Where any of you able to keep your house?

VegasZac · 2025-10-05T23:29:24+00:00

I did. Ex was a SAHM. She couldn’t afford to buy me out, and she agreed to a delayed buyout from me over several years (house had appreciated $100k in the 5 years since bought). I may have been dumber than a rock choosing to marry her, but at least I was smart enough to only put the mortgage in my name, which meant keeping my 2.9% rate. Wouldn’t have worked otherwise. It was the only way to keep the kids in the neighborhood with their friends and schools.

jimsmythee · 2025-10-05T21:14:46+00:00

I was able to keep my house.

Back when I was just dating my now exwife, I put a contract for a new build house. I sold off my old house and planned to use the proceeds to put a down payment on the new house, buy a car and new furniture.

There was a delay in getting the final closing on the house and by them, we were married. The bank that was doing the mortgage gave 2 options; "Either she signs a deed disclaimer, or we have to re-do the loan at a higher interest rate. She signed the deed disclaimer.

Fast forward 10 years we are getting divorced. She was screaming at me to put her name on the deed. I refused.

At divorce trial, she demanded 50% of the equity of the house and she argued that my down payment was a "gift to the marital community." I said "deed disclaimer so no!" Since marital funds were used to pay on that mortgage, I offered to return to her 50% of the mortgage reduction from day 1 until I separated. The judge agreed with me.

engineered-chemistry · 2025-10-05T02:38:07+00:00

Ex was super underemployed. She got the $1M house and I pay spousal support to cover the mortgage plus child support. Could have been permanent support too. Fuck the law is stacked against men hardcore.

BahamaDon · 2025-10-04T19:21:54+00:00

Judge kicked my crazy wife out of the house until it was sold because she was disrupting the development of the children by being crazy and violent toward me and specifically my daughter.

GodOfMuayThai · 2025-10-04T19:07:57+00:00

Man reading this makes me NOT want to do the whole provider gimmick at all.

Reddit_P2E_Seeker · 2025-10-04T14:57:29+00:00

Kept mine solely because her name wasn't on the mortgage and she couldn't afford to buy my share. She has plans to until the lawyer explained those facts to her.

Personal_Signal_6151 · 2025-10-04T11:51:32+00:00

Did you sign an affidavit of support when you sponsored her? Talk to an immigration lawyer about this. It could result in ten years of support.

Far-Government3551 · 2025-10-04T10:32:11+00:00

I’m keeping my condo. She paid very little for the down payment I made every mortgage payment. I can’t refinance and she’s staying on the loan. And agreed to 15% of the gained equity over the purchase price when I sell. I got lucky

superman_410 · 2025-10-04T09:07:45+00:00

I got mine buddy, had to refinance it out of her name tho

PragmaticTactics · 2025-10-04T04:57:40+00:00

If you lived in NY you would of been fine, does your prenuptial outline the house you love in as joint?

I think FL is a community property state..

Techdude_Advanced · 2025-10-04T04:55:16+00:00

I bought her out and kept the house. She also took the savings we had so yeah I'm still recovering financially but much happier. The funny part is she's still miserable after all of this.

Prozacalack · 2025-10-04T04:30:22+00:00

I kept the house. Paid her out using my savings. I now have all the home equity…and way less savings.

Roopesh80 · 2025-10-04T04:20:28+00:00

I bought my house in the name of my parents, so i didnt lose that... I bought it in their name for tax purposes, didn't know it would be a blessing in disguise at the time of divorce....

