CMV: Women should train the men they're dating to be a provider

SilverSaan · 2025-03-07T09:39:28+00:00

You do have some horrible takes.

It's manipulative.

You can't change the essence of people

Just find someone else compatible

Friedrich_Friedson · 2025-03-07T07:18:59+00:00

1) men ain't dogs

2) Most women don't want that arrangement

3) Send 99% of the "dating coaches to the gulag

If you are a woman who is looking for a provider, but the guy you're seeing has gotten too comfortable... This seems like a good way to guide him back onto the provider track.

OR,hear me out,GO FIND A GUY WHO WANTS THAT INSTEAD OF PSYCHOLOGICALLY ABUSING ONE WHO DOESN'T

ComfortableJeans · 2025-03-07T07:41:44+00:00

I'm thinking about these in terms of an established relationship, because I can't imagine ever entertaining getting into a relationship with someone like this.

1 - If I text my someone to talk and they don't text back, we don't speak anymore because I don't feel as though you want to speak to me. And a break down in communication is the death of a relationship.

2 - The compliments thing, I don't know. Some-kind of acknowledgement toward the person you presumably love when they're saying something loving and sweet toward you seems like the only thing to do? What else are you going to do? Just sit there and say nothing?

Again, if this """relationship""" is just me buying things for my partner in order to get them to interact with me, what sort of relationship is this? That sounds absolutely horrible. Why would I ever entertain the idea of being with someone like that? That's an instant drop.

3 - As for being asked to pick stuff up or do little things for my partner. Yeah, I'll grab you some gum or whatever. But I do that for regular people I know, too. It seems like an odd one to throw in. Honestly, if I walked past a stranger that asked me for a piece of gum, I'd just give it to them. What's the big deal?

It becomes an issue when it's being done for some weird manipulation.

If I were to find out a friend of mine asked me to grab them a drink from the store in some weird, Pavlovian training scheme they were hatching on me behind the scenes, I would just never do anything for them again.

... How come every dating coach has this dead eyed American Psycho stare with advice that never applies in the real world? These people seem like they absolutely fucking suck to be even platonic friends with, never-mind in a romantic relationship with.

If I met a person like this, I'd avoid them. If I was in a relationship with a person like this, I'd leave them. If that makes me low value, unmasculine, beta or whatever, I'll just be those thing.

nonquitt · 2025-03-07T14:12:58+00:00

I mean you can do this but if a woman did this with me I would just stop dating her because it would feel like a sugar arrangement as opposed to a relationship

uglysaladisugly · 2025-03-07T17:08:58+00:00

That's awful, manipulative and the sign of a sad, pathetic excuse of a human being.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2025-03-07T17:04:50+00:00

Yeah, if I wanted to train someone to do tricks, I'd just work at a zoo or the circus.

Maybe find someone who is already compatible with you and wants to be a provider. Withholding affection and care from your partner until they get you the trinkets you want is abusive.

Useful_Shoulder2959 · 2025-03-07T07:20:12+00:00

This doesn’t work.

“He’s just broken, I can fix him”

Sis, he’s had 8 other women to try and fix him, don’t become apart of the construction crew.

ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-03-07T07:34:33+00:00

Men should train their gfs to be bang maids and only pay for them when they put out and clean their houses for them. How else will they learn? Does that seem like good advice?

WanabeInflatable · 2025-03-07T07:44:45+00:00

This is an immediate red flag. Such women exist and to filter them out men should warn in advance they are not wallets. Splitting the bill is also a good idea to quickly filter parasites

SlothMonster9 · 2025-03-07T08:09:09+00:00

No, pls don't disrespect people like that. Nobody should train anybody. Find someone compatibile and if both of you are open to communication and compromise, then neighter of you will need to play stupid games in order to have the relationship you want.

Downtown_Werewolf_44 · 2025-03-07T07:30:17+00:00

Solid advice?

Sorry but you can't tell me that anyone who have ever been in an healthy relationship thinks this is a solid advice.

That "I'll only do anything if I get something first" mentality and couting points will only lead to very fucked up relationship.

Plus this is really basic manipulation technics (I'm not even sure that should be called a technic at this point) anyone would notice.

At the very least, the 3rd point is probably the "best" one but still kind of lame. Refusing to answer a "how was your day?" text is strait insanity.

