Why is cheating/adultery not a crime?

wolpak · 2023-04-02T03:44:07+00:00

Breaking contracts aren’t crimes. If anything, it’s a civil offense. Maybe you can sue over it, I guess that’s kinda what divorce really is.

The_Bearded_Cyclist · 2023-04-02T02:16:55+00:00

Because Ronald Reagan came up with no fault divorce in the 80s.

Id be asking why Paternity Fraud is the only fraud that isn't illegal anywhere in the world.

FUMoney · 2023-04-02T13:02:36+00:00

Because adultery is personal consensual sex between two consenting adults. The state has no interest in these affairs. Perhaps the spouse who was cheated on disagrees — well that’s what divorce court is for.

And why don’t courts care? Because, in the end, it doesn’t matter all the “why” reasons a marriage failed. The courts don’t have time for all the he said, she said, cheating and adultery bullshit. End the marriage, split the marital assets, and move on.

ABBucsfan · 2023-04-02T02:43:58+00:00

You're getting into a real messy can if worms legally when you talk about things like cheating. It's less black and white as other things. It's like trying to make bullying laws (aside from flat out assault if course). Do we make hurting others feelings in general illegal and where is the line? I guess only difference is marriage is a legal contact (or are you up extending this even to dating?) When it comes to cheating is it only when they've had sex? Are there situations, like abuse (and is it physically, emotionally, sexually?) Where it can be seen as justified or a means of coping/self soothing? As a prosecutor of the law how in the world so you sort that mess out and convict someone?

VegasZac · 2023-04-02T12:20:55+00:00

I think the issue is that many assume that faithfulness is part of this contract of marriage. It’s not. Only the entitlements to finances really are.

What’s baffling to me after going through the clown show of divorce is that this is somehow legally enforceable. Show me a contract anywhere else that isn’t written down anywhere, the parties signing aren’t given those terms at the time of signing, and those terms are subjective in any state you live in. Got married in TX but moved to CA 11 years in and then in year 23 you’re getting divorced? Lifetime alimony for you, my friend!

Also, the many subjective areas are left up to a judge’s “discretion” which could be heavily influenced by their relationship with a particular attorney, their mood that day, or if they like the color shirt you put on. There’ll be no accountability for them or need to explain a legal rationale for their decision.

I work in the used car industry and even the shadiest, seediest dealer among us are required to provide ALL terms the customer is signing to at the time of signing. (Many customers don’t bother to read them, but that’s another topic) Those terms don’t change when the customer moves to another state, nor are subjective to the whims of some judge.

It’s utterly baffling that the “contract” of marriage is enforceable at all given how little information is provided when you sign that contract. Most men I think assume fidelity is part of that contract. Maybe it is/was for much of history, but we don’t enforce it. Not that I’m suggesting it should be. I’d rather see it move in the other direction - marriage as it exists should be abolished. We live in an era where any able-bodied and minded individual can be responsible for their own decisions and finances.

rookiepatchaut · 2023-04-02T02:46:47+00:00

Genuine question. Does one partner’s infidelity count for anything? Does it affect alimony? Child support? Custody rights? In any state for that matter

Chance_Refrigerator7 · 2023-04-02T19:02:55+00:00

In 2022, adultery by some definition is still a crime in 16 states: Arizona, Florida, Kansas, Illinois, Massachusetts, Oklahoma, Idaho, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Utah, New York, Mississippi, Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina.Sep 12, 2022

So, if your in those states you can be charged with a crime. But, the affair partner can be sued also in many states.

Hope this helps

Remarkable-Potato21 · 2023-04-02T02:23:05+00:00

As someone who has been through adultery/infidelity, it narrows down to character. I don't think it's a crime. It is completely ones choice to do as they please whether it hurts another individual or not. The line is drawn when they know it hurts someone they care about and they choose to do it anyway. Almost like an addiction. You can still care deeply about someone but choose to self soothe. We all get to make choices. In the eyes of our law makers, courts, judges, and public relations litigation they don't care about your feelings. They have justice guidelines to adhere to or their jobs are at stake. States have different guidelines. Different opinions and rulings change outcomes and there's a strict understanding to stick to the calculations/guidelines.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-04-02T02:03:06+00:00

If you think divorce lawyers make a lot of money now, you should have seen how much they made when you had to prove who was at fault for a divorce!

