What in your opinion makes a man a man?

JohnDoe9564 · 2020-11-18T09:15:13+00:00

Born with a penis

merlinscalculator · 2020-11-18T11:34:53+00:00

He’s an adult male. I don’t like this categorisation of boys vs men and whenever a grown ass adult male does something dumb people shout THATS A BOY NOT A MAN. Nah that’s just a dumb ass man. ‘A man’ is a neutral term, not a compliment. There are good men, bad men, dumb men, strong men, weak men, rich men, poor men, gay men, virgin men, handsome men, ugly men. They’re all men.

spacechicken1990 · 2020-11-18T09:41:48+00:00

After puberty is finished I.e 20s

Joelypoely88 · 2020-11-18T09:53:39+00:00

The transformative point at which a boy discovers the apparent vanity of existence and thus the potential futility of all human endeavours.

Upmybuttpleasesir · 2020-11-18T10:11:39+00:00

Agency.

NarniaFox · 2020-11-18T10:43:43+00:00

For me a man is an adult person who either was born with male genitalia or considers himself a man.

I don't buy stuff about being a woman/man enough.

Gravel_Roads · 2020-11-18T09:04:52+00:00

It just means that maturity comes with experience. Boys are children, they're fresh out of the box and don't know nothin' from nothin'. With age and experience, they grow into adults, which are "Men".

There is nothing uniquely virtuous that comes from "becoming a man" - some men take all their life experience and become bitter assholes, some men take all their life experience and become strong, dependable creatures of agency. Both are still equally men.

What would you say these qualities are or what they should be? What factors come into play? Income? career? sexual experience? character? wisdom? Do these factors even matter at all?

They matter to the individual. There is no one thing that will matter to any one man, and there is no one thing that should have to matter to all men. This is where personality defines one's priorities. (ie, I'm a dirty hippy artist, so I value emotional intelligence, self-control, creativity, conflict-resolution, self-awareness ect. But I am not "more of a man" than men who like WWF wrestling or war movies. Even if I don't personally value these things, men are equally free to value these things without degrading "manhood".)

At what point can a young male truly call himself a man?

Around age 20 is when people will probably stop laughing at you for doing so. There is no "truely" being a man, you're either an adult, and thus a man, or you are still growing and are thus "not yet a man". Personality features have nothing to do with it. A young boy can have positive masculine traits at age 4; a 50-year old man can still be petty and insecure.

Throwawayforshitt · 2020-11-18T08:59:59+00:00

What factors come into play? Income? career? sexual experience? character? wisdom? Do these factors even matter at all?

Man here-

It's a bit more nebulous than just these factors. It's kind of like "is a person attractive?" You can boil down attractiveness to height, weight, face structure, and so on. But in reality it's a lot more nebulous. "You have it" or you don't. My gf always has said it's a flipped switch, she is attracted to some tall men like me, and unattracted to some others. It depends on the whole package. My extreme forwardness and extraversion aided my more than my physical characteristics, and contributed to a biased view of my attractiveness.

Consequently, manliness is also nebulous. A boy can have a deep voice at 15 without being a man. A boy can be a software engineer making $120k in his moms basement and not be a man. A boy could have had sex 50 times with tinder girls and have awful masculine characteristics. It's a holistic approach, that combines every trait you mentioned and then some. Yes, career, sexual prowess (including dick size, i.e. genetically gifted men are seen as manlier), character, stoicism,.. "A man capable of great violence who has it under voluntary control" (10pts if you can guess who said that), etc.

It's like that old weirdo tradcon senator said one time about pornography: you know it when you see it.

psypD · 2020-11-18T10:10:56+00:00

The moment a human born with a penis starts ignoring whatever society and especially women define as a "real man" is the moment he becomes a man. That quote is truly stupid.

jdobrila · 2020-11-18T10:50:57+00:00

Masculinity.

insertcredit2 · 2020-11-18T10:53:03+00:00

In terms of science a male human who's reached full sexual maturity.

In terms of my personal philosophy a man is someone who's taken responsiblity for all aspects of his life.

Hoopy223 · 2020-11-18T19:43:49+00:00

A better question is “what is a good man”.

IMHO

Believes in something bigger than himself

Useful - fixes things, gets shit done, earns a living etc

Has some sort of moral code

Most Men qualify in their own way.

Physiologist21 · 2020-11-18T21:49:14+00:00

Competence and integrity.

Cimorene86 · 2020-11-18T09:23:43+00:00

A male is someone born with a penis.

A man is someone who identifies as the masculine gender and typically is most comfortable living according to the traits assigned to men in their culture.

Same goes for the difference between female/woman.

passepar2t · 2020-11-18T09:44:08+00:00

Definitely buying into the notion that you have to meet someone else's arbitrary and manipulative goalposts before some outside authority confers manhood on you. That's what's true masculinity is.

