About women's disdain for typical femdom content.

Yes, weird fringe post incoming, but idc, I feel like ranting.

This is something I ran into several times with self-describing dominant women online. Not random women, but the already extremely rare demographic of women who describe themselves as dominant and are in kink communities and stuff like that. A lot of these women outright dislike femdom porn, they say things like it's "not real femdom", it's unrealistic and makes men entitled, etc. Considering how rare dominant women are to begin with, I find this to be a shame, since I'm a person who's impression of kink is purely what I have seen online, I'm inexperienced. And I don't think there is anything fundamentally wrong with "generic femdom content". Be it videos, captions, whatever.

Now what is absolutely true is that femdom content is made for a male audience. Don't get me wrong, I don't demand women to like actively get off to it, I just think that some baseline level of acceptance or maybe even curiosity for it is ideal, if you are interested in engaging with submissive men, that is. A direct comparison could be made with women's smut: I'm not particularly interested in that stuff in a "I want to get off to it" way, but I don't outright hate it. I understand that fantasies are fantasies, they are unrealistic to a degree, yes, but they also say something about us. Just imagine a self-describing "dominant man" saying that what submissive women get off to is 99% cringe, pathetic and toxic. I'm no submissive woman, but that just doesn't sound too encouraging to me.

Another factor is that femdom simply is more taboo due to our patriarchal past, it's hard for people to even imagine it. But I also think that typical male masochism is just kind of poorly understood/dismissed as weird or defected. Everybody is unique and different, and I personally like this idea that everybody has a feminine part and a masculine part, so I'm not saying things are set in stone or are meant to be this way or that way, but there ARE tendencies. In women's submission/masochism, themes of being physically overpowered, forced into acts and being helpless are common (CNC). In men's, it's typically more about being unworthy and in the mercy of women's alluring power. And what I came to realise is that the latter is considered more ridiculous or "unreasonable" NOT just by the general populace, but even by "progressive" kinksters. And I find that pretty disappointing, honestly. I wish I could talk about this in such communities rather than this random place, but the tendency is downvotes and getting banned.

To give you an example of what I would like, contrapoints made a video called "Twilight" on youtube, it's pretty long but I can recommend it to anyone who hasn't watched it. She does a deep dive into "default heterosexual sado masochism" as she calls it, the classic patriarchal male-dominant setup and women's masochistic fantasies, kind of using Twilight as a vehicle for her musings. It was very interesting and insightful, captivating even. And very well received. What I wish for is that something like this existed for the typical male masochism side of the coin too, and that there were women who found THAT interesting and insightful. I'm just not sure if the world is ready for that. Which again, is kind of understandable, but I personally think that is all the more reason why it might be good to dig into that more bravely.

Imo the biggest lie of patriarchy is that men are superior to women. Men were weaker than women in a sense all along, we just tried really hard to supress that. And what that actually means can be seen in femdom, and men's masochism. What hurts men (and therefore can be played with) in the context of contrasting women. What they are insecure about. The core of it is pretty simple: men feel less desirable. And I mean, they are. Because women need "more". Probably a dynamic as old as time.

Even if you are on the opinion that all this gendered stuff is just bullshit, I think we still need to admit this half of the coin properly if we really want to move forward. I straight up think it's emblematic of the disconnect between the genders.