Enough stories about LVM! Tell us a good experience you had with HVM :)

blackopium777 · 2020-02-27T18:14:34+00:00

My husband had birthday a couple of days ago. Since we have a newborn at home, I told him to go out with his friends, so he can relax a bit for his birthday (he does basically everything but breastfeed the baby so I can heal properly from giving birth) This absolutely wonderful human being went out with his friends for 2 hours to eat something, came back home with food for me and some flowers, then spent the rest of the day with me and our son. On HIS birthday. This is where his priorities are. Our little family is the most important thing to him and I couldnt be more thankful for the support and love he gives us!

PeopleareCute · 2020-02-27T17:04:59+00:00

I was supposed to go into the big city where the guy I am seeing lives for a dinner date, but a strange series of events meant I had to go to the ER instead. I texted to let him know that I wasn't going to be able to get to our date, and said that I would offer to feed him but I had nothing at my house. Then my phone died and I was stuck at the ER for five hours. When I got home my shelf was stocked with groceries - my roommate had let the guy in, and apparently he had waited for a few hours but was starting to worry so had left my house to go check on me in the ER. I charged my phone and called him as quick as I could to apologize for the whole situation, he said he was just glad that I was okay, then he came back to my house and made me dinner with some of the groceries he'd bought

masterofthebarkarts · 2020-02-27T17:21:18+00:00

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Chandira143 · 2020-02-27T18:53:24+00:00

I could tell a million little stories but nothing sums it up better than this.

I watched my HVM care for my father while he was dying from cancer on home hospice. He was loving and committed to helping him. He would talk softly to my father and tell him not to worry about me because he would always be there to care for me. Now THAT is a HVM.

MelissaSchmidty · 2020-02-27T17:55:20+00:00

My husband is a HVM.

When we met he had asked his job to transfer him back to where his family lived. After we'd been dating two weeks he called his district manager and said, "I'm no longer transferable."

He came into my work on day to play pool with a coworker. He left for a few minutes to take a smoke break and when he came back, mentioned that he had cleaned the snow off my car. Anyone who lives in the midwest knows that that's true love. (It's still my favorite act of kindness. If he's in the shower getting ready for work, I'll go outside and clear off his car.)

He works full time and I work part time from home and watch the kids, but he gets up in the morning from 7-9am and gets the kids dressed, fed, and a pot of coffee made for when I wake up, and then he goes and lays back down to get a quick nap before work. This allows him to get quality time with the kiddos because he doesn't come back home until they're sound asleep.

hungrylemon · 2020-02-27T16:54:38+00:00

While my father was serving in Iraq, he bought a painting of a woman in a purple dress. The woman was beautiful, she was carrying a big water jug up through a hill, she had sweat on her forehead, she was in pain; but she was laughing and smiling, while looking through the top, as if struggles meant nothing to her. He put it on the main wall of our living room.

Later I learned that he bought that painting because the woman reminded him of my mother; not just physically (my mother really looks like her), but also he said that it reminded him of my mother's soul.

It was the sweetest thing I've learned about their relationship.

Lady_Schmoobleydong · 2020-02-27T17:16:14+00:00

This past Christmas, I had no idea what my husband was going to get me, he’s good at keeping things a surprise. Anywho, on Christmas Day, I saw that he got me a sketch pad and pencils because a few months before I told him that I wanted to get into drawing again. I actually forgot about telling him that. It made me really happy and it’s a reminder that he remembers and continues to listen especially when we get caught up in our own lives.

He’s always been supportive when it comes to me trying new things, I do tend to be flaky and want to try all the things, but he always supports me.

2020-02-27T16:57:38+00:00

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Kirrawynne · 2020-02-27T19:51:12+00:00

My current boyfriend is amazing. He entered into a relationship with me knowing I am disabled from some pretty nasty chronic illnesses. When I’m too weak to drive to his place, he drives an hour to come pick me up and back to his place. (We stay at his place because I live with my mom due to disability payments being 100% below the poverty line and we want privacy.) Of course, he makes the return two hour round trip at the end of the weekend to get me home.

