How to show my ex-wife's new boyfriend that he has no authority over my children or me.

three-cups · 2026-07-02T21:39:21+00:00

This reads like ragebait to me. The answer is simple, let the other person do what they will. How do you want to respond. A pop in the jaw will solve nothing and only give this dude the knowledge that he owns you (because he has driven you to such an action).

DriftwoodGrove · 2026-07-02T21:27:33+00:00

Record him whenever you are in a public place and post it immediately on YouTube as part of your daily life channel. Win the public opinion.

EitherBedroom2341 · 2026-07-02T21:05:43+00:00

48 laws of power. Never let your enemies know your strength. Pretend to be weak. To let his guard down.

Significant_Koala_61 · 2026-07-02T20:48:40+00:00

Entice him to hit you first and then it’s self defence

stillanoobummkay · 2026-07-02T20:43:53+00:00

How much would it drive her crazy if you guys got along. If if you’re just faking it.

TheWritePrimate · 2026-07-02T20:41:39+00:00

Malicious compliance. Be obnoxiously nice and compliant anytime you have to interact with him. Just do whatever he asks (within reason) but be absurdly polite. Yes sir, right away sir. Whatever you need sir. Your wish is my command, kind of reactions.

Ignore him otherwise. He wants a reaction out of you. Be above it.

Just do your own thing otherwise.

BornMaybe9902 · 2026-07-02T20:31:56+00:00

[ Removed by Reddit ]

funnyman6979 · 2026-07-02T20:18:15+00:00

Take the high road, ends up being step dad, just continues onward until one day their relationship sinks too after 25 years. Trust me, it sucks like my Dad used to tell me she already had a good guy did you think she’d find another one.

jimsmythee · 2026-07-02T20:00:06+00:00

Best thing you can do is ignore him. Alpha males need to be noticed. They hate it when they get ignored.

If you ignore everything he says? Only talk to your exwife and your children. He will get so mad and stamp his little feet.

Sure you can punch him. He wants that. She wants that. Why? Because he will immediately call the police. You lose custody. She gets maximum CS dollars.

Zerofucks__ZeroChill · 2026-07-02T19:57:58+00:00

Don’t fucking resort to violence. I get it, it feels like the only way. I’ll tell you the same thing I told the last person this came up:

“That may be exactly what he wants. If you swing on him, suddenly you’re the “dangerous” one, and that can be used against you with custody.

Do not give him that. When he postures or tries to provoke you, laugh it off. Not a big dramatic laugh, just a small chuckle, like he’s embarrassing himself and not any kind of threat to you. People like that want you angry, threatened, or reactive. If you stay calm and make it clear he means nothing to you, he loses the payoff.

Keep your distance, document what happens, and let him be the aggressor on record. Your job is to not take the bait.”

ageoffri · 2026-07-02T19:53:24+00:00

The only way to put him in his place is to be civil. Document any problems he causes and get a restraining order if you have to.

Every single thing you’ve said points to you being the problem.

baltebiker · 2026-07-02T19:45:08+00:00

Hitting the guy is a real quick way to make sure that you lose parenting authority over your kids.

NobbyStiles66 · 2026-07-02T19:42:32+00:00

Have you considered ignoring him?

DistrictDivorceCoach · 2026-07-02T19:39:30+00:00

Dont. Please dont teach anyone a lesson. Dont pop anyone in the face. Take a step back and remeber who you need to impress, and that is your kids. You dont need to show him up or beat him in a pissing contest. You need to show up on time, deliver on your promises and be the voice of reason and sanity. You need to be the safe place where your kids want to be.

Walk away from provocations, dont act like you dont care, sincerely, stop caring. It will make him nuts, and your kids will be psyched that dad isnt fighting.

The Real Boss doesnt get his back up.

Direct_Cattle_6638 · 2026-07-02T19:25:03+00:00

I’m gonna be in the minority here but setting a good example for your kids seems like the move. Chances are your ex told him how “crazy and dangerous” you are (as all of ours have) and he is reacting based off that information. Don’t look at it as Alpha Beta, just try to be present and a good role model for your kids. Don’t let him disrespect you, but you shouldn’t disrespect him either. You can’t control the way things happen when you aren’t there, and ditto for him. Punching this dude will ruin your life…

Accomplished-Bet-883 · 2026-07-02T19:23:42+00:00

If he owns the house, then yes, he does have the authority to tell you to stay off his porch. Trying to cut him out of parenting will only hurt your kids because, like it or not, he's the one who's *there*. Now, you may not allow him to make medical/schooling decisions, that's purely the prerogative of a blood/adoptive parent, not a boyfriend. But yeah, get used to it. If it's not this guy, it'll be another and the best thing you can do FOR YOUR KIDS (and NOT your own ego) is to figure out a coherent parenting arrangement that everyone can follow.

