Women want to marry only for the money and nothing else. They use love as the umbrella to lure in men.

xKalisto · 2024-10-25T21:59:39+00:00

And where are all these eligible rich men?

Like I'm looking at you guys from across the pond, but tons of young Americans seem to be struggling to afford their avocado toasts.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2024-10-25T21:54:14+00:00

Well then I guess Im fucked since I make more $ than my boyfriend 🤷🏻‍♀️

leosandlattes · 2024-10-25T22:03:25+00:00

People marrying for love is relatively new. In the past you would get married because it was expected of you, for you to have kids, and to fulfill some function of passing on inheritance. Pragmatism came first, with the assumption that you could grow to love your partner. For both men and women.

In Westernized countries, there is even more emphasis on marrying for love than ever before. I do not understand how you all don't see this. Women are requiring that men be lovable and are opting out of dating otherwise.

EulenWatcher · 2024-10-25T22:46:15+00:00

Most people date close to their socioeconomic status, and almost half of marriages in the US do not have male providers making more than 60% of their shared income. Alimony is granted in around 8-10% of cases in the US, and the alimony laws greatly depend country to country. For example, in Russia alimony is granted only in case of a disabled spouse (independent of their gender), pregnant spouse or spouse who has recently given birth (and it's temporary). By your logic most women fail to marry for financial security.

In reality a lot of women do pay attention to the financial aspect, because it does matter for family's well-being and for future plans. It doesn't mean they marry for money or they aren't seeking love. There are also enough women dating and marrying broke men, because...well, love and these are the men in their social circle. Young couples also tend to be less practical and more about feelings, so more of them break up over time.

Also, on a personal level, I married a broke yesterday's student. I was supporting him for some time during the studies, then again when we had to move countries. Now we live in a wealthier country while being broke immigrants. Clearly we're together for more than money - we stick through thin and thick. There are a lot of other immigrant/refugee couples like this, and local couples like this who went through some other problems like unemployment, health issues etc. It depends on your social circle and what example you tend to notice more.

iphones_apple · 2024-10-25T22:05:34+00:00

If your theory was true, there wouldnt be so many poor men marrying all the time. Btw Is this sub mostly incel men? Coz i love debating relationships but most posts by men here seem incelly. Women marry because of social pressure. They don't want to be spinsters blah blah. Men gatekeep relationships and marriage; women sex. Thats why they talk about marriage all the time. If someone wants to date you/marry you, you are a desirable female mate.

OffTheRedSand · 2024-10-25T21:52:44+00:00

That's true for some women for sure.

but the same could be said about men who just want constant sex and can't get it anywhere else so they mask it with love and relationship when it's just about sex.

both marriages for money or sex only don't have the longest life spans.

but not all men or women are like that and the goal is to find someone to love you and you love them.

but both genders could be used just for different things.

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-10-26T11:46:24+00:00

Yup you hit the nail on the head, I would stay far and I mean far away from these evil creatures who are trying to take the 2 dollars you have to your name.

alwaysright0 · 2024-10-25T22:24:14+00:00

On average younger women are out earning men.

They dont need your imaginary money

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-10-25T22:04:02+00:00

It's both. Marriage brings stability to both people, but you choose the person based on love.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-10-26T21:53:18+00:00

the romance and connection is how you get together, court and get engaged, of course actual marriage is about financial stability, how do you expect women to have families

Novadina · 2024-10-25T23:31:52+00:00

Here’s the blunt take: in this view, women are all about the financial stability that marriage brings. It’s not about romance or connection — For them, marriage is like a safety net that secures a comfortable lifestyle without having to stress about money.

You think when women get married, they don’t have to stress about money? Are you saying marriage makes a couple rich automatically or something? Our mortgage did not disappear when we got married. How do I get this benefit??

When they marry someone financially stable, they know they’re covered, no matter what happens with their own career or finances.

If anyone thinks they “know” this they are probably young and naive. Financially stable people lose their jobs all the time. My dad has a PhD and made enough money to support a family and have a house, then there was a recession and housing market crash, my parents couldn’t pay their mortgage and went bankrupt. Marriage did not bring my mother any magical money.

And then there’s the whole divorce angle. If things go south (and we all know by now that 70% of divorces are initiated by women), there’s alimony or a settlement to fall back on, which means ongoing support, while also having sex with Chad from work.

Alimony is rare, less than 10% of divorces have it. So anyone who thinks they can “fall back on” that is probably in for a surprise.

