Why do some men ghost when everything is going well?

Exxtraa · 2025-04-18T08:21:54+00:00

Happens to everyone. It’s not gender specific. Could be 101 reasons. I recently dated a girl for 5 dates. Holding hands, staying over, sex multiple times, cuddling all morning. And then she completely 180 flipped it. Pushed me away and then ghosted me. Zero explanation besides saying her job was making her busy.

Went from texting every day to not hearing off her for 4 weeks now. Wild to me but not much you can do unfortunately but move on.

Worldly-Essay9787 · 2025-04-18T10:00:41+00:00

How do you know everything is going so well… never assume. Mens mental health is basically not a thing, sad to say

ParticularHat2060 · 2025-04-18T08:05:05+00:00

20% of men get 80% of the women.

He likely had a better option.

Women do this to low value men all the time. Once they gave a better option they ghost.

He will likely come back but he is letting you know that he isn’t interested in a long term relationship.

fernandocamargoti · 2025-04-18T08:12:31+00:00

It can be a number of different things. Maybe the guy has an avoidant attachment style and is afraid of getting attached. Maybe he didn't like you as much as you may have thought.

For example, I went on a date with a girl that I quickly noticed she was not really my type. Still, I tried my best to make the date as enjoyable as possible, but didn't really do any physical escalation because I didn't really feel attracted to her. At the end of the date, we hugged good buy, and later she sent me a text thanking me for the date, saying that she enjoyed it. I answered her thanking her as well, but simply didn't pursue any further dates. If she asked me anything, I'd definitely answer because I really don't like ghosting anyone, but I simply didn't want to go on another date with her, so I never sent any further text. The date was cool, but I simply didn't feel the attraction.

Electrical_Owl_8169 · 2025-04-18T17:21:20+00:00

Half the time men “ghosting” is just them noticing they’re the ones initiating all the time, and then stopping as a test

They want to see if you will initiate

Odds are high you keep getting “ghosted” because you never initiate and the men get tired of it

LiquidLenin · 2025-04-18T09:46:19+00:00

You don’t really know what people are dealing with under the surface. People will do anything to avoid looking at their own souls. Just focus on seeing yourself clearly. Being present for yourself so you can see him clearly.

For all you know it’s going so well he’s self sabotaging. Or he’s off with someone else cos his ego has gone rampant. You can’t know. Surrender to it. Figure out what you want. Communicate it. Build your own heaven and if he’s ok with himself and wants to level up to he will want in

Plastic_Friendship55 · 2025-04-18T09:13:49+00:00

The same reason some women do the same

carlos11111111112 · 2025-04-18T09:40:16+00:00

Top reasons why guys ghost. Overweight, stained teeth, girl has loser behavior, red flags, boring, no genuine connection

Glacier_Sama · 2025-04-18T10:38:20+00:00

Maybe it's because the woman is showing that she isn't bringing anything to the relationship.

EstablishmentIcy7559 · 2025-04-18T08:11:51+00:00

I ghosted her because of trust issues, i kind of felt she was giving attention to other guys and i just didnt felt safe to commit further. No point voicing out anything because i felt that it wont change much.

taysoncat14 · 2025-04-18T08:59:54+00:00

I just ghosted a girl cause I have a girlfriend so I couldn’t get attached to someone else..

Cherry_Darling · 2025-04-18T11:40:19+00:00

People don't ghost when everything is "going well". They are likely trying you out, and deep down they know damn well this isn't going well for them only they won't tell you that because they are non confrontational. It's easier to pretend its a nice date and then ghost. But don't take it too personally it can be so many factors not always about you. They can have other options, they can have an ex they're still in love with, some insecurities they haven't overcome, and it can also be you but again, it might be something you love about yourself but they can't cope with so just move on. People aren't always honest, even with themselves. They can be in the moment thinking yaaay this will be amazing then back home think, yeah, I can't do this with a woman who is (insert quality here, too bubbly, too introverted, lives too far, too posh, too poor, whatever it is.) And if that something makes you feel a certain way time to adress that insecurity about yourself so you can show up more confidently next time. Nobdoy's perfect and you wont be right for most people and that's ok.

Unknown295828389291 · 2025-04-18T15:40:43+00:00

By ghosting, do you mean that he doesn't reply to your text or that he doesn't proactively reach out to you first?

