Men find their 'bromances' are MORE emotionally rewarding than relationships with their wives and girlfriends

LordCharidarn · 2017-10-12T17:46:16+00:00

This quote struck me:

"Male friendships used to be considered lacking in many of the qualities seen in close female friendships, particularly emotional and physical intimacy.

But this has changed in recent years, the study found, with young men ‘openly pronounce love’ to their male friends in a way that would be socially prohibited in previous years, partly out of fear of appearing gay."

My male friends and I were always physically intimate; if you count jostling, playful wrestling and other affectionate aggressions (play-fighting: apparently it's adorable when kittens and puppies do it, but with young boys it is 'wrong') and there was always a strong emotional bond.

It may have been 'considered lacking' because no one bothered to note the massive differences between play fighting and bullying; between affectionate humor and mockery. But I don't think that it has appeared 'magically' in recent years. Friendships are intimate and private. You don't need to annouce it to the rest of the universe for it to be real. It's great that people can, but that doesn't improve or diminish the connection.

CreeperCooper · 2017-10-12T17:10:04+00:00

Good! I tell my "bro's" I love them, I let them know I'm there if they need to talk, etc. Build that support structure for the important people in your life!

EDIT: And don't let anyone tell you different. Saying you love your best friend is not even close to gay, it's being a functional human being with functional relationships.

Ordinate1 · 2017-10-12T15:56:12+00:00

I don't see how anything could be less emotionally rewarding than my two marriages.

azazelcrowley · 2017-10-12T15:04:04+00:00

So the study found that men are comfortable talking emotionally with other men, but not women.

And this is the mens fault, rather than a learned behavior after realizing women are for the most part, hostile to men not basing their interactions with women around womens needs and interests, those women having been encouraged to think this way by both feminism and gynocentric traditionalism.

Kay, if you're gonna act like an ostrich, not much we can do about it.

But even still, it does somewhat poke a hole in the "It's because men don't talk about their issues" stuff. Hey, apparently men run everything, and men DO talk about their issues... to other men. And yet shit doesn't change. How curious. Seems like your "logic" has a hole in it somewhere.

Kronik_NinjaLo · 2017-10-12T18:37:04+00:00

Throughout my life I always felt that the perfect relationship was with a guy and if it weren't for the sex I would just be gay. I hate trying to read minds and find hidden meanings in everything. Seriously, I just want to chill, chat about random shit, have sex, and not feel obligated to be around each other 24/7.

oureyes · 2017-10-12T20:34:59+00:00

its called "friendship", this isn't tumblr, we don't need made up words to make things more palatable.

Drezzzire · 2017-10-12T17:01:07+00:00

honestly, no surprise there

Women have a hard time staying friends with each other-men don't

So it only makes sense that men would also have a harder time keeping a close bond with a woman as opposed to how close his bond would be with a man.

Men don't piss each other off on purpose, women do.

Not being annoyed by the other person is huge

towingnoone · 2017-10-12T20:28:45+00:00

Most of the conversations I have with women are about themselves and if I say something they don't agree with anything could happen, not speak to me for a week/tell everyone I'm a dickhead/accuse me of rape

I have a disagreement with a man and we argue it out and after the arument is done and it doesn't affect how we treat each other. I've argued with men at work and voices have been raised, the women start looking over/at each other, get giddy because there's some drama and them within 15 seconds we're back to talking about football. You see the cogs turning in their heads, confused look on there faces as they tried to figure out why we aren't pulling each other hair or some shit.

Gee I wonder why we prefer male friends than female.

hivemind_disruptor · 2017-10-12T18:41:23+00:00

for this to have any significance, we have to ask woman too, as a control group. If woman feel the same about marriages and female friends the problem are not the women, but the marriage institution itself.

theAnalepticAlzabo · 2017-10-12T18:31:23+00:00

Well, I mean, duh.

Your friend knows who you are, values you for your good qualities and forgives you for your bad ones. You don't have to spend money on him: your presence in his life adds to it. If you get into a really bad fight, you duke it out and are friends again.

Women have been trained since birth to hold contempt for men and boys, and all share in the 'secret' (if something blared from loudspeakers every night like a mosque's call to prayer can be considered 'secret') that women are better than men in every way, and deserve the best in life for no other reason than her vagina.

She has already had sex with men far more attractive than you, so she regards her marriage to you as a sign of her personal failure. Your only value to her is what you can do for her: she could give a shit about whats inside you (unless its something that could get her money). Actually, i'm wrong - women are actively disgusted by any reveal of emotion by her man. Hes supposed to bottle it up, dontcha know.

The only thing most (not all) have to offer in exchange for that hell is..... Well, sex.

sexyjeremypharoahwiz · 2017-10-12T19:23:17+00:00

Is it any wonder? Women and Men typically deal with their emotions in different ways and it's incredibly stressful when you try to discuss your emotions with someone and they get mad at you for "doing it wrong." It's no different from when women want men to just listen instead of trying to fix the problem.

