Can someone explain why red pill guys are successful with dating and hooking up?

sweatsmallstuff · 2024-03-17T16:46:55+00:00

I’m guessing it’s because they lie a lot. I recently read a leaked post for one of those paid PUA groups, and it recommends taking women with them to “buy” luxury cars and how to return the car after the date, also to take them to upscale auctions and art shows while putting bids on art they can’t afford.

All that to say, it seems that they front about a mirage of a life. So while they may get a date or two with sought after women, they won’t be able to keep them because they are faking the funk

ShinyTotoro · 2024-03-17T16:42:30+00:00

are they successful or are they just saying so? any examples?

ExoticAd2840 · 2024-03-17T18:10:36+00:00

A lot of redpill tactics promote trauma-bonding.

Nelisormimangusti · 2024-03-17T17:00:49+00:00

do you mean the social media influencers like andrew tate? because they just pay sex workers to be in their pictures on a yacht or something like that

GladysSchwartz23 · 2024-03-17T17:44:59+00:00

Adding to what others are saying: the small fraction of redpillers who make videos may be "successful" at having sex with a lot of ladies, but the regular guys who subscribe to their views assuredly are not. They are walking woman-repellant, and the few in relationships are miserable and making the people in their lives miserable (look at their posts and see how much they complain).

The best case scenario for these dweebs is a bunch of one night stands or a long-term relationship with someone they hate and who fears them. That shit is incredibly depressing.

w1gw4m · 2024-03-17T17:01:33+00:00

They're not

Andrew Tate is a human trafficker who exploits vulnerable women. That's not what being successful with women looks like.

xvszero · 2024-03-17T16:51:25+00:00

Are they? I haven't seen any evidence of this. Especially if within dating we include mutually satisfying longterm relationships. They fucking suck at those.

imhereforthemeta · 2024-03-17T20:11:45+00:00

There’s obviously no actual real data on this, but anecdotally, every dude, I know that when that direction is a bitter loser who struggles a lot to find women. If they were reasonably attractive, they might be able to get a hook up at a party or some thing, but most of them weredeeply isolated and largely friendless men who also struggled to date

I did date a man with red pill beliefs for a while, and he hid them really well. When it started becoming more apparent, I pretty much left him immediately because those behaviors are weird and gross and immediately offputting.

Beguile_ · 2024-03-17T18:08:05+00:00

What makes you think red pill guys are successful with women?.. I have not noticed this in my life, in fact the red pill men I've known have been the least successful with women, which would explain why they are searching for help.

Secondly, most women I know who are happily paired off consider red pill stuff a red flag, unattractive and a hard no.

I am 40 though, so younger people may have different experiences.

I-Killed--Mufasa · 2024-03-17T18:06:34+00:00

Sometimes in dating , if you have no morals.... you will get ahead.

Also, some people like weird shit or like odd personalities.

I've been on dating apps and seen women saying they want " Alpha Males." ( I personally dont message or like those profiles because it's gonna be a huge headache and not worth it )

So if some over the top redpill weirdo messages her , she might be into it.

Allusionator · 2024-03-17T17:20:13+00:00

They make money off of YOU thinking they are successful. Your context is their social media which is designed to appeal to you by projecting ‘success’ with women.

A man can have causal sex as a misogynist if he happens to be gorgeous and dedicates a lot of time, energy, and money to lying his way into one-night-only appeal.

Recent_Beautiful_732 · 2024-03-17T19:21:46+00:00

One of the Fresh and Fit guys was caught on a sugar daddy website. I’m not aware of any red pill man that is super attractive to women.

boredbitch2020 · 2024-03-17T19:00:20+00:00

They're lying. Either there lying to you, or they're lying to women about their beliefs in order to get laid. ( There's a post in twox about this right now) isn't that a tactic overtly recommended by pick up artists

Esseldubbs · 2024-03-17T20:07:32+00:00

I can't say when it comes to the influencer types, aside from the obvious. Money

As far as your average red pill guy goes though, I can only judge by my Facebook "friends" I went to High School with that are now red pilled. It seems these guys are getting no ass at all!! It's all talk about their standards, but as far I can tell they're really lonely

tissue7 · 2024-03-17T20:21:28+00:00

Narcissism can come off as confidence for a short period of time. Impulsive can come off as exciting. Manipulating can come off as dominance. These negative traits can come off as attractive for a short period of time to some women especially inexperienced women. I don’t support it at all but that’s to answer your question OP.