Plastic_Canary_6637 · 2025-10-04T03:49:55+00:00

I kept the house. It’s really just a math problem. She clearly can’t afford to keep the house so it’s up to you. Can you afford to buy her out? If so you keep the house, if not it gets sold. Not too complicated

Isthisthereddits · 2025-10-04T03:44:32+00:00

I bought a house while married. I word it that way, because it was my savings that put 40k down. To keep the house I would have had to find another 20k. Add in that I was only in the state due to my ex's education as we moved so she could be a full time PhD student. So we ended up selling. To keep from spending it all in courts and ending things as swiftly as possible we went no contest and I begrudgingly gave up 50% of the house, over 50% of physical assets within the home, and the one that hurt most was one of my dogs that she originally said she wouldn't take. However during the process she quickly leaned towards reminding me of everything she claimed she was entitled to. It's messy, but I wish you the best of luck. Don't blow all of your money in courts if you can get more ending it quick and quiet so that you have funds to rebuild your life and bounce back quicker.

NOT-packers-fan2022 · 2025-10-04T02:56:41+00:00

I had the very special circumstances of no equity available. We (meaning ME) would’ve had to pay out of pocket to cover closing costs. So I kept the house in the fall of 19. Then Covid happened and housing prices exploded for some reason. Went from 260 to 400 with i sold in 23.

You “might” be in the perfect spot given market conditions. Go to a realtor for an assessment and ask what you could get for your house. If you walk away with dam near zero and can show her attorney there is no equity, it might work out. I’d move fast. I’d Trump can fire that one Fed chair (this is bullshit but likely to happen) then the housing market could take a huge bounce due to low interest rates (cuts made by the trumper). That could hurt you. Speak to a realtor like tomorrow. If the numbers look good, speak to a lawyer on Monday.

Quaddro21 · 2025-10-04T02:50:10+00:00

I am in the process of finalizing a refinance as is required to take her off the mortgage. I’ll be doing a cash out also to pay her portion. It’s going to be tough sledding for a few years, but for my 2 kids and to keep some consistency, it’s a price I’m willing to pay

Spared-No-Expense · 2025-10-04T02:37:26+00:00

I took out a HELOC to pay her half of the house equity, both so I could keep it and also to reduce the amount of sudden change in our children’s lives. So now, instead of one mortgage-sized payment, I have three. (mortgage, HELOC, and monthly alimony).

old_and_weak · 2025-10-04T02:18:25+00:00

Recently separated from my wife. We have two houses, the primary one and then a rental. The primary has about 4x the equity in it as the rental. As I have our son Mon-Fri, I am in our primary with our son, my wife moved into the rental.

We both own both houses 50/50 under CA law. I’ve crunched the numbers, and to buy her out of the primary, I would have to come up with a big number.

The benefit of keeping the primary, other than obviously it’s our son’s primary home, is it’s at an absurd 1.99% 15-year mortgage that will be paid off in 2036.

Options as far as I can calculate: 1) sell the primary, and take 50% of the proceeds + half of my share of the equity in the rental and downside to a condo, OR

2) split our liquid assets like 90/10 in her favor + shift a large chunk of my 401k to her.

I’m leaning towards the latter, considering the current mortgage, but I go back and forth

Fawn001 · 2025-10-04T02:03:31+00:00

Id do everything you reasonably can to salvage the relationship with an emphasis on reasonable. Its a balance between bring a patsy and a prick. But also work on yourself, so you can be a better dad, self love and thenna better partner. If seperating is still the best option, then it wont destroy you as bad as it can.

Confident-Insurance6 · 2025-10-04T01:34:25+00:00

I’m trying to force a sale because neither of us can buy out the other

Intelligent-Row-6573 · 2025-10-04T00:59:58+00:00

I think you should work on your emotional intelligence and try to keep your relationship alive. Y'all are married, so .. you know.. kinda tied at the hip.

Useful-Contact-2597 · 2025-10-04T00:43:19+00:00

Nope. I hate that she is keeping my house.

thriller1122 · 2025-10-04T00:24:40+00:00

If you bought that house together, she owns 50% of it and you’ll have to pay her the share of equity that belongs to her.

Title	Where any of you able to keep your house?
Author	OldConference9534
Upvotes	15
Comments	46
Date	October 4, 2025 12:11 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1nxfhyd/where_any_of_you_able_to_keep_your_house/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/where-any-of-you-able-to-keep-your-house.1563399 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563399

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