What are the lies that society tell us in regards to dating/sex?

disposable_pants · 2017-02-03T09:21:23+00:00

That you shouldn't be the bad boy because he gets his comeuppance in the end

purpleppp · 2017-02-03T10:03:31+00:00

In all honesty I am not sure average or ugly-looking people can all ever be happy relationship-wise, and the lie is that they are/can be.

Uglier women are still hypergamous and may never be happy with the partner they have to 'settle' for. Uglier men may desire a better-looking girlfriend and somehow resent the fact they had to 'settle' for an average one. In fact, because men have less choice they might also resent that they have to settle for the girl who accepts to go out with then, even though she might not be the great looks AND personality-wise.

I think many people stay in a relationship because they have no choice, not because they have found a truly special person.

Aaren_Augustine · 2017-02-03T12:08:45+00:00

A woman's sexual history doesn't matter. Its in the past.......

DrunkGirl69 · 2017-02-03T14:54:10+00:00

1) That women are sexually attracted to nice, kind, affable, good-natured men. That nice, kind, good, and supplicating are panty-wetters. (Actually this is one that has really been debunked in recent years; but feminists and pretty much all of society advanced this as absolute truth when I was coming up in the 70s and 80s.)

2) That "Friends First" is always the way to go for men to meet women. Be her really good friend first; and then she will get sexually attracted to you. She'll see what a great guy you are.

3) That you should "just be nice and just be yourself, and someday a woman will love you just for who you are".

4) "Don't change. You don't need to change. If you change you'll be seen as fake, and girls hate fake men."

5) Girls hate bad boys, assholes, and good looking players and cads. The only kinds of girls who like those kinds of men are girls who are slutty, crazy, stupid, broken, or damaged. "Good" girls really like good, nice, kind, affable men.

6) Everyone is pretty much honest and above-board about what they like, want and expect from dating, sex and relationships. No one lies about those things.

7) Women are wonderful people. Women will always be honest with you about things, because women never lie. Women especially never lie about sex. Women never lie about rape either. If a woman says she was raped, there is a conclusive and irrebuttable presumption that she was raped, and this MUST be accepted as true. If you will not accept that as true, then you are a misogynist.

8) Women are better people than men are. Women are more moral, more honest, more forthcoming, more caring and nurturing, more socially perceptive, and better at "doing relationships" than men are. Therefore, men should always let women "run the relationship" because they're so much better at it than men are. It doesn't matter if he isn't getting everything he wants from the relationship, because it is more important that the relationship survive than the man gets what he wants. It is more important that she gets what she wants, because she knows better than he does anyway.

9) Girls don't really like sex. The only reasons they have sex are

--because they have to do it to get relationships.

--because they got drunk/high/stoned/temporarily insane and lost control.

--because a bad, evil man duped and tricked her into it.

10) That male looks don't matter (all that much).

EchoZeroEleven · 2017-02-03T14:33:37+00:00

From the principle in high school:

"We have a zero tolerance policy for fighting. If someone fights you, be a man and take it. That's the manly thing to do."

LittleWindowpane · 2017-02-03T13:21:34+00:00

"There's someone for everyone"

Reed_4983 · 2017-02-03T16:36:38+00:00

"Looks don't matter, it's what's inside that counts."

Thankfully I have always been very observant and realized right away that is simply not true. As an adult I came to realize the opposite is actually true; looks are everything.

Best thing I ever did was to learn how to take care of myself physically. Build my body the way I want it to be, learn to dress properly, etc. So many barriers come down after you put in the work.

Your personality counts as well, but if you put forward a slovenly, non-marriage material first impression, people are a lot less interested in discovering more about your personality.

Justapasserby557 · 2017-02-03T09:12:30+00:00

A lot of people try and build up female sexuality into something mystical. "A woman's erogenous zone is her mind" and other shit like that.

Also, "all women are different sexually" is a big lie. They're mostly the same with trivial differences. 9 times out of 10 I can do the same thing more or less and make them cum.

Women get hornier as they get towards 40 is utter bullshit as well. Also that women are supposed to have a similar sex drive to men. My sex drive dwarves any womans , by some distance.

slothsenpai · 2017-02-03T17:52:44+00:00

That muscles are for douchebags and women value intellectual guys instead. Explains why engineering students are slaying it and drunken chavs with an IQ of a brick are sexually repressed on lad holiday trips.

jackandjill22 · 2017-02-03T13:05:03+00:00

"if you're too ambitious you're going to scare away all the men and end up alone."

glad I ignored that advice because as it turns out it's one of my biggest selling points. ¯_(ツ)_/ ¯

terpacct · 2017-02-03T17:40:06+00:00

Any commonly heard platitude along the lines of "Do X and the girls will flock to you".

