Doesn't want a relationship but calls every day?

shakethat_milkshake · 2020-08-12T21:02:39+00:00

He wants the benefit of your kindness, willingness to listen, patience, etc without committing. It means he’s wasting your time.

Summerisle7 · 2020-08-12T21:03:03+00:00

It means you should block his number.

Incredible_Alligator · 2020-08-12T21:08:40+00:00

He's using you for emotional labor.

Lalaland_92 · 2020-08-12T21:14:14+00:00

[deleted]

BasieSkanks · 2020-08-12T21:43:50+00:00

If a guy ever tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, believe him and cut him off. Men can compartmentalise which is why they can act like a boyfriend without wanting to commit to you. It’s an insult to you.

2020-08-12T21:26:45+00:00

Girl I had one of these. He is a former coworker turned friend turned love interest who thinks I’m “amazing” but doesn’t want anything “serious.” I think they want the validation, attention, distraction and free therapy. It doesn’t really matter why though, you know what you have to do.

thighsmatch · 2020-08-12T22:09:14+00:00

Believe it or not, not all men want to use us for sex. Some also want to use us in other ways!

He’s probably bored and you’re his entertainment mixed in with an ego boost. I’ve been on both sides of this equation. The noncommittal one gets all the ego stroking and emotional intimacy of a relationship without any of the hard stuff/commitment. You get... nothing, other than wasting your time emotionally investing in someone who doesn’t respect you.

NewDriverStew · 2020-08-12T21:29:39+00:00

It means that you're too available. Take some of those hours back for yourself and your interests.

Queencake504 · 2020-08-12T21:46:01+00:00

When he says he dosen't want a relationship, please believe him.Dont make the same mistake i did and take being used emotionally as a relationship. He's hoping you'll stick around in hopes of changing his mind .He will use you up and discard you when he's bored.He's trash.He dosen't want a relationship ,yet has no issue with reaping the benefits of your emotional labor.

Sekina7 · 2020-08-12T22:10:52+00:00

Drop him and NEVER underestimate how much men value the "GF" experience (it is one of the most requested services to sex workers ) without the commitment of that level of care and nurturing from a woman-plus men know that women can get attached via emotionally bonding and investing with them. It also gives the impression that you don't have anything better to do /and no better offers. NEXT HIM.

catsuramen · 2020-08-12T22:13:09+00:00

It means he sees you as a masturbation toy but for emotions. Basically, an emotional cum dumpster.

Sorry.

RiteWriter · 2020-08-12T21:53:36+00:00

I had one of these but more loose and my bare minimum was consistency, respect, & there be some feelings between us & it is all even — long as we communicate.

😂🤡🤡🤡🤡😂😂😂 It never works out because any trace of emotional investment means omglikeItotallywannamarryyouRN to these guys—the more you clarify, the more they call you crazy for wanting the bare minimum and they go hot & cold & gaslight you & so you blame yourself and your emotions & re-trigger old wounds & it becomes self-fulfilling in the worst ways

I clowned myself into thinking maybe I was falling for the guy but it was life stuff + this bs on his end when I had been totally honest

Fun times

At least reclaim some of those hours

No matter how you try to frame it as “well it is ok if it does not go anywhere; it is life and it feels nice” — men are not mature enough for this; they pull the above bs

Hedy__Lamarr · 2020-08-13T00:02:19+00:00

Unless you're okay with spending hours on the phone talking with someone who has no feelings for you (and never will), you need to stop talking to him.

You're setting yourself up for an ugly reality check in the future. Back away now. Don't get emotionally invested in someone who doesn't care about you.

