I thought I wanted a unicorn.

KeffirLime · 2019-06-14T10:16:17+00:00

This is a standard problem for men with options. Your inherent mating strategy drives you to desire multiple women. If the option is available to you, naturally you will excercise it.

When you suddenly get into an LTR with only one woman, you are foregoing all these other women available to you. You're ultimately going against your inherent strategy.

Sooner or later this will cause you to lose attraction or start to resent the women you're with because she is the barrier between you and all the other women available to you.

I have in the past, repeatedly tried to execute this strategy, with some exceptionally attractive women, but the result is always the same. I lose attraction for them and crave variety.

In recent years, I've found far more satisfaction in having one main women,with the freedom to explore other options if I so desire it. My attraction and appreciation levels for my partner has remained high and the relationship has been better off.

Dirkz · 2019-06-14T09:52:00+00:00

Imo, you can be a good person and not want to fuck the same person for the rest of your life. Seems like you don't want to cheat on someone that had been faithful to you. So don't.

Tell her that you respect her and appreciate her faithfulness but that you find yourself interested in other women and you want to pursue that. A lot of the times if you do that you'll get the trickle truth and she will reveal that she has not been as faithful as you thought, if this is the case then good you've found out before things went too far. If not, then a lot of times you can continue fucking her and most times she will be even more attracted to you and do even crazier things with you.

Because as stated over and over again here, abundance mentality is attractive.

You don't have to cheat on her as others have suggested, but you don't have be stuck in a monogamous LTR either.

MilkMoney111 · 2019-06-14T12:40:05+00:00

It’s called the Coolidge effect. You think life would be great fucking that HB8 or 9 all The time? Nope. You will get tired of it and crave something novel.

BaLahKie · 2019-06-14T15:40:03+00:00

In my experience with an LTR that some might describe as a unicorn, I ended up in a very similar situation to yours. She was ideal, but I just didn’t want it.

It really comes down to you and what you want in your life overall and how does she add to that? Does she add value to your life in some way, or do you just value her because she checks all the boxes for an LTR from a red pill perspective?

One other note I would add is when you want to go sleep with other women and that’s why you don’t want an LTR make sure you’re making that choice for the right reasons. What I mean is that I see too many men, even self described red pillers, be unhappy in LTRs because they need the constant validation that comes with getting a new woman to sleep with them. I.e., at their core they are insecure and need validation from women and others to feel good about themselves. Just make sure that when you say you want to be with multiple women and not just one that it’s not because you aren’t confident in yourself and need some source of external validation.

Ivabighairy1 · 2019-06-14T17:34:02+00:00

To re-cap: You don’t trust women, don’t like relationships, and want to fuck multiple women

Yet, you are trusting a woman, in a relationship and fucking only one woman.

I think I see your problem.

Frame. You are in hers. You are not being congruent. Like a woman, your words and actions are not aligned.

You’re not being honest with yourself.

journeyinward · 2019-06-14T10:05:15+00:00

Based on what you described, you didn't seem really committed to entering into a commitment with this girl. The wandering eye seems like a natural consequence.

olimpicus · 2019-06-14T15:43:32+00:00

Things that call my attention:

Let's reverse the sexes: 1) woman makes guy jump into hooks. 2) guy doesn't have abundance mentality and tries too hard to please her 3) woman gets bored

Redpill can be useful to both sexes, i think all of us are hipergamic and polygamous at some degree.

MattyAnon · 2019-06-14T12:47:36+00:00

All this time since I joined TRP about 2 years ago I thought I deep inside inside longed for a LTR with a unicorn who is loyal, respects me, submissive etc.

You can't use TRP to get blue pill goals. Why not? Because those goals are impossible to achieve. They don't exist even if you use the best strategies to get them.

She started entertaining the thought of becoming exclusive with me. I told her I do not trust girls and do not like relationships in general

This really isn't the best way to express these thoughts. I've done exactly the same thing and it doesn't help get what you want. It's better to say "I don't do that" or "That stuff doesn't work for me" or "I don't want that, it's not me". Non-negotiable stuff like that, without giving reasons. As soon as you give reasons the girl fights you on them ("Not all girls are like that!") and then she expects you to change your mind. Best not to give reasons (especially negative ones) in the first place.

however, based on how she acted, I could consider a relationship, but she had to show she was worth it

This is very effective but it will make her chase the relationship idea and get jaded if she doesn't get it, and then you lose an otherwise great FWB.

I'm tired of fucking the same girl and I want to fuck others.