He also literally saved my life. The Saturday night before Christmas, I vomited in my sleep and ended up aspirating. I woke him up by the snoring that ensued. He knew something was wrong because I don’t snore. He called 911 and they helped him help me until the ambulance could get there. He took video and I was down to three breaths per minute. I was discharged Christmas Eve and he got me and my car safely home.

He’s also very much about having traditional male roles as protector and provider. Yeah, I’m smitten. 😊

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-02-27T20:43:23+00:00

I have a male friend (100% platonic, we grew up together and he’s literally family) who knew that I was trying to sell my beat up old car back when I was younger and struggling more. He called me out of the blue and said that since he’d been by a Pick N Pull for work, he had stopped and picked up a few parts that he knew needed fixing on my car and he wanted to help me fix it up (he works on cars) so I could get the highest price possible for it. He also was the one who ended up finding the buyer, and met him with me so I didn’t have to meet a random dude alone at night to sell it. I offered him $100 out of the sale for his time and effort and he repeatedly refused it, saying he just wanted to make sure I was looked out for during the process because he knew I was having a hard time with other things in my life and that was one thing he could actually help with and make an impact in my life.

Literally every other guy I’ve ever been friends with or dated either wouldn’t have even noticed I was struggling (even if I told them) or would expect compensation for their offer/help. I’ve never even had a boyfriend look at my life and offer to support even the tiniest part of it. They expected support from me even while I was going through the worst points of my life.

My grandpa was also this type, when I was young and poor, every time I would go visit him he would “borrow” my car for something and it would come back with a full tank of gas and a fresh oil change, sometimes even tires if it was rainy and mine were old. He didn’t say anything or expect anything back from anyone, he just would quietly take care of everything in the background so the people he cared about were as taken care of and safe as possible. I hope to one day find a partner that has that level of concern and attention to my needs, as I feel that I have that to give in return but don’t want to be the only one doing it. It isn’t the money or time, it’s the thoughtfulness and care that it shows, I shouldn’t have to remind someone and nag them to care.

Thisiswhereilanded1 · 2020-02-27T17:06:47+00:00

My exh knew holidays were important to me and always honored them. He would get meaningful cards and write the most touching things in them. I kept them all.

My dad taught me to seek independence and not have to depend on anyone. He did not treat me any different from my brothers. He was the first to encourage me to become self employed. He said....."daughter, always bet on yourself!" I live those words on a daily basis.

My first exh, upon hearing my split from my 2nd exh because of his alcoholism, offered sincere sorrow and support. Said he would keep us in his prayers.

wawa310 · 2020-02-28T01:34:38+00:00

My HVM is my gay best friend and former roommate. I was working crazy hours at a desk in a big office filled with people and no privacy, and needed to make a gyno appointment, but I was embarrassed to call while at work. So he called and pretended to be me and made the appointment for me. That’s a HVM in my eyes.

Blue85Heron · 2020-02-27T22:14:27+00:00

Just wanted to say thanks for posting this thread. I've been discouraged by a string of LVMs. The comments here remind me that there ARE HVMs in the world worth holding out for.

Sister_Winter · 2020-02-27T19:52:46+00:00

My guy tried to fly from Korea to Canada to taken care of me during my respiratory failure and subsequent double lung transplant this summer. I told him no for a few unrelated reasons, but he was literally almost done buying a ticket when I stopped him. Not even a thought about it, and he gave me a ton of money to support me through it because he couldn't be there physically caring for me. He wanted to take the strain off me and my family.

boooooooooooooooooo · 2020-02-27T18:27:31+00:00

I'm wracking my brain here and honestly can't think of a single thing. I'm 35.

masterofthebarkarts · 2020-02-27T20:22:33+00:00

Man, this might be long...apologies in advance! Obviously I think my husband is pretty HV, even if he isn't perfect:

When we were dating, he told me exactly what his plans were (date for a year, co-habitate for a year, get engaged) and he stuck to them.

He has been involved and excited about all of our "big steps" (getting an apartment, buying our first home, getting married). He is an excellent partner: he doesn't try to boss me around, but he also doesn't hang around waiting for me to do all the work or tell him what to do.

