If your boyfriend asked you to degrade him, would you lose respect/love/interest in him?

Dora_Bowl · 2020-02-21T05:36:41+00:00

I do not know how I would react, but I know it would be negative. That is just too disgusting.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-02-21T05:49:36+00:00

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CREEPYFUCKBOI · 2020-02-21T12:16:22+00:00

I personally would be more into him. However Ive had this happen before and it didnt go well.

First off let me preface by saying i CAN BE a domme so i enjoy having sexual power and control... Okay. Now. Heres a story about how this went to shit for me real fast with one guy.

I met a guy on reddit who was cute and really rich. With good taste. We had common interests and im nerdy so this is rare. (Games & anime.)

We started sleeping together and sharing kinks. He showed me this huge box of womens clothes that he had. He was embarrassed but im cool with this stuff. He had tons of toys. Eventually he starts sharing more demented stories. I told him i thought some fetishes could come from trauma. He loooooved being tied up. He told me he thought being tied might come from a time his 'friends' locked him inside a bed that slides into a wall as a kid.

Fastforward a little time and he tells me about a fantasy where he's tied up by his mistress and she gets a gang of 'n-words' to rape him and run a train on his ass. Im a little alarmed by this fantasy but not that much. Ive been on the internet a long time & ive seen it all. So im pretty hardened to fantasies and it takes more than that to scare me off. At this point in time i wasnt his mistress or anything btw. We werent that close. Even though we were casually sleeping together.

After he tells me about that wild fantasy that's when he starts telling me about cucking fantasies. Which really excites me. Something ive always wanted to do. He told me to bring a guy home and even if he wasnt allowed to be in the same room just listening from the other room would be super hot.

When he told me all this. I was thinking id hit the jackpot & i could finally have a bf who was a downright freak and let me do whatever i wanted.

I was wrong. In fact, trying to cuck him led to a break up.

I started looking for someone online after that and i found a cute guy pretty fast. I was specifically looking for someone conventionally beautiful so i wouldnt scare off my cuck with weird tastes.

I found this 18 year old blond virgin that i can only discribe as a petite lanky twink with the face of an elf. I show him to my cuck & tell him this is the one.

Yea. My cuck is not okay with this guy. Basically thinks hes not masculine enough. The cuck gets so angry over this shit. He literally says to me that i 'must be afraid of a real man'. I tried to explain to the cuck that i just enjoy controling nervous pretty virgins but he HATES it. He pretty much just tells me if the bull is not a muscular dom alpha than he doesnt want to get cucked.

We stopped talking over it actually. We no longer talk. I never got to cucking him either of course.

So when a guy says they want to be submissive they still mean submit only to masculinity. Men dont actually respect feminity enough to submit to it.

Thats just one story out of 100s that made me stop being a domme and start being a submissive. I still havent actually submitted to anyone yet though. But being a domme became so exhasting because i never got what i wanted. I decided i was truely selfish & greedy and therefore should become a submissive instead.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-02-21T06:33:45+00:00

If we genuinely have a great sexual relationship and he wanted to experiment I might give it a whirl to please him, I suppose, but I wouldn’t want to make it a regular thing.

QueenCousland86 · 2020-02-21T05:51:29+00:00

The only thing I would have an issue with is the piss, and that's logistics. Waterproof rubber sheets? Get in the bathtub? Whatever. If that's how you get your jollies, cool, but you're responsible for figuring out how to deal with it.

jigglypuff__0 · 2020-02-21T07:37:39+00:00

Ew. Slapping him and pissing all over is head are two way different things.

And yes, getting oral is also not on par with these things. Attraction is a spectrum.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2020-02-21T12:59:22+00:00

mewacketergi · 2020-02-21T06:12:39+00:00

I am genuinely a sadist, and have done so, overall I didn't really care that much. I wouldn't piss on a guy, but I've slapped/ball-busted/choked and pegged dudes. I lose more respect for a guy when he wants to degrade ME.

edit: I pissed on a guy and forgot about it because it was forgettable and boring

DivaHustlerPrincess · 2020-02-21T05:46:24+00:00

Nah it’s kinky but I wouldn’t want it to be a staple in our sex life. 😅

Texastentialism · 2020-02-21T14:03:36+00:00

NarniaFox · 2020-02-21T09:27:27+00:00

I'm not in this kind of stuff. If he really wanted to do it and couldn't get sexual pleasure without it, we'd probably break up, not because I'd lose respect or love, but because I couldn't fulfill his kink.

2020-02-21T13:05:48+00:00

Actually had the pee conversation with husband. He was joking about urine play, and I went ahead and told him that I would be open to getting peed on or peeing on him. We could take it slow and start urine play while in the shower and then progress.