Basically, it’s all about locking down that financial security. Marriage becomes a smart, strategic choice, where financial gain is the main goal—not the side benefit.

My husband and I committed to each other just fine without marriage. We mainly legally married for the legal benefits - which does include some financial benefits. For example, he can get healthcare from my job, and we get a break on taxes by filing jointly. Legal marriage is obviously mostly about the legal stuff, I’m not sure what you expect. Lots of people also want a religious marriage, though, and I don’t think that involves getting legal benefits.

When you go out dating, marriage is one of the earliest thing they talk about. Why?

I don’t know about other people, but I wanted to make sure he was on the same page as me. I had no desire to get married soon at the time we started dating, I felt it wasn’t needed and we could do it later if we decided we needed it (which is what we ended up doing eventually), and also had no desire for any kind of religious marriage, both of those are things men have expressed wanting to me, so I just wanted to make sure he was aligned.

They do that because they don’t marry for love or romance.

I don’t really need a legal agreement to have love and romance…

toasterchild · 2024-10-25T22:12:19+00:00

Why would you not want to make sure the person you are dating has the same overall life and dating goals that you do? Why waste time dating someone and getting attached if you are just going to have to break up in the end? The sooner you find the reason to end it the easier ending it is.

Most marriages are between 2 people who both work and it is financially beneficial to both parties. It's hard as hell to afford more than just your bills when you are living on your own these days. Married people split bills and afford more. They not only have more assets but they also have more assets that earn money like home equity. When a marriage splits up both parties walk away with assets. Married people also tend to earn more which is a benefit.

If you are concerned about supposedly losing money in the case of a divorce marry someone who earns somewhere in the general ballpark of what you do. Alimony is only paid out in 10 percent of divorces and almost exclusively where one spouse doesn't work at all or works significantly less. Just don't marry someone who doesn't work. Considering that is less and less common every year it shouldn't be all that hard.

I just don't understand why more men don't give a fuck about the finances of people they date or marry. Marriage requires more than just love, love doesn't pay the bills, love doesn't get you through hart times, love doesn't feed the kids.

Manifestival1 · 2024-10-25T23:55:33+00:00

Nah, we're perfectly capable of making money for ourselves. This idea is rather outdated.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-10-26T15:37:26+00:00

In the past, yes. Now, tbh marriage/cohabitation is often more a financial necessity on both sides due to insane housing costs making it unaffordable to live alone. As well as based on a desire for companionship, sexual connection, and children (although many of us can’t afford them either).

Women still prioritize financial stability up front more, largely due to the fact they are the default caregivers for children and that means one’s career will be on the back burner for a while, and kids are expensive. However, people still overwhelmingly marry within their own socioeconomic status. Often, male students and low to low-middle income men falsely believe that wealthy and UMC men are happy to marry a pretty McDonald’s worker since they would be, but this isn’t the case irl. Professionals marry professionals, old money marries old money, these men want a woman who fits into their social circles.

Alimony isn’t really a thing anymore, and child support is usually less than the cost of raising a child. Custodial mothers are almost always worse off financially than non-custodial fathers.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2024-10-26T07:37:43+00:00

Oh God no, not again. You should change your social circle and see other men/women who are healthy. Please, I guarantee you will be happy

Mentathiel · 2024-10-26T08:39:29+00:00

Marriage is a legal contract ensuring financial security. Therefore, by definition, people marry for money. The romanticized ceremony serves a social purpose to make you accountable to your social circle to stay together and respect each other. It can and often does have personal significance to people who are getting married as a symbol of their love and devotion, but that's more a personal meaning you inject to the story and not its actual legal / social function.

Women talk about marriage early because women who want to have kids need a level of a financial security / guarantee for their and their children's wellbeing. Women are very vulnerable during pregnancy and early maternity and can't work and we lose on a lot of income based on this. The effects of maternity on women's careers are well documented and are the primary drivers of the wage gap. It's not only about the lost pay in that period, it's about compounding effects over time. So we're sacrificing our income and our health and our time to have your kid. We need to know that we will for sure be able to take care of that child if anything goes south with you.

If you want kids, you will probably ask about them early during dating and not continue dating a woman who is childfree by choice or infertile (if you're not open to adoption). This is no different. The purpose of talking about it early is to not waste each other's time if our major life goals are incompatible. Similar for if you want to live in different countries, if one of you wants to do a job that would require them to not be home often (military, cruise crew, cross country travel of any kind whether it's pilot driver etc) and the other one isn't okay with that, if you are in different religions and don't want to marry unless the other one converts, etc.

