50/50 dads.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2026-07-24T22:47:56+00:00

Try the 2,2,5,5 schedule.

2 weeks on/off sounds terrible.

Significant_Koala_61 · 2026-07-22T11:36:21+00:00

That sounds good, you’re got it sorted, work a shorter day if you can; I’m about to, and if my work doesn’t gel with it so be it

richreason1983 · 2026-07-21T19:17:06+00:00

Anyway to get a work from home job? Thats the only way I have survived. I am supposed to be on a similar schedule but my kids prefer to live with me so I pretty much have them full time now, and its exhausting but as they get older it does get easier.

Key_Marionberry_7019 · 2026-07-21T14:32:57+00:00

If you could swing it Get a housekeeper that comes twice a week when they’re there.

Paddle_Pedal_Puddle · 2026-07-21T13:42:09+00:00

I do 1 week on, one week off with my two kids and your schedule sounds brutal. I do not have family in town, and my ex and I speak as little as possible so there is almost no collaboration. I also was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer not long after my divorce was finalized. It gets easier eventually, but here’s what has helped me survive.

Spend your custody weeks prioritizing the must do items and time with your kids. Cleaning the house will fall short. Projects won’t happen. You won’t be the greatest at work. Accept it and give yourself grace.
Spend your off-weeks prioritizing everything else. Kick butt at work. Get the house re-sorted. Get those errands done. Recharge on sleep. Surviving the custody weeks requires using your time wisely on your off weeks.
Reset your expectations of what quality time with your kids looks like. My kids are just a little older than yours, but they can help with cleaning up and chores around the house. It won’t be perfect, but start building a team attitude at home. Do fun stuff with them on the weekend, but remember that you can make running errands fun too. Get your kids’ input on what they want to eat that week and get them to help you with grocery shopping and meal prep on the weekend.
Build a team outside of the house. Figure out what you need help with and how to cover it. Connect with the parents of your kids’ friends. Start a ride sharing group to/from school. Can you afford to outsource anything, such as house cleaning, even if you have to sacrifice elsewhere? You probably delegated all of this to your ex in the past. Now you have to own it. Don’t isolate yourself. Be strong, but don’t pretend everything is okay when it isn’t. I found that people around me are ready and willing to help, but they can’t if you don’t open up or ask.
Take care of yourself. Eat right, cut out any drinking, get your annual physical to find out if you have any deficiencies or issues, find ways to get exercise, especially with your kids or during your off weeks.

Keep up the awesome work, Dad. You’re doing way better than you think you are. It’s hard but you’ve got this.

ApprehensiveSpare925 · 2026-07-21T12:34:43+00:00

I have 50/50. Mine are 10 and 12 though.

I have Wednesday at 9 AM thru Friday at 9 AM. Every other week Wednesday at 9 AM thru Monday at 9 AM.

Your 2 weeks on and 2 weeks seems a little unusual to me.

Fawn001 · 2026-07-21T08:38:32+00:00

Sorry to hear that it is tough going.
I have a 7yr old boy and twin 6 yr old girls.
Separated for 2 yrs.
50/50, but do a 2-2-5-5 split. So ex gets Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are mine and then alternate the Friday to Sunday.
This split works for us and gives us every second weekend off but likely change to week long stints next year.
What works for me:
Morning ice bath (5minutes out of my day but helps my head a lot)
Coffee and journal each morning
Kids lunches are made the night before
The kids get themselves up and ready half the time but slowly improving.
Kids sports are on most evenings and Saturday morning so a fair bit of running around. But Saturday afternoon and Sunday are for us to go on adventures or just play board games.
When i don’t have the kids i meal prep a lot, so i only need to reheat when i have the kids- this is a must to avoid eating poorly. Whilst it’s reheating i can usually make the school lunches.
When i get sick (often as i have a crap immune system and recovering from stage 3 kidney cancer) or the kids do, it all falls in a heap and takes a while to get back into a rhythm. But other wise it’s great.
A grind for sure but worth it.
Happy to try to help more if you dm me

getsomesleep1 · 2026-07-21T01:52:19+00:00

I’m 50/50 with twin 3 year olds. We essentially do 3 days each with rotating Saturdays.