Fucking hate hearing these. I get the value of self-improvement, don't get me wrong. But unless you're a fucking celebrity or a guy with model-tier looks, girls will pretty much never approach you, let alone "flock" to you. The man has to do 90% of the initiating, from approaching the girl, to getting her number, to taking her on a date, to kissing her, etc.

For the longest time, I bought into the whole "all you gotta do is get hobbies and lift and girls will be lining up for you brah", and that got me nowhere. Only when I actually started putting myself out there and approaching girls did I finally start to get success.

jackandjill22 · 2017-02-03T16:32:00+00:00

That people are rational

DrunkGirl69 · 2017-02-03T19:01:04+00:00

Society tells women that men will be attracted to them more if they have a career, apparently.

Men would rather fuck the 19yp fry girl at Chic-Fil-A than a 30yo lawyer.

[deleted] · 2017-02-03T21:38:58+00:00

"Healthy at every size"/"fat acceptance". You're not healthy, and I don't accept you as beautiful.

Change your diet and start exercising. Your great great grand parents weren't as fat as you, so it's not genetic.

GaiusScaevolus · 2017-02-03T16:16:22+00:00

Just World fallacy and Apex fallacy are two pretty big ones.

Justapasserby557 · 2017-02-03T16:26:47+00:00

That marriage changes your relationship! So many women I talk to say things like "wait till you get married." But then I find out the types of things they fought about, and what it really boils down to is that women are taught that a marriage is somehow more secure and better than a dating relationship.

So they go into it expecting that suddenly the man they married will transform into this super romantic, idealized guy, when really it's the same relationship but with matching rings. Or a lot of women will want to get married more than they want a marriage, if that makes sense, because they think it will make them happy if just any guy marries them after some set timeframe.

brinkleybuzz · 2017-02-03T16:50:29+00:00

The way to get a good woman is to be a good guy.

[deleted] · 2017-02-03T17:47:30+00:00

"Just be yourself" really tops the list. We all know what they mean to say is "be the best possible version of yourself".

"Just lift bro" comes in a close second. Women don't care how strong you are, they care how good you look. If you can deadlift 405lbs but you look like a big fat fuck, you won't get as much attention as the guy doing 225 with he flat stomach. Also, this advice ignores every aspect of human interaction. It is a good starting point though, because all Americans should be getting exercise, everyone looks better when they're in shape, half of feeling good is looking good, and so on.

EliteSpartanRanger · 2017-02-03T20:09:41+00:00

The alpha=good, beta=bad dichotomy.

Five_Decades · 2017-02-04T18:39:22+00:00

That women mostly only care about personality in mates. I heard this or a variation growing up. Men care about looks, women care about personality.

Garbage. Women care about looks, status, resources and a man with alpha and/or beta traits. To the degree that those alpha or beta traits correspond with 'personality', yeah women want them but only if they guy has enough looks, status and resources to be on her radar.

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despisedlove2 · 2017-02-03T13:06:12+00:00

That, and that dating is two way street.

wombatinaburrow · 2017-02-04T01:25:22+00:00

That boys play at love looking for sex, while girls play at sex looking for love.

ClarityofDisaster · 2017-02-09T15:40:20+00:00

Sex: That the first time you have sex, you bleed and it is painful. This was not at all true for me, I quite enjoyed my first time and it wasn't what I was expecting at all.

Dating: That if you're an even average looking woman on an online dating site, you'll be flooded with messages and requests. This is also untrue. I've been told I'm a 7-8 in looks and in 6 months of having a profile up I only received 25 messages (although 172 guys swiped right on that Meet Me option PoF has). Oddly, I sent out a little over 50 messages to guys who I thought were my SMV or conventionally lower, asking them if they'd like to meet for drinks or brunch (my treat) and not even 1/4 of them replied back. Of the ones who did, all but 2 started to immediately pedestalize me (think fedora-tipping, m'lady language, saying I deserved the world, etc) and the other 2 lied about having kids. It was weird, and again not at all what I was expecting.

Title	What are the lies that society tell us in regards to dating/sex?
Author	Candy_Kittens
Upvotes	3
Comments	194
Date	February 3, 2017 8:16 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5rsqnx/what_are_the_lies_that_society_tell_us_in_regards/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-the-lies-that-society-tell-us-in-regards.270273 https://theredarchive.com/post/270273

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