Anyone attribute COVIDs lock down to the down fall of the marriage?

BorisBoris36 · 2025-01-07T02:46:42+00:00

1000%

Fun-Conference1361 · 2025-01-07T01:05:14+00:00

Not attribute but surely exposed. Grateful for it. Revealed the struggles that the outings, trips, and distractions were covering for years. When you can’t visit anyone/anywhere else and still don’t spend quality time there’s only a few explanations.

New_2_This_Life · 2025-01-06T04:16:07+00:00

It actually brought us closer

We had pool parties (just the two of us), movie nights, in the house dates, movies on the porch - it was really nice

After COVID it started to unravel

Apart-Garage-4214 · 2025-01-05T03:44:19+00:00

No, my marriage was in free fall well before Covid.

butwaititgetsworse14 · 2025-01-04T16:50:00+00:00

Yes it did for me. My great friend from childhood died by suicide, a couple of months later another friend of mine died from Covid complications, then my father almost died, lost my job, I was the sole provider for 13 years. Paid for everything, two kids both special needs. Helped her with everything but she never really supported me. I was severely depressed during Covid and that’s when she decided to leave the marriage. Now I could have taken better care of myself physically, psychologically but I didn’t have the tools. But Covid did a lot of damage.

First-Sail8421 · 2025-01-04T14:23:34+00:00

I suspect studies will show that it increased incidents of divorce. One psychologist (Orion Taraban) has said (a little facetiously) that too much time together is one of the main causes of divorce - esp in longer term marriages. But clearly covid and the lockdown imposed pressures on multiple elements of society (education, people’s views of govt oversight, interpersonal relationships) that will take time to reveal.

TonyPlush2 · 2025-01-04T11:28:54+00:00

It was the beginning of the end for us. We both have stable good jobs and were fortunate to be able to work remote. I enjoyed the side effect of shutdowns and cancellations that made life simpler…fewer commitments, neighbors around that we created a bubble with…felt like we made real connections. Kids played together, cookouts, evening fire pits, outdoor movies.

Anyway I enjoyed this, and when life restarted again with 7,000 kids activities, pool memberships, trips to see in-laws, experiences that we “just had to do” one of the big things she told me was that I lost my spark for life. I advocated for more unplanned free time…that was seen as boring, lazy, no fun.

So it was a factor…plenty of other things too but when we talked with a mediator and they asked when we were last happy it was right around 2020 for her.

Dry-Celebration7870 · 2025-01-04T07:47:06+00:00

Yes totally..!! The lockdown spoilt everything...

ADHD_247 · 2025-01-04T06:52:15+00:00

Infidelity is not marriage.

aquatic-dreams · 2025-01-04T04:15:25+00:00

It had a hand in it. But we probably would have divorced anyway. I broke a promise I made myself years earlier for her, and when the time came for her to fulfill her end of our agreement, she chose gaslighting instead. And she really really went down that road to the point she was trying to convince me i have alzheimers. So i can think of a handful of things behind our divorce, and covid was just one of them.

dadplup · 2025-01-04T03:10:40+00:00

I don't blame covid, my nexw and i were already having serious trouble for years, but the lock down forced us to be around each other even more so it didn't help the divorce was finalized in 22,

Downtown-Feature3167 · 2025-01-04T02:23:39+00:00

Happened to me.....i noticed changes in her but she kept saying it was the lock downstairs and being stuck in the house.....as soon as things started to become normal and open up...all the sudden I was the issue and she rolled out in just a matter of weeks.

Capital_Jay · 2025-01-04T02:21:23+00:00

It definitely accelerated the issues

UnimportantOutcome67 · 2025-01-04T01:45:29+00:00

It didn't help, I'll say that.

Mental_Antelope_7202 · 2025-01-04T01:23:53+00:00

You would think the lockdowns would have brough us closer. Maybe it was the excitement of everything opening back up.

cmac_yeg · 2025-01-03T20:22:31+00:00

Yup. 30 years down the toilet

Slowloris81 · 2025-01-03T19:46:23+00:00

Yes. My STBX was abusive before Covid but the pandemic turbocharged it.

