Can't do this anymore

Apapi42 · 2026-06-25T14:04:01+00:00

Her leaving should be your Woodstock!

feetnomer · 2026-06-24T04:10:22+00:00

My ex-girlfriend dated a black guy who had a big, big tool. He wrecked her often and she loved it. Then, she ended up with me. Mr. average who could barely wreck anything bigger than a thimble. I could never give her that wrecking she longed for. Trust me, it bothered me to no end.

atomicnugget202 · 2026-06-24T03:01:57+00:00

Bro you're depressed. Race don't matter and unfortunately she shouldn't matter to you either as hard as that is to come to terms with.

You're divorced she's living her life how she wants you do the same! You need to break your identity from being married & a husband to her and find out who you are! It'll be ugly at first but it'll get better!

HrdCorRob · 2026-06-24T02:39:34+00:00

If its any consolation, Im a black guy and she cheated on me with another black guy.

Its a SPECIFIC type of black guy they go for.

Its not us nerd types.

greenringrayner · 2026-06-24T00:34:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

retired337 · 2026-06-23T21:24:49+00:00

I understand. 28 years is a good chunk of your life. Yall grew up and took on life together. You’ll get through it. Don’t go over the edge with substance abuse or not taking care of your health. Granted it will leave a scar that will probably never heal. But now you can reinvent yourself. Do things you’re passionate about. Get out there and meet new people. Relocate to a new town. Take more trips. It may not be better but just different. Accept it, embrace it and move forward.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2026-06-23T19:02:51+00:00

No matter how beautiful a woman, some man is sick of her bullsh!t.

Mysterious-Art8838 · 2026-06-23T15:27:05+00:00

Maybe she just didn’t want to be married to a racist anymore.

WaitingForTheFire · 2026-06-23T13:29:52+00:00

It seems to me that you are focusing on the wrong things. Substance abuse ruins people’s lives. I think you’re going to need to take responsibility for your actions. That doesn’t mean giving up on life. But, it does mean that getting clean needs to be your first priority. Otherwise, everything that you have left is going to fall apart. You need a support system to help you get through your substance abuse and depression issues. Group therapy can do wonders. At this point, inpatient treatment might also be a good option for you. The help is out there if you are willing to ask for it. It’s a difficult issue to face, but you’ve got to take responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others.

koskesh122 · 2026-06-23T13:27:10+00:00

Well bud, join the club. 1. 50% of all marriages end in divorce. 2nd marriages have 60% divorce rate and 3rd marriages 70% divorce rate. 2. 90% of all divorces initiated by the women. • Child support, Alimony, your pension + retirement savings, government support + housing incentivizes them leaving you. 3. 90% of custody awarded to mothers. 4. False allegations of abuse are prevalent in family courts. • You will be called abusive in order to stress you out so you give in to their unjust demands.

What to do now? 1. Settle your case ASAP. • The leeches (Judges, Lawyers, Therapists, Legal system will want to bleed you dry by leveraging your kids against you) The system gets paid by you fighting for you children. 2. Find a hobby. 3. Focus on your career/start a side hustle/Make more money. 4. Hit the gym daily. 5. Stay away from SINGLE moms at ALL costs and anyone who claims their ex was abusive. Do NOT raise another man’s child. You may end up being on the hook financially (Child support) for their kid if you leave. 6. Travel once a year. 7. Read books like No More Mr. nice guy 8. Open up the New Testament and start reading daily + listen to Charles Stanely on YouTube. • Learn to forgive your ex. This will set you emotionally and mentally free so you can begin enjoying life once again.

FirelineJake · 2026-06-23T09:07:59+00:00

After 28 years, it's completely normal to feel like you've lost your footing. Don't make permanent decisions based on the worst chapter of your life, healing is slower than we want, but it's real.

OkJaguar5013 · 2026-06-23T05:58:31+00:00

The old self dies and a new man is born. Shape yourself. Might as well with the time and feelings you’re going to be having anyhow. We base our whole identities as committed, loving husbands and sacrifice ourselves to a point of naivety I’ve found. When we are stripped of the role we find ourselves empty but it’s just a title. Choose to live for yourself and become something greater. Let her see she was wrong. Take her off the pedestal and place yourself on there. The iron is hot my friend, pick up the hammer and get to work. I’ll pray for you. If you’re going to ruminate, do it while walking. 1-2 hours. You won’t be sleeping well for a while anyways. You got this

mgray1425 · 2026-06-23T05:39:28+00:00

Dude, I am fucking 61 years old. I have reinvented myself multiple times throughout the course of my life and you can too.

