How to reduce alimony

Extra-ghostphone · 2025-02-25T16:55:02+00:00

I thought most states got rid of permanent alimony!! What state are you in and how long were you married if I may ask … I am looking at something similar

Positive_Rub_6696 · 2025-02-25T03:21:56+00:00

I was married 20 years and leveraged Gavron Warning (California) after 6 years. No reduction from say one through year 6.

I got a second job to make ends meet in the meantime

RepresentativeOk5968 · 2025-02-25T00:48:59+00:00

Find a country to move to. Move all your assets out of the country. Don't pay her a dime.

P.S. ok probably not best idea but everytime i hear about abusive alimony, it pisses me off.

Thanks_4_playing · 2025-02-24T20:48:46+00:00

This is exactly why I was deathly afraid of trial. my situation was a little different because of recent law changes eliminating permanent Alimony but I didn't want to leave it up to a judge. They're human, affected by past experiences, emotions, and even what side of the bed they woke up on for your day in court. It's also a tough task to reverse a court's decision.

Guys, don't try to win in mediation. Take the deal even if it's slightly irritating. No one is happy with a good compromise. I'm not a lawyer and this isn't legal advice

Analisandopessoas · 2025-02-24T17:52:42+00:00

Look for the best lawyer and see what your chances are of reversing a decision.

pk2at · 2025-02-24T15:38:32+00:00

If you are close to retirement, best option is to put in papers and claim zero income

Thebadmamajama · 2025-02-24T04:25:00+00:00

Depends on your jurisdiction.

For example, in CA, the law has a guidance if it's a short term vs long term marriage. Short term is half of the marriage duration from the high income earner. Long term there's no guidance (which is sometimes interpreted as forever, but that's not the case, it's just a negotiation)

If you have capital, you do a buy out over some period of time (e.g. ten years) with the discounted time value of money (i.e. if they invested that lump sum, they'd get compound returns over ten years)

Why would they agree to this? You could lose your job, or go start a business where you draw no income, and you could get it adjusted and they get nothing.

Onendone2u · 2025-02-24T02:11:41+00:00

What if you move to a different country and find new work- don't tell her about it? If you have kids that won't work.

Mangrove43 · 2025-02-24T00:16:26+00:00

Borrow my shovel

yankeephil86 · 2025-02-24T01:10:27+00:00

Move to Texas

Gattsama · 2025-02-24T08:51:11+00:00

I thought FL ended permanent alimony?? Need more details of what happened and what the order/judgment are..

upvotersfortruth · 2025-02-24T02:01:11+00:00

It went to a full trial?

InAJam_SoS · 2025-02-24T01:09:33+00:00

It's hard to believe there is still such a thing as permanent alimony. Shouldn't alimony be rehabilitative? How does this continue to go on and on? How can our society be okay with our courts incentivizing a person to be subsidized by their ex-spouse? It completely infantilizes women. The trauma caused by our family court system to children and fathers is immeasurable and divorce seems to be the biggest wealth transfer ever. Even more so than what the baby boomer generation is passing along to their heirs. It's absolutely the best "small business start-up" available. Very lucrative.

Moms_Sketti88 · 2025-02-24T00:16:06+00:00

How long were you married?

a_day_at_a_timee · 2025-02-23T23:57:13+00:00

In CA you can file a Gavron order which states that she has a “reasonable” amount of time to become self sufficient.

The courts typically determine reasonable to be half the duration of the marriage.

So in my case I’m waiting for 8 years to go by so I can petition the court to reduce the $750 in monthly lifetime alimony. I have 4 more years to go.

The paradox here is that I make $60,000 more now than I did when I divorced 4 years ago. So when I do go to court they will do a new income check and raise my $1500 monthly child support by at least $750.

So it looks like Im waiting until my 13 year old turns 18 before filing to kill the lifetime alimony.

The good news here is this:

Even with paying her $2200 a month, I was still able to save more now than I did when I was married. Mostly because Im not buying purses and jewelry every goddamn month. I also don’t do champagne brunch with the girls for $150 and I don’t have any eat, pray, love signs or throw pillows which is fucking priceless.

And with the extra free time when I didn’t have kids, I started a side business which turned into a full time job offer that pays 200k. So now I play golf twice a week have replaced all of the half million of my savings that I had to pay her and am genuinely happier.

Set the alimony to auto pay and call it a “peace of mind” payment.

whereami113 · 2025-02-23T23:46:11+00:00

car accidents happen everyday..../s

streetsmartwallaby · 2025-02-23T23:43:00+00:00

Se habla español? Can I interest you in a looooong trip to Costa Rica?

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2025-02-23T23:34:50+00:00

A lot of that depends on the state you’re in. I’m surprised there isn’t an end like when you go to collect social security at retirement.

I got divorced in the DPRMA (Democratic People’s Republic of Massachusetts) 11 years ago. Since we were only married for 11 years at that point, I was liable for up to 7.5 years of alimony. However, child support was higher so that was the option she went with.

Just over 5 years to go unless my youngest goes to college.

JackNotName · 2025-02-23T23:21:56+00:00

With no context, there is now way to answer this.

How long were you married? What state or country? Do they work? etc.

spl1111 · 2025-02-23T23:18:44+00:00

What did your lawyer say about the judgement and what was their advice leading up to the ruling? I don't have experience yet with paying alimony (I will), but I'm curious how you got into this spot being freshly divorced.

Title	How to reduce alimony
Author	tgfoot
Upvotes	16
Comments	66
Date	February 23, 2025 11:15 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1iwnhui/how_to_reduce_alimony/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-to-reduce-alimony.1544758 https://theredarchive.com/post/1544758

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