Men need to understand the rules of the game they are playing PRIOR to joining

emorizoti · 2024-10-01T06:43:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

No-Emu-1307 · 2024-10-01T06:26:24+00:00

It’s not actually that deep bro 😭I’m ngl

Plus-Opportunity8541 · 2024-10-01T06:51:08+00:00

While I do agree that men need to put in more work, why are we not allowed to date until we've done a fucking CER on dating? Seriously, no one tells women "You need to watch these 5 videos on how to attract men or you're gonna die a virgin" but with a dude you say we need to "research the marketplace" like, what does that even mean? Do I need to go get peer reviewed research or something?

obviousredflag · 2024-10-01T08:14:42+00:00

So, what does it take to get a GF? Did you understand the rules of the game yet?

Involved_Currently · 2024-10-01T07:34:53+00:00

This is the worst way to do research, especially for young boys.

This is how it should be:

mixed groups, get boys in contact with girls, interacting with girls, playing with girls in an ideally non-gendered neutral environment (gendered non-neutral environments can still exist, for example in team sports where boys can learn to be boys etc.)
encourage boys and girls to have mixed gendered friendships in middle school
have boys learn how girls are, how they think, how they reason, what they value and how they communicate and behave with each other in non-gendered neutral environments

Different mixed non-gendered neutral environments could be non-sport hobby groups, neighbourhood groups and school obviously.

Then introduce them to a completely different set of women that dont already know them and let them explore dating in that circle. I think all of the above is also a useful approach to understanding boys, for girls, accordingly.

Then you can introduce them to the redpill in their like mid-20s when they already have experience and a working model of what dating women is actually like in many cases and they have already have framework to weigh the "lessons" appropriately. But they need to start without bias and explore it themselves first.

I think evidence that this would work is that mixed gender siblings with a good relationship to their sibling usually do very well with the other gender, simply by virtue of knowing how to communicate.

Also even the above wont work if there is childhood trauma that causes commitment issues, fear of closeness and proximity etc. Regarding sports, I think its good for boys to do sport with boys and to have it be a competitive, tough and physical sport because its effective at hardening and developing will to fight. I guess girls should also learn these things and should also do competitive physical sport, but I dont think its good to be mixing groups in terms of gender. Ive met women better and stronger than me, but there is something awkward about being physically competitive with women. I think humans may have a natural aversion to, or maybe thats just socialization, but pure boy groups have always felt better, have always connected better, I think thats valuable and I dont think its worth destroying that experience for the sake of combating some sort of sexism we might have regarding physical competition between men and women.

Careful-Inspector439 · 2024-10-01T08:42:38+00:00

Spend time with pick up artists, create fake online dating profiles. Do your research on the marketplace. Then make an informed decision on whether to participate or not. That's market research 101.

Sounds very romantic.

IcyTrapezium · 2024-10-01T06:41:32+00:00

No. Pick up artists have terrible advice though it could help you get laid occasionally with some chick you don’t give a fuck about. You could do that by just going to bars and chatting up women a lot though.

People who try to go on dates a lot go on the most dates. It’s that simple. When I want a boyfriend in the past I treated it like a job almost. I went out several nights every week. Otherwise I usually stay single. Though interestingly I met the man I spent the most years with kinda out of the blue when I wasn’t looking. I still don’t think you should just wait around for fate though.

Major_Decision_7107 · 2024-10-01T07:17:40+00:00

Honestly, if relationships are treated like homework, it’s best not to engage at all. That sounds exhausting. Plus, when you really dig into what women prefer, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what that is, which can make relationships seem even less appealing. Sometimes, it’s better to approach things without focusing on predictions or assumptions. Love and sex aren’t supposed to feel like work or an obligation. While it’s true that women may have certain biological preferences, you can never really know—something unique about you might be exactly what sparks her interest.

IdiAminD · 2024-10-01T08:18:19+00:00

You need to participate to know who you want and who might be interested in you. No other way than practice - even this so called 'game' is nothing more than ability to just hold conversation. How can you learn it without practice ?

I think what many guys are worried about is that it is very unpleasant to find yourself in social situations that you are not familiar with and have no experience in dealing with. I can understand that - socially awkward men are penalized more heavily than socially awkward women, though it is still not that terrible as many guys imagine it is.

