It's not that Men get angry that women don't want them, they get angry that women don't respect them

Gravel_Roads · 2020-03-29T12:51:31+00:00

If you go up to strange people and interrupt their day, you should accept that some people don't like to be interrupted and might respond with hostility.

This isn't a gendered thing. You only notice rude responses from women because those are the people you're approaching. But men don't like getting randomly approached by strangers asking them for things, either (ie when strangers ask them for money or cigarettes.)

I was raised by Jehovah's Witnesses (against my will lol), and I can say "rudeness against people offering things you don't want" is 50/50 men and women. When I was forced to try and hand out Watchtowers, I had more women get snooty, but it was only men who thought it was funny to answer the door with a shotgun.

poppy_blu · 2020-03-29T14:29:10+00:00

back when i was first getting into approaching women. i would get all sorts of rejections.

You and every other man on the planet. Only on Reddit do men think approaches are supposed to be 100% guaranteed to close. I’ve hung out with chad types my whole life and they get rejected too. They just shrug it off and keep it moving.

Yeah sometimes women can be rude when they reject you. Sometimes it’s because men don’t take a kind rejection seriously and keep badgering us. Sometimes it’s because she’s having a bad day and isn’t in the mood. Sometimes it’s because she’s just a rude person. But I don’t understand letting someone else rudeness ruin your self esteem.

I drove almost 30 miles to and from work everyday. Not a day goes by that I don’t get someone cutting me off, giving me the finger sometimes even rolling down the window to scream at me. Rarely do I go in a store and not have at least one person walk in front of me or cut my off with their cart. Rarely does a week go by without an unsolicited act of rudeness by a stressed out co worker. You know what if o? Shrug it off. Assume they’re having a bad day or they’re just an ass and let it go.

Pola_Lita · 2020-03-29T13:33:06+00:00

fake nice is what most girls are when they reject you so as not to piss you off. that usually comes off very condescending, like it or not, that's how it comes off.

But who instigated the exchange in the first place? She didn't. If you provoke this sort of response, rather than complaining that it isn't what you wanted, use the information to get a better focus on how you make most women feel.

coconutismyreligion · 2020-03-29T12:49:42+00:00

That's because men dont usually respect women, so we return the favor by not caring.

And by not respcting us I mean in society, as far as undermining us and our expertise, opinions and even personal preferences.

LadyFerretQueen · 2020-03-29T13:08:40+00:00

Here's the thing. Blame pushy men. Seriously, I always felt so bad if I'm rude so most of the time I reject the guy nicely. The problem is, most of the time if you're nice they see that as a sign to try harder and that becomes scary.

You guys have to understand that for us is not just about feeling but we get scared and we feel in danger.

So a lot of women will be rude to protect themselves. It's not fair, I totally understand your frustation but what we need to do is go after the cause, which are pushy men.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-03-29T13:44:06+00:00

If you want respect, be respectable.

alluringjustice · 2020-03-29T16:46:51+00:00

Damn I used to be so, so nice when rejecting men. And they’d take that as a good sign and keep pushing and pushing. I’ve had a few follow me onto buses/trains. Or they’d waste my entire lunch break even though I’ve told them I’m not interested politely. They’ll try to push getting my number/social media to catch up “as friends” when I reject them for a date. It gets quite scary at times.

Now I’ve become a bitch. And I always feel bad about it and my overthinking dumbass will literally lay in bed till like 2am just feeling guilty and hoping I wasn’t too mean to the guy. But it’s just at a point where 90% of these approaches have been horrible experiences for me and I gotta look out for myself.

quokkita · 2020-03-29T13:05:01+00:00

Re: your comment about fake niceness, I think a lot of women do that out of fear. We’ve pretty much all been berated by some random dude at one point or another, called a bitch or a slut out of nowhere. So the fake nice is what women turn to to keep ourselves safe and to minimise conflict.

I’m pretty sure I agree overall about being respectful when turning someone down. It does sound a bit like what you want is approval from the rejector though. Like “I think you are a good dude even though I’m not interested”. But how is she meant to know you’re a good dude?

Out of curiosity: the city I live in has lots of charity tin shakers and or marketing people standing on street corners. They always try to grab you, and my usual response is a half smile and “sorry, not today” in a positive tone. Seems similar to what I’d expect a woman to do when approached in a situation where she doesn’t want to be approached. Would that response be “respectful” in your opinion?

naamshiko · 2020-03-29T14:08:22+00:00

When I go out for a full day I know I’ll get approached by about a dozen guys during the day. Some will holler at me from their car, some will approach me and ask for my number, some will catcall. 99% of the time, their way to approach me isn’t respectful enough that I want to even engage in a conversation. If anything, it feels dehumanizing.

I never take off my headphones whenever I’m outside even when I’m not listening to music, just so I can pretend to ignore the guys who try to talk to me. Why do I not just say that I am not interested to each of them?

First, I am tired. If you’re the 8th guy interrupting me going on in my daily life today the only thing I’ll want you to do is to fuck off.
Second, in most case if I engage conversation (and for many men “no” means engaging conversation), it means they will not let me leave and I will have to get aggressive for them to leave while not knowing if the person in front of me is violent or not.
Thirdly and most important, I don’t OWE it to them. I don’t owe men the time of the day, I don’t owe men a “thank you” over a compliment that is based on their lust for sex 99% of the time. I don’t owe a “no sorry” to any man who asks my number because 1/ I am not sorry 2/ he will ask anyone who even remotely fits his physical standards.

Understand that unless we are at a place that is for socializing (clubs, bar), some people want to be left alone and by approaching me only based on my appearance you have already failed my standard in men by being shallow and approaching women you don’t even know.