Right

But it does not feel right. This girl has shown undeniable loyalty, submission and everything else you could possibly want in a girl

You want what you want. Sexual strategy is amoral. It's not about the girl doing something right or wrong, it's about what YOU want. Men are not naturally monogamous, and you shouldn't have to compromise your best interests just because the girl has done nothing wrong yet.

Now, I'm stuck in a LTR that I do not want,

You are not stuck at all. Do not be restricted by guilt.

and I do not want to hurt a unicorn because of my selfish desires.

All desires are selfish including hers. You are not compelled to stay nor be exclusive.

What are you going to do OP, stay in a situation you don't like because.... err... the girl has done nothing wrong? This makes no sense.

Tell her you're not happy being exclusive, still want to see her, and open the relationship up again.

barserek · 2019-06-14T11:19:09+00:00

Theres a GREAT post from Roosh that covers this topic.

It basically says that when you want to commit or want to fuck sluts, you are basically divided. You can't have both, and you end up having neither. So you need to remove this division and pick one, you consciously go after one or the other, thus removing the dilemma.

https://www.rooshv.com/when-you-have-a-good-girlfriend-but-want-to-bang-sluts

Either you want a LTR or you want to fuck a ton of girls. In my experience this is spot on, deep down you can't hide the fact of this duality.

Just pick which one you want and pursue that decision, but don't try to have both. From what you posted, I think you want to keep fucking as many girls as you can for a while. When you get bored, you can always go for a LTR.

dusara217 · 2019-06-14T10:52:38+00:00

Desire is not a choice. Attraction is not a choice. It sounds to me as if you're trying to negotiate desire, and she is effectively the female afc trying to negotiate for your desire instead of sparking genuine emotions. The only way you'll ever be happy settling for one woman is if she genuinely seduces you into wanting it. Anything else will just see you hurting her the same way she would hurt any afc trying to negotiate for sex.

Whisper · 2019-06-14T11:48:08+00:00

If she would do anything for you, that includes learning to share.

Alek-Reason · 2019-06-14T10:49:15+00:00

This is why our culture is dying. Individuals pursuing purely their own pleasures instead of pursuing what is meaningfull and what is best for others.

flyinghorse1 · 2019-06-14T10:39:39+00:00

Well at least you tried it out!

meikyo_shisui · 2019-06-14T11:15:46+00:00

She's not a unicorn if she's a 6. Any girl multiple points of SMV below you can be a genuinely good LTR with the traits you listed. The difficulty is getting a high SMV woman with those traits/behaviours, hence unicorn status.

AdmiralFiz · 2019-06-14T11:30:05+00:00

Hey man, i was in a similar situation to this recently. You never need to give a reason to break up with someone, however, if you wanted to in this case, a simple "I'm not happy" should be fine. I told my ex I just didn't want to be in a relationship anymore and I just wanted to focus on myself. It's always tough in the moment, but over the next few weeks you'll feel better than if you stayed together. Don't put her happiness over your own.

Nicolas0631 · 2019-06-14T21:36:49+00:00

Ok thinking of it a bit, I would say that life isn't black or white and it is neither as blue pill or even TRP people says.

Understand that first and foremost this is your own life, so you shall decide for yourself and what is good for you.

You don't have to fuck other girls or even get plates just because your fellow TRP friends say that alpha play it like that. You don't have to get this bullshit that it is normal men can cheat and women not.

You don't have to be kind, stay with your LTR and you don't have to be exclusive.

There isn't any rule. You can do what you want.

This is you to choose. And whatever you choose, there will be consequences with no warrenty it will go as expected or forever. Don't let us do it for you. Do it yourself and accept the consequences that come with that choice.

There no hurry. You can take your time too. As I see it there a huge potential for regrets whatever you choose to do. So try to make the best decision with the information you have, take your time, and then once is decided, live with it.

JamesSkepp · 2019-06-14T11:02:12+00:00

I'm stuck in a LTR that I do not want, and I do not want to hurt a unicorn because of my selfish desires.

Been there, done that, long time ago. First of all, you yourself are going to choke on that situation if you don't resolve it. The longer you linger with the breakup, the more drama there will be. Secondly, she will be fine. I assure you. She might cry for a day, perhaps she'll pull a stage 5 clinger or stuff like that, but besides that she'll find another guy sooner or later. In my case the ex-gf got pregnant few months later, not that it's something bad in itself, just personally for me was like dodging a bullet considering I'm still single and will probably remain so for the foreseeable future.

But it does not feel right

Either you genuinely want an LTR and chose sub-par material (for example you want an LTR but with HB9, not HB6) or you are using LTR/girl as coping mechanism, smokescreen for something else you're missing in your life. That might be other women, might be serious goals, avoiding confronting the problems etc.