The_Best_01 · 2017-10-12T17:20:37+00:00

Evolutionary speaking, I would've expected this to be the other way round. Maybe women are just starting to lack empathy.

GothicDreamScape · 2017-10-12T16:50:06+00:00

The term "bromance" was created by women to demean and cheapen male friendships. Feminists add the prefix "bro" to things they dislike.

TheOriginalChode · 2017-10-12T18:21:12+00:00

Quoting a line in Slackers: "We have been getting screwed by the system. The system that forces us guys to like girls. All right? We're getting pushed into this. What if we just take the girls out of it? We can have our own system, it's a counter-system. And then, you do things together, you swim, you row, you... boat, you eat, you stink. We can just be guys! You can have sex, you can do it, you know, many guys at a time, but it's not gay. "

berger77 · 2017-10-12T20:27:04+00:00

Considering how many marriages are based on lies, this doesn't surprise me.

seraph85 · 2017-10-12T21:04:10+00:00

This is the problem I've had with trying to get back into a relationship since my divorce. Besides sex and kids I don't see anything I want from a relationship with a woman. We have less in common they aren't as fun or funny its just stressful and unlike real friends they demand most/all of your time or they don't like you anymore. Relationships with women just feel so forced.

My buddies bitch about there girls non stop and they cant do the things they used to love anymore. I really don't see why men put themselves through it. Maybe relationships with women used to be good but modern day women are not worth the effort.

DownWithDuplicity · 2017-10-12T18:42:18+00:00

There's nothing remotely romantic about my relationship with my male friends, so I kind of find the term "bromance" to be perverse.

lilychick0385 · 2017-10-12T23:36:32+00:00

The title is a little misleading. The abstract of the study says "girlfriends" and since it was 30 undergrads my guess is most were NOT married (in fact it may be that none were married and Daily Mail just added that because they don't care). Not that this negates the outcome, but marrying someone is MUCH different than dating someone. And maybe that's what makes the difference in this generation, that a man might not get married until he finds a woman he can confide in. I would like to see this repeated with actual married couples.

escobari · 2017-10-13T03:13:46+00:00

These white knight comments never seize to amaze me.
I think the authors but way too much emphasis on the 'homophobia' aspect, as seen from the comments. Much more plausible explanation would be the breakdown of the female and her wage slave dynamics that emerged after world wars. I remember reading somewhere that before ww1, students would hold hands with their mates and as such, it being totally fine.

MazeMouse · 2017-10-13T08:32:56+00:00

I went from a mixed environment at work to a job which has only men.
While I enjoyed the mixed environment the difference is light and day in how people interact with eachother. There was a muted energy in the mixed environment as if people were holding back to not offend.

That is completely gone with my current all male environment. It's brash, harsh, sarcastic, funny and when stuff needs doing it goes serious-mode and shit gets done. You know, what feminists would call "toxic masculinity". Then when shit IS done it goes back to no-holds-barred. And it's always tongue in cheek and management is in on it.
Taking what we say and do out of context would have us branded, doxxed, deaththreats made, mailbombs to have us fired, etc for having the gall to make off colour jokes while at work. And it's liberating to finally be working in an environment where I don't have to worry that saying the wrong thing would jeopardize my job and life.

So hell yeah that "bromance" is more rewarding. It's made my working life go from "enjoyable enough" to "I love going to my job"

perplexedm · 2017-10-13T20:40:41+00:00

Good, it seems men are getting over the stupid gay FUD.

Whenever men talks friendly, few gangue of women and men in recent years started abusing 'gay' word. Men were reluctant for some time to be in friendship groups. It was not like that decades back when they had real adventures and positive networks.

Time to take back those times. If women want to writhen down in selfishness and self pity cult, let them.

Let men universally go forward and progress the way it should be.

ThePigmanAgain · 2017-10-12T23:53:51+00:00

Bromances, good. Choice of thumbnail, bad.

boringcarpets · 2017-10-13T13:22:28+00:00

Why are they always trying to belittle men and male relationships? "Bromance"? They're friends, nothing more. People that use the term are jealous, want it to be gay, can't stand that men can have good friendships

TheTyke · 2017-10-13T15:01:31+00:00

Definitely. Me and my best friend consider each other brothers. Tell each other we love each other and support each other the best we can. I'd kill and die for him. Nothing gay about it, it's just true brotherly love.

I've never had that feeling with a female romantic partner. Not sure why, to be honest. But I feel there's a lot of eggshells with wives and girlfriends you have to step on.

GoblinLoveChild · 2017-10-12T18:28:46+00:00

Yet another "study" being used to normalize homos and destroy traditional same sex relationships.

meh613 · 2017-10-12T13:34:36+00:00

How is this a "men's rights" issue -- is there a law against boys' night out or something?

Title	Men find their 'bromances' are MORE emotionally rewarding than relationships with their wives and girlfriends
Author	furchfur
Upvotes	753
Comments	209
Date	October 12, 2017 1:30 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/75wzp6/men_find_their_bromances_are_more_emotionally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-find-their-bromances-are-more-emotionally.913074 https://theredarchive.com/post/913074

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