While we were dating and I was out of town, he volunteered to check up on my grampa, who was starting to go downhill physically by that point.

Despite earning almost twice what I make, he has never once made me feel "less than" or used his earnings as a tool of power. When we moved in together, he took over paying most (90%) of the bills; we used my income for our shared savings. We've always been a team.

Furthermore, he does not expect me to do "more" of the housework, cooking, cleaning, etc., just because I work shorter hours and earn less. I end up doing more (he was never taught any domestic skills) BUT he acknowledges my work and is working on himself, AND has already improved and continues to do so. He isn't perfect but he has made real strides (and he got us a house cleaner - smart man).

He goes out of his way to make me happy, even when he's having a hard time.

He works hard in his own career while supporting mine 100%.

He remembers my allergies, even when I forget them (oops!)

When we were looking at houses he insisted on getting something within walking distance for me because he knew he might get moved around and he wanted me to have the convenience of being close to work.

He's wonderful in bed and cares a LOT about whether or not I'm enjoying myself. He listens to what I want and is generous.

He's extremely kind to my family but he also recognizes when they are being toxic and has helped me work on myself and my boundaries with them.

He supports and engages with my friends, even the ones he disagrees with politically.

He treats all people with respect and he is kind to animals.

He's funny as hell and makes me laugh.

He's VERY much my type physically, and he dresses very well.

We've been talking about starting a family soon, and what that might do to our lives (whether I go back to work full time, part time, or not at all). He's ready to support me 100% no matter what I decide to do.

Inaproproo · 2020-02-27T17:40:33+00:00

Dad: Whenever any of us siblings need help moving he will FLY out to us and help. CA, NY, or IN - he will travel thousands of miles to us. Hell even when my sister broke up with her NVM (negative value man) he just said “okay good glad you’re done with him” and spent two days moving her stuff out. He loves us to death and makes it known that our happiness and success in life is his top priority!

Current bf: 3-part Valentines Day surprise. I was home and had just gotten out of the shower, and saw him holding a bouquet of roses and box of chocolates. After we made dinner he surprised me with houseplants; what made everything so special was how he took Chinese culture seriously. Anything in 4 is unlucky, and 8’s are considered lucky. So he got me 8 roses, 8 kinda of chocolates, and 8 plants in total. He’d ordered 4 kinds of houseplants, but the roses counted as the fifth! After dinner we went upstairs and he showed me the 3rd surprise, which was some fun bedroom stuff.

Sister_Winter · 2020-02-27T19:58:28+00:00

My father is an HVM. He's not just really good to his kids; I know plenty of dudes who are good to their life and terrible to their wives. He has always been fully there as a parent 100%, and even though he is the primary breadwinner he has always treated finances as though they were equally owned because they're partners. He shows up for every crisis and supports my mom through every single shitty thing she's had to go through (and it's been a lot). He's as high value as they come and the main reason why I've had sky high standards since my early 20s.

Fitncurly · 2020-02-27T22:45:17+00:00

Most recent was this past Valentine’s Day with my husband. All he said was he had plans to treat me and take us away, and to just be sure to be fancy. Ok. He took the day off, dropped the kids off for the weekend (he made all the babysitting plans), then we drove to one of the, if not THE, fanciest hotel and restaurants in our state. He had dinner reservations ready, and the room was hooked up with some kind of romance package—there was VOSS water complimentary everywhere, champagne chilled and ready, chocolate covered strawberries and a chef’s message in chocolate, and the bed had daintily places long-stem roses all in a row. It was an exquisite suite and the dinner quality was to die for. Also, he booked a couples’ massage at the in-hotel spa. It was all so regal and amazing, I felt like a queen. I didn’t think we could afford it (it was stupid expensive), but he made it happen, and without even a hint of any kind from me. Awesome good man he is 👍🏼

barmitzvahmoney · 2020-02-27T20:00:55+00:00

I developed pelvic pain and sex was extremely painful for me. My boyfriend and I didn’t have sex for a FULL year and not only was he really nice about it the entire time when I brought up him having sex with other people (don’t judge me) he said “I love you. I only want you. I know you will get better some day”

Ms_Tilly · 2020-02-27T18:27:02+00:00

I have an old story. I was on vacation and my debit card wouldn't work. I had no cash and was FREAKING out crying at a bank trying to get them to help me get money from my bank. This guy walked up, asked me how much I needed to get home, and just gave me the money. I took his address and sent him a money order in a matter of days. He wrote me back thanking me and that was that. No ulterior motive. No creepiness.

