Do you think there is anything morally wrong about a woman having a 'sponsor' who (extravagantly) pays for her rent, travel, entertainment in a long-term arrangement? (Assuming there are likely other women and she is informed and consenting.) Is she an example of using excellent girl game?

once_you_go_red · 2017-03-14T20:13:05+00:00

seems like it would only be "excellent girl game" if the guy is someone she would have dated for free

dakru · 2017-03-14T20:07:17+00:00

If she's not lying or misleading him then I don't see why it would be morally wrong. I do think that if she's able to get by in life (or even more than that, live extravagantly) without having to do anything except exist, be at least somewhat attractive, and presumably spend some of her time with this guy, there's a pretty good chance that she won't really develop much as a person (won't be particularly interesting, will have minimal skills, etc.).

This point applies beyond this situation, e.g. it would be the same if a guy's parents paid for his rent, travel, entertainment, etc., with minimal requirements on him to actually do anything, he likely wouldn't develop much as a person or earn much respect.

IamTheWalkingMenu · 2017-03-14T21:59:10+00:00

A sponsor? Lolol. Is that what you call it? She's a prostitute. I think it's grimy and I'd never do it. Morally? Who knows? It's wrong to me and for me.

Idk I think she might be worse than the guy that's buying it.

caesarfecit · 2017-03-14T20:43:04+00:00

I think dishonest prostitution is more of a problem than more honest forms of it.

Many forms of relationships between men and women are prostitution without the name. We all sell ourselves sexually/for sex, and always have. The problems come when people pretend a thing is one thing but it's really another. That's how people get used and hurt.

So yeah, I don't have a problem with consensual sugar daddy relationships, just so long as there's no internal/external deception involved.

mymanwhoreacct · 2017-03-14T21:58:01+00:00

Morally wrong? No. Would a girl that's willing to do that ever make a good partner in the future? Absolutely not.

But I don't think many people understand the reality of the "sugar dating" world you're talking about. It's extremely rare for someone to get all of their expenses paid for and so on. In reality, sugar dating is just non-professional prostitution with some decoration around the edges so the girl can think she's "not really a whore".

Generally, sugar babies in the US are college-aged girls that are paid $200-600 (depending on the local market) once a week to have sex with a 40-60 year old married man in a hotel. Sometimes there's dinner, drinks, etc. as well, usually the "sugar babies" will have more than one "sugar daddy" and will keep them hidden from eachother.

Read through /r/sugarlifestyleforum if you're really curious on how it works today in the real world. Notice how the women are extremely sensitive about any implication that what they're doing is prostitution.

NalkaNalka · 2017-03-14T20:28:37+00:00

It's called "being a mistress" and has been going on for ages. If her girl game was good enough she would be the wife not the mistress.

speak_ur_mind · 2017-03-14T20:26:11+00:00

I literally have a Gay best friend who has men pay for his trips to Europe, Africa and whatnot. It is a bit gross. Even if the genders are reversed.

wub1234 · 2017-03-14T20:33:28+00:00

If someone is stupid or wealthy enough to buy those things then it's personal choice.

shoup88 · 2017-03-14T21:15:11+00:00

No, if they're both informed and consenting then I see no problem with how he spends his money or how she spends her time. Having said that, for a guy looking for a stable LTR, this kind of previous arrangement should be a waaay bigger red flag than N count. She is used to being taken care of, and I'd wonder if she even had the skills to support herself some other way. Not someone I'd want to date.

It's the same as a guy using an escort, except there's more grey area for either person to get hurt or feel ripped off.

GroovyEFS · 2017-03-14T20:08:44+00:00

As long as both sides know what's up I don't see why there'd be any moral issue.

OurThrownAwayDreams · 2017-03-14T20:14:03+00:00

For as long as the man is willing, it's not wrong. Seems like there is a contract between the two, good for them I suppose.

Merger-Arbitrage · 2017-03-14T20:34:18+00:00

A sugar daddy?

goatismycopilot · 2017-03-14T21:47:34+00:00

I cannot imagine TRP having much of an objection to this since they frequently claim to use strategies that are amoral.

DarkLord0chinChin · 2017-03-14T21:53:10+00:00

It's fine, the only problem is that she has to force herself on someone she doesn't necessarily desire

FatPowerlifter · 2017-03-14T23:05:22+00:00

Isn't this just, uh, prostitution?

I guess there is nothing wrong with it per say but it does make the girl nothing but a cumdumpster whore. Worth nothing more than a quick fuck.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-03-14T20:05:26+00:00

why would it be "morally wrong"? what is this morality religion you all espouse

tiposk · 2017-03-14T20:32:30+00:00

No. Women are hypergamous creatures that aspire to dry men out of their resources. If we accept TRPs "truth" that promiscuous men are high value, we also need to accept that women with a long list of sugar daddies must be high value as well.

