How often do you want to go on dates in a month?

ConstantSample5846 · 2026-05-20T02:27:00+00:00

Tbf I don’t think the majority of women that comment in this subreddit are the type of women that demand being a stay at home partner with x amount of perks…

oppositegeneva · 2026-05-20T02:09:56+00:00

I’m a SAHM of 3 kids, 2 under 2

This is above and beyond of what I want personally (I’m more of a homebody tho)

I feel blessed I get a nice date night once a month , a fancy restaurant on special occasions (birthday’s, anniversary) and 2-3 vacations every year.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2026-05-20T02:15:54+00:00

Idk, that seems a bit much? But I'm of the belief that dates/outings/etc. are more meaningful when they're unexpected.

If it has a cadence it's not something to look forward to, it's become just another chore.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-05-20T03:11:27+00:00

That’s a lot for me. I’d love the being with my partner one on one. Going out. Making effort for each other. But the expensive part bothers me a bit. I’ve never really had “fuck you” money.

Tess27795 · 2026-05-20T02:19:27+00:00

It depends on what you can afford. You have to do the savings and retirement stuff first. Then you have money put aside for outings. I think one dinner a month and some reasonable outings are good. Do a picnic or a hike, they are inexpensive but can be as enjoyable as a dinner date.

If you become a LTR, you both should discuss what your long term goals are. Would both of you rather save for holidays? Can you do all you want. Money is always the driver and both of you being fair to each other is what works for the relationship.

toad-wrangler · 2026-05-20T02:41:33+00:00

I think that is going to depend on her personal preference, personality and time constraints. There isn't a right amount to measure by.

ihatesmelly · 2026-05-20T03:15:12+00:00

Honestly my ex and I aimed for once a week - and nothing fancy, we would just go get dinner or ice cream somewhere, sometimes watch a movie if we could afford that in our fun money, or take my dog to the park. We went on 3 holidays in our 3 years - I aim for a holiday every 6-8 months but it wasn’t practical in our first 1.5 years.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2026-05-20T03:21:03+00:00

Not a SAHM, but a mom

I think baby-free time on any budget matters way more than how much money is spent on the date. We left my son with his grandparents for a few days when he was 6 mo while we went on a trip. It wasn’t anything crazy, we just drove to the beach a few states away but it was very much needed to avoid a nervous breakdown on my part.

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2026-05-20T17:58:52+00:00

I think there was something like 333 some years ago or maybe 222,

ate night every 2-3 weeks, weekend trip every 2-3 months, big week long vacation every 2-3 years, so yeah what your saying still sounds reasonable for building a relationship.

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PlantRake · 2026-05-20T03:05:35+00:00

I am a SAHM. Travel depends on the kids ages. We don’t plan to travel until our daughter is 1.5 especially not internationally any time soon. Maybe 1–2 trips a year within the country. We also rarely eat out since I prefer making food at home to our taste. Most of our “dating” is pretty simple: walks at the park with friends, picnicking, church events, gaming at home, gym, and volunteering. I want to spend time together daily if possible. I actually prefer our routine over the one described in your OP.

Fragrant-Half-7854 · 2026-05-20T03:33:59+00:00

Married 34 years, 7 kids. I would recommend a weekly date night and a weekend away at least every other month.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-05-20T03:43:50+00:00

If I was staying at home, I’d just want to be able to go do my own thing every now and then and maybe get dinner and see a movie with my partner every now and then. An expensive night out is nice once in a while, but I also value financial stability and if we were living off one income I’d prefer that we stayed within budget as much as possible.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2026-05-20T04:09:56+00:00

I don't need expensive dates and outings, but I do like going out. Trying out a new cafe or small restaurant sounds great to me. Doesn't have to be every week, but once or twice a month would be nice. And if I'm stuck at home with a baby, I'd need to go out and spend time away from mom duties to feel normal.

I was a sahw for a bit, hated it. I felt extremely isolated and like I wasn't doing much with my life.

WebBorn2622 · 2026-05-20T04:45:56+00:00

I wouldn’t want to be a stay at home mom. But if I was then I would enjoy that- yes

AngeAware · 2026-05-20T04:57:35+00:00

It varies a lot for me. Some months there are a ton of new restaurants or attractions I want to go to and others I just want to stay in at one of our places and play games or watch movies or binge shows with him for several weekends in a row, maybe order in pizza or sushi. There might be months where I want to dress up and be cute and go out a lot and ones where I just want to dress down and not worry about any of that.

They're all wonderful dates in my book, just different kinds.

One longer trip per year either abroad or domestic is more than enough for me. I do start to miss home even on the best vacations.

kmb218 · 2026-05-20T07:57:33+00:00

It’s very hard to imagine this situation since I am not a stay at home mom. I go on 1-2 inexpensive vacations per year and 1-4 inexpensive day trips. For outings / doing things outside of the house, I do about 2-4 per week (inexpensive). I imagine as a stay at home mom, I wouldn’t have time for that. Once I start earning more, I might move on to more expensive vacations or outings.

QuestioningThink · 2026-05-20T08:34:34+00:00

That’s not enough for me to consider being a stay a home mom.

b_berry458 · 2026-05-20T08:35:12+00:00

You had me at paid off house. Joking but maybe not.. in most of Australia that would make you likely a millionaire or near it!

Prior-Impression-871 · 2026-05-20T10:43:25+00:00

Too much for me, but I do work and I intend to keep working. Maybe a SAHM would feel like getting out more

No-Hunt-6123 · 2026-05-20T22:06:42+00:00

I think she would be fine with that if you’re covering her expenses

ChadChasingBReturns · 2026-05-21T19:16:25+00:00

My husband is a stay at home dad. We try to have date nights once a week. We go on little trips every 2-3 months for a roughly 10 days to 2 weeks and we go on day trips probably once a month. It’s also very important for a stay at home parent to have their alone time away from you and the kids. I encourage my husband to go out with his friends probably twice a week. Everyone needs to have a life and identity outside of their family.

theminxisback · 2026-05-22T18:05:12+00:00

I would rather it be the other way around. Stay at home dad and me being the one to do what you described.

Because that's literally what I already do...

Although. I also give them a monthly allowance.

anna_alabama · 2026-05-20T02:24:27+00:00

Everyone is different. Some comments are saying this is enough or too much, but this would be too little for me personally. I like to do a day trip/weekend getaway every week and multiple international vacations every year. So, it really depends on your specific relationship

ThatBitchA · 2026-05-20T02:22:33+00:00

Depends on the woman.

If I'm a SAHM, I want far more than that.

I'm not a SAHM, and I still get more than that. 😆😆😆

Some women will find it too much. Some women won't.

Also life ebbs and flows. So something like this isn't really going to be set in stone. It will need to be flexible, especially with kids. Especially with young kids.

ladybird_00 · 2026-05-20T02:20:28+00:00

Sounds like a lot lol

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