I know that there is this dream that you can prepare yourself somehow at home, but it's not true unfortunately. Majority of people are socialized in small steps from early childhood - when making mistakes is justified and everyone is new to it, but this socialization is still done irl, guys try hitting on girls, girls call them stupid or they reciprocate, some broken hearts, some confilcts etc. If you missed out on it you are a bit behind - but it can be fixed. But not by PUA, fake profiles or any of this nerdy 'methods' - it can be fixed by gradual socialization, casual talks to your female coworkers, trying to participate in some activities where young women are present, even by going on some online dates and failing. As long as you are not aggressive creep - nothing bad will happen.

Khidorahian · 2024-10-01T08:59:10+00:00

Nah, I’d rot.

SaBahRub · 2024-10-01T13:38:46+00:00

Most normal men do

It’s the awkward minority that have issues

tiddermacss · 2024-10-01T14:27:28+00:00

well as long as its on men.. lol..

ta06012022 · 2024-10-01T15:20:28+00:00

But for most men, there's no defined point when they "join the game". It just sort of happens.

I had my first "girlfriend" when I was in 6th grade. She was a girl I had classes with and one day a couple of her friends walked up to me in the hall and told me that she wanted to go to the dance with me. In our brief and extremely awkward "relationship", we held hands and kissed a few times.

I had 1-2 other situations like that over the next couple years. Then I got my first "real" girlfriend in 8th grade. I say real because we actually started to hang out 1:1 outside of school/school events, we made out and that sort of thing as well, but I think we were both pretty oblivious as to how a relationship was supposed to work. It was just two clueless kids fumbling their way through things.

Then eventually in high school I experienced the first thing I would actually consider a real relationship.

My point is, most guys don't suddenly jump off the high dive into the deep end as an adult. Most slowly wade in and adjust to the water as they go. In doing so, they learn the rules of the game on easy mode before it gets harder.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-10-01T07:28:03+00:00

The problem with your narrative is that most men play “the game” just fine and get GFs without any degree of difficulty - real people don’t do any of the things you listed

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-10-01T07:33:46+00:00

Nah. Let people experiment. Most people will figure it out themselves. For those who don't usually people they are close with can help. Unless they are not very social and their small social circle is the same. And in that case you need to accept that you need to put actual effort into stuff.

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harmonica2 · 2024-10-01T10:19:11+00:00

I had to learn game and now I have a gf, so isn't it worth it to learn, since it might work possibly?

Impossible_Cup7586 · 2024-10-01T10:33:37+00:00

Completely agree OP, thank you for spitting facts. Every male can and should benefit from learning some game. Contrary to popular belief, 'game' doesn't even involve learning how to be an attractive man it involves learning about WOMEN and female behaviour. Men are not born with 'natural' knowledge on what women like/dislike because... they're not women. Tired of certain men making excuses as to why they can't develop their social skills and increase their chances. No one is saying it's a guarantee you will get women but it will INCREASE the likelihood of you doing so.

emax4 · 2024-10-01T10:47:21+00:00

Is this for dating, or for establishing a relationship? The rules change for relationships.

As a man, the odds are against you. Due to that, it's not worth putting in that suggested amount of time and effort. Make a good profile by highlighting positives you would bring to the table and list realistic expectations, and hope for the best.

a_minty_fart · 2024-10-01T11:53:11+00:00

Anything turns out better when you know the rules and you've prepared.

Dating is no different, yet there's a taboo surrounding it.

Mrmonster225 · 2024-10-01T18:26:23+00:00

I agree with men needing to understand the rules of the game but why recommend incomplete & inauthentic which PUA over the complete & authentic game?

Fickle_Friendship296 · 2024-10-01T18:38:10+00:00

I feel like this is a major reason so many guys go insane with this whole dating thing when in a nutshell, dating is simple when you think about it.

Be yourself.
Be optimistic
Be assertive and clear in your intentions.
Be polite
If you're rejected, repeat steps 1-3.
Move on if things don't work out.

8 Try again when you're ready.

Much like the top commenter said: men are often targeted for their perceived "inadequacies" often things that are innately arbitrary like "personality" "confidence" or "charisma" whereas women just... aren't.

A woman doesn't need to be told to "be herself," to date, but men are constantly told this. The problem is, men are also hit with "you suck, you need to get better." So this creates an environment of animosity toward the caricature of "chad" who "figured out the game," when in reality, Chad is as real as Santa Clause.

This attempt to retool innate traits puts social pressure on men for no reason.

Title	Men need to understand the rules of the game they are playing PRIOR to joining
Author	HolidaySource1564
Upvotes	0
Comments	158
Date	October 1, 2024 6:20 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1fthh47/men_need_to_understand_the_rules_of_the_game_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-need-to-understand-the-rules-of-the-game-they.1531752 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531752

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