What does a "healthy" relationship look like?

AlphaFemale9 · 2015-02-22T23:24:02+00:00

Characteristics of a healthy relationship: Honesty, commitment, compassion, mutual respect, good communication, willingness to compromise, fidelity, ability to disagree without tearing each other down, random acts of love, active and fulfilling sex life, etc.

Characteristics of an UNhealthy relationship: emotional manipulation, cheating, screaming, ignoring your partner's feelings and/or concerns, refusing to communicate, thinking only your thoughts and feelings matter, forcing separation when you don't want to address problems, etc.

I also think that equality is a necessary part of a healthy relationship. We are all human beings, and if one human being thinks they are inherently superior to the other human being in the relationship due to gender alone, that's a recipe for unhealthy manipulation and emotional abuse to occur, as the 'superior' party can more easily justify their otherwise unacceptable behavior.

ALexusOhHaiNyan · 2015-02-23T02:04:26+00:00

"Marriage is about learning to think for two people" was the best advice I ever heard on relationships.

The crucial element to a healthy patnership is empathy - the thing most lacking on the outskirts of this battle of the sexes that dominates the internet (TRP vs Tumblr/SJW). Think about that for a moment - it's hardly a coincidence.

Because the fact is - the majority of us are just in the middle trying to get by. Find love, family, and a little happiness. TRP/SGW dominates the internet not real life. Can you imagine trying to hang out with one of those assholes? I'll be damned if I've met any of these SJW hags or RP Sociopaths in real life - because in real life, those people are avoided.

Repeat after me "The internet isn't real. The internet isn't real..."

strongalfalfa · 2015-02-23T03:16:01+00:00

One with honesty, openness, and equality. One in which a man isn't afraid to show his vulnerable side to a woman. One in which a man is honest about his intentions and goals, instead of being manipulative and deceitful.

GerudoSheikah · 2015-02-23T02:55:11+00:00

Compromise and always thinking of the other person as well as yourself. Don't over analyze everything as a shit test or some kind of power play. Make sure you genuinely love and care about each other, and show it in any way you know how.

In my relationship, all decisions are talked about between the two of us. If we can't agree on a course of action, we compromise. There is no leader in our relationship. We are equal partners. It really works best that way for us.

meowwschwitz · 2015-02-23T06:49:46+00:00

My parents have a really profound relationship that I strive for. So, I'll use them to describe my belief of what constitutes a healthy relationship.

A bit of background, my "Dad" is actually my Step Father. My Mom and biological Father divorced when I was young. He was emotionally manipulative, jealous, and abusive. This perspective is not mine alone. He was entitled to visitation rights until I was thirteen. My Mom has never talked about their past. I heard about it from him attempting to cast her as a villain and from his exwives. The two failed marriages he had after my Mom were for the reasons I mentioned above. I stayed close to my two step-moms though had to cut all contact from him due to his manipulative and abusive tendencies.

My parents married when I was three. My Dad took my sister and I in as if we were his own. My Mom is extremely independent, understandably so given her upbringing and past. My Dad ASKED her to quit her job and become a full time Mom. Every decision they make, they make as a team and discuss it in order to come to a final decision. They're a unit that operates as a pair.

When my Mom was diagnosed with breasts cancer, I saw my Dad cry for the first time. He was completely open and vulnerable about his worry and fear to his daughters. When my Mom went to visit my Grandparents, my Dad stayed home due to work. He was very lost without her. His coworkers used to joke with me about how down he would become when she left, even for a few days. He wasn't afraid to admit and show his appreciation for her. The same is true with my Mom. Dad's job was demanding and Mom spent many weeks "holding down the fort" while he was gone. This was the time before cell phones, but they would plan a time each night to talk. Communication was a priority. Trust was valued.

One time, my Dad's job was taking him to another location for a short, predetermined amount of time. Typically, we would simply move to the new location while he was working but this one was for eight months and we knew we'd be coming back so Dad and Mom talked about it and it was decided he'd move alone into a temporary rental. He sent my Mom a card every day with the same lyrics to their song written in it. She still has the cards in an old shoe box under the bed. Difficult times were tackled together and love and support got them through it.

My Mom makes my Dad lunch every day. Each day she puts a little love note in his bag with it. Small reminders of affection were appreciated. Taking note of small things, such as my Dad hates carrots so my Mom removes any from his plate before dinner, were never expected but always a pleasant surprise for remembering and taking the effort.

My Mom still blushes when he compliments her. They hold hands in public. They sneakily steal kisses from the other. My Mom giggles like a kid when he tells a joke. They work on their relationship actively and together to foster romance. No dread games.