The part you are going through right now sucks ass. There is no better way to put it. Everything you described was an absolute shit show. No fucking questions there. Total bag of shit.

Life has got a lot of shit to teach you. Me, I had to figure out all out for myself No matter how many people told me the same shit. I could probably tell you all the secrets but you are young enough you need to figure it out for yourself. Good luck brother. Women are wonderful and painful. DM if you want to talk.

Nice_Cartoonist_8803 · 2026-06-23T03:47:52+00:00

The casual racism is lame, and you’re a teacher? Therapy is a good start.

Busy-Recipe9840 · 2026-06-23T03:16:45+00:00

I’m sorry for being unserious but I am black wondering wtf we do lol. Why even mention that?

burnerking · 2026-06-23T02:09:48+00:00

Exercise of any kind/ gym, walking, gardening, cycling, whatever keeps you moving a while, plenty of early to bed and early to rise, minimal alcohol(and in your current emotional state-ZERO). The hardest part is getting out, it by getting out it doesn’t mean to a bar. It means doing an activity. It may be the exercise, it may be something else: museums, cooking classes, volunteering. Anything that gets you around new faces and places. BUT the goal is not to find a partner, it’s to focus on yourself rediscover your self worth. Marriage sows codependency- and seeing your ex out here with another man (black, white, spent matter) wounding your pride because you don’t feel worthy. Heal yourself brother- as cliche as it sounds- it’s true. Find your new self, and take it slow, don’t rush it. Stay off social media and stay off the dating apps, seeing your ex and others out there with partners, and possibly not getting a ton of matches will not help you. Remember though, people post on social media what they want you know see- the reality is far different. And the apps-well women get an overwhelming amount of likes and a lot of decent men get lost in the shuffle.

Outside-Jicama-8468 · 2026-06-23T01:41:33+00:00

Don't give up. Don't let her win this battle. Survive. It will be tough, but nothing in life worth having is going to be easy. You will find peace.

My favorite song lyrics keeps me going daily.

Limp Bizkit - "I'd love to be the one to disappoint you when I don't fall down."

And on rough days...

Three Days Grace - "Everyday I'm just surviving, keep climbing the mountain"

She won this battle, don't give up and let her win the war.

troglodyteoflove · 2026-06-23T01:21:09+00:00

I have been where you are. My ex told me she wanted to go fuck young good looking guys (we were 35, together 18 years) and then come back and grow old together. Fuck that. She can grow old and depreciate. I have money and a house. Her condo was foreclosed on. You will come out better than her. We always do.

Rare_Psychology_8853 · 2026-06-23T01:14:36+00:00

Call the suicide hotline right now, this isn't a job for a reddit.

myxyplyxy · 2026-06-23T00:59:39+00:00

Rough. I was married 25. It has taken me 2-3 years to begin to recover. You can do it, but you are going to have to learn to sit with the pain. Don’t turn it to anger, or numb it or blame it on others. Just feel it all, that saps its power. And go to therapy.

nomad_nuggz · 2026-06-23T00:24:55+00:00

Don't become a statistic man. You want the pain to end and that's understandable only time and commitment to yourself can heal that. Focus on what's ahead. Take care of yourself by hitting the gym and eating right. Stay away from social media as its only going to make things worse. You're not allowed to give up, so many have come down the same path before you and come out better men for it. We love you and you NEED to keep fighting.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-06-23T00:02:03+00:00

You can go on without her. My wife left after 12 years and the three most beautiful kids ever…because nothing was good enough anymore. It’s been 8 months for me and I finally accepted it. Easier said than done, but go full ‘gray rock’ and keep active, try new things, do everything she held you back from. Give yourself grace and be patient, there’s no hurry, it’s not a race or competition. Good luck

Title	Can't do this anymore
Author	Wooden_Back_7900
Upvotes	16
Comments	55
Date	June 22, 2026 11:45 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ud10g6/cant_do_this_anymore/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/cant-do-this-anymore.1583412 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583412

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