Stargazer1919 · 2024-03-17T18:15:58+00:00

Define "success"?

Is sleeping with a woman one night, not caring about her pleasure, then her ghosting him considered success?

A dude who is already in a relationship and he gets into redpill, then nukes his relationship because of it, is that considered success?

Even if a dude uses redpill to sleep around, that doesn't mean he ever learns genuine connection with others or how to deal with stuff in life in a healthy way. Where is the success?

loling1234 · 2024-03-17T19:17:51+00:00

Their success is short lived. The psychology behind it works on naive unhealed women which is a good chunk of women especially younger ones. It only works for so long though. Very few of them are in healthy long term marriages and that’s what I would call successful. Most of them hop from woman to woman and eventually give up on relationships and just sleep around claiming to have peace.

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-03-17T19:27:30+00:00

If someone is getting filmed or photographed in a way that has perfect lighting and camera angles, they are being paid. Pickup artist "gurus" used to pay women to even stand behind them while they film videos. You mentioned Andrew Tate, but he got arrested as a human trafficker/pimp, surrounded by women paid to be around him.

Redpill guys lie a lot online. A lot. Redpill tends to attract guys that are very approval seeking.

Redpill guys I knew in person always did badly with women because 1) they just could not make basic conversations 2) they put women on a weird mix of pedestal + boogieman, and just could not relax and enjoy interacting with women 3) could not relate to people due to the "me vs them" mindset encouraged by redpillers.

by the way, seeing your other comments, you seem to view having a girlfriend as some sort of rare thing that only the best guys do, and this is a very inexperienced mindset of the world: How old are you?

GladysSchwartz23 · 2024-03-17T17:39:31+00:00

They aren't successful with women. A handful of them get ladies, the rest are lying.

Snuffleupagus03 · 2024-03-17T16:53:29+00:00

First first many red pill people lie. Full stop. But I won’t pretend that’s all of their ‘success.’

First we have to talk about success and what it is. Red pill seems to attract people who want to talk about feeling loved and how people need to feel that. But it is a doctrine built on ‘getting laid’ by the hottest person possible as the only true measure of success. There is no warmth or happiness down that path.

But then why are some of them possibly successful at getting laid? I would say there are legit reasons, but one of them I think of is that this is their goal. They have put so much energy and tactics into this goal. But I would still question their success.

I had a fairly successful dating life by mostly being a nice person (we all have our faults). I’m sure by red piller I was a failure by treating women with genuine respect and equal partners. But by what measure? I have been happily married over ten years now. I’d bet that during that time I have had more sex than a sucedió red piller claiming to hop from hookup to hookup.

So they have to change the goal. Sex can’t be the goal. Because then people in loving relationships would win. The goal has to be to have sex with multiple people and be free. But none of them seem as happy as the married people I know…

But I don’t want to dodge your question. I would say that for the ones that are successful is a combination of looks and desire. They are often good looking and they often try to hookup a lot. So they are out there constantly taking their shot and not worrying about who they offend or how they are perceived.

lethatshitgo · 2024-03-18T02:01:50+00:00

As someone who dated someone who is red pill, it is because they are manipulative. They know what to do because they’ve spent hours studying it. They know how to hook a girls emotions and then use it against her to keep her stuck in the relationship and under their control. It’s a very swift thing and is often an unconscious thing that wasn’t meant to have bad intentions, but it’s harmful nonetheless. Especially for people like me who have extremely anxious attachment styles and can very easily fall into the set up of codependency that red pill creates.

Melvin-Melon · 2024-03-18T03:23:50+00:00

Are you talking about Red pill men who have platforms like YouTube channels where they post content? Because a lot of those people pay women to be there so they can get you to engage with the content or buy a program.

