To all: Have you ever broken up/divorced and then the aftermath it made you feel that "I should have fought harder in that relationship/marriage"?

No_Teacher_3313 · 2025-05-11T19:38:22+00:00

No. My divorce was the third best thing to ever happen to me, after the birth of my 2 children.

I managed to shake off the equivalent of 2 children in one fell swoop. My life became so much easier. Several months after he moved out I came down to the kitchen one morning and thought about making coffee. Then I realized that before there were occasions when I woke up and the coffee was already made. But that was the first and only thing I “missed” because I did basically everything.

It’s why I’m happy to be single mom now and date here and there but I have no desire or incentive to get married ever again. When my kids are older I’ll happily get a lot of cats.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-05-11T23:46:09+00:00

Nope. I was done, every time

wtknight · 2025-05-12T02:47:23+00:00

No. I haven't regretted my break-ups and eventually found better people. They were all learning experiences.

Waste-Love9786 · 2025-05-12T12:45:58+00:00

No, I technically never got divorced, since i was never legally married, but we were "common law" which is basically being unofficially married.

Im glad I ended that relationship, he was way too possessive and controlling and wanted me to be his 2nd mother.

My relationship with him also made me never want to live with a bf/husband ever again

Novel-Tip-7570 · 2025-05-12T02:15:19+00:00

Hasn't happened to me.

I do think my father regrets his own divorce, he never really got over it. Not that he ever admitted his faults though.

In general, I think women are better at moving on, emotionally.

No-Mulberry7538 · 2025-05-12T12:20:59+00:00

As time went on, nope. Glad I'm free and clear and have learned a lot. She's trying to save her second marriage.

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MiddleZealousideal89 · 2025-05-11T19:57:58+00:00

Eh, sort of? I was definitely the emotionally fucked up mess in one of my previous relationships, and I did think that I should have been better as a partner and actually put in the work to be a better partner and person, rather than go "I'm shitty, this isn't working, I'm out". But he's happily engaged and we're still friends, so it all worked out well for both of us in the end.

I've definitely had way more relationships where I fought for it but, honestly, should have ended them way sooner, and not tolerate bullshit for as long as I did. Ya live and ya learn.

PunkRock9 · 2025-05-11T20:39:33+00:00

Nope. It takes two to tango and she is on her 3rd husband from what I’ve been told. In the aftermath you realize how your life improves, not “fought harder” for someone who no longer wants you.

Bulky_Analyst_9168 · 2025-05-12T13:29:44+00:00

No, it's the opposite. After divorce it felt like a huge stone had lifted off my back. The more time passed, the more I realised how much I put work and effort trying to save doomed relationship. After separating I used that same effort on myself and goddamnit it felt like whole new me!

Leaving was hard and difficult choice to make, because he was honestly good man. Just not a good husband for me and our big dreams of life were way too different, there was never a real chance. I don't regret leaving, but I'm happy that I can look back and say from the bottom of my heart that I tried my everything to make it work and it was not enough, it could've never been enough.

attendquoi · 2025-05-12T14:29:15+00:00

Nope. If anything, I realized I tried too hard and should have left WAY sooner.

backstabber81 · 2025-05-12T16:15:04+00:00

No, quite the opposite. I kept thinking I should have broken up sooner, I tolerated and normalized a lot of behaviours that should be completely unacceptable in a relationship.

My ex on the other hand, promised the world, "I'll change" and all of those things they say to get back together. I didn't buy it.

Solondthewookiee · 2025-05-11T19:49:11+00:00

Maybe one relationship, but it was barely a relationship, we had only been dating for a few weeks.

There have been several relationships where after we broke up I realized I should have ended it sooner.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-05-11T19:08:39+00:00

SquirmingAddict · 2025-05-11T23:43:44+00:00

Not really.

There's always a better guy just around the corner. No matter how great an ex has been, there's always another one that makes up for what the last one was lacking.

Honestly, even if there wasn't, I'm fairly positive any ex would be willing to get back together.

Men give themselves in abundance to women, always.

Who regret anything?

G4M35 · 2025-05-11T19:27:05+00:00

LOL, not at all.

My first marriage I married "the love of my life", she was great, we were great together, it was so much fun, I could not wait to live the rest of my life with her.

And then, we got married. She changed 180 degree after the wedding, and by "after the wedding" I mean the very same night of the wedding she was a different person, and it went downhill from there.

I divorced her 7 years later, I should have done it after 2-3 years but..... I was young and stupid and in love and in denial. Oh well.

Ill-Cook-6879 · 2025-05-11T23:02:45+00:00

Well yeah... because pushing harder and fighting harder to make it last would have broken it sooner and I could have been out a couple of years quicker. That would have been lovely.

kongeriket · 2025-05-12T02:52:30+00:00

No, not really. Although one of the exes did admit many years later that she did regret not fighting harder against her own neuroticism (which was the reason I broke up with her).

bluepvtstorm · 2025-05-12T11:07:51+00:00

No. I don’t even think about them.

Acrobatic-Writer7734 · 2025-05-12T21:53:53+00:00

It's crossed my mind but never executed. I talk to my therapist to talk me down in these times.

Honestly it's because if worked so hard for change that I feel I have given enough effort. If I do pull that pin eventually, there will not be regret for lack of trying on my part. It will be hers that I regret.

SayuriKitsune · 2025-05-13T11:28:15+00:00

nope, It was the right choice every time

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-05-13T19:02:06+00:00

No not at all. If I have stayed with my first husband my children would of gone through hell and I would not of met my current husband

midnight_blue77 · 2025-05-14T04:00:17+00:00

No, when I broke up with my first gf it sucked but I was glad it was over because there were a ton of problems. She started to become a different person, more calculating and manipulative when she wasn't like that at all. She became more sarcastic and snarky and had a general bad mood about her which just sucked all the life and fun out of any environment she was on, and then we started arguing a lot about meaningless crap it just started to drive me insane. I just felt like I really did not want to be with her anymore so when we had our last fight and she started to talk about wasting her potential and her time with me I said maybe we should just break up, she agreed and then just ghosted me. I never tried to call her back or anything and deleted her out of all my contacts.

Latter mutual friends told me about how much trash she talked about me and how she hated me for not even trying to "fight for her," whatever that means.

That's what got my attention about this post. How was I ever supposed to "fight for her" when she transformed into a different person? How do you fight for someone that instigates fights over meaningless and trivial crap that doesn't matter? So I don't feel that I should have fought harder. I feel that getting in a relationship with her was a huge mistake to begin with.

ErwinHeisenberg · 2025-05-24T22:36:28+00:00

No fuckin’ way. If anything, I regret not leaving my marriage sooner.

RealityCold4693 · 2025-05-12T02:09:30+00:00

Ask women this directly and then ask men and watch the difference

Title	To all: Have you ever broken up/divorced and then the aftermath it made you feel that "I should have fought harder in that relationship/marriage"?
Author	ihaten_blank_er
Upvotes	4
Comments	33
Date	May 11, 2025 8:33 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1kjwb9a/to_all_have_you_ever_broken_updivorced_and_then/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/to-all-have-you-ever-broken-updivorced-and-then.1551931 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551931

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