Aggravating-Pear-769 · 2025-01-03T19:38:46+00:00

Definitely for me, we were saving to buy a house, my job was going well. Well covid directly hurt my industry and while I made my base salary. The bonuses stopped. Then mortgage rates dropped, perfect. But we couldn’t compete with the demand. Missed out on the 2-3% rates. I blamed my SO for not buying a house in 2019 when we had the opportunity. I argued hindsight that we could have refinanced and she cost us hundreds of thousands of dollars. It was no ones fault but my anger over the situation drove that final stake.

muscularmusician · 2025-01-03T19:03:23+00:00

100%. The company my ex worked for was a very hot commodity during covid, and they were bought out by an investment group. Her stress from work was high before and skyrocketed once the company was sold. Her bosses were psycho-money-hungry-A-Holes. She went to counseling for stress management, and her therapist suggested that maybe her SO was to blame ??.. and she ran with that completely... blaming me for everything... and not any of her choices in life or her work environment or bosses anything else....

ideastoconsider · 2025-01-03T18:53:37+00:00

Absolutely, it put in perspective that all of the “stuff” (nice house, cars, boat, etc.) meant nothing when I didn’t enjoy any of it with the person I married. The majority of the time I was enjoying my time alone or only with the kids. I realized I would rather have a partnership with significantly less things, than the reverse.

Massive_Context_9812 · 2025-01-03T18:50:03+00:00

I believe wholeheartedly that covid played a major role in my situation

ParsleyDue6882 · 2025-01-03T18:49:32+00:00

To some degree, yes.

HistoricalRich280 · 2025-01-03T18:42:35+00:00

My stbx was much happier during covid with no outside forces taking attention off of them 🤮

crzapy · 2025-01-03T18:41:49+00:00

Yes definitely.

Feisty_Elderberry_96 · 2025-01-03T18:29:29+00:00

Downfall, no.

Expedited a number of divorces, yes.

As others have said, if it wasn't covid something else would have happened 6-months,1-year or 5-years down the road.

I was already 1 yr into my divorce process. We were quite amicable during that time. During the first 6 months of Covid my ex showed me her true colors. I didn't know it then, but I'm truly grateful for "that" and all the BS she pulled. If not for covid - I would have never known the true extent of how evil and vindictive she could be.

I'm thankful I got to see that during the divorce. So NOW I know what I am truly dealing with.

OkEmphasis5923 · 2025-01-03T18:23:43+00:00

I do. Mine fell apart in the middle of 2021. When things first started going south I told my wife that being trapped in our homes for the last 18 months is probably making her feel the way she does, however she insisted that wasn't it.

But as time has passed and I've reflected on it, I've come to feel like the stage had been set years prior and was just waiting for the right set of circumstances to align for the marriage to crumble. If it wasn't Covid, it was going to be some other life altering event (death of a parent, severe illness, etc) that was going to burn it down. In addition, I've also come to see legal marriage as a fundamentally flawed legal arrangement that doesn't have a very good success rate no matter what the circumstances.

WhiteyDude · 2025-01-03T18:08:31+00:00

I'd say the lockdown amplified things that were already going wrong. We might still be married and miserable if not for covid, so silver lining.

Confident-Crawdad · 2025-01-03T17:52:02+00:00

It wasn't so much the lockdown, we were already working from home.

It was the emotional toll, stress and pressure. We both began to slide into depression and by late 2023 we were both circling the drain.

Smoovie32 · 2025-01-03T17:46:03+00:00

Not blaming lockdown. It delayed what she was planning to do I think. The lockdown did keep us together longer which led to my youngest so that metric, it is absolutely a win.

sam_lathrop · 2025-01-03T17:17:12+00:00

I’d say Covid was a catalyst but the lockdowns were actually a reprieve.

My ex lost 3 grandparents in 2020 to Covid and it set her into an emotional spiral that led to family drama (a BIL living with 2 of the grandparents was a jackass and brought it home) and alcohol abuse.

But working from home took away one of the major frustrations I had with living near her family but away from where I worked so when the commute came back, so did a lot of the stress and frustrations of not living close to where I worked. I actually really liked my ex when I wasn’t reminded daily of how selfish she was. My resentment towards her built every minute I was on the road.

Title	Anyone attribute COVIDs lock down to the down fall of the marriage?
Author	broakie212
Upvotes	29
Comments	38
Date	January 3, 2025 5:07 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hsrazq/anyone_attribute_covids_lock_down_to_the_down/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anyone-attribute-covids-lock-down-to-the-down-fall.1540241 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540241

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