How would you feel about a man in his late 20's with an 18 year old wife?

filamilano · 2019-02-09T20:39:58+00:00

predator, 18 year olds have mush for brains. If I was close to that situation I'd keep an eye for her

throwinout · 2019-02-09T19:54:48+00:00

Id think 'poor girl'

2019-02-09T22:56:46+00:00

I think if you are young enough to still be in high school you are too young to be married. Also if you are closing in on 30 you shouldn’t be dating teenagers. But to each their own.

2019-02-09T19:49:58+00:00

I would assume they were from a culture where that was common. Or if not, "huh, that's weird".

Willow-girl · 2019-02-09T23:25:45+00:00

A starter husband! Cool.

nevomintoarce · 2019-02-09T19:50:31+00:00

I'd think they're religious.

beefjokey · 2019-02-09T20:22:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2019-02-09T20:41:18+00:00

Religious or poor. Probably both.

douchebag_throwaway3 · 2019-02-09T22:30:43+00:00

I know we have lots of newcomers here, so I'd just like to remind everyone to please familiarize yourself with the rules in the sidebar before starting to comment and make threads. There are also some additional rules that just haven't been placed in the sidebar yet, such as no comments that just say "cope" or other incel jargon. If you get flagged for one of the unwritten rules just because you didn't know, we understand. The comment will be removed and you'll receive a warning, but no mod note. Your always welcome to edit comments and posts so that they are complaint with the rules.

Also no downvoting please. This is a debate sub, if you can't make an argument without slapping that blue arrow, maybe you should reassess your position.

2019-02-09T21:52:22+00:00

It would depend entirely on context. If the man was my SIL because he married my 18 year old daughter I would be up his ass pretty frequently. I would also assume I was a major failure as a parent. If some guy I worked with wanted to have an 18 year old wife I guess he is going to have an 18 year old wife. I would not need to distance myself because I do not hang out with late 20's guys who have 18 year old wives. I guess if I was a third world person where everybody has child brides and gets married young and has a whole bunch of babies it wouldn't bother me.

I live in the south, there are lots of first timer marriages where the woman is 18 especially if the man is military or if they are in a super conservative evangelical church. A vast majority of those people last a few years and get divorced. I am pretty sure red states in the US have much higher divorce rates and early impulsive marriages so they can have sex but not have Jesus be mad at them is likely a factor.

Wandos7 · 2019-02-09T20:35:05+00:00

I would feel unsurprised when they likely divorce 18 months later because forever is too long for most 18 year olds to comprehend and hope he was smart enough to get a prenup because she can go back to school and marry someone else later if she can’t support herself.

LeaneGenova · 2019-02-09T21:14:16+00:00

I'd be concerned. Those relationships have a high chance of falling apart catastrophically with some severe repercussions.

That said, I was 17 and my fiance was 25 when we first started dating. I think we are an absolute statistical outlier. But nobody said a damn word about the difference in age, excepting the one time I got asked if I needed a children's menu at 21 years old.

Gravel_Roads · 2019-02-10T06:39:09+00:00

I’d think divorce was inevitable. Very few people are into the same thing at 18 as they are at 28. He’ll pump as many kids into her as possible, she’ll realize she has more in common with her children than she does her husband, and eventually she’ll leave with the kids and he won’t bother to fight for custody. When asked why, he’ll say “Because the court would just favor her anyway”. But he really doesn’t actually want custody, because he’s a shit father who doesn’t understand that the girl he married was the first “kid” he’d adopted without ever realizing it.

2019-02-09T21:17:04+00:00

I'd definitely wonder but I wouldn't ask or be a jerk about it. I wouldn't envy them their naysayers though. We got our fair share at 22 and 29. Never came from family or friends so it was nosiness and concern trolling. I found it tedious, he thought it was hilarious and would do overtly obnoxious stuff to make the pearl clutchers gasp.

2019-02-10T00:39:33+00:00

Yeah I would consider him creepy and anyone marrying at 18 is rushing it.

2019-02-10T06:38:00+00:00

Who cares? I'd consider that the man probably values looks and youth over "compatibility", but that hardly makes him abnormal. I wouldn't get involved in any stranger's marriage. None of my business.

ruga2 · 2019-02-10T00:50:12+00:00

An adult woman can do whatever she wants with an adult man.

