She said she’ll text me next week - is this usually a soft no, or am I overthinking?

RasputinRuskiLoveBot · 2026-01-17T16:14:36+00:00

IMHO, if you leave it up to them to reach out then there's a very good chance they won't.

If they delay, postpone twice in a row I just tell her to "let me know when she's available" on very rare occasions they do text back but in most cases they won't.

thecaveman08 · 2026-01-17T16:16:04+00:00

I had a similar experience once. I met a girl in a relaxed outdoor setting, we talked, had a beer, walked around, and she gave me her number. A few days later I reached out to see if she wanted to meet, and she was kind and said she’d love to. We picked a day, but when it arrived she said she was busy and maybe another time. I checked in again, and she mentioned being busy over the weekend and possibly next week. We talked a little after that, but meeting didn’t really come up again, so I took it as a sign and let it be.

I really hope it goes well for you. And if she keeps making excuses as the day to meet comes closer, it’s usually kinder to yourself to let it go and move on.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-01-17T16:37:13+00:00

When this happens, you need to match and mirror her behavior which in this case it means you prioritize her less (not necessarily to shut the door) and talk to new girls and going out on dates with those other girls.

You don't put all your eggs in one basket, you keep your options open and date others who have more time for you. If she loses you to those girls eventually then that's her problem for not prioritizing you more earlier.

So yes it is low interest, which is why you need to do the multi-dating approach as a solution to low interest girls or girls who are not "fuck yes" about you.

Dating multiple people, not commingling to any of them, unless things get serious with a particular one, and always evaluating who deserves more or less priority depending on their level of effort and investment.

So it's not about going for one exclusively wanting closure and then another one exclusively as if you are going one by one. It's about keeping your options open, exploring multiple girls at the same time.

pickupmid123 · 2026-01-17T16:54:16+00:00

First there’s no need to change platforms. You’re just increasing friction with no real benefit.

Second if you did a good job sparking attraction on the meetup, she will reach out. If she doesn’t it’s just a sign you need to keep working on your game. No harm in reaching out in two weeks.

Most importantly, these problems are always solved with an abundance mindset. Just meet new women constantly, approach and flirt. Pump those numbers up and never get hung up on a girl you met once

A1Horizon · 2026-01-17T16:40:43+00:00

Just see what happens tbh. Keep searching in the mean time, if you get a text, great, if you don’t, at least you didn’t sit around waiting for a week

Pycnostyle · 2026-01-17T19:22:03+00:00

Nobody here can read this chick's mind, but it's 90% a soft no. If she were interested in you, she'd make time to get a coffee with you.

I'm also a little confused why you went from a hike to a coffee date. That's a de-escalation, no? Why not invite her to something you might both enjoy, based on your conversation on the hike? Or at least something that's a bit more "you"? Something to keep in mind for the next chick.

If she texts you next week, great! But don't count on it. Keep approaching other chicks. If she doesn't, and you want to try again with her, don't bring up that she flaked on you. Just say something like, "Hey, saw XYZ was happening and I thought of how we both like XYZ. Wanna do XYZ with me?"

what595654 · 2026-01-17T16:47:06+00:00

This person gave you the best advice:

Just see what happens tbh. Keep searching in the mean time, if you get a text, great, if you don’t, at least you didn’t sit around waiting for a week

If you don't want to come across as desperate, or needy, then don't. Imagine she may be dating other people in the mean time. Are you?

RedPillAlphaBigCock · 2026-01-17T16:54:01+00:00

There is no harm in reaching out . It’s going to be a NO by default if you leave it . People are busy . Use judgement and don’t be needy but it’s PERFECTLY OK to reach out

macroxela · 2026-01-17T17:17:54+00:00

You're overthinking it. Some women will say something similar to what she said and never follow up. Others will keep their word and text you when they said they would. In my experience, the latter are not as common but always led to good relationships or at least a fun and healthy dating experience. Just keep living your life and don't think about it. If she doesn't text you by the end of next week, you can send her a quick reminder or just move on.

PostAvailable9966 · 2026-01-17T19:46:38+00:00

The issue begins with your expectations of her. This is closer to obsession than it should be.

It is not weather she will reply or not, it is more that you should care less -> for your own mental wellbeing

random_question4123 · 2026-01-17T20:37:07+00:00

The way I see it - don't put yourself in a situation where you're depending on a woman to move things forward. Unless she's very interested in you or feels some type of obligation to you, the base case expectation is that she wouldn't.

For me, I only leave it in a woman's hands if she's cancelled already in the past and is giving mixed signals. At that point, I wash my hands clean and leave the ball in her court.

If you're interested in her, you should pursue her and take matters into your own hands. Otherwise, she won't do it for you.

PrinceDestin · 2026-01-17T23:35:20+00:00

It’s a soft no if she doesn’t text you

Human-Arachnid-2592 · 2026-01-18T12:22:18+00:00

She doesn't have a high interest in you. Forget her and find another woman.

WhoCaresAnyway83 · 2026-01-18T12:37:54+00:00

Who cares, move on to the next

Tensti · 2026-01-18T19:52:30+00:00

one girl told me after i ask her out, she said i will tell you when i have free time, its been 1 year now xD

No-Success-2918 · 2026-01-17T18:55:07+00:00

SHE DON'T WANT YOU.... otherwise she would've offered a different date after not being available for the date you suggested.

msgs · 2026-01-17T17:54:53+00:00

I don't want to come across has harsh but you're looking at this in the wrong way.

