A large amount of women who want LTRs don’t actually like them in practice

And to start off, men who want families often don’t like them in practice as well. So despite being a gendered dynamic, I think there still is a degree of symmetry on the issue.

But the primary issue is simply the notion that most people get what they deserve in the long run and for a lot of women, what they “deserve” is never enough for them.

As a result, a lot of “hypergamy” is actually just serial monogamy. We vastly overestimate the amount of women who have the ability to be hypergamous for than just a small window of their life. Most of what we perceive to be hypergamy is just women being dissatisfied with a relationship then leaving when she think she can get a better one by switching partners.

The reality is that she is deluded that her partner was the issue why she was dissatisfied in the first place. She’s effectively someone who can’t climb the ladder in her career but tries to climb by job hopping when she still needs put effort into her current post. She’s the girl who will scoff at an ex getting married to his next partner and will fail to realize that this man invests more in this woman because that woman invested more in him. These women don’t realize that they could have had the relationship they wanted if they simply had invested more in their previous relationships. They fail to see how they are getting what they deserve so they chase the dragon via serial monogamy.

They often will make up reasons to themselves why their previous relationships didn’t satisfy them by creating a laundry list of their previous partners flaws then use that as a filter to vet future partners when in reality it’s just a fools errand. As a result, their serial monogamy sets them up for a stream of increasingly superficial/transactional relationships and a deprogramming of their own personal sense of romantic and emotional intimacy as a shield for them to blindly seek out their arbitrary criteria without having their “judgement” be clouded by attachment when it is the lack of authentic attachment that will doom all her future relationships in the first place.

And when these women give up after a string of failed relationships, they will use sexism as a way to rationalize their dating failure just like an incel (so there’s some symmetry again).