There is nothing bad, creepy, predatory or reprehensible.

Neither that man or woman have any problem You have the problem.

Is their life, and not your life.

Same as you have nothing to do with other people gay relationships, you have nothing to do with other people heterosexual relationships.

Your moral judgement are yours exclusively, personal, and not transmissible. You cannot force your morals on other people, same as other people cannot force their morals on you.

lefactorybebe · 2019-02-09T19:45:31+00:00

I’d be grossed out. He couldn’t match with someone his own age? He has the mentality of a late teen? Ew.

He would not be invited to my dinner party.

lefactorybebe · 2019-02-09T20:47:17+00:00

I'd think it's weird, I'd wonder about how they'd gotten together, what each of them were like.

I wouldn't ask them anything directly, that's really rude lol.

I probably wouldn't want to hang out with them much. I'm 25, my friends are mid/late 20s, it'd be weird to be with an 18 year old. She couldn't even go to a bar!

Critical_Stress · 2019-02-10T02:35:05+00:00

My husband and I got together when I was 18 and fresh out of high school and he was in his mid twenties.

Freethetreees · 2019-02-10T03:49:00+00:00

It’s literally none of my business.

GridReXX · 2019-02-10T07:05:39+00:00

I have always had a large coed friend circle that’s pretty social. Everyone being well educated professionals. Everyone hangs out together and with each other’s SOs too.

In our late 20s, I could see us having a laugh at trying to incorporate his 18 year old GF into our social lives? What would she talk to us about? AP World History? We wouldn’t even be able to invite her to 21+ events.

So yeah from a perspective of her actually hanging out with us, it would be weird. Unless she was some super worldly 18 year old who acted 28 due to hyper exposure and experiences. And even then, my gut reaction would be my friend is being weird and this isn’t a good sign for someone in our crew.

flamingoinghome · 2019-02-10T09:24:00+00:00

Yeah NOPE. Especially as you said "wife". If this guy has managed to have a courtship, relationship, engagement, and wedding with this girl, and she's STILL 18, then when exactly did they meet? When did they start dating? Because this sounds like a child grooming situation, tbh.

2019-02-09T21:32:21+00:00

Ew. She's a baby. She just finished high school. What would an adult have in common with a teenager? Teenage girls interests are basically selfies, drinking, smoking, going to the mall, hanging out with their friends, or going to some football game.

WhatIsTheMeaningHere · 2019-02-09T20:06:59+00:00

No. But no woman should date any man under 30, maybe under 35. Men in their 20s shouldnt get married.

AutoModerator · 2019-02-09T19:35:26+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2019-02-09T20:25:21+00:00

"Interesting"

2019-02-09T20:59:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2019-02-09T23:18:42+00:00

I dont see why would it be a problem if its legal let them do what they want. I'd probably be happy for him I guess. All the people saying its "gross" are idiots and dont understand human nature. It's not "creepy" to be attracted to a developed and fertile woman. It's the way nature designed us so we reproduce. I wouldnt be surprised even if a 50+ year old preferred an 18 year old over a 50 year old woman from an evolution pow she would be the better choice. Moralfag instinct deniers can gtfo

a_vanillae · 2019-02-10T00:16:41+00:00

It really depends on the context, like so many things in life. Are they dressed and acting like typical Westerners otherwise? Whatever, I'd assume she was like me and wanted to cash her chips in early. If there's any sign of ethnoreligious elements, I'd be dubious but not pay much attention past that. The only thing that would bug me would be signs of neglect or abuse.

TinyNerd86 · 2019-02-10T01:23:40+00:00

I think it would depend on the people. I know some 18yr olds with more brains than some 20-somethings, but those folks are going to be in the minority. Also I think any marriage involving an 18yr old is unlikely to be successful (though not impossible). People will judge you for it. The question is can you deal with their judgement?

shoup88 · 2019-02-10T01:24:42+00:00

I would probably assume they’re religious. No, I would never ask her or him about it. What kind of nosy Parker business is that?

Going on the assumption that he’s religious, yes I would distance myself from him.

EmpoweredGirl · 2019-02-10T06:09:16+00:00

At Uni there was a girl I was briefly friends with who was dating her driving instructor, she was 18 and he was 33 so that's even worse. I would be curious to know what the guy was like, but I would be wary of him from the start. It's even worse that she's a university student, which means she'll remain a child for another 3-4 years getting her degree. Honestly 18 y/o girl 28 y/o guy, not great. 25 y/o girl 35 y/o guy no one would complain.

