Would you invest more on your second marriage? Why?

swomismybitch · 2026-04-10T15:06:29+00:00

I wouldn't have got married the second time except it made life a whole lot easier as we are of different nationalities and the immigration issues (both ways) become easier with marriage. 24+ years later no regrets.

Candidate_Worldly · 2026-04-09T11:59:03+00:00

Get married again? When fail rates are around 70% for second marriages? Madness.

UrAristotle · 2026-04-09T11:24:14+00:00

I’ve been married twice.

First one was 3 years. No kids. She cheated. I kicked her out.

Second one was 18 years. 2 kids. She cheated. I tried to keep the marriage to not disrupt my children’s life. She left anyway.

I’m not interested in a 3rd marriage.

mesi130 · 2026-04-09T09:01:49+00:00

I made the mistake of marrying a second time after being single for ten years after the first divorce. I guess I didn’t learn anything because I got the same result. I’d be reluctant to even live with anyone again.

DadVader77 · 2026-04-09T07:33:39+00:00

Nope. Not making the same mistake twice

funnyman6979 · 2026-04-09T02:22:34+00:00

I read once a second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience. I had such a miserable experience the first time including having children with that person I wanted to have the “correct” experience. But I got into this 21 years ago damaged from marriage one , married someone much younger but we are still together and it takes work. I have no regrets about remarrying. It was at the time a very hard decision especially when my older daughter was 10 when I met my current wife she’s now 35. While I wish we l could just get along sadly my son in his own words was or is collateral damage.

Summary, it’s been great it’s been work, but I am also without fear if something stupid would happen I’ll be fine.

Beamformer · 2026-04-09T01:34:37+00:00

Never marry, thats the only lesson

Terrible_Lift · 2026-04-09T01:19:59+00:00

We’re in NO rush to marry, but I’ve been seeing someone for over a year. We’re STILL (my demon ex) fighting and finalizing a long ass contentious divorce that started almost 2 years ago.

But what’s automatically different is that she makes me a better man. Not through fighting or pestering me much, mostly by just being an example. What I mean is, she has helped me become more organized, more on time, better with budgeting, lovingly encouraged me when I said I wanted to seek help and a diagnosis for my mental health (life changing), and continues to have a positive influence on me even this far in. I stay there often, at her house, as I’m renting until I get my buyout check. But my lease is up in June, and we’re going to live together. I’m sure things will change and we’re going to have some bumps in the road, but I’m also sure that she’s worth working through them for and I’m sure she’ll continue to have a positive impact on me overall.

She brings a lot of peace to my tormented soul. I give her lots of affection and appreciation. She won’t just start withholding sex, and we have common interests. Most importantly, I love her.

So yes, if we get married I certainly will. Because she makes me want to be better. My ex made me want to be alone and left in peace. The alternative seemed only to be fighting or belittlement. Usually a nice even combo of both.

I think that’s worth investing more into. The scenario I may have vs the one I came from

IrresponsibleInsect · 2026-04-08T23:46:14+00:00

Invest more in that prenump son!

halfwayfromatob · 2026-04-08T23:21:56+00:00

A 2nd marriage is for fools

NigelBraxton · 2026-04-08T22:59:09+00:00

I leaned that when a woman says she’s done, she’s done. I tried to end it several times before she finally cracked and left me. Communication goes both ways and I will not be opening my next relationship, married or not. I’m just not a sharing typa guy.

My current girlfriend is completely different from my ex wife. It’s like the universe sent her to me when I needed her. Would I remarry, yes.

I would also invest more into the second marriage. Someone that sees me and my flaws is worth my whole heart and beyond.

McDrewby24 · 2026-04-08T21:47:55+00:00

I learned that without healthy and consistent communication, the marriage is extremely at risk. I also learned that boundaries and red flags should not be avoided. I’m not at the stage right now to even consider a relationship yet, never mind a second marriage. But to be honest, the first marriage really ruined the idea of marriage to me anyways.

Legitimate-Error-633 · 2026-04-08T21:39:32+00:00

I want to find someone who likes me just as much as I like them. Someone who communicates openly.

Also giving up on the concept of finding ‘the one’.

Any red flags regarding past infidelity are a hard no. I don’t care what your reasons were. I never want to go through that crap again.

kdthex01 · 2026-04-08T21:26:47+00:00

Learned: Divorce law is cruelly unfair when there is a disparity of income.

Differences: Higher income women come with a different set of challenges.

Would I invest more in second: Nope. Will never get married again.

engineered-chemistry · 2026-04-08T21:09:25+00:00

I’m open to investing my time and emotions in a woman that reciprocates evenly. Someone I enjoy spending time with and laugh a lot. Financially, I only date women that are self-sufficient. I have no interest in signing a contract again to get stuffed financially.