Adultery remains a crime in a handful of States, but hard to see it ever being enforced: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adultery_laws#United_States

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_v._Texas - this is a relevant decision regarding the unconstitutionality of sodomy laws

But hey, with this Supreme Court - you may get your wish. Just be careful what you wish for.

pk2at · 2023-04-02T03:44:34+00:00

Answer is simple, the government wants YOU, a man to pay Child Support to your wife irrespective of whose child it is. If the woman is not married, the father of the baby is made to pay. I've looked at data, fertility rate of unmarried woman is much lower than married woman and unmarried woman are less likely to knock on court for CS.

akkkkkar · 2023-04-02T06:55:40+00:00

Fortunately, ones sex life is a part of the private sphere and not covered by the law, hence it's not a part of the administration of justice in any civilized, western country.

Tiger_27 · 2023-04-02T12:16:44+00:00

Idaho has statutes on adultery. Up to 3 years in prison and a $1000.00 fine.

Idaho statute: 18-6601 thru 18-6607.

WorkingItOutSomeday · 2023-04-02T14:24:20+00:00

Could always move to a few middle eastern or central Asian countries....

2023-04-02T02:18:34+00:00

That's a loaded question, and will lead down rabbit holes. What defines cheating, to each person it could mean something different. That's atleast how I see it.

Orator270 · 2023-04-03T12:39:18+00:00

It’s not because you cannot force a human being to be your slave.

Sometimes people are trapped in marriages because they are afraid to leave or because they literally cannot for finances are some other reason.

But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t human don’t have desires

Take a shot for everybody you have who is still in a loveless marriage because they have a child. I’ve had some friends go out and find some side pieces, mostly with escorts… But their wife wasn’t for filling her side of the marriage. So why should he keep his.

A quart can’t determine what causes a person to cheat. They can’t determine that you didn’t push your spouse to that extreme. Because a marriage doesn’t just fall apart with one instance. It’s a lot of little things that build up.

Normal-Subject-7405 · 2023-04-02T10:42:16+00:00

Adultery should absolutely be a crime in my mind. The damage it does to victims of it and their surrounding friends, family and children is mind blowing. Now compare that to stealing a pack of gum from a shop. Suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 49. Average age of divorcing men is 44yrs, peak suicide in men is 44yrs.

EraveXK · 2023-04-02T15:06:24+00:00

In my state adultery is illegal with a max penalty of 5000$ fine and 1 year in jail but divorces are no fault and no one is ever charged.

BuddhistChrist · 2023-04-02T15:26:07+00:00

Because those who make the laws are guilty of those crimes.

Data_Fan · 2023-04-02T19:01:29+00:00

Jails aren't big enough

Cute-sailorboyz · 2023-04-02T19:22:18+00:00

It is in military at least for US

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2023-04-03T15:08:41+00:00

It's not a crime because "your feelings" are not something that the government sees fit to protect. It has a hard enough time trying to protect you from physical and property harm. Feelings are subjective.

It's not taken into consideration in divorce courts because it doesn't make a difference anyway. It doesn't impact whether or not a parent should have access to their kids, and it doesn't impact how much stuff is jointly owned.

Might as well ask why apostasy -- leaving a church -- isn't a crime.

Title	Why is cheating/adultery not a crime?
Author	AnonJetlag
Upvotes	2
Comments	67
Date	April 2, 2023 1:56 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1296eed/why_is_cheatingadultery_not_a_crime/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/why-is-cheatingadultery-not-a-crime.1207153 https://theredarchive.com/post/1207153

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