KikiYuyu · 2019-02-10T09:37:20+00:00

Anyone who's significantly older than a barely legal spouse is creepsauce.

2019-02-10T10:13:08+00:00

I would think she is pregnant in the west and that the husband is a normal/lucky guy in Brazil's poorer regions.

We live and die too early in Brazil, worse still in poorer regions. Marrying at that age is not uncommon by any means. It is like a 25ish girl marrying a 38ish guy in the west. I think. Rare, but not that much, and certainly not predatory behavior. (To the man)

The man in his late 20s to me can just be a divorcee or a guy which focused in his career first. It is really easier to find a wife when you are richer, and younger women have better on average, so this is not unheard of. And sometimes even common.

My father was like that. He had a wife but she divorce raped him right after the come back of hiperinflation (it was a new concept at the time), so he remaried a 18 years old, my mother. He was 30 at the time. As in his mind young women had more to offer than their equivalents. (Also there is almost no single woman at his age)

If I was to find a wife in Brazil at my late 20's, I would probably marry a woman around 18-25. As most women in their late 20's which are not married have proven themselves to be terrible choices as relationship goes.

Sure, I may find some good choice that divorced a violent husband, have no children and does not have a nasty personality, but in the end, there are way more good choices that are younger than older, so it is statistically improbable I would marry a woman around my age. Plus, younger women have the appeal of youth.

DebatePony · 2019-02-10T13:48:23+00:00

Considering they would have be dating before 18, def predator.

Eartherry · 2019-02-10T14:07:34+00:00

Anyone marrying before 26 is an idiot. Anyone marrying outside of their demographic sucks. Anyone older than 18 marrying someone 18 is a cradle robber.

killallthenarcs · 2019-02-10T19:54:16+00:00

She'll be 22 years old and still childless when she divorces him because she grew up and he did not. She won't ask for or get any alimony or childsupport, but neither will she need it. He'll be bitter and aggrieved but when he listens to other guys talk about how they got "divorce raped" and lost the house the car the kids the dog he will become very aware that she really took nothing away but herself.

She'll go on to live her life and never look back.

He'll be in his early 30s and will have been kicking back doing the married man thing (getting fat and building up a sense of entitlement to the labor of women) so long that he'll not be able to improve his value in time to get another like her. He'll never recover, and no-one will care, nor should they.

He might get married in his early forties, but probably not. He will not have kids.

I'm not going to discuss any of this with either of them. Their problems not mine.

waxedmintfloss · 2019-02-11T16:08:11+00:00

I wouldn't really care, unless one of them were personally my friend or relative, then I would question them what on earth they're thinking, what do they have in common and why do they think it's going to last.

No one should get married at 18 anyway unless they got pregnant or are escaping a horrible home situation. But you have your whole life ahead of you; use protection, find a starter job, and don't be afraid to shack up somewhere janky for awhile. Most circumstances don't last forever but marriage and coparenting should.

Sophiatab · 2019-02-11T17:12:50+00:00

Courtesy would demand I not interrogate the couple about their relationship unless there were signs something was seriously going wrong like spousal abuse. It has been my experience though that whenever there are huge age gaps in a relationship, one of the partners is frequently a bit of a predator.

2019-02-11T21:32:02+00:00

I know a 18 year old girl who married a man in his 40s. Well we just used to play as a kid

Mira_nom · 2019-02-13T23:18:44+00:00

Yeah, girls that age are pretty much still teens. Grow men who are not far from being old asses creepos in their 30s will look predatory when they go for girls that young. Most people really reach mental maturity in their mid 20s anyway.

2019-02-09T19:50:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

GradualDecomp · 2019-02-09T21:47:18+00:00

I would have maternal concern for the kid

Title	How would you feel about a man in his late 20's with an 18 year old wife?
Author	cherryapp
Upvotes	7
Comments	164
Date	February 9, 2019 7:35 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/aovqa3/how_would_you_feel_about_a_man_in_his_late_20s/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-would-you-feel-about-a-man-in-his-late-20s.257324 https://theredarchive.com/post/257324

Comments