PghSubie · 2026-04-08T20:54:35+00:00

I got divorced. Was single for ~9 years. Got engaged and married again. I paid attention to different behaviors as red flags. But, I'm all in for the second marriage. I'm still ecstatic with my choice in women this time. Second wife is amazing still. Have been married over a decade, which is longer than first marriage. Have a good friend who is also still happily married in his second marriage after almost a decade.

ExtraLettuce555 · 2026-04-08T20:51:30+00:00

The hardest lesson is that I need to do occasional relationship check ins. Because they don’t always say anything when they’re unhappy. My lawyer said the guy is the last person to know (true) and my middle aged female divorced therapist said that it’s not fair but staying quiet is just something some women do.

Ok_Business5507 · 2026-04-08T20:37:58+00:00

I did invest everything in my second marriage. It was awesome until the moment she died in my arms.

TopSwagCode · 2026-04-08T20:37:36+00:00

Nope. Played the hand I was dealt. Did everything I could. Regret nothing, only that she didnt want to to get outside help at least for the sake of our son.

falcon0221 · 2026-04-08T20:28:54+00:00

Nope, she destroyed what little faith I had in humanity. I don’t trust anyone to do right by me.

DeedIndeed · 2026-04-08T20:13:38+00:00

I’m a frickin helpless romantic. I love the company of a woman.

So would I get married again? Nope. 😂

I’m still in divorce process from first, so I’m fresh and biased. It’s been over a year and 3 months into the process and not even close to a hearing.

I’ve dated a woman for a couple months. Great woman. Met a lot of great women. I’m not marrying again. I have two incredible kids, and I’m just prioritizing our home and life navigating this - they don’t know I am dating other women.

Il_Valentino · 2026-04-08T19:56:45+00:00

if i have learned anything from people's divorce stories then to not fall for the same trap again

Puzzleheaded-Loan238 · 2026-04-08T19:22:58+00:00

Can think of a single reason I can ever agree to, that would make me get married again. So no.

TeddyPSmith · 2026-04-08T19:21:45+00:00

I tried a second marriage and that’s why I’m here now. I thought I learned so much from my first marriage. What I learned was to not rock the boat, happy wife-happy life, and all the rest. I accepted more than many other men would with regards to her kids, finances, work travel, and boss b___h attitude. In the end, she left.

Today im glad she left. Yesterday i was crying. I think in a year or so i will be much better off.

But she took away my mulligan. I’m not going to be a three-wife guy

krazykanuck · 2026-04-08T19:21:23+00:00

What do you mean by “would you invest more…”? I dont understand.

EmbarrassedAge7612 · 2026-04-08T19:21:16+00:00

What did you learn from your first marriage?

I learned to trust my gut. Sometimes things are exactly as they seem. I learned to put everything out on the table. Honest and open conversation about any topic is better than going along to get along.

Have you seen any differences on the second woman that you would remarry?

Everything is different. We talk about everything. Always on the same page. We can disagree but it doesn’t mean we have to fight. We actually enjoy spending time together. In our first 6 months of dating we had sex more than I did in 17 total years with my ex. Going into year 9 together, we’re still doing it 4-5 days a week.

Would you invest more on your second marriage and why?

I have. Honestly her engagement ring what way more expensive than my ex’s. I also picked it on my own, I knew her style and found something that I truly wanted to get her. I also had the means to do something like that. I’ve definitely put more energy and time into this one.

I found misery early in my first marriage and it just never got better. I was young and dumb and my parents had a horrible marriage, so I honestly thought that’s what it was about. Currently I couldn’t ask for a better partner. It’s cliche, but she truly completes me.

Federal_Repair1094 · 2026-04-08T19:19:12+00:00

The likelihood of a second marriage is so low I don’t think I have to worry about. But if I did find the one that I would get married again for I’d be very invested as a husband should be.

No_Chemistry8953 · 2026-04-08T19:15:34+00:00

At the moment, my trust is broken. I am only 6 months in separation and the whole divorce process has not even started yet. I cannot see myself ever trusting another woman with my heart after the sheer depth of the betrayals from my ex. I invested everything into that woman and all she ever did was use and use until I am now a broken shell of a man. She completely used me up and then just walked away.

Title	Would you invest more on your second marriage? Why?
Author	Left-Ad-7646
Upvotes	6
Comments	48
Date	April 8, 2026 6:58 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1sg21lq/would_you_invest_more_on_your_second_marriage_why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/would-you-invest-more-on-your-second-marriage-why.1577465 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577465

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