If you want women to respect you, start by respecting their own space and boundaries.

superlurkage · 2020-03-29T15:32:15+00:00

There’s an entire sub with 600,000 members, dedicated to the perverted, rude and selfish way men approach women

There’s an entire sub with 100,000 members dedicated to the rude, manipulative and threatening way men react when they don’t get what they want from women

There’s several blogs dedicated to tracking the violent and murderous way men react to rejection

Women here are constantly talking about male violence and how they have been threatened, how they don’t like it, and how it affects their lives

And just like many of the men here, you deny, minimize, and insult our very real concerns

I don’t deny that getting sex is way harder for men. But don’t pretend that getting ones dick wet isn’t a selfish pursuit. Why should someone indulge you if they don’t want to?

mangolover97 · 2020-03-29T15:43:01+00:00

This is great for the guy but terrible for the woman and probably why a lot of women don’t do it. This used to be my rejection style when I first started going out for extended periods of time without my parents. It resulted in my time being wasted, dudes trying to follow me and pushy attempts at trying to persuade me out of my no. Some guys are respectful and will just accept that you said no and move on, many others aren’t. Depending on which kind approaches a woman the most it will impact how she chooses to reject men.

GennyX · 2020-03-29T12:13:43+00:00

If you're going to be rude and bother women whilst thryre trying to go about their day - don't be suprised if they're rude back.

2020-03-29T21:52:45+00:00

that's not respect, that's pity. i would only say something like that to a guy who was such a wreck that it made even me feel embarrassed

kradient · 2020-03-29T12:17:29+00:00

I guess I agree with the thrust of your post (if we’re talking about normal-adjacent men and not angry internet men) BUT I’m not sure what your solution is or even could be. If women don’t respect you then they won’t treat you with respect, and while some women are naturally hyper-empathetic to everyone (including to random street-corner men who chat them up) most women aren’t. Maybe we should subsidize acting classes for women, so they can respond more kindly to approaches? Men get their $1000 corona-bux in cash, women get their $1000 corona-bux in drama school coupons? You guys think men are being lied to now, just wait until this plan comes to fruition.

goatismycopilot · 2020-03-29T12:52:51+00:00

Respect is earned. Everybody should get some basic courtesy because it is a social lubricant and it is often easier to be pleasant than rude.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-03-29T17:17:03+00:00

Respect is earned. And trust me, it often takes A LOT to obtain it.

So fuck off.

boomcheese44 · 2020-03-29T19:22:15+00:00

If you approach respectfully, I always reject nicely. I'm not in the business in treating people like sub-human trash like others are, especially when they are making an effort to do things the right way.

...but lets not pretend that men dont get angry when they are nicely rejected a ton of times either. They do.

GennyX · 2020-03-29T12:10:49+00:00

What is your experience of a disrespectful rejection? Eg, when they were rude, what did they do/say?

M4sterDis4ster · 2020-03-29T12:18:05+00:00

Being rejected is not disrespect. You just got rejected. It is not human right that you can make a lawsuit against her because she rejected you, thus your human rights were violated.

Disrespect from women, as I see it, is that many women think men should be happy to be able to get relationship with women and should accept all her shit no matter what, because at the end of the day, she chose you.

That is disrespect because she sees you as a man without options.

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SILENTSAM69 · 2020-03-29T15:38:44+00:00

Society cares about women, and their problems.

Society laughs at men, and their problems.

So men with problems hate that women have things so easy while no one gives a shit and laughs at men untill they kill themselves. They hate seeing the privileged being the only ones given a hand.

siberiansummer · 2020-03-30T04:34:09+00:00

I'm a woman and I agree with you actually! Men rarely approach me, they stare from afar usually (I catch it every day). When a guy does approach I automatically give him credit for building up some courage. I try to be as nice as I can about the rejection.. With that being said women who are rude to you - they likely have low self esteem (unless you are rude/creepy when you approach cause in that case I'd be rude too, it happened a lot in my bartending days)

Pola_Lita · 2020-03-29T13:04:15+00:00

[deleted]

dylang92 · 2020-03-29T14:11:46+00:00

I am going to be honest, I could care less if women respected me, as long as they found me attractive.

There was this dude I knew of in college through a few people. He was on the swim team, and was the definition of attractive. He was 6’3 and the kind of attractive that most women would agree that he is. He was a known slur shamer too, like after he hooked up with a girl he’d just start exclaiming to the boys what a slut that girl was after he got sex from her. Worst thing was that most people on campus knew this, and women would talk shit about him. However, his n count would continue to grow and with attractive women. So yeah it’s not like the “disrespect” was stopping him from getting laid, who needs respect when you got plenty of girls who are willing to respond to your “u up?” text?

DaysAreCounted · 2020-03-29T17:40:38+00:00

Your title display two non mutually exclusive factors.

Said that, I can partially agree on the second being no less relevant than the first.

RahLyt · 2020-03-29T17:44:35+00:00

Bruv just do you, stop trying to get validation from these girls. Not worth it.

Deep_Sushi · 2020-03-31T09:15:45+00:00

It's cause the pendulum is still in full swing towards women

They literally haven't learned to control themselves with their new found freedom by shutting the fuck up like men have to, at their own peril

Title	It's not that Men get angry that women don't want them, they get angry that women don't respect them
Author	iamgroot333
Upvotes	24
Comments	168
Date	March 29, 2020 11:55 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/fr4spq/its_not_that_men_get_angry_that_women_dont_want/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/its-not-that-men-get-angry-that-women-dont-want.358406 https://theredarchive.com/post/358406

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