Albedo200 · 2025-03-07T10:53:30+00:00

I mean... Sure, the word "train" is a bit strong imo but if a man isnt putting in the effort or time that u think he should be putting, you are within your rights to not put in the effort. But i think a better solution is to just communicate. Be like hey i dont feel like im not getting what i deserve or something like that. If your demands are not completely absurd and unreasonable, then most likely your man will comply and if he doesnt you are free to leave him for someone else. Any man with enough self respect will leave the woman too if he thinks she is asking alot more from him than what she is giving

John_Oakman · 2025-03-07T11:18:43+00:00

No but not because anyone [relevant] care about what the males thinks or feels about this.

No because the types of males that are pliable enough for this to work on are also the types that women don't want, and that once it works the women are stuck in a hellish situation of their own making.

DrunkOnRamen · 2025-03-07T13:06:24+00:00

she's moskal, gross

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-03-07T15:29:59+00:00

Nothing is less arousing to me than treating an adult like a toddler

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2025-03-07T15:54:33+00:00

If you want a man only for money you can become a sex worker, you don't need to manipulate people who might want genuine non transactional relationship.

ChadoftheGymbro · 2025-03-07T19:20:48+00:00

I'm not a dog, I won't be "trained".

woodclip · 2025-03-08T00:07:33+00:00

Women should train the men they're dating to be a provider

You can only "train" desperate low value men who by nature are willing providers.

Neptune-Jnr · 2025-03-08T12:46:42+00:00

I think trying to make men providers is a good way to uphold the patriarchy

alwaysright0 · 2025-03-07T07:49:30+00:00

Absolutely terrible advice.

From the being manipulative to the wanting a provider.

captaindestucto · 2025-03-07T08:01:48+00:00

This isn't a long term plan for maintaining attraction in a stable relationship, it's just a strategy for women who want to extract resources in the short term.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-03-07T07:26:58+00:00

Just data a natural provider, than trying to manipulate a man who doesn't enjoy that into doing it for a reward. Also, if you start those games, you can expect them to be returned. Nothings stops him from only rewarding you with the things you want, when you give him what he wants. Now, who has control over attention, praise and intimacy, when both try to restrict it and reward with it?

People need to stop trying to change their partners and rather choose partners who already align with what they want.

Accomplished-Alps204 · 2025-03-07T07:38:35+00:00

Solid advice if a dude wants to be provider. I am not that kind of dude and would torpede your ass out of my home the second you'd try that shit on me.

ThulsaDoomer · 2025-03-10T09:53:06+00:00

That can turn against her if the guy becomes successful and gets more options, or she becomes too dependent on him. Instead of her controlling him, he can start controlling her.

psimmons666 · 2025-03-13T21:05:56+00:00

None of that FDS stuff works on attractive men who have options.

In my world, women buy me shit. Half my wardrobe was bought by women. Women loan me money, pay for some of the dates and bend over backwards to keep me content and happy.

Women who try and be materialistic towards me get replaced the next weekend. I do not screw around when it comes to dating.. I'm more than happy to pay dates and provide entertainment and modest gifts but entitlement gets you tossed.

Most of the men in my peer group are pretty much the same. Women do for us and we do in return. But materialism gets you tossed for a new flavor of the month.

3ONEthree · 2025-04-08T15:35:44+00:00

Or train women how to be a life partner and not find a replacement for their father.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-03-07T16:31:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Windmill_flowers · 2025-03-07T07:15:42+00:00

Dont women already do this stuff? Like... most of them?

Women clearly use sex as some type of "reward" for "good behavior", even if they pretend they dont. "Oh tee hee silly, women arent machines you put coins into and sex comes out!" then they give a list of things in order for them to give sex out lol

"I dont do coffee dates, I REQUIRE 300 dollar dinners, buh byeeee", like women do this stuff all the time.

Men are just mostly fumbling around like "SEX DURR HURR HOW DO I GET THE SEX!" like knuckle dragging dipshits, just refuse sex until he does what you want, its not that hard.

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mandoa_sky · 2025-03-07T07:13:33+00:00

honestly i just thought thanking people for doing nice things for you is simply good manners?

Main-Tiger8593 · 2025-03-07T07:21:59+00:00

obviously men built + uphold the ominous patriarchy "gynocentrism" /s

Title	CMV: Women should train the men they're dating to be a provider
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	0
Comments	110
Date	March 7, 2025 7:05 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1j5hq84/cmv_women_should_train_the_men_theyre_dating_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-women-should-train-the-men-theyre-dating-to-be.1545864 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545864

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