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abaxeron · 2020-11-18T11:09:42+00:00

I'm much more aligned with terms "human/male/female condition". We don't strive/achieve being human, man, or woman - we are stuffed into this against our will. Like being locked in a room. Yes, the room has variety of useful tools lying around, and they are usually different for men and women. But what makes you in a room saying "MAN" on its door is not how you use those tools, or if you even know how to use them.

Notsonewguy7 · 2020-11-18T11:37:48+00:00

A person has to have a penis and then go through a series of emotional and biological changes that eventually turns them into an adult in which case I will refer to them as a man. Now if you're asking me what makes a good man I would say stoicism and responsibility but that's me personally.

Bandit174 · 2020-11-18T12:36:41+00:00

I think most of the behavioral/achievement stuff people say like "a real man does x", or "if you don't do x you're not a real man" are just emotional manipulation to shame men into doing what women/society wants based on their benefit and not the individual man's. When it comes to physical stuff it does seem like there are traits that make a man more valuable and afford you special privileges. For example things like being over 6 feet tall, being muscular, having certain facial features, deep voice, and a big dick. Regardless of what people say about everyone being equal it does seem that the further you fall outside of the ideal range the less valuable you are as a man and the more likely you are to be mocked and disrespected even by the same people who virtue signal that those things don't matter.

acron5n5 · 2020-11-18T14:17:16+00:00

P*nis

xFallacyx69 · 2020-11-18T14:50:37+00:00

Who cares. If I listened to other people about how to be a man I’d be a neurotic mess. Fuck what they say, do you. And if she don’t like it, on to the next one.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-11-18T15:48:52+00:00

Me getting up in the morning and taking care of the shit I need to take care of and flipping the bird to anyone (or society as a whole) if and when they have any ideas about what I need to do to "be a real man" in their eyes".

They can poke their eyes out with a fork, for all I care.

In fact, when people tell men to be a "real man" it's a pathetically thinly veiled shaming tactic suggesting that if he FAILS to do what is asked (or demanded) of him, he's simply not a REAL MAN. My answer:

Be a "Real Woman". Be a "Strong Independent Woman^tm"

Aka, fuck off, and get what you need done by yourselves.

rubbooyuri · 2020-11-18T16:04:44+00:00

Acting like an adult and not a child? You know, like the same for women?

Shirley_Schmidthoe · 2020-11-18T17:50:06+00:00

Do these factors even matter at all?

I legitimately do not care.

The only time I use the word "man" which isn't often; I use it in the gender neutral sense.

I only sometimes use the word "male" which is a clearer concept.

no_value_male · 2020-11-18T17:55:16+00:00

A male becomes a man when he has sex the first time. Its the rite of passage in the western world.

EndlessFortune · 2020-11-18T21:06:36+00:00

Masculinity as a scale of how much of a “man” you are is my opinion.

honeydewmelonz · 2020-11-19T02:00:07+00:00

When he has gone through puberty and has a dick.

classicliberal1 · 2020-11-19T04:03:46+00:00

Personally, I don't believe in sex-specific criteria for being a respectable adult. When people use the terms "man" and "boy" to classify adult men as successful or failures, they are implying that there are sex-specific criteria for being a successful adult. I disagree.

To me, being an adult first and foremost means that you are taking care of yourself in all ways: finance, career, housing, health, education, planning for retirement, etc. If you pay your own living expenses and are financially responsible, then you are an adult. The defining characteristic of adulthood is fulfilling the responsibilities of yourself. You may also be responsible for other people, like children or aging parents, but that is not necessary for being an adult.

Two things to consider. First, none of the responsibilities are gender-specific. Both men and women have to pay rent/mortgage, utilities, health insurance, car payments, etc. Second, it is fulfilling these responsibilities, not age, that determines adulthood. I became an adult at the age 20 when I got my first real job and opened by first IRA. That was the point where I took care of myself and was not dependent on my parents. I paid my own way through college, taking various career related jobs, and paid off both my car loan and college loan within six months of graduating. I have never been in debt since.

Since I am financially secure and handle all my responsibilities, I consider myself an adult, or a "man" if you like. I don't accept any other criteria for being a man. I don't have to get married or have kids to be a man. I don't have to join the military or have some social status to be a man. As long as I am not infringing upon the rights of others, there is no action I must perform or hoop I must jump through to be a man.

I can act however I like as long as I'm not infringing upon the rights of others. I can spend my leisure time how I feel fit. I can choose to be active in my community or have no interactions with neighbors. I live and let live. If any person doesn't consider me a man because I don't do something that isn't a responsibility I choose or essential for living, then I don't respect that person. My life is my own, and yours is your own. Aside from the basic responsibilities of life, no person should be forced to take own responsibilities he or she does not want or does not think is a cost worth for whatever end those responsibilities provide.

