I got served today.

chango01232020 · 2022-12-06T23:44:54+00:00

Sorry to hear. That was maybe the most crushing day of my life, at least so far. Was totally blindsided. But, in the end when all the dust settled, I was just fine. Stay tough.

BosPatriot71 · 2022-12-06T23:22:38+00:00

Sorry man. Shoot me a message if you want to talk, vent, whatever.

dragonfly323 · 2022-12-07T00:09:27+00:00

I’m so sorry. My ex wife turned into an awful person but the day I got served was still so sad.

PoppinPMAGs · 2022-12-06T23:45:00+00:00

If you want someone to talk to, msg me. I felt those same feelings when I was in your shoes 6 months ago.

figbatdiggernickk · 2022-12-07T03:11:43+00:00

I was in the same position 5 years ago. 2 years of beating myself up and then something clicked. The last 3 years have been the best of my life. Don’t ever thing of doing anything you can’t undo. Please reach out to any of us at any time, day or night. You’re not alone brother.

didyoucurbthewheels · 2022-12-07T00:36:45+00:00

Hey man, I’ll talk to you. I’m here. I’ve gone through this process alone, no support. I know where you’re coming from

Gattsama · 2022-12-07T05:16:25+00:00

Hey man sorry you are going through the BS. If you haven't heard already some common advise:

- find a therapist

- find a men's group +/- divorced dad's group

- start working out. Exercise is not just a distraction, it's also a mood stabilizer. It just needs to be part of your new routine, even when you don't feel like doing it, keep at it. And when stressed out or anxious, do it. You don't have to join a gym can just walk/run/hike and do calisthenics at home. OR consider adding a martial art (BJJ, Judo, boxing, MT, etc).

- be open and honest with your feelings. Do not repress them, let them wash over you, take them in, analyze them and then let them wash off you.

You are not the first man in this situation, and you won't be the last. Lean on those that came before you. You are NOT alone, no matter how bad things get or how bad you feel, there are tens of thousands of strangers and always at least one friend / loved one that is there for you. Please use them.

This group was a huge help to me personally. I also did video blogs to myself and wrote out long vent/dump sessions. Do not think that you are a burden on others or that they don't want to hear your story. Yes, sometimes that's true everyone has their own life, that's why you want multiple sources of support. But at any given moment at least one source of support is always available to you.

Stay safe, this will end and on the other side you will come out stronger...

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2022-12-06T22:41:40+00:00

Sorry you're going through that, my man.

DMECHENG · 2022-12-07T02:04:22+00:00

There’s no reason you can’t be sad, it’s part of it just feel it out. Stay up man. There’s support here.

Addington_9 · 2022-12-07T01:15:07+00:00

Man, I am sorry about what is happening to you. Feels like you got punched in the stomach and can’t breathe. It will and going to hurt for awhile try to stay strong the best you can.

No_War3532 · 2022-12-07T02:27:53+00:00

That sucks man.

Something that has been helping me, is discovering networks in people I hadn’t expected. It’s hard though

rhett342 · 2022-12-07T03:44:05+00:00

I've got no advice for you but I just wanted to say you're not alone and what you're feeling right now has been felt by just about all the other men in this sub. Hang in there brother.

Theedon · 2022-12-07T08:07:59+00:00

We are here. We have seen it all. We will get you through this.

jakeup58874 · 2022-12-07T18:39:34+00:00

If I could go back and do something differently, I would have opted to show no reaction and play along. Be happy about it.

With the exception of protecting my rights to money, assets, and children. Everything else does not matter at this point. With the exception of your mental health and well being.

Take care

Mountain_Split_2381 · 2022-12-07T09:35:47+00:00

Get close to God or simply pray and please please do not engage in any ALCOHOL nor pills, etc.

Let the river flow and lAWYER up

6lackTrey · 2022-12-07T14:18:25+00:00

I know I’m late but let me know if you need a chat champ!! I been through it

in-ma-flippy-floppys · 2022-12-07T15:25:39+00:00

I served her and I still loved her, but I knew I was depressed because I was trying to live and accept who she had become…a narcissistic, closet depression raged person…taking all their anger out on me…it was ruining my life. We fought 24/7 and all my friends were staying away case none of them could stand her…

At this point I’m still not 100%, but I’m doing amazing mentally…I spend quality time with my son and have been very happy at work - promoted twice in two years. Keep your head up and things will get better and work out. We’re all here for ya! You got this!

Sad_support_needed · 2022-12-07T15:38:25+00:00

My advice would be to start seeing a therapist immediately.

Also look for a divorce support group in your area, that can really help in connecting with other people who are going through the same thing.

You are in for some dark days brother, but you’re going to make it through this.

There are millions of us out there who are going through it, or on the other side.

This is 100% survivable

MightBusiness7231 · 2022-12-07T15:47:49+00:00

I’m sorry. PM me if you need to talk. I’m in divorce process now as Dad of 2 kids.

2022-12-07T17:53:32+00:00

I'm sorry man. I remember keenly how much that shattered me. It's a few months later and im finally getting over it.

bediligent · 2022-12-07T19:20:04+00:00

Whatever you do Don’t leave the house! We’re all here for you. Ask questions, NO it’s not going to be easy. I’m in TX, & willing to talk. If you knew it was coming or not feels, it’s still shitty. How you were served also speaks volumes, (surprised publicly) sets overall tone of what’s to come. In TX opposing counsel will set an initial hearing quickly (within days) to catch you off guard: do not go to this alone. Talk to people, get a referral for attorney specializing in family law. (Especially when kids and many assets are involved) your counsel will push for a continuance - buy you some time. Speaking of Kids, DO NOT, I repeat Do Not speak ill of your spouse to your children. Suck it up and stay positive for them, especially if they are not out of the house, your kids will me more scared than you are. If you’re in a no-fault state such as TX your petition will state specific Faults against you as reasons for divorce. It’s harder than hell not to react, just don’t. Expect, EVERYTHING, you say is being recorded, do the same (iphone voice recorder works great). So do not argue with spouse. Do what your attorney says, DO NOT lie to your attorney, tell them everything as you don’t know what opposing counsel knows or what lies were told to them to use against you. Most of all DO NOT use your attorney as a personal counselor, you’re being charged for every call, text and email. Find a group, use us, find a trusted friend someone who is not friends with your spouse, an older male trusted friend is best, they tend to be wiser and think more rationally. Remember many states are community property states, but 50/50 isn’t reality, no matter what they are requesting or saying right now, won’t be the reality in the end. As your mind is racing, do your best to stay calm, or go for a walk. Divorce is like going through temporary insanity but to what degree is unknown. Prayers to you! Reach out to me if needed, my divorce took 17 months was highly contested, the false allegations were many, from theft to being accused of sexual assault and even rape, legal fees in the end topped $130k. You name it, I dealt with it.

skyscraper54321 · 2022-12-07T00:20:41+00:00

I remember your posts from that cuck infested swamp AOAI. Best thing to happen to you mate. What your ex put you through no person should have to deal with.

Gutted88 · 2022-12-07T10:27:26+00:00

Be strong brother.. I'm 3months in and it gets easier every day. Im sure some would advise against it, but getting a close friend of female persuasion helped me a ton.

Classic_Dill · 2022-12-07T16:50:48+00:00

Did you see it coming?

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-12-07T00:44:23+00:00

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and pull yourself together. Start interviewing attorneys. Here's how: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=13377

Title	I got served today.
Author	Sad_support_needed
Upvotes	51
Comments	69
Date	December 6, 2022 10:31 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/zek98i/i_got_served_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-got-served-today.1142656 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142656

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