They both appreciate, nurture, trust, and build love with the other.

Side note:Their relationship is more than likely what TRP would label as completely Bluepill. Which makes me somewhat chuckle. Both of their previous marriages would be described as Redpill from what I've read of TRP and RPW. (With the exception of my biological Dad's physical abuse.) Neither were happy and both left their previous marriages. They've now been married for over twenty years and still fall in love again every day. I want that so I follow their example.

RobotPartsCorp · 2015-02-23T17:01:12+00:00

A healthy relationship isn't a battle. It is two people who are on the same side, who have each others backs, who are a partnership working together to make a relationship beneficial and awesome to the both of them. Conflicts can arise but it depends on how they handle it which matters. They hear each other out and empathize with one another.

They both want each other physically, and are each others best friend. They actually enjoy each other and love to be around one another. They have fun!

Neither one of them is on a pedestal, yet, they trust each other and would give each other the benefit of the doubt because they know they both have the best intentions towards each other.

When things aren't perfect, they talk and ask what they both can do to work on it. They treat each other with kindness and respect, while being open and honest.

They understand each others strengths and weaknesses, and utilize those strengths in each other to build the relationship stronger, rather than being dependent on gender roles.

This is how my parents relationship is. I use it as a model for my own. I feel my boyfriend and I have this type of relationship. I also feel like the relationships I see in my social circle that work...are like this as well.

some_pill · 2015-02-23T19:47:41+00:00

Got to MRP. The exact opposite of everything that is there.

relationshipdownvote · 2015-02-23T01:16:37+00:00

Well, it won't have the massive power plays that TRP relationships are prone to. Narcissism is also kept to relatively low levels, which is something TRP, as well as the women that Terpers attract, clearly have trouble with.

powerkick · 2015-02-23T03:07:23+00:00

Not letting petty insecurities or gender fear get in the way of your trust and faith in your relationship partner.

If you're letting that stuff get to you that deeply, you shouldn't be dating.

wazzup987 · 2015-02-23T01:56:30+00:00

Not viewing every thing as power play helps. taking people at face value rather than with suspicious helps.

I Mean just with these to traits i can tell the kind of woman a terper will end up with.

Not seeing a woman as worthy of trust or constantly viewing them with suspicion. Guess what type of woman this will attract? a woman that isn't worthy of trust because they have internalize that and expect men to not trust them probably rightly.

If you view every thing as a power play then you are going to attract a woman who is either completely submissive or a woman who you will constantly be in conflict with.

Your beliefs more than your standards and values determine who will date you. you will almost always date some one who has the same beliefs as you weather you or they realize it or not.

Sansa_Culotte_ · 2015-02-23T18:08:27+00:00

A relationship based on reciprocal exchanges, rather than transactional ones.

A relationship based on mutual affection, rather than one partner putting the other on a pedestal.

A relationship based on honesty and mutual support, rather than trying to one-up one another with mind games and emotional manipulation.

SoldierGenerale · 2015-02-23T03:36:02+00:00

A perfectly healthy relationship for one individual might not be the same for another.

I saw on Dr. Phil a woman that wanted her man to make every single choice in her life. From choosing what to wear, to what to eat and when to have sex etc. Essentially she was a slave. That might not seem healthy to other people, but hey if it works for them. Who are we to judge?

thereddespair · 2015-02-24T00:05:35+00:00

healthy: both parties involved are happy

Plugawy_Nedznik · 2015-02-24T10:40:07+00:00

Have you ever seen a yoghurt commercial? I imagine it looks like that.

But I can only imagine, since I don't think that model actually exists in any statistically significant amount.

TheGreasyPole · 2015-03-07T23:54:25+00:00

No one on trp says "I use to be great with women and had several healthy relationships that ended on good terms.. I thought I had it all but trp improved my life so much more!".

That description pretty much nailed my situation

Rai900 · 2015-02-23T06:08:43+00:00

Women are not inherently evil. I think they're inherently flakey and unrealistic. Relationships are harder for men than it is for women due to the fact men place more on their relations than women. While women are fickle with their relationships unless the man consistently provides her with things to make her feel good. Such as materials. As a result men are taught on TRP to be as fleeting and whimsical as women. Not bitter or manipulative.

CursedLemon · 2015-02-23T18:58:46+00:00

Given that about 95% of relationships eventually fail...

Title	What does a "healthy" relationship look like?
Author	fizolof
Upvotes	30
Comments	126
Date	February 22, 2015 11:07 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2wt55y/what_does_a_healthy_relationship_look_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-does-a-healthy-relationship-look-like.283355 https://theredarchive.com/post/283355

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