Other than that, the way the red pill views women makes it easier for the men involved to approach getting women in ways that if were laid out for the average person would seem gross at best and morally wrong at worst. I’ve seen content encouraging men to lie or manipulate to get women to sleep with them because “it’s what women deserve”. And yes targeting vulnerable women is a part of that because it’s easier to manipulate and convince them it’s what they deserve.

Rumin8ting_ · 2024-03-17T21:41:22+00:00

I mean, that dude off of fresh and fit got exposed for hiring sex workers to act like girls he picked up and brought to a yacht. Besides that, pick up skills are basically psychological abuse designed to make you feel vulnerable and undesirable so you will be more likely to hookup with them. They specifically prey on how the human brain naturally works. Dark triad shit.

Odd-Luck7658 · 2024-03-17T23:17:53+00:00

They are not successful. That is why they are red pill. Whatever relationship they are in will soon end.

xweert123 · 2024-03-18T06:38:44+00:00

They say they're successful, but they aren't. That's the point. It's why a lot of stories on here are of relationships that fail because a partner turned to redpill, or people talking about how redpill ideology made it impossible to trust people and establish relationships.

It's a bit like asking why Snake Oil Salesmen how their Snake Oil is so good at solving all of their problems. It's really not; it's only the Snake Oil Salesman that is saying that, and it's not really wise to trust their word.

A_very_Salty_Pearl · 2024-03-18T07:54:00+00:00

Those guys show model-like women in their videos either standing there, posing like he bought her in auction, or in a group of multiple others doting on him like a harem. Smiling, nothing behind their eyes.

They say women are easily programmable robots, and pay them to act as exactly that. No matter how attractive or magnetic someone is, nobody acts that way other than prostitutes/models that are being well paid to be used as props and entertain.

Remember the people telling you those lies are selling you something. What you're watching is an ad - for they classes, their channel, their podcasts. It's their job.

Why wouldn't pay for props/actors on their ads?

That's not to say that if you had a Ferrari and kept flaunting your money you wouldn't find someone happy to flirt with/sleep with you in exchange for expensive things.

Or (and this is a one in a million, best case scenario) that if a guy kept just acting like an absolute abusive dick they wouldn't eventually find a woman inexperienced, insecure and traumatized enough to go to bed with them and maybe even have an absolutely miserable relationship with them before falling into their senses.

But is that what "success" is for you? Cause that's the only "success" they can possibly provide. I'd find it easier, cheaper and more ethical to just pay for a sex worker, tbh - which is what they most often do anyway.

coffeetablestain · 2024-03-17T19:57:35+00:00

Because if you act confident people will be more inclined to both do what you ask, and want to be around you, because as a species we tend to follow people who seem like authorities.

This is the basic gist of it. Redpill teaches real techniques that do work, like not being afraid of girls, about taking care of yourself and having self-assured feelings about yourself, and if you don't have self-esteem, at least acting like you do until you gain real appreciation and value for yourself.

This is all real, it helps you in life. What TRP does wrong though is disconnect the follow-through. If you don't have an honest, equitable and emotionally intelligent relationship with the person you want to be with, you won't have that person for very long. Which TRP also teaches is fine, because their worst offense, arguably even worse than the misogyny, is the fact that TRP abandons you at the end. It tells you like Tate and so many others that women aren't worth it, that relationships all suck, that you're going to be alone in the end, so why bother worrying about being a better partner, etc.

I used to be more involved in this community and some adjacent ones, I have seen so, so many posts from people who feel let down and burned out with the redpill mindset because it doesn't let you be close to anyone, so it makes your insecurity far worse when you get in a long-term relationship. You see cheating and hypergamy behind every bush and lurking around every corner. "Holding frame" for years and years makes people miserable.

But the initial stuff? Working out, taking better care of yourself, having self-respect, learning to say no to women or not put them on a pedestal, this will all work great.

It also teaches manipulation like it's some kind of secret jedi mind power that only sages and monks can pull off. When in reality humans are incredibly vulnerable to being influenced. It's EASY to get someone to say yes to going out with you if you know how to communicate and hold yourself and create a situation that might be hard for someone to say no to. This is on you if you think this is morally grey or if you really feel comfortable getting people to do things they don't want to do. Redpill tries to teach you to discard this kind of empathy, but again, this won't help you not be alone in the long decades that follow the young redpill years. And redpill also works great to attract the kinds of people whom redpill works on... IE: you will NOT develop a strong relationship with a partner who is also your friend and can challenge you and make you grow, the best you can hope for is a woman who has no self-esteem of her own and never argues with you because they're afraid and this isn't great for a relationship.