I feel like a hypergamous whore

Sexual strategy is amoral. So are your sexual desires. For you breaking up with her is something really bad, it's not, you're operating on BP feeling that breaking with a girl that didn't do any mistake is something bad. For her it's gonna be a phone number in contact list, she'll just need to find another guy. You think it's a big deal, she'll act like it is, then she'll meet another dude, lightswitch effect will go on and you'll become irrelevant.

Atheist_Utopia · 2019-06-14T10:15:39+00:00

just break up and state the truth

nantucketghost · 2019-06-14T12:28:26+00:00

You're just not old enough. Not a bid deal and I think most guys go through this phase.

Your mind is wanting something different. But you can have different with the same girl. Have her get some sexy outfits. Make a couple days on the weekend sexy outfit night or whatever. Come up with what works for you.

Sex in different places. Go for a hike, have sex on the trail or mountain top, or whatever. Get my point? If you make it exciting, it will keep you interested.

mrp_awakening · 2019-06-14T12:47:12+00:00

She's not a unicorn. She's still auditioning. Two months? Wait and see her behavior after getting or engaged, or worse... marriage. Shit'll change.

chazthundergut · 2019-06-14T16:27:07+00:00

Tell her you want a threesome. See if she is as invested in your happiness as you are in hers

sensual_predditor · 2019-06-14T22:54:08+00:00

Tell her you need concubines but you want to keep her as your wife, and that it's not her fault. You want to always fuck her out of desire and not obligation.

BigSnips · 2019-06-14T15:01:22+00:00

You defined her as an “HB6.” How is she a unicorn ?

Looking_4_Stacys_mom · 2019-06-14T13:27:57+00:00

How old are you OP? I have spoken to people about how some people want to see others despite in a good relationship. More often than not it has come down to the person's age. Like myself who's a 21 year old male, who pulls frequently, why would I ever want an LTR? I can wait till I'm 28 or longer. Once I'm older, I will probably want an LTR, but now, and possibly you too OP, just want to have some casual fun

Protocol_Apollo · 2019-06-14T15:04:47+00:00

This can be a potential problem of any LTR. Not are you giving up on your sexual strategy of fucking as many bitches as you can (as mentioned by others) but also here’s a thing most people forgot:

That HB8/9/10 eventually is no longer a HB8/9/10, she’s now just your girlfriend who’s fairly attractive.

You no longer see her as the elusive HB that you were chasing for when she’s becomes your girlfriend.

[deleted] · 2019-06-14T18:53:05+00:00

Just slip up a few times, she’ll leave you.

oorobz · 2019-06-16T07:49:22+00:00

Dude read "The Way of the superior man: a spiritual Guide to mastering the challenges of woman work and sexual strategy"

This will help you to solve your own problem at the basics .

acidaus · 2019-06-14T12:25:23+00:00

start looking for actual unicorns - chicks for threesomes . i've been seeing the same girl for 6 months but she regularly brings in girls for 3somes with me who she finds on tinder. she has to be pretty submissive to you and into girls too though for it to work. it's good variety and you feel like a boss fucking two chicks at the same time

FereallyRed · 2019-06-14T13:25:35+00:00

"Apologetic for your selfish desires."

Still blue.

Lizzle372 · 2019-06-14T13:14:13+00:00

If you cant decide, the answers no. If it was yes, you wouldve done it already.

MetaphoricalNonsense · 2019-06-14T17:49:46+00:00

Morality is not defined by what you expect to get out from a relationship rather its defined by the least desirable outcome that could possibly occur. The implications of this is that you should naturally be on the defensive if you garner a sense of your wellbeing being on the line.

someonesopinion6969 · 2019-06-14T18:09:38+00:00

dude, you're not meant to go around fucking each and every woman in existence.

there's a reason you feel empty because you're just fucking someone you couldn't give 2 shits about.

honeymoon period sounds like, you had your fill of fun and now you're bored.

johnhawkinsbp · 2019-06-14T19:01:03+00:00

I don't know how old you are, so maybe this doesn't apply, but as I got older and was with more women, I found that what I THOUGHT wanted in a woman wasn't always what really juiced me up and I found that out by getting what I wanted.

If you're sure this girl isn't what you want, both of you are better off if you walk away although it will be hard. If you do that, just be as kind as possible on the way out since it really isn't her fault and she earned her status in a LTR with you.

red_matrix · 2019-06-14T19:07:59+00:00

Are you unable to control your lust? Have you tried controlling and re-channeling this energy? They say if you can control yourself, you can control the world. I’ve been through sleeping with lots of girls, and over time it does start to feel empty. This is an area where the red pill is lacking...what happens at the end of the rainbow? Because sex will never give you fulfillment, if you’re using to fill a hole somewhere it won’t help you. Try and find out why you feel the need to sleep around so much. You already had the plate spinning thing going - and that didn’t fulfill you, right? It doesn’t make sense to go back to that...you’ll just end up right back here.

