I'm approaching 70. I was raised in the 1950's when men in the U.S. were heroic and admired for winning the war. Women stayed home and were the homemakers and the man supported the family. Economics were very different then. I married in the 1970's and people lived well on $2.50 per hour. I'm talking renting a home (not an apartment) and still having money for food and a car. Everything was cheap.
Before I married, I inherited a family home. Free and clear of any mortgage. Very fortunate and unusual at my young age. I married a 19 yr old girl when I was 22 because that's what everyone did back then. Had a couple of kids and the wife worked not at all, or only part-time. After 14 years she decided she didn't want to be married any more. She held none, nor contributed, any of our financial assets, but received 50% of everything I owned including what retirement funds I had put aside. I had to sell the home in the divorce. She received enough money to buy a new home with cash and immediately moved her boyfriend in with her and my kids. Even though I had joint physical custody and "dadded" my kids 50% of the time, I still had to pay a third of my income to her for child support - why?....because she had very little earnings history. This went on for 14 years until my youngest turned 18.
This woman has never thanked me.
After my divorce, I was still in the white-knight mode. I couldn't get that 1950's indoctrination out of my head. No awareness at all. Always saving women with no assets. But, I managed to involve myself with women without kids. Still, I would always wind up caring for them financially and it always ended in disaster. Particularly since the women I dated (and foolishly lived with early on) weren't interested in having kids, they all rode the cock carousel into their 40's and if they thought you weren't going to be trapped, they'd move on to find the one that would permanently commit assets to them. They're not stupid - they're looking for security in later years. They hit the wall very quickly. I don't think any of that has changed.
It's taken me a lot of years my friends. You have an opportunity. Men are devalued today. Use that to your advantage to break the cycle. Build your break-out. I'd like to see some of these similar tales from my wizened seniors. Peace.
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