You see a lot of pushback against the manipulative tactics of redpill, but if you're a clever and morally intact person, you can actually take the lessons there and apply them to a real relationship in a way that isn't reprehensible or makes someone else miserable. You can understand the emotional intelligence behind how TRP "works" and instead use that knowledge to understand how people feel and think and how they rationalize their own feelings, this helps you work out ways to communicate and compromise like an adult.

At the end of the day all any of us want is to not be alone. It's really hard for men particularly and there are very few role models on what's the best way to be the best kind of man who won't be left alone, because honestly we have let men down. We are not providing better answers and it has left a vacuum for people like Tate and his clown-car of children following him and boosting him. They are teaching the worst values but they are teaching it behind something that works, which is to project confidence... and unfortunately, to embrace traditional masculinity roles. This isn't "right" but it works because again, we let men down. We overhauled dating and women's roles and relationships but the standards for what makes a man attractive and desirable haven't budged since the dark ages. So while the rest of the world plows ahead with positive body images, freedom to be and do what you want, men still feel stuck on rails that we have to be rugged individualists with no insecurities or vulnerability.

We say we want men to be more open and honest with their feelings, but it's no secret that most men have at least one story about being rejected, made fun of, or made to feel ashamed for opening up at the wrong time or in the wrong way. This is what's pushing men to grifters and con artists, and the only way we address is it by being better men the best we can even if the world doesn't feel fair. Our forefathers are the ones who created this mess and they did it over centuries, we can only hope to undo the worst parts of it slowly and with patience and empathy and kindness.

The lack of kindness is where we have the worst problems in society, and if I were to profess any kind of "pill" ideology, it would be whatever helps you be kind* to yourself and others. TRP doesn't like kindness, but it's critical to learn so you don't end up alone.

*"kind" doesn't mean nice, and being kind and being nice are two different things.

SweelFor- · 2024-03-17T19:20:27+00:00

Can you explain why scammers can be successful?

Yes, the answer is that there are people who are vulnerable to being scammed. Red pill preys on vulnerable people, and vulnerable people exist, so when they find vulnerable people, it can work.

There are also just bad people who are attracted by other bad people.

Can you explain why there are men attracted to bad women? Well, it's because there are 4 billion people in each group, and even 1% of 4 billion is 40 million.

There are a lot of people, which is why everything that can happen, happens.

My answer to you is: why do you care? How does this affect your personnal quest?

XihuanNi-6784 · 2024-03-17T21:28:42+00:00

It's a numbers game. The main hindrance toany individual man in dating is having the confidence to approach/ask and be shot down dozens or hundreds of times. Because the red pill gives these guys confidence to approach women (it's a negative confidence, a kind of contemptuous manipulative scheming confidence) they can be successful because at the end of the day dating is a numbers game. Yes it's about compatability, but your best chance of finding someone compatible comes from putting yourself out there. That works whether you're faking it for sex, or for real intimacy.

Dumbbjuice89 · 2024-03-17T23:12:22+00:00

Because the ones who are good at their "art" are highly manipulative and also come off as confident. Its really that simple.

tomowudi · 2024-03-18T15:44:24+00:00

Their tactics are predatory and coercive. In part that relies on lots of "attempts at bat" as well as being able to identify those that are vulnerable to those sorts of tactics. These tactics include lying.

DarkestTimeline24 · 2024-03-18T02:53:33+00:00

It’s not real.

ThatOtherGuyTPM · 2024-03-18T10:39:33+00:00

In my experience, they aren’t, or at least not by any measure of success that I would recognize.