My thoughts on your situation:
Two weeks is a long time, too long. It’s hard to do that solo for that period of time, and inversely I wouldn’t want to go 2 weeks without seeing my kids.

You need to sleep more. Do you need to get up at the ass crack of dawn? Push it to 5 if you can.
And finally- you need to talk to your dad. You are drowning and he’s off doing whatever. His own new family? Great but also fuck that, help out Pops. It doesn’t take much to provide significant relief.

I still struggle, and my help is an hour away but I do have it. Shorter stretches of time help a LOT.

hotantipasta · 2026-07-20T22:06:20+00:00

It'll get easier as they get older. I was in your exact same situation 13 years ago (twins and a single) except I had the kids 75% of the time. It's rough, it's going to be rough, but put your head down and keep pushing forward.

Komark10 · 2026-07-20T17:27:58+00:00

If you live closer to your ex then do the 2-2-5-5. Basically, I have my twin boys Monday and Tuesday every week. She has them Wednesday and Thursday and we alternate weekends. We have Holiday schedules already defined in MSA. You can use any AI chat to create a calendar entry for this and I use Gemini to create Google Calendar entries which I share with my ex. So no confusion or misunderstanding with her.

My boys are a bit older (13) so they help with chores which I pay them monthly allowance that incentivizes them. You can always start early so they are used to doing chores like help with cooking, unloading dishwasher, mail, bringing trash bins, doing their own laundry and folding their clothes. Taking care of the pets.
If you can afford then get a cleaner to come clean the house every 2 weeks. This has helped me focus on other things like cooking, playing with kids outdoors and indoors like video games, board games etc. and focus on my work.

Melodic_Abalone4288 · 2026-07-20T17:15:46+00:00

I’m 50/50. Week on week off. Mine are older now after almost 3 years. 15/10. It gets easier!! I had mine for 3 straight weeks this summer for holiday and I feel you - I was gassed! I’d see if can switch to week on off. It would be so much better for everyone imo. You got this bro! Remember some time in the future and it will be faster than you think you will actually miss this time period and give anything to have it back.

No-Particular6179 · 2026-07-20T16:18:15+00:00

Like others have said 2 weeks is a long stretch. I have my kids Wednesday thru Friday with alternating saturdays. Like you, when I have my kids I let the place fall to pieces. I really only focus on showering and dishes. Once they are at my Ex’s I do a big clean and the place is spotless.

Is your schedule set in stone or do you think your ex would be open to modifying it?

Some tricks I’ve learned is a got a robot vacuum and I task the kids with cleaning up all their toys before the vacuum gets to the room so it doesn’t eat their toys. Also, my oldest likes to “scrub” the dishes while I do them. Those help a little.

crzapy · 2026-07-20T16:16:51+00:00

I have 50/50 but it's every other week. I just spend the Sunday they go home cleaning up. Makes me appreciate how hard it is to be a single parent.

DarthDad25 · 2026-07-20T14:29:13+00:00

Two weeks on and two weeks off.. that’s brutal. Is there a reason why you and the ex have this schedule? Seems like if you swapped the kids more frequently, you would have more time to get things cleaned and ready for the kids. I have my kids 3.5 days every week and by the end of my time with them, I also notice my house starting to slip a little.