BugsyM · 2026-07-02T19:20:44+00:00

You certainly don't have the 'authority' to step foot on his property, I'm not sure why you're worried about being the "REAL BOSS".. Your ex-wife has inserted a new father figure in your children's lives. You get to demonstrate how you're the calm, stable household.. or that you're the guy that throws temper tantrums because some other man doesn't consider you his "REAL BOSS".

Deciding to get violent is going to permanently damage your relationship with your children, and your custody. Focus on being the best father you can be, picking your kids up and dropping them off at the curb isn't going to prevent that. Be the man that worries about what his kids think about him, not what your ex-wife and her boyfriend thinks.

BigPapaJava · 2026-07-02T19:17:13+00:00

Just stare at him when you drop the kids off. Don’t speak to him. Don’t smile at him. Don’t acknowledge him if you don’t have to. Just stare him right in the eyes, completely unintimidated and expressionless, as you do what you need to do.

Don’t hit him or let his BS attempts at asserting control bother you. Don’t cause a scene and get sent to jail or give him/your ex ammo to use against you. Just do you and treat him like a fart in the wind.

ImNotYourGuru · 2026-07-02T19:15:20+00:00

I once dated a woman who was in a similar situation. Her second husband was exactly how you described this asshole and he was damaging a good coo-parenting relationship between her and her kids dad. The dad of the her girls decided to do a background check and found that the asshole had a record of being violent, punched someone else kid too. He threatened to take the girls if the asshole, she divorced the asshole a few months later.

You could start with that.

bassmentwork · 2026-07-02T19:08:51+00:00

Silence has a way of making idiots like this extremely uncomfortable. Don’t engage. Don’t respond. Make it awkward and let his mouth run. From the outside, an argument always looks like two idiots.

Fart_intheWind · 2026-07-02T18:54:52+00:00

Call him eskimo brother, reach for the eskimo brother handshake, ask how hes enjoying your seconds - "has she done that thing with her tongue up the ass for you yet?", when he gets angry just point out his latent homosexual urges and tell him you'd be willing to toss them a threesome if you get drunk enough but only if she does that thing with her tongue you like.

But seriously, follow the decree/parenting plan and don't go to jail for the sake of your kids.

Recent_Impress_3618 · 2026-07-02T18:52:50+00:00

What a nightmare. I don’t like the way you’re thinking man, you need to calm yourself down. People get killed in these situations. Ignore him.

Doesn’t want you on the porch, big deal. Once he doesn’t interfere with your access.

SeaweedWeird7705 · 2026-07-02T18:41:59+00:00

Don’t do it. You will go to jail.

Look at your divorce papers and your parenting plan. What does the paperwork say about whether you are allowed to walk on the porch? If it’s not prohibited, then you probably can do it.

Terminal-Earth · 2026-07-02T18:37:45+00:00

For some strange reason, the new supply is measuring himself against you. This is to prove to your wife that he is superior to you. For the sake of your children, and your own mental health, ignore it.

It would put you in a terrible legal situation and will absolutely affect your ability to see your children.

Any man who acts that way just screams insecurity.

My ex-wife and her new supply try this, but I ignore it. The reality is that her and her new supply are narcissists and very jealous of me. They go out of their way to annoy and trigger me. I gray rock them both.

They will get tired of it soon enough.

(In my situation, she was with this supply a week or two after the separation. She even left my children in this man’s care. Once I found out about it, I found him, put my hand on his shoulder and forcefully turned him around. I let him know who I was and if anything were to happen to my children in his care… Well, you know) He was such a coward he stepped back and pushed his children in front of himself) Ultimately, my point is that most people are like this are… All bark and no bite. Don’t let their actions dictate your relationships and future with your children.

bk2747 · 2026-07-02T18:32:37+00:00

A pop to the jaw is EXACTLY what they want so they can take you to court as an unfit, violent parent. That’s how you lose your kids, don’t fall for the rage bait.

I’d also put the mother in check before the dumbass dating a woman with children, she’s the culprit in all of this. I’d hit them with the uno reverse card, if he’s acting an ass in front of the children, get it on dash cam and send it to your attorney, let the courts know that the kids are in an unsafe environment.

warwww · 2026-07-02T18:29:38+00:00

If you touch him, 100000% you are going to jail, right away.

Just ask him - who helped to make those kids? Who's dna runs through their veins?

Tell him to knock it off and make some kids of his own if he's so passionate about it.

But please don't put your hands on him, as tempting as it may seem it will ruin your life.

Title	How to show my ex-wife's new boyfriend that he has no authority over my children or me.
Author	AgitatedCrew7984
Upvotes	0
Comments	50
Date	July 2, 2026 6:23 PM UTC (2 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ulq8gj/how_to_show_my_exwifes_new_boyfriend_that_he_has/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-to-show-my-ex-wifes-new-boyfriend-that-he-has.1584120 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584120

Comments