I guess what I'm trying to say, we work to marry people we love, but we don't marry for love, marriage is a financial guarantee. The reason we want to marry someone we love is because it's just nice, it's a wholesome great experience sharing a life with someone you love and who cares about you. And it gives you stability, the love is a motivation to push through all of the trials and tribulations that may come with cohabitation and children and everything, it's a motivation to keep going and work on issues and work to care for each other's needs. But you could be loving somebody lifelong without marriage, marriage doesn't change how you feel about each other, what it changes is your legal status.

Educational-Job-7276 · 2024-10-25T22:17:13+00:00

I recently just got out of a LTR, so I haven’t been in the dating scene for a while and plan on staying away from it. However, I think that while dating, marriage is something important to discuss. Hookup culture has influenced the ways in which people commit to dates/relationships and I think that it is necessary to make sure both parties are on the same page. When I was dating, that was something that I brought up fairly soon because I was worried about putting energy into a relationship that was just headed toward a dead end.

Also, historically marriage has been an economic prospect for a woman, as it was essential to survival. These days, I would argue that being a stay at home father is more common than it used to be and that women are becoming (statistically) much more financially independent. That is not to say that women looking for a wealthy man don’t exist! I just find it strange to generalize an entire gender like that.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-10-26T08:29:49+00:00

No, that's not true. If I cared about that I can find someone in less than a day. To find love is the problem, to find someone to have the spark with. Go fuck yourself with money, I don't care, I want only real love and raw attraction.

I want marriage for love, because I want to make sure he is serious about it and he won't leave.

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bluestjuice · 2024-10-26T02:50:08+00:00

It’s an interesting question although of course anytime you make a sweeping, comprehensive statement like <X people> ONLY <whatever> you’re setting yourself up for death by a thousand cuts.

But more interesting, I think, is the consideration that most of the trappings and practices of love don’t require marriage to obtain. Couples can fall in love, have sex, cohabitate, have children and parent together, and do most anything else without a legal institution confirming it. So yes, at some level the marriage needs a further rationale or justification beyond only love.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-10-25T22:16:17+00:00

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just_a_place · 2024-10-26T06:43:57+00:00

As a man, if you want to stand any kind of chance in hell of ever attracting a woman you have to either be Rich or Evil. Now if you are both Evil and Rich then you, my dude, is gonna be dripping in bitches.

I am not a good man, and that gets me enough "Evil Credits" to get some pussy, but at the same time I fucking resent women in that they always fucking bring out the worst in me. That is why I've quit women for anything other than casual fux. My sanity can afford to be the villain long enough to get laid and then act like a true villain when it's time to dump or ghost her. Like, what the fuck do they expect when being an "asshole" is the fucking thing that attracted them in the first place?

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-10-26T18:16:22+00:00

Women marry for love and to have a family, divorce you for money. Women are filing 80% of the divorces, it’s a total trap. She may think you’re the hottest thing and is all about you, a decade later you’re prob going to give her the ick and her divorced friends will tell her she can do better, then take his money, get alimony and child support, you’re totally fucked.

Happened to me, it sucks so bad worst decision of my life was to get married by a mile. Ex wives are often mean as fuck to, threaten to take your kids away, take you to court for more money, literally anything to make your life hell they will do it.

I thought for the longest time, man these dads who leave their kids are the biggest low lifes, how could you do that? I get it now, your ex will make things so hard on you and try to take them, because she knows that will hurt the worst. I’ve had to keep fighting for custody of my kids it’s ridiculous. The power the courts have given divorced women is insane.

Let’s say you got a business, half of it is hers after the divorce and she’s never been part of it. Got a pension? Oh that’s half of hers for life. You’ll be working til you’re 75 now. Women don’t care, her and the courts thinks she deserves it.

63daddy · 2024-10-25T22:17:20+00:00

I disagree with the blanket statement that women marry only for money.

That said, marriage and divorce typically favors women at men’s expense which is one of the reasons women file for divorce twice as often as men.

I think far too many men rush into marriage and it’s related biases without really considering the potential financial implications it may have on them. Men can have fulfilling relationships without buying into the financial risks of marriage and divorce.

I’m not opposed to marriage, but men should really give careful considerations to the financial implications of this biased contract before tying the knot.

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