Designer-Arugula6796 · 2024-03-18T16:07:09+00:00

Are you talking about pickup artists or redpillers?

bluehorserunning · 2024-03-18T17:26:13+00:00

Terps, in addition to hating women, also encourage men to take basic care of their own appearance and to practice superficial charm. To the extent that they have better luck hooking up than other men- if that is actually the case, and you’re not just talking about the dudes who pay women to stand next to them on ticktock or YouTube- that would be why. However, they do not have healthy or persistent LTRs.

redpillnonsense · 2024-03-18T17:26:43+00:00

You must be new to the space. As someone who has followed these guys since 2018, let me tell you everything that has been exposed.

Guys take pictures with random women and tell others they're dating/sleeping with them.
Guys who pay for sex
Guys who use their platform to get women (they have to sleep with them after appearing on the show)
Guys who just offer to spend a lot of money on women
In footage show how cringe a lot of these dudes are
And guys who just straight up lie

In all seriousness, the red pill is nothing more but smoke and mirrors. I'm not saying they don't get laid at all, but they're not sleeping reguarly with "9s and 10s." I've seen backchats and old blog posts that show routinely that this isn't true.

markd315 · 2024-03-19T03:38:37+00:00

redpill guys aren't very successful in dating or even mating, rich redpill influencers are though.

one thing that the redpill people are right about is that women are drawn to what they perceive as power and status.

Rich influencers have a lot of that and it's trivial to play it up a little more with lies, bluster and exaggerations.

If you can learn anything from them it's that being "high value" is good for your prospects for attraction.

But regardless of your value, solid relationships are built on honesty and shared vulnerability, not bravado and gaslighting.

Polish_Girlz · 2024-03-20T02:32:43+00:00

It's likely they are getting them because they're attractive only. Other than that, it's via manipulation as most women are easy to manipulate.

Nuclearwaifu · 2024-03-21T15:25:22+00:00

Well it‘s a mix of things really. Usually it‘s because they pay them. At least the „famous“ ones do. They pay only fans ppl or instagram women to come, sit there and be yelled at and stuff and then they get a hefty sum of money for it.

And the other side is vulnerable women. They especially target 18 year olds. I think Tate was targeting even younger but dunno if that‘s true. And young women are often not mentally mature enough to know the danger of these men. But usually it‘s a vulnerable women. There‘s a reason that there‘s a saying that abuse victims are easy fodder for abusers. And abusers know where to look. And they know what kind of woman won‘t stay or accept disrespect and red flags. They target vulnerable women. And that‘s how they do it.

Elegant_Question_913 · 2024-03-23T20:51:17+00:00

Oh. I dated a rep pill guy. HE LIED HIS ASS OFF. About everything. About how considerate he was and how much he cared about things. He seemed really polite and loved his mother. And here i thought, oh, he seems very nice. After we locked in, I told him about some of my insecurities and trauma and then BOOM. Manipulation, abuse, yelling. Pushing me for nudes even though i was uncomfortable. telling me to send me pictures while I was having a breakdown because "now is now." " He ended up dumping me because ig he really couldn't handle the mess he made out of me. He tried asking me to get back with him again and called me a whore when I said no. Oh yeah, and when he figured I had zero self esteem because of his comments, he started saying the "No other guy would want you", and would imply he'd leave unless I did what he asked.

I'm not a pretty pretty girl by any means. I do get compliments. My requests were full when I tried a dating app. I think I am 6/10 but eh, whatever. They just lie a lot, get you at your lowest, and hit you from there. They also present themselves as amazing people at the start. I should have dumped him when he said Andrew Tate had good points, but I hated myself by that point.

So yeah, dread games, trauma-bonding, some actual good moments so they can pull those so you stay with them. Holding you responsible for everything, insulting everything about you. I am healing now so please don't worry lol

imtranscending · 2024-05-25T03:48:10+00:00

Firstly, I'd rephrase your question as why are some red pill guys successful with dating and hooking up?

Because those men understand that biological attraction matters, and they possess game. Knowing this, RP guys are more likely to be fit and good looking on the attraction side. On the game side, they likely have superior social skills in the context of knowing how to banter, read body language, and create a fun and emotional moment for the woman.

Those things in turn separate them from your average non-gym goers who talk with women, leading with interviewing questions for which she can respond "yes" or "no" to.

HeresN3gan · 2024-03-17T22:13:35+00:00

There are truths in Red Pill philosophy, it's just not