Aromatic-serve-4015 · 2025-04-18T11:27:19+00:00

you are aiming to the top 10% so they're just moving on to the next girl

Practical_Run7033 · 2025-04-18T10:55:02+00:00

Mostly they are men in a relationship and confused.

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-04-18T12:33:25+00:00

Did you sleep with him? A lot of times for women the guy he is before and after sex is 2 diff people. Also the game changes a lot for both scenarios

Thierr · 2025-04-18T13:25:23+00:00

the act of "ghosting" (without an adult conversation) is usually out of their own issues such as fear of commitment

they usually aren't able to see it themselves though, it requires quite some inner work

but basically, it's not you - it's them

Kobe_curry24 · 2025-04-18T14:44:04+00:00

Go find a desperate man and not the one dating everybody look at the signs or as women would say don’t be needy lmaooo go set up a roster , I find it hard op don’t know game the best game I got was from women Runing it

MozlemBoy · 2025-04-18T23:40:58+00:00

I can’t speak for others, but I’ve done this before.

Growing up I was mostly ignored or reacted to negatively by women. Looking back, these girls were insecure just like me and maybe thought it would hurt her image to associate with a nerdy dude. It’s ok.

Fast forward a couple years and I’m in good shape, with a really high salary, apartment in Manhattan, the whole thing.

I’m like 25 and only just starting to date. Having never had even a female friend til then, I cooked up this amazing image in my head of what a woman is and had such high expectations.

But women are human beings. And as I started dating, I would slowly see they are not this amazing angelic being I built up in my head. They look bad at certain angles, make stupid mistakes, and say awkward things just like me. It would eventually get to a point where I thought in my head “ugh, this person sucks, she’s a waste of my time, I have way better things to do”. That’s exactly when I’d cook up a plan to ghost.

The only part I really cared about was the chase, those first couple weeks where I’m slowly having her fall for me. It would validate all the negative self beliefs I had of myself as someone undesirable.

All this is super unhealthy, and any guy in my shoes, I ask you to give the woman you’re with patience. You’re running away right before the most beautiful of human bonds is about to manifest before you.

jmak844 · 2025-04-18T09:36:15+00:00

Commitment

LovelyRoseBoop · 2025-04-18T11:57:56+00:00

Passive aggression if they still want you and cowardace if they don't.

WachanIII · 2025-04-18T13:27:57+00:00

Were you putting in equal effort?

sooperbowels · 2025-04-18T16:28:18+00:00

They’re married

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-04-18T16:32:45+00:00

They dont see you as someone who they can be with long term. We as men are forced to escalate for women to even give us a chance, so we spark attraction and etc to even get a chance to know the girl but if we discover we don't like them we just disengage and stop escalating.

The mature ones will let you know hes not interested.

DebunkTheIgn · 2025-04-18T18:34:21+00:00

There are so many reasons that could possibly. Old flames.. rebound.. wanted casual, started catching feelings.. scared of falling.. just wanted to see.. didn’t actually like you, you reminded them of an ex.. lol who knowwwws

unfortunately_real · 2025-04-18T21:29:33+00:00

As a man I’ve many been accused of “ghosting” the people I’ve been seeing, when in reality I’ve just stopped actively reaching out.

That usually happens with some, oftentimes tragic, things happening in my life which have nothing to do with whoever I’m seeing, but it’s hard to be entertaining some girls while your life is actively falling apart.

Had they reached out, I definitely would’ve been honest about what I’m going through and probably would’ve appreciated them initiating contact quite a lot. But to many have a “if he wanted to he would” attitude and are too proud and full of themselves to do that, then complain about getting ghosted.

Samphilbags · 2025-04-18T22:34:41+00:00

A few possibilities: 1. To reclaim his freedom & options. If the relationship dynamic is too restrictive, then that's a turn off for some guys.

The relationship tempo was too much for him...he needed more space & didn't want to directly ask for it.
Sex was mid/boring. Vanilla sex has diminishing returns...ESPECIALLY if the guy has had alot of sex. Sex doesnt produce the same dopamine hits. So he needs variety to satisfy that craving. If you're an exclusive type of woman and not open to threesomes, hall passes, or open relationships then he's going to get his sex cravings satisfied somewhere else.
You did something that crossed a red line.

