CMV: Men want to feel sexy too

Littleknownfacts · 2017-11-03T15:25:23+00:00

This is just the flip side of women wanting to be respected and appreciated for more than their outward beauty. They want their husbands and boyfriends to think they are funny, intellectual, and wise. Most women would be equally heartbroken to know that they were just the hottest women willing to touch their partners peen.

Ultramegasaurus · 2017-11-03T17:12:17+00:00

That's kinda hard to ask of the gender that finds the vast majority of men unattractive.

sublimemongrel · 2017-11-03T16:30:30+00:00

When women say that they don't mean that it makes up for lack of physical/sexual attraction. They mean they can develop physical/sexual attraction based upon behavioral/personality traits + what he looks like, which isn't necessary (generally) for men to develop physical/sexual attraction to women.

But as to your point, of course men want to feel sexually desired. They are human, after all.

pinkgoldrose · 2017-11-03T15:58:57+00:00

You do want to feel sexy, but it's more attractive if you don't. A man who doesn't care about his appearance is for some reason more attractive (correct me if I'm wrong).

The only way the 80-20 rule is true would be that women think 20% of men are good-looking, however women would date 80% of men. It's just the truth that physical appearance isn't as important for women. Women aren't as visual.

If you want a woman who carnally desires you the way a man desires a woman, that's your right, just know that you're making the dating game harder for yourself.

Christian_Kong · 2017-11-03T15:45:47+00:00

men want to feel sexy too

There are girls that don’t know this? Where?

crackrocksteady7 · 2017-11-03T15:15:20+00:00

This is one of the main advantages of dating 1-2 points down. She will be all over you all the time

says_harsh_things · 2017-11-03T15:34:05+00:00

What if women don't find any man physically attractive initially? What if whatever is necessary to inspire lust comes predominantly from interacting with the man, and so he becomes physically attractive over time?

abaxeron · 2017-11-04T14:11:39+00:00

The view to be challenged here is not "I want to feel sexy too", it's "men want to feel sexy too".

How are men supposed to "want" it? Must men dedicate 20 minutes a day cursing their genes, their heights, their jaw lines, their prenatal T levels, and their hair lines? Must men earn even harder to afford expensive surgeries that will allow them to create a rather unsustainable illusion of not having "unattractive genes"? I'm confused.

Personally, I've spent years in dwellings that didn't have mirrors, and always found it extra creepy when random women commented on my appearance, even in the most positive way imaginable. Also, I use workwear and military field uniform as my casual outfit. The last time I wore a tie was about 10 years ago or so.

EsauTheRed · 2017-11-03T15:32:08+00:00

Idc that she does, she simply does

The nice thing about being male is the things that make you look nice have a practical purpose or otherwise demonstrate power

[deleted] · 2017-11-03T15:42:26+00:00

Yeah, and so do men as dating a very attractive woman etc is a social status booster. We also care about social status believe it or not.

darla10 · 2017-11-03T16:16:08+00:00

Men want to feel like their woman finds them masculine, strong, handsome. 'sexy' is sort of a feminine adjective imo.

quotient_is · 2017-11-03T16:36:27+00:00

Men want to feel sexy too

Yes, they do. Why is this a CMV? Everyone wants to be validated. I can't imagine why that would be hard to grasp. I can see why a woman might not know to compliment a man in a way specifically geared to attributes he values, though, given the complexity of sexuality and gender issues in modern society.

The person who mentioned letting men open jars is pretty spot on. It's not hard at all to find small opportunities like that. (There's a whole episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm devoted to men competing to open pickle jars, lol.) Another opportunity is after sex, for instance. Telling a man exactly what you liked about it can both make future sex better and make him feel virile/accomplished.

Tell your man he looks good, for fuck's sake. Let him catch you looking at him. Touch him in passing and initiate when you want sex. Treating men like intelligent adults who can handle their own lives is a big deal, too, even if it doesn't seem directly tied to sexuality.

Alfalfa121 · 2017-11-04T11:36:50+00:00

Ya, we do. I could go for a healthy dose of “objectification” right now.

newName543456 · 2017-11-05T13:13:59+00:00

I'd rather be considered sexy piece of meat by woman than appreciated for intelligence (outside of professional setting that is).

loviathrowaway1994 · 2017-11-05T19:38:11+00:00

The main part of sex for me isn't the sex. It's the feeling of being wanted by my girl. Cumming on her back or belly just don't feel right if she's not into it IMHO.

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[deleted] · 2017-11-04T06:24:49+00:00

Some days I wish I could wear the little black dress and stilettos!

BiggerDthanYou · 2017-11-03T17:38:58+00:00

The biggest pet peeve of mine when people say looks isn't all that important/that women can overlook this with a combination of other factors, is that we take for granted that men don't care if their SO finds them PHYSICALLY attractive.

We tell this to ugly kids so that they don't feel bad about themselves and in order to increase their confidence a bit because trying to find love is better than giving up without even giving it a chance, but that doesn't mean that we don't care if someone's SO doesn't find them attractive at all.

I often read women mentioning their boyfriend and saying how they thought he was ugly/unattractive when they first met him. If I'd ever hear this from a SO, I'd probably end the relationship. I don't think a relationship can work long-term if there is no physical attraction (but please, let's not get into that debate, this isn't the subject matter).

But that's important because being attracted to someone's personality can also increase their physical attraction. They can learn to love your flaws. Like a halo effect but in the other direction.

For example I am cross eyed and have a crooked nose and that's usually considered ugly, but once they get to know me and fall for my personality they think I'm cute and don't see those as flaws anymore.

Similarly if you would have asked women if they would date a dwarf several years ago basically none would have said yes, but due to game of thrones they can learn to see it in a different light and dwarfs all over the world report having more success now.

Title	CMV: Men want to feel sexy too
Author	AldorRod
Upvotes	31
Comments	202
Date	November 3, 2017 3:09 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7ajzcb/cmv_men_want_to_feel_sexy_too/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-men-want-to-feel-sexy-too.265040 https://theredarchive.com/post/265040

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