I'll accept additional responsibilities and fulfill them if and only if the payoff is worth the costs and the risks. For my life, only my assessment matters, and I will rationally assess them. Ultimately each person has a very short life and must make the best use of his or her time in existence. As such, only the values of that person matters for making use of that time. As long as you aren't preventing another from also making the best use of his or her time, you should do what will make you have the fewest regrets when you are on your deathbed.

I haven't died yet, so this is speculation, but I suspect that the biggest regrets people have on their deathbeds are regrets of not doing something. So my attitude is to make sure I do everything I want to experience in life before I die. I've spent time with my family, especially my parents before they died. I've cultivated deep friendships rather than numerous ones. I've explored the ideas of science and the cosmos and evolution because they interest me. I've built a career in software engineering, a field I love because I get to create worlds out of pure logic. I've swam with the dolphins. I've sailed. I've flew in the cockpit of a personal aircraft -- I wasn't piloting, but it was still awesome. I've ridden a motorcycle. I've played Barbies with my nieces at 7 am while half awake and cold, and it was awesome because I was sharing my precious limited time with persons I love and I was privileged to enjoy sharing their precious limited time.

This is what life is really about. Doing what makes you feel fulfilled and spending time with those you really care about. It's the exact opposite of the "friendship and likes currency" on social media. I don't do social media, because it's a waste of the precious, limited time you have. As an adult, I realize what is important in life, and satisfying other people's demands is not important. Ultimately, you own your own life, you alone are responsible to making the most of it, and you alone are the judge of how well you succeeded.

LooseIndication · 2020-11-20T03:17:51+00:00

A man is an individual with XY chromosomes.

“boys are born, while men are made”

It means that men don't mature and do not have market value until they work for it and achieve success.

The phrase is directed at men who believe in the soul mate myth.

The blue pill teaches that men do not have to work to be sexually desirable, and it is only matter of luck to find "the right" woman, which is the woman that will love him.

That is in contra position to the female reality of reaching their maximum desirability and value as teenagers, without doing any work to deserve it.

Because men and women are not equal at all. Men and women are completely different, and are valued by completely different bars.

The blue pill teaches women that "women are made", so women have to get a career to be judged as men. By doing that, women squander their youth, and lose their value.

The blue pill teaches men that men have to be passive, and do not work on themselves to gain value. It makes men believe that they are as good as they will ever be, and cause men to waste their potential.

seehrovoloccip · 2020-11-20T16:23:50+00:00

A pair of testicles

Hard mode:

Balls/adulthood

bearpi728 · 2020-11-22T12:32:32+00:00

A human male being in a monogamous relationship. The term "playboy" but not "playman" exists for some reason.

Mult1Lay3rP3rc3ptr0n · 2020-11-24T18:46:19+00:00

Responsibility.

tall-bear-man · 2020-11-18T09:01:44+00:00

Adult male or transman

thelajestic · 2020-11-18T09:05:14+00:00

I just think, if he's a man he's a man. There isn't one set of characteristics that make a man. Some men are strong, some aren't. Some are career driven, some aren't. Some wear gumboots and overalls and some wear unicorn onesies. There isn't one specific quality or trait that all men have or must have to be men, in my opinion.

Asbelowsoaboveme · 2020-11-18T16:56:50+00:00

A male is anyone with xy chromosomes. A man is any adult who identifies with the masculine gender.

But a Man with a capital M is a natural alpha (cis male) with above average genetic fitness (they express attractive phenotypes) and above average testosterone levels. These biological factors correlate with behaviors we traditionally associate with manliness: courage, self sacrifice, ambition, assertiveness, confidence, competitiveness, persistence. They excel at protecting and providing for their families and are the natural leaders of other men. They use inborn social intelligence and charisma to inspire others to follow their lead, their physical and mental strength keeps them at the top of the hierarchy without having to use coercive force. Men rise to the occasion when life becomes challenging, Men do not cower or complain or say “they can’t”. Men do not deflect blame onto others or try to wish away problems, Men stoically deal with problems head on.

I believe Men are born and then made by life’s struggles to reach their full biological potential. A lowercase man can never became a Man, because what makes someone a Man is genetic. Trans men and men are equally valid, although they cannot compete with an actual Man and shouldn’t expect to.

What in your opinion makes a man a man?

Comments

cancelled

Title	What in your opinion makes a man a man?
Author	Mayhem977
Upvotes	3
Comments	63
Date	November 18, 2020 8:53 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/jwcfbh/what_in_your_opinion_makes_a_man_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-in-your-opinion-makes-a-man-a-man.727278 https://theredarchive.com/post/727278