You had an hour long period to cultivate mutual attraction with her and you didn't generate enough in that conversation for her to be interested in you as someone she would date or fuck, etc. Women will move heaven and earth to spend more time with you if they are very attracted. If they aren't, you get these type of responses. Everything in aftermath of this is a waste of your time.

Focusing on this will get better results.

Witty_Combination493 · 2026-01-17T20:00:45+00:00

Nah dude. Leave the ball in her court. If she's interested, she will show that and get ahold of you. I've learned from these situations many times.

Carry on with your life and leave it up to her to get ahold of you, if she does, great! If not, you're no worse off than you are now.

IamaThrowAwway · 2026-01-17T16:32:10+00:00

It's a no.

ChicoBrillo · 2026-01-17T18:03:37+00:00

You should get her on your preferred platform from the beginning, why ask for insta and then ask for whatsapp later? You're already talking to her, just say it there. (this is kind of minor but worth improving)

Like other commenters mentioned, I wouldn't count on her making the move, that's pretty much always going to be on us.

Just be casual, don't try to lock her in too hard to a set date (i know this feels like the logical thing to do but you want to come off chill). Just offer meet ups casually with very take it or leave it energy.

For example. "Hey, I have some free time tomorrow from like 12-2. Do you want to get lunch?" If she says no, it's fine, it was a casual plan, you can just ask her out again some time.

Now, if you get to like 3 rejections, then it's time to move on, but in these initial phases I think it's really important to come off casual and not overly invested.

confused_8357 · 2026-01-17T21:01:23+00:00

Next time be more direct and compliment her and ask for drinks /coffee whatever

None of this drama will happen if u keep intentions clear

Also better to ask her out in person than text

FearInoculumTool · 2026-01-17T21:10:06+00:00

This is hard to interpret because we don’t really know how your interactions went before that. Did you flirt, was there a lot of banter? Ball busting? Or did you talk about your favorite hikes and how to deal with blisters from poor hiking shoes?

If the latter, that’s not very sexy. Secondly, the way you asked her out was very weak. You don’t come across as a take charge type of guy. Stop trying to be so nice and pleasing to women, asking them if they want to grab a drink maybe sometime. You need to be more direct. You could have texted her: “hey, it’s Bob from the hike. Let’s go out.”

She never gets a text like this. When she says okay, just tell her “I can do Tuesday or Thursday, 7pm at this cocktail bar on Sutton Ave and 7th.”

Then let her choose one of the dates. Stop worrying about her availability, where she lives, blah blah blah. If she says she’s not available but can do Friday, it’s probably best to say you can’t do it (you already told her Tuesday and Thursday are your only free days so you don’t want to seem to eager and accommodating), but let’s look at next week. If she says “oh, that bar is like an hour away from me”, then it’s okay to plan something that’s closer to both of you.

But you need to take charge and stop asking her to lead.

Moe_be_flying · 2026-01-17T21:44:42+00:00

Am scared lmaoooo Describe anna for me, she may be my ex no joke

professionalfumblr · 2026-01-17T23:08:36+00:00

Yeah it’s a no

cemj86 · 2026-01-17T23:21:44+00:00

Bro in reality it doesn't matter, and I pray you're not sitting on your thumbs waiting. I just don't save their numbers. Let it go until it happens, or not!

It's not a no, it's what she says until you find out otherwise.

MrMetraGnome · 2026-01-17T23:30:49+00:00

Yeah, it's a wrap

Thierr · 2026-01-18T12:21:33+00:00

It could be either. There's no magical answer.

I'd say wait a good week, and if she doesnt reach out by then, you COULD drop 1 more message but then completely drop it

It also feels a bit more like for her its just friends, not romantic. But same could be said for you.

Joyswain · 2026-01-18T22:09:06+00:00

There's no way of knowing the answer to your question. You'll have to wait and see...

Particular_Visual531 · 2026-01-21T00:46:55+00:00

I don't know the circumstances so its hard to say. If she and you had a great date and she's studying for her bar exam or something like that, then this makes sense. If you have not connected/dated and she says this without a pretty good excuse I would imagine that its dying fast. What would i do? If I liked her I would wait 3-4 days and send a specific invite to an event like this:

"Hey, there is a R&B band that I really like playing next friday at 8pm at Joe's Tavern. I remembered that you like R&B. Lets meet there at 7pm so we can get a good seat and a few drinks before the band starts."

This will clearly identify if she wants to spend time with you. She'll say 1) yes, or 2) no I can't make it but lets do something another time, or 3) any other response means she's not interested and you move on.

Word it exactly like I did, its presumptive but that's the point, its strong and confident, shows that you listened to her, and really effective. When I started wording my invites like this my yes response went from 50%ish to 80%ish. And it really helps identify not interested from those that are busy the day of the invite with how they response back.

Mission-Fly-4371 · 2026-01-17T16:47:58+00:00

It's a no go brother

cmHend · 2026-01-17T19:45:11+00:00

IMHO, coffee = boring date for someone I talked to on a hike. Hence have other priorities, hence flake.

Shadow__Account · 2026-01-17T16:44:20+00:00

It means she is def not in the category that is really into you. So for a serious relationship it means move on.

BumblebeeHuman5699 · 2026-01-17T16:13:08+00:00

Bro, touch some grass

Title	She said she’ll text me next week - is this usually a soft no, or am I overthinking?
Author	FrozenOppressor
Upvotes	43
Comments	78
Date	January 17, 2026 4:03 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1qfgyyo/she_said_shell_text_me_next_week_is_this_usually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/she-said-shell-text-me-next-week-is-this-usually-a.1571362 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571362

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