StopTheTrickle · 2025-04-18T09:11:42+00:00

I ghost Red flags tbh. I'm dating to find a wife. If she says something that makes me think she's not mother material, I'll move on.

I'm also no ones parent, so if someone's red flag. It's not my place to explain why they're red flag

Many of us have learned women cannot take rejection well at all. It's easier to just block and move on

Savings-Seat6211 · 2025-04-18T12:39:26+00:00

Ghosting is incredibly common no matter the gender now

BBC_for_the_World · 2025-04-18T13:06:50+00:00

are you striving to be with one man for the rest of your life, or no?

spartanken115 · 2025-04-18T13:29:02+00:00

Everything wasn’t really going that well apparently

FWcodFTW · 2025-04-18T14:26:14+00:00

Your account is like a day old and full of other “confessions” about your boyfriend.

Stop wasting your time making up fantasies.

ryux999 · 2025-04-18T15:39:25+00:00

How did you know it was going well for him though? He probably thought the opposite, and he most likely he found someone better that he connects with.

KsmHD · 2025-04-18T19:25:09+00:00

People ghost each other, it's life just move on.

BellasHadids-OldNose · 2025-04-18T20:42:32+00:00

He’s probably married OP

videogames_ · 2025-04-18T22:27:46+00:00

Until you’re official no one owes anyone anything. Choice paradox for women and the highest tier men have made dating very difficult.

Radiant_Initiative69 · 2025-04-18T23:06:25+00:00

Everything is going well for you.

Ciabbata · 2025-04-18T23:57:47+00:00

It can be frustrating when someone ghosts, but remember it's more about them than you. They might not be ready for a relationship or have other personal reasons. Focus on yourself and keep an open mind. Communication is key, so if you feel comfortable, try reaching out calmly to clarify. Hope that helps!

ICU-812 · 2025-04-19T01:45:51+00:00

Maybe it's not, for them. Perspective is everything.

KingX1010207 · 2025-04-19T15:51:53+00:00

He dont want you period no matter what dude saying he either don’t want you at all r he don’t want you right now

BurnItDownSR · 2025-04-19T20:28:00+00:00

Its simple. It just wasn't as good for him as it was for you.

Both sexes are guilty of this. Ghosting, but also thinking that if it was great for them it should be great for the other person. That's just not how it works.

OuchCharlieOw · 2025-04-20T22:55:49+00:00

Stress, mood, someone else comes up, or no particular reason at all or frankly sometimes we just don’t care enough to be blunt

topher_atx · 2025-04-23T05:26:40+00:00

This is the unpleasant truth, guys put women into two categories: sleepers & keepers. Women won't generally sleep with unattractive men. If they have casual sex, its usually with a guy even more attractive than their past boyfriends Men are the opposite, the most attractive women we want to be our girlfriends, but we will sleep with less attractive women sometimes much less attractive. If he ghosts you, he thought you were a sleeper. Occasionally we might ghost a keeper if she isn't reciprocating, but we aren't ghosting a keeper that reciprocates. Last, we get ghosted too for sure. So don't feel bad.

EDIT: There's also a third category. Sometimes you might be almost a keeper, not a definite sleeper, but maybe not an undeniable keeper either. Many women are undeniable keepers, or undeniable sleepers, but some are knda right there in the middle.

Doppelgen · 2025-04-18T14:04:44+00:00

Hard to say why one specific man would ghost you, but there are three possibilities:

1) Easy access to other women; he had had enough of you and moved on.

2) He's giving you the silent treatment so you get attached. (Assuming he eventually returns.)

3) Simply lost interest.

I've done 2) more than once, to acceptable levels, of course. It works well.

FoggyDanto · 2025-04-18T11:48:25+00:00

Coz it's not worth it (with you)

comacove · 2025-04-18T12:08:15+00:00

Not that attracted to you could be a reason.

nonFungibleHuman · 2025-04-18T08:34:33+00:00

I do that when I am talking to someone else which has more priority. Women do the same.

Title	Why do some men ghost when everything is going well?
Author	zendey-899
Upvotes	68
Comments	71
Date	April 18, 2025 8:02 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1k1zm6h/why_do_some_men_ghost_when_everything_is_going/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-do-some-men-ghost-when-everything-is-going.1549945 https://theredarchive.com/post/1549945

Comments