Sake99 · 2019-06-14T19:11:31+00:00

Keep us updated on this please.

DrinkBeerWinPrizes · 2019-06-14T21:31:16+00:00

You dont owe people anything. You are responsible for your own happiness. Cut her loose.

xoxuv · 2019-06-14T23:11:17+00:00

If she were OK with polygyny, (on the same LTR, not a parallel LTR), would you feel comfortable with keeping her?

On that case, you may give her the choice. If she doesn't wants you shared, she doesn't wants you, and is her choice.

letmeseeantipozi · 2019-06-15T11:04:53+00:00

Interesting to see someone posit the flip side of degeneracy.

Use the morals you still have or what's left of them.

[deleted] · 2019-06-15T11:18:20+00:00

The moment you stop being a "hypergamous whore" she's going to change and let out all the frustration she has been bottling up all this time.

She's not a unicorn, she's just more cunning.

[deleted] · 2019-06-16T03:59:35+00:00

She sounds like Lydia from Skyrim.

[deleted] · 2019-06-17T20:48:36+00:00

you need a dominant woman to submit to. proof you have your perfect waifu yet you hate it, you need a woman who beats the shit out of you each day.

brogue123 · 2019-06-20T14:13:15+00:00

OP - Dude, the issue here is this. Every part of every decision you are making begins and ends in your selfishness. All of it. Every part. You are an astoundingly selfish person. It all revolves around you, everything does. It's like the human reality of the person you have in your life is utterly irrelevant. There is no connection between you and her. You have no relationship. This woman is having a relationship with the illusion of you. You don't have a single fuck to give about anything to do with her humanity whatsoever. That's not a moral point. It's like you're autistic or something. Like you just don't understand that humanity even exists, and so all that's left is this weird world of labels and judgement.

Your agonised emotional worry - should you stay or should you go - is the most terrifyingly shallow and contrived thing. The only thing that matters to you about this woman is that she's ticked X, Y and Z boxes. This means she's 'passed the test' and so deserves your long term attention. Fucking hell mate. Where's the fucking human connection? And I'm not talking about smaltzy sentimental claptrap, I'm talking about ANY human connection AT ALL. Where's the basic fucking connection between two people that would make this ANY form of relationship, no matter how shitty? Absent. Just absent. You are not in a relationship with this woman and you're not looking for one with another. The only thing you're having a relationship with is your own simplistic vanity.

Should you stay in this shitty, sham of a fucking relationship because she's ticked the boxes that you have decided mean that she's 'deserving'? Or are you so torn emotionally by the fact that you are too selfish EVEN FOR THAT. Even that shitty, small-minded, petty, useless goal is beyond your capacities.

I guess what I'm saying is this. You have a bigger problem than your relationship issues mate. You are that problem. There is a vast and frankly massive gulf between who you believe yourself to be and the actual reality of who you are. That reality is that you are a withered, empty person with nothing to offer anyone but lies and selfishness.

Swallow that.

tchower · 2019-06-22T21:36:12+00:00

Then just to think, there are starving children in Asia and Africa and people born with rare diseases or dying from cancer.

Snowaey · 2019-06-14T10:25:01+00:00

there are no unicorns, that's why u call "the ideal woman" a unicorn,

CAUSE THEY DONT EXIST

omega_dawg93 · 2019-06-14T13:58:47+00:00

op, your perfect little uniform still has orbiters on-call and has Chad's number saved under, "acme customer service" in her contacts.

... unless you're telling us that you've defeated her programmed, natural hypergamy.

IndiansSmellLikePoo · 2019-06-14T12:33:56+00:00

Interesting post man. Here is my story. I broke up 11 months ago with my first LTR and I had mad oneitis for her leading up for about 18 months before (don't get me started). So all things considered I had a lot of feelings attached. Being Blue Pilled as well didn't help the cause.

I left the LTR because I seriously couldn't stand her and her family, it was like my soul was being drained when I would be around her. Not to get upset and resentful about anyone (women) but she held me back a lot. I'm glad I left in a way and had the self respect to focus on myself.

Sure I'll miss being in an LTR (with her as well) and the pros of it (companionship). But for now I'm working as hard as I can to do well at university, my internship and networking. Look it's hard for me to see results right now and it discourages me a bit but hopefully it will be worth it.