MajesticDrive4049 · 2026-07-20T14:23:21+00:00

#respect 🫡

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-07-20T13:13:58+00:00

You gotta put them to work. Sounds silly but have them start helping with dishes and teach them how to start the bath. You cannot do everything for them. You're being super dad and you're gonna burn out and in the long run, you're stunting their growth. Give them responsibilities.

painfulletdown · 2026-07-20T12:56:11+00:00

Me and my ex couldn't do your schedule. We switch pretty frequently (almost every other day besides long weekend) and both rest or clean up on our off days. Could you switch your schedule? (The longest we have our kids is 4 days)

JoeMacMillan_HCF · 2026-07-20T12:45:18+00:00

Genuinely not trying to make light of your issue, it sounds exhausting. But I’m a “Wednesday night, every other weekend” dad, and I’d kill for 50/50.

kansurr · 2026-07-20T12:35:38+00:00

Dude, two weeks on two weeks off is a hella long time... I have 5522 and by the end of my 5 days, I am beat... It takes a lot to do it alone, some things don't get done. Sometimes it's not clean, sometimes we eat take out, but everyday I am there, present and try to have fun with them. If your doing that, that's what will matter.

a_day_at_a_timee · 2026-07-20T03:23:38+00:00

My brother!

Ok so as someone who’s been doing 50/50 for 8 years let me give you some advice.

First, you are in the absolute hardest time. The kids grow up fast and will take more responsibility for their own lives as they get older. Like I hardly see my 17 year old anymore. Right when I figure they could be dead in their room I will hear a rustling in the kitchen at 2am. My 15 yo is starting high school and will be riding her ebike to school. No more driving for me!

Second, you need to think like a woman! Only a stupid man would try to do all of this by himself. A woman would make friends with the kids friends parents and set up ride shares. A lot of kids have stay at home moms who have no problem giving rides to your kids.

There are also school ride share parents who pick up batches of kids in a van for after school sitting until you get off work that you can pay for. Or after school programs for working parents from the school. Could be worth the money to get a couple hours of additional free time.

Hillary Clinton wrote a book called “It takes a village” about raising Chelsea in the white house. I didn’t read it because fuck that shit but the title tells us all we need to know. Get your sisters help, your friends, make new friends, kids friends, soccer friends, etc. Once you build up your tribe you won’t feel so alone.

Third, do not date women during your kid time. Do not think that a woman is going to rescue you from this. Do not introduce any of your dates to the kids until at least 6 months. Probably longer since they are so young. A high percentage of women will spook after meeting your ex wife’s womb goblins.

Fourth, put on your oxygen mask on first. Eat healthy. Quit drinking and smoking. Work out regularly. Practice self care. This will give you more energy and calm your nervous system down. I quit drinking during my divorce and my blood pressure dropped from 155 to 115 and i lost 30lbs.

Fifty, try and slow things down and appreciate these moments. As someone whose kids are almost off to college I really miss the old times and am really sad that it’s gone. Had an end of summer beach camp out this weekend with my 15 yo daughter and her bff. My 17yo didn’t want to come. We had a good time but it’s much different hanging out with proper young ladies instead of a couple of goofballs. I’m not cool any more apparently!

Anyway, best of luck! Been there and it’s hard but you got this!

ImpertinentNazgul · 2026-07-20T02:59:09+00:00

Single dad with 50/50, started when my daughter was 14 months old.

First, give yourself some grace, man. You’re engaged with your kids, you’re putting in the effort, spending time with them, and they see that.

Second, outsource what you can afford to, as much as you can afford to. Free grocery delivery option? Take it. Housekeeping service every week or two within the budget? Do it.

Third, get your kids involved as much as you can with helping out. They can make their beds, do little stuff to help with meals, etc. Every little bit they help with takes something off your plate, is good for them to learn responsibility, and it actually helps build your relationship even more.

You got this, brother. Just based off your post, I’m proud as hell of you. It’s not easy. But you’re doing all the right stuff…just work on how to offload what you can and simplify everything else.

Title	50/50 dads.
Author	TXxReaper
Upvotes	16
Comments	27
Date	July 20, 2026 2:48 AM UTC (2 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1v19f4u/5050_dads/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/5050-dads.1585432 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585432

Comments