BaffledBazaar · 2020-08-12T22:35:27+00:00

He says he doesn't want a relarionship

He doesn't want a relationship. If he liked you, he would confess and commit to making LDR work. I've been in a similar situation, "He says he's not available but he talks to me every day so he must like me" and it went nowhere. Well, he eventually started dating someone else 🙃

2020-08-12T22:22:01+00:00

[deleted]

BellaBadB · 2020-08-12T21:13:33+00:00

He's just bored. Your time is too valuable to be giving hours of it away on the phone to him, it can also create a false sense of intimacy and attachment. Block him

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-08-12T23:27:15+00:00

You’re wasting a lot of time on the phone every day with someone who’s been very up front about not wanting a relationship.

vmuzondi · 2020-08-13T02:09:30+00:00

He’s bored and wants attention. I suggest you block him before you create a premature connection with him. The longer you talk to him the more you brain will create a false sense of security. You’ll ultimately end up heart broken once he ghosts or starts bread crumbing you.

ldonnawho · 2020-08-12T21:23:17+00:00

It means you should not waste hours on him lol

You don't have to block him if you have the self control to not pick up his calls but definitely no more hours of chatting with a man that doesn't wanna date you

CassieGreen85 · 2020-08-13T03:21:16+00:00

Read the handbook NOW, your life will change for the better.

He's using you as a free therapist and ego booster, not to mention he only reaches out for you whenever he's bored and free.

Do you wanna waste your time, emotional and mental energy for free?

gursky0 · 2020-08-13T01:20:21+00:00

It means he doesn't want a relationship with you. He does want to be able to use you for whatever he can milk from you i.e. free therapy.

KetoKittenAround · 2020-08-13T01:33:39+00:00

The handbook. Read it.

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2020-08-13T06:24:25+00:00

If you're confused then he's not interested.

achelois_healer · 2020-08-13T01:55:08+00:00

Listen to every single comment here. Stop wasting your time and find someone that actually wants to be in a relationship with you. You will not get the hours/time spent lost on him.

GIfuckingJane · 2020-08-13T06:50:51+00:00

1) do you have a Bachelors degree?

2) do you have a Masters degree?

3) do you have a PhD?

4) do you have the body and mind you want?

5) are you married to the love of your life?

If you answered no to any of these questions, pls pour your limited energy to getting something that benefits you and provides a return on your precious time. This guy will not give you a yes on any question #1-5.

fortnitehead · 2020-08-12T23:47:31+00:00

Wasting your time

lilithdianara · 2020-08-13T10:02:38+00:00

You’re in a situationship. He’s leading you on and using you for free emotional labor. Block and never look back. You deserve better.

CassieGreen85 · 2020-08-14T02:11:26+00:00

I was checking your posts, and 8 months ago you broke up with a dude. Then 5 months ago you broke up with another dude, and then 4 months ago you started chatting a guy at the beginning of the quarantine. I'm not sure if this is the same guy from 4 months ago. I'm seeing a pattern here.

You should stop dating (including texts, calls, video calls) for a while and focus on yourself. It doesn't seem you're applying FDS to your life as much as you need it. Focus on yourself, level up, find yourself.

AquaRetro · 2020-08-13T00:46:46+00:00

He doesn't want YOU to have a relationship.

2020-08-13T05:52:46+00:00

it means he's using you as a free therapist and emotional sponge, aka BLOCK AND DELETE

ChristianGirl93 · 2020-08-13T01:23:06+00:00

That’s a damn cruise ship WTH?! Block. Also he probably a drug dealer or a trafficker or retired- who got that time?

cirrus_cloud · 2020-08-13T02:22:55+00:00

Gurl. Don’t waste your time giving this man your valuable time and emotional labor when he’s not contributing a meaningful presence in your life!!

Pasdepromesses · 2020-08-13T06:18:59+00:00

It means that he’s just bored and uses you as an ego stroke, free psychologist, pass time and probably to do some of his emotional labour for him as well.

It also means that you are way to available and should really really read the handbook. Please use all this time and energy on yourself instead of on a man who actually told you he doesn’t even want you.

2020-08-13T17:26:25+00:00

[removed]

Flufferly · 2020-08-13T06:33:13+00:00

It means you're still picking up the phone. He's already said he doesn't want a relationship, STOP TRYING TO FIGURE HIM OUT.

Title	Doesn't want a relationship but calls every day?
Author	Lalaland_92
Upvotes	34
Comments	81
Date	August 12, 2020 8:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i8lsp0/doesnt_want_a_relationship_but_calls_every_day/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/doesnt-want-a-relationship-but-calls-every-day.54783 https://theredarchive.com/post/54783

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