The take away is that being with a women in my current stage was holding me back.

ntvirtue · 2019-06-14T12:54:28+00:00

Have her bring home other chicks for threesomes every weekend

StoicTrader1 · 2019-06-14T19:32:25+00:00

IMO, you are valuing sex too much...

from my perspective it's more important to have a girl you connect with well and that is willing to be loyal / serve you

yes good sex is important and in isolation the most important but forgoing a good loyal girl where you basically have everything just to pursue sex with other girls is not ideal IMO

think about the odds of you finding another girl as good as her and what you risk by deciding to end it...

just saying, I value the connection / communication and the type of woman above all else...

but I'm also not a big fan of plate theory, spinning plates is all fine, but once you come across something special, IMO it's no longer worth spinning inferior plates and risk losing a rare find...

omen_tenebris · 2019-06-14T09:59:16+00:00

But it does not feel right

That's the blue pill programming for you. "How you feel doesn't matter" 'cos "it's the right thing to do".

Kill. The. Beta.

This is why i don't date yet. I've not killed the beta yet.

Zesty-Lem0n · 2019-06-14T16:08:27+00:00

If being submissive is really a trait you value in women then you aren't ready for an LTR. You are too insecure to prove your worth to a normal girl with her own life so you prey upon girls as spineless as you who will let you make all their decisions to make life easier. If I were you I'd be bored of this girl who clearly has no self respect or self worth and let's you walk all over her. It takes strength and personal security to be vulnerable to someone else and you are avoiding that by finding these submissive girls who will never push you or seriously ask anything of you like an equal. These girls are safe. You can never truly disappoint them because they do not expect anything of you like an equal partner might. You don't have to prove yourself to them and justify your place with them like they do for you. If you run away from every non-sub girl, you are avoiding any chance of finding a partner who has some value outside of being a sex object. You are ignoring all the females who can support and help and challenge you through life and would actually make for fulfilling LTRs. Just stick to flings and casual relationships if you are too emotionally distant and reserved for a real relationship.

Sword_Artist_ · 2019-06-14T14:43:41+00:00

Seems extremely shallow. I'm 27, been in several long term relationships. Never been cheated on. Never had to consult with the red pill on anything. In fact I just learned about the red pill in the past year. Loyalty and submissive traits are NOT hard to find by any means. These are just basic things lol, like men being nice (actually nice, not "niceguy" nice). I firmly believe you project yourself into the world and by those means you attract the same. Your vibe determines your tribe kind of thing.

pewozorre · 2019-06-14T09:20:08+00:00

Keep spinning plates you loser. You’re not stuck. No man is stuck. Only in your mind. Just get more distant

868-hack · 2019-06-14T10:42:10+00:00

If I were you, I'd fuck strangers on the side to satiate the urge and get the best of both worlds. It doesn't have to be often but it does have to be. As for the morality part, well... it's every man for himself, dog eat dog, and nothing is sacred.

Being a goody two-shoes feels good but does it feel better than a good lay? Most of the days I'd say it's a resounding "no."

Alex_J_Anderson · 2019-06-14T12:33:06+00:00

Dude, sex is hollow pleasure. You’re lucky enough to have found someone you really like. If you’re still really young I get that you’re not ready to settle down. But sleeping with randoms gets old. Sex in general gets old. If you’re still banging sluts into your 30’s you’re kind of a sad loser.

TheLoveGuardian · 2019-06-14T15:58:58+00:00

You wanted to find the perfect girl on paper and you did but you aren’t in love with her. If you were in love with her you wouldn’t feel this way. I’ve had sex with 56 women and when I started dating my most recent girlfriend I stopped thinking about girls entirely. I didnt even jerk off to other girls or porn. So if you’re doing this you’re just not in love and you should leave her. I’m not trying to be blue pill I’m literally just saying if you actually enjoyed her it would outweigh sex with other women, especially if she’s already providing high quality sex

Managicall · 2019-06-14T11:06:25+00:00

who is loyal, respects me, submissive etc

Ewwgh you are one dirty bastard. Why would you want that! I just puked a little in my mouth. All I got to say is make sure she don't eat any children. Do not click on any folders on her computer. And if her Ex is in the same state as you, run. She might even be a trans dude. Whatever happened to the other girl did she just mysteriously disappear? You think she has those qualities, but more than likely she simply has a deep hatred for other women.

Title	I thought I wanted a unicorn.
Author	unkg
Upvotes	265
Comments	169
Date	June 14, 2019 9:16 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/c0hzge/i_thought_i_wanted_a_unicorn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-thought-i-wanted-a-unicorn.242480 https://theredarchive.com/post/242480