He said he was really joking and declined.

But, no I would not lose respect for him or love him less became, for me, being monogamous means being more open to new acts with your partner.

As long as monogamy is upheld, I'm open to a lot.

civil_scientist · 2020-02-21T14:27:53+00:00

Nope, I wouldn't be disgusted. The local BDSM community is a huge part of my social life and kinks like these are pretty standard.

It would, however, necessitate a bit of a talk, because I've tried to Top folks in the past and it simply isn't in my DNA, so to speak. If it was something he really needs, we might have to find someone else to fulfill those needs or reconsider the relationship if it must be from his primary partner.

KupaKandy · 2020-02-21T14:49:08+00:00

I would honestly love this. Normally I'm the subby one but if he wanted me to ruin him for the night I'd be so honored.

CatchPhraze · 2020-02-21T16:15:55+00:00

I'd respect him as a good man still assuming he was one. But we'd be sexually incompatible.

Skratt · 2020-02-21T17:21:12+00:00

I'd probably throw up xD

WicGoingAnonymous · 2020-02-21T23:10:25+00:00

We would be incompatible.

2020-02-24T13:17:45+00:00

I like to be on the recieveing end of that stuff so while I wouldn’t lose respect for him as a human being, we wouldn’t be the least bit compatible.

2020-02-21T11:52:14+00:00

'Lose respect' isn't the term I would use. I would find it unattractive, and probably stop dating him.

Iamthegirliam · 2020-02-21T06:20:30+00:00

I would think that there is something wrong with him.

And I would think that's he is abusive or sick I he wanted to degrade me. I don't care if it's a sexual fantasy or kink.

teibe · 2020-02-21T05:38:41+00:00

Yes but the same would be true for any kind of kink, even the non degrading ones. I assume any man with a kink watches porn and I cant respect a man that watches porn.

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Female_urinary_maze · 2020-02-21T11:10:24+00:00

Nsh, it would be no big deal. That kind of conversation is a lot easier when it's between people who are both into BDSM stuff.

The watersports aspect doesn't sound like my cup of tea (whereas the rest is definitely in my wheelhouse), but I might at least try it. I'd certainly never think less of someone for being into that.

That whole conversation would be a bit more hit or miss if your partner seems to be vanilla, but I think it's still worth bringing up. Secrets feel shitty and so does not being sexually satisfied in your relationship. I know it's hard, but at some point you've gotta just get the information out there and see how it turns out. If your SO is judgmental about it she's not a good fit for you anyway.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-02-21T13:28:01+00:00

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Asbelowsoaboveme · 2020-02-21T05:39:17+00:00

Yeah, probably. I want him to be dominant and the one doing the degrading, thank you very much. I’m open to his sexual fantasies that don’t involve me being dominant or put in painful/discomforting/unhygienic situations.

41013 · 2020-02-21T05:41:04+00:00

Nope, but I am lazy...so it wouldn’t be my most favorite thing to do. All that cleanup and upper body exertion, gods!

Same goes for bdsm. So much money, time and cardio/lifting. It’s like having another gym to go to.

urabeshya · 2020-02-21T06:11:49+00:00

I would think he had serious psychological problems.

LadiesHomeCompanion · 2020-02-21T06:43:07+00:00

Yes. Same as if he wanted to degrade me.

cloinkie · 2020-02-21T08:48:49+00:00

I don’t think I would lose respect for him, but rather be touched that he felt safe and trusting enough to share such a personal fantasy with me. I wouldn’t personally be able to fulfill that for him though. If it was something he was just mildly interested in trying I also wouldn’t lose interest. But if it was a major, major part of his sexuality then I might lose interest just because I’d think we might not be that compatible.

Preaddly · 2020-02-21T06:34:27+00:00

We wouldn't be compatible. Better to end it.

flamingoinghome · 2020-02-21T08:34:54+00:00

A boyfriend who wants to be smacked around in bed?

Oh no. I wonder how I'd react to this totally hypothetical situation that's certainly never happened....better plumb the depths of my imagination....

(seriously, the watersports would be a hard limit, but that's it)

nemma88 · 2020-02-21T11:19:09+00:00

No. It's pretty fun except pee'ing bit, I'm pee shy. God it was an awkward attempt.

I see i'm in the minority here though.

Title	If your boyfriend asked you to degrade him, would you lose respect/love/interest in him?
Author	richlad
Upvotes	16
Comments	104
Date	February 21, 2020 5:31 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/f76j93/if_your_boyfriend_asked_you_to_degrade_him_would/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-your-boyfriend-asked-you-to-degrade-him-would.338373 https://theredarchive.com/post/338373

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