I like my male coworkers that I've had with my company. None of them are men I would actually date, but none of them have ever made me uncomfortable or acted like they were interested. They treat work like work. Most of the different delivery men are very professional as well. Most of them.

I have an extremely HV married, family man brother and a mostly LV red pilled, always single one, but the LV one is still my bro and doesn't treat me poorly based on his terrible view of women. He also doesn't blabber on too much about how red pilled he is, but it occasionally comes out. Our HV brother calls him out every single time.

My experiences with men at their worst has been online. In real life they are mostly well behaved. However I have never dated a really good man who is also a really good partner. I'm not particularly picky nor are my standards particularly high, but I have had to dump every single one for some reason or other. I haven't been dumped since 7th grade.

charella8 · 2020-02-28T00:31:11+00:00

My father in law and my husband are both HVMs. My mother in law hit her head from a fall a few years back and ended up having a stroke. Her quality of life has really changed and her husband has been her caregiver from day 1. She has difficulty walking and he was able to travel literally to the other side of the world with her for their other sons wedding. He takes care of all the household duties and keeps her motivated with PT and exercise. He was a great father to my husband and I'm so thankful we have him as a role model.

My husband is not the most emphathetic and not the most thoughtful but he is kind, positive and quick to forgive and forget. He is a great provider, an extremely hard worker with endless energy and big dreams, an excellent father and helps whenever I ask. His hobby outside of his FT job is rehabbing and renting properties which will set us up well down the road. He takes on nearly all of household expenses and has taken us on wonderful trips that I would have not gone on without him. He encourages me to be my best and encourages good habits (like maxxing out my 401k since I don't pay any of our mortgages and don't have a car payment). I'm really looking forward to growing a family with him and seeing us grow as parents and a team.

Aurore11 · 2020-02-28T01:30:39+00:00

My fiancé. He supports my idea to start my own business which could be happening very soon. He also wants to start his own business but not that soon, and so far we're both working for other people. The fact that he doesn't feel threatened by the idea of me having my own business before him makes him sooooo high value in my eyes that I can't even begin to express how grateful and happy I am... (before him I wasted years of my life and shut down opportunities for my ex who hated the idea of me progressing in any way).

2020-02-27T23:39:01+00:00

Just the little things. My ex bf was a HVM in so many ways.

He told me at the beginning of the relationship that he didn't care at all about any kind of celebration, from Christmas (not his religion/culture) to Valentine's day to birthdays. He knew I cared, so every Christmas he spent with my family and got everyone a gift. On Valentine's day he'd send me beautiful flowers on my work desk. On my birthday he'd always try to make my day special and give me a very special gift.

His mother can't afford much, so he sends her money every month.

Sometimes he cut his hair very short. He preferred longer hair but knew I liked this haircut and he wanted to look handsome for me.

We lived in different cities, and every time he tried a new place (restaurant, bar, venue, market) that looked good, he added it on a list so we could go when I came to visit. He knew I liked hip/nice places with nice decoration and architecture.

When we broke up, he told my parents we were a beautiful family and to take good care of their daughter.

When we broke up, he told me multiple times that he was worried because he really wanted me to find a man that respected me as much as he did. Even heartbroken, he thought of my well being.

hex_girlfriendd · 2020-02-27T23:59:50+00:00

When I was in my early twenties, I met this guy who played in a punk band. He asked me out and we had an awesome time, continuing to extend the evening by getting a drink, then dinner, then going for a walk, etc. leading to a really great first kiss. But the next day, his band left to go on tour. Even though I said that I didn't care what he did, we had just met, etc., he bought me back a silly little present (cheez whiz in Philadelphia, some tiny maracas at a Mexican restaurant in Boston, etc.) to show me that he was thinking of me in each city they visited.

sweatydeath · 2020-02-28T00:51:09+00:00

I flew 400+ miles to go to a college friend's wedding with my current BF. I got a little too tipsy (lesson learned) and had a horrible hangover the next day. It was so bad, that I couldn't even drink water without puking. My BF walked to a gas station at like 5 AM to get me ginger ale - I didn't ask him to do this!. After I puked for like the 50th time, my BF just brushed the hair from my face and said "I think you're so beautiful".