RockinSocksReborn · 2017-03-14T21:36:37+00:00

They've both made their choices as consenting adults, so who cares?

the_calibre_cat · 2017-03-14T22:18:45+00:00

No. I'd almost never do this unless I was rich, and a.) she was hot and I was being repaid with sex and/or a pseudo-partner to attend social functions with, or b.) I cared very, very, deeply about her, but she was not a blood relative and was otherwise an independent woman. Nothing morally wrong there, and in case a, definitely an example of using excellent girl game.

I should point out, billions of years of evolution has made "excellent girl game" a largely aesthetic competition.

Jex117 · 2017-03-15T01:10:53+00:00

Ever watched on documentaries on Prostitutes? They all talk about how common it is for guys to ask for the 'Girlfriend Experience.'

That's really all that's going on with there sugar daddy / sugar baby relationships. They're just hookers & johns, but for some reason, we distinguish it as somehow being different than escorting.

raginghamster · 2017-03-15T01:57:32+00:00

No, unless she is being forced against her will. I'm sure there are plenty of 'incel' or otherwise lazy guys out there that benefit from 'adult services.'

Would I have a ons with one? If she's clean why not. Would I date one? Probably not.

Is it good female strategy to utilize your most powerful asset for money? Yes, I suppose in the short-term it's a great strategy. But due to the way prostitutes make less money as they age- it makes a poor long-term strategy without an exit plan.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2017-03-14T20:18:42+00:00

So she's a hooker?

Yeah that seems fine as long as both are ok with it. And adults.

Electra_Cute · 2017-03-14T19:59:59+00:00

No, there is nothing wrong with it morally.

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TheChemist158 · 2017-03-14T20:46:27+00:00

So long as both the girl and the sponser know what it is, I see nothing wrong with it. I don't know if I would call it good girl game. A sugar baby/daddy relationship isn't exactly full of romance or for everyone. I'd say it is like having a live in prostitute, which might be better or worse than a escort, depending on your complaints. I'd say it is worse and wouldn't date a gut who use to have a sugar babby.

redmachines · 2017-03-14T21:13:01+00:00

No. But seeing how 99% of heterosexual males cannot entertain such an option, I would call this situation unfair as opposed to wrong.

despisedlove2 · 2017-03-14T22:23:39+00:00

Since the bigger fiscal upside is always for a wife, hard to argue that this is evidence of girl game.

He is purchasing her services. She is providing them and knows that he does the same elsewhere. Consenting adults, none of my business.

I just would not want to date such a woman if I were dating.

sunkindonut149 · 2017-03-14T22:36:42+00:00

No, I'm not a SWERF.

GinSmokeLies · 2017-03-14T22:47:38+00:00

Nothing morally wrong with it if everything is above board. The idea that two consenting adults making a deal that affects literally no one but the two of them could be "morally wrong" is mind-bendingly weird to me.

Is it good girl game? Eh. I'd say no because it's short-sighted. This isn't a sustainable long-term strategy.

Averagegirl101 · 2017-03-15T01:09:43+00:00

I don't understand. If I could find myself some rich guy who wanted to lavish me with gifts, I would MARRY the man. And if he had some fatal personality trait or was hideous, I wouldn't want to sleep with him or marry him. And if he was cheating or not interested in commitment, I wouldn't want to marry him or sleep with him.

DashneDK2 · 2017-03-15T08:07:52+00:00

A whore by any other name. Not morally wrong, but not "girl game" either. Just good old exchange of sex for money.

rreliable · 2017-03-15T17:14:36+00:00

Does she stop seeing him if he stops paying?

If so, your question is simply "is prostitution wrong?"

To which I say no, but even if I had crazy money, I'd likely stick solely to women who have sex for reasons other than money.

fetchyminx · 2017-03-14T21:08:31+00:00

It's called being lazy

rufflethesefeathers · 2017-03-15T01:04:30+00:00

So you think against your class interests? .... how intelligent /s

trpobserver · 2017-03-15T01:48:29+00:00

Its not morally wrong at all, but it paints me a decent picture of her character.

stonepimpletilists · 2017-03-15T15:13:27+00:00

Will never be something I participate in.

Don't care.

If you brag about it to me, I will treat you like a prostitute though, and for good reason. And not in the good, leave you in the boot of my car kind of way, more like the 'you're here for vagina only' way that makes them shower and cry all the time.

Scurvemuch · 2017-03-15T18:40:27+00:00

So... marriage?

winterrider · 2017-03-16T07:21:54+00:00

I say more power to them as long as they are both consenting adults. I wouldn't marry a whore but they do provide a necessary service for lonely men.

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