Why cold approaching women is wrong?

seduction-ModTeam · 2025-04-08T05:59:03+00:00

This post is being taken down because it violates Rule #4: Keep it civil and on topic.

We aren't always going to agree on everything, but at the very least, the discourse here will remain on topic and civil.

I feel like this sub is the only place where it's acceptable to cold approach women

I could see how you might think that, but cold approach is not at all seduction. Seduction involves preparation. Planning. Practice. A game plan for possible conversation paths, etc. It involves understanding and using signals being given and body language.

Walking up to someone and shooting your shot is not seduction. It's pedestrian. Put a little more effort into it and you'll see much better results.

Dwerg1 · 2025-04-07T21:38:11+00:00

Replace "cold approaching women" with "walking up to someone to hit up a conversation", see if people think that's wrong. It's literally the same thing.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-04-07T21:26:12+00:00

Those who are opposed to it - if they're women - don't want to be cold approached by strangers. Some hold this view because they find it uncomfortable and generally an unwanted nuisance.

Some men think it's wrong because they believe you should not potentially inconvenience or annoy other people, especially women. That is a value they have.

To cold approach you have to essentially be okay with pissing some people off, because not everyone likes that kind of thing.

Friendly-Win-2115 · 2025-04-07T22:15:25+00:00

OP and friends must be 19? New generation mindset. Imagine talking to someone in real life wow. Very bad.

Just do it. I did two recently and both had a connection and a good laugh, both got their number. Girls love it, as long you’re just fun and not some weird creep.

eablokker · 2025-04-07T23:03:36+00:00

Because western culture has placed women so far up on a pedestal that how dare you even speak to them! The only right thing to do is kneel before them and bow as if they are royalty.

Seriously though, the ones who complain about being approached are just the most vocal about it. There are just as many women who complain about NOT being approached. It's just personal preference I guess. If anything is wrong, it's making your personal preference a rule that everyone else must follow. No, approaching is not wrong, it's just your personal preference not to approach or be approached.

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2025-04-07T21:25:25+00:00

The problem is the stigma and stereotyping of the guys who are less competent socially and confident that come across as creepy.

If you are a warm guy who respects boundaries there typically isn't an issue.

Regardless of what you hear on subs women are always checking out men.

Deffective_Paragon · 2025-04-07T21:50:39+00:00

Most of Reddit it's full of manginas and soft guys raised by women. They follow a pattern taught by their mothers and sisters on how to be a "real man" but feel frustrated when women get attracted to the "jerk" who is actually a man with masculine and dominant behaviour. They are clueless. Act like a man and don't apologize for it

chaot7 · 2025-04-07T21:25:59+00:00

I talk to all sorts of strangers. Women, men, whatever. Nothing wrong with that.

If you happen to hit it off with someone, so much the better.

MichaelScofield68 · 2025-04-07T22:06:12+00:00

Only 2 kinds of people who dislike it: - men who can't do it - women who never intimately met good leading men

furkanx32 · 2025-04-07T21:37:51+00:00

Nothing wrong with approaching women, your friends say that because they probably never approached girls. Girls actually love being approached by guys. If you are friendly with a smile and not a creep girls will love to talk

ZEN-AF_Official · 2025-04-07T22:17:14+00:00

I get cold approached by girls all the time. It's normal. Humans are allowed to talk to each other. But it does suck how society tries to shame us for it. Even though I get approached a lot a part of me still feels nervous and almost guilty for approaching... even though I've had several times where I saw a hot girl, wanted to approach her, chickened out... and then the same girl approached me later

kangaroowednesdays · 2025-04-07T22:24:47+00:00

It’s not, just read the room. Make a comment about something instead of diving straight in, if she looks uncomfortable let her be

321sleep · 2025-04-07T22:45:32+00:00

If your game is solid the women will be flattered and engaged. It's people with no game or bad game that make approaching women feel icky.

MettaKaruna100 · 2025-04-08T00:19:10+00:00

Cold approaching women is normal and people meet that way everyday

GettingMoneyTrapStar · 2025-04-08T00:33:37+00:00

so ask yourself, do your friends telling you not to do cold approach have the dating life you want? if yes or no, ask yourself, if a person who has that lifestyle is the kind of person you want to take advice from, up to you.

GOVERNORSUIT · 2025-04-08T00:40:34+00:00

there are several reasons for this. 1) lt doesn't get many results. most of the guys who cold approach simply do not get anything out of it. either they tried it themself, or saw someone who did, and it didn;t lead to anything 2) lt lowers your self esteem. by getting rejected, you feel like you have no self worth 3) lt gets you a bad reputation 4) people don;t like the unknown. that is why most people date people they;ve known for a while 5) most men don;t like talking to strangers. therefore, if they can find an alternative, they will. many men are also introverted and feel pain by talking to strangers 6) they have found better results through social circles, classmates, alumni, etc. 7) lt is very time consuming

InFoolSpate · 2025-04-08T01:13:16+00:00

There are no accepted by everybody way to meet women. So don't listen to them and do whatever works best for you

chief_yETI · 2025-04-08T01:53:41+00:00

honestly? If you're the kind of person who needs to ask why - you probably shouldn't do it

cookycoo · 2025-04-08T02:04:50+00:00

Some people say using apps is wrong, others say meet them in a gym is wrong or at work is wrong or friends is wrong or friends of friends is wrong. The list of BS views on most topics is endless.

Man up and live life your best way, how you want but without negative impacts on others. Just don’t be manipulative, deceptive, coercive or rude. Make women feel safe and happy and all will be ok.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2025-04-07T21:37:28+00:00

I believe it’s mostly about where you want to approach. Bar/club is one thing, woman running errands or waiting for public transportation is something totally different.

Newtabs9 · 2025-04-07T21:46:45+00:00

I know what you mean. It's just the way the world changed since maybe the smart phone. Maybe even a bit before?

People get kind of hysterical over lots of things nowadays. Made worse with 'woke culture' and stuff. People look at me like a serial killer when I tell them about some of the age gap relationships i've had lol. But it was OK at the time. Lots of young people grew up never truly socialising and live on their phones and consume what they're told and think it's 'invasive' to approach someone without basically being asked kinda thing. Even words like 'harassment' get thrown around for cold approaching girls in the news in the UK. People have been jailed for it.

Having said all of that I don't care. I still cold approach every weekend. Some girls find it 'weird' and act as if they've never spoken too a stranger before, but my job is to find the friendly/extra social girls who don't think it's weird AND who think i'm good looking lol (so we can have sex)

KoleSekor · 2025-04-07T23:44:27+00:00

People who oppose to cold approach want to control men. To make sure we "stay in our lane".

If your guy friends promote that BS, it's because they've been conditioned and deceived.

Cold approach is king.

bloontsmooker · 2025-04-07T21:51:25+00:00

Cold approaching comes across as desperate. You hit on me after just seeing me, odds are you just hit on every attractive woman you see - desperation is an icky trait to have

mysteryplays · 2025-04-08T02:48:14+00:00

You miss every shot you don’t take. Talking to a women has lead to the best head for years. Small ask for a lot of pay off.

Plastic_Friendship55 · 2025-04-07T21:26:29+00:00

Nothing wrong about it. Just very ineffective.

Title	Why cold approaching women is wrong?
Author	sumimigaquatchi
Upvotes	30
Comments	56
Date	April 7, 2025 9:20 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jtwok3/why_cold_approaching_women_is_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-cold-approaching-women-is-wrong.1548845 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548845

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