted ones my ex sent, voluntarily. It’s all been seen and done before. Close book. Check please. Goodbye. Good riddance.

Brown33470 · 2024-09-25T14:59:51+00:00

Tell her pound sand!

northdakotact · 2024-09-25T14:27:19+00:00

Copy it to a hard drive or another device, tell her it has been deleted if she asks. To be honest, its an asshole move to share nudes and then later on insist they be deleted.

itoocouldbeanyone · 2024-09-25T13:10:38+00:00

I deleted what I had on my phone in front of her. I asked for the same reassurance. She blew it off with her technical ignorance. She does have waaaaay too many pictures in general. 🤷‍♂️

I’m keeping ones with me in them, not for enjoyment. But I’m sure when I’m 70+ I’m gonna want to see my young self again unwrinkled.

Gillilnomics · 2024-09-25T12:35:27+00:00

Ignore her AND CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS

I had video of my ex assaulting me for the 5th and final time.

I made the mistake of leaving my phone to charge while I let the dog out the next morning.

She deleted everything.

Thing is, 9 months ago, after being split for over a year at that point, she broke into my new home and assaulted me again. Have it all on video. She ran when I called the police, they refused to go after her and the prosecutor refused to press charges.

So hopefully they won’t do Jack shit about nudes she sent unprovoked and with complete consent.

Sea_Emu_4259 · 2024-09-25T12:32:46+00:00

Legally speaking, those pics are probably yours since she sent them willingly. But laws can be weird and they're changing all the time with this kind of stuff.

Here's the thing - even if she did try to take you to court, it'd be pretty much impossible for a judge to check if you actually deleted everything. Courts don't have the time or tech skills to dig through all your devices and cloud storage.

It would require forensics analysis to really check you deleted them & potentially not copied them somewhere. They wont go that far, it is not like you have classified data

Honestly, nothing prevent you technically to just zip everything with a secret password & store them somewhere else.

Just tell her your are deleting stuff as you come across it, rather than doing a big purge. Just give her a bone, kind of. Dont just say no or u dont have time as u mentionned.

One small risk you face if you refuse to delete them is that she might falsely claim you are unwilling to delete them and that u threaten verbally (without proof) that u will used them create some form of revenge porn so that is why she asked you to delete them to prevent it.

The strategy involves taking something trivial that the judge wouldn't be concerned about, mixing in a truth, and adding a lie that could lead you to court. aka 'affabulation"

Just make sure to keep a record of your conversations about this.

Boomhower113 · 2024-09-25T11:57:08+00:00

She partly wants you to delete your prior communications together. At some point she’ll say, “At least delete the text thread between us,” or something like that. Don’t do it. You may need those down the road if this gets ugly (and it sounds like it will.)

I agree with the other guys, just ignore her.

PracticalBad2466 · 2024-09-25T11:48:47+00:00

Ignore her

Practical-Island-436 · 2024-09-25T11:31:29+00:00

IGNORE HER

Exciting-Pomelo1227 · 2024-09-25T11:20:54+00:00

God, why would you even want them? The biggest boner killer I can imagine would be a nude of my ex... Just delete them and send her a screen recording of you doing the "Delete All" function in Photos and be done with it.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-09-25T10:52:41+00:00

Just tell her you deleted them. A judge isn’t going to order your phone searched just because she “has regrets”.

She’s going to try this with pretty much everything btw. I want this or else. Stop talking to her and communicate through a lawyer so the scare tactics don’t work and you can get a fair deal done as quickly and cheaply as possible.

leegiovanni · 2024-09-25T10:42:25+00:00

You’re getting caught up in unnecessary details

Why don’t you just reassure her that you have done your best to delete any nude photos of her in your possession and will do so if you come across any unexpected ones?

There’s no way she can reasonably ask to go through your devices, but there’s also no need to pick a fight over this.

Title	STBX trying to threaten legal action to force me to delete all her nudes
Author	loveischemicals
Upvotes	22
Comments	35
Date	September 25, 2024 10:38 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fp1b5v/stbx_trying_to_threaten_legal_action_to_force_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/stbx-trying-to-threaten-legal-action-to-force-me.1531331 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531331

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