This guy also gets me flowers every time my bouquet begins to die (so about every 2 weeks). 💕

2020-02-28T05:01:32+00:00

My boss is a hvm. I respect him and his wife so much.

I went on a trip with him and he didn't ask, just grabbed my luggage when I needed to get on or off a bus or stairs. And didn't make me feel like he was trying to be a show off or cool. Just did it like it was nothing.

I usually feel very uncomfortable letting me do things for me because I can tell they are waiting for praise, attention, ECT in exchange. FEELING none of that after he did it made me just feel straight up respect.

His wife has told me about things he does for their young kids, and how he provides for them. She's amazing as well.

He is a good boss. He's never been creepy or weird to me or any of our other Co workers. He leads.

catsuramen · 2020-02-28T06:03:44+00:00

When my mother was sick, my BF cancelled his trip just to stay by my side and making sure I have the transportation to visit my mom.

The biggest of all....he helped rebuild my self confidence. He doesn't just love me, he makes me love myself.

wawa310 · 2020-02-29T02:13:26+00:00

I already gave one HVM comment about a good friend, but really had to think about this for several days. My exes are all exes for a reason, but they weren’t all LVM (or at least not all the time). If they were degenerates, I wouldn’t have dated them for so long.

One ex I had booked flights for us to go to a wedding. He was my guest and he had offered to pay for his flight, but since I was the one inviting him I decided to pay. We broke up before the wedding and he Venmo’d me the $ for the flight without me even asking for it. That is a HVM moment because there was nothing in it for him at that point.

A different ex, while we were dating, I was having a really rough time at work. I was away on a work trip and was yelled at by someone in a position of authority over me, so loudly and in front of so many people, that I had to run to the bathroom and cry. I was so sad and I hated my job, but I was having a hard time finding a new one so I was stuck. After I got back from my work trip, he came over and brought me flowers. I was so sad in that moment, that small gesture meant so much to me. Still, he’s an ex for a reason, and to be honest I wouldn’t call him a HVM, but that was a great HVM MOMENT.

781234567 · 2020-02-28T00:48:24+00:00

I was sleeping over at my boyfriends place and I had to leave very early to get to work I kissed him goodbye and he was clearly half asleep. I go out to my car and it won’t start I’m cranking the engine over and over and nothing. I get out of my car and he’s already walking over in his pajamas with quarters for the meter and his car keys. I took his car and by time I was off work he had bought the part my car needed, a lucky guess on his part, and had already replaced it.

AliceKingsly · 2020-02-27T21:19:03+00:00

He's not a HVM now. But I got into contact with a close guy friend of mine. We had been friends for 4-5 years but stopped being friends for 1-2 years in between that. We instantly connected again and began frequently texting on Instagram. I mean like basically every hour and I would STILL get texts when I was in class even if I couldn't answer at the moment. But what really got me was when he told me that he had to PAY for data every day just to talk to me. He'd buy it in certain amounts for how much he thought he would need for me. He had wifi but his parents (their narcs) would constantly turn it off especially at night and since our time zones were different chances are we would be texting at night. So he went out of his way to do this for me and it's just... No one's ever done that for me before. And we weren't even together or intimate in any way.

Now he's awful. He's definitely not the sweet boy who used to tell me he loved me before our conversations ended. 😔

Title	Enough stories about LVM! Tell us a good experience you had with HVM :)
Author	namelson3005
Upvotes	119
Comments	51
Date	February 27, 2020 4:42 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/faeu3d/enough_stories_about_lvm_tell_us_a_good/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/enough-stories-about-lvm-tell-us-a-good-experience.681406 https://theredarchive.com/post/681406

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