So I keep seeing this come up: the assumption that a woman who “makes a guy wait” longer than a previous partner of hers is disrespecting him. That she is demonstrating she was more attracted to the previous guy, that she showed him more respect, that it proves he was better and is therefore punishing this lesser man by “making him wait”.

I don’t know about the other women in this sub, but that sounds ridiculous to me when I think about the men in my life I’ve dated seriously and the ones I had a ONS with.

The way I see it, women get requests for meaningless, interchangeable sex frequently, sometimes constantly, like a telemarketer who keeps dodging the no-call list somehow. We don’t feel respected when a stranger asks for sex. It can be downright annoying depending on how it happens.

As a woman, I feel respected when a guy who is interested in me doesn’t come at me like a slobbering cartoon wolf in a zoot suit. A slow burn approach is way more effective, a man who shows clear interest but also restraint is beyond attractive to me. It shows that he has patience, discipline, self-control, all very attractive traits not just in a man in general but in a partner. I feel respected when I am courted slowly, slower at least than trying to fuck right away on the first date.

Subconsciously, I think women are actually showing much more respect to a guy she wants to take it slow with, since that’s probably how she wants to be treated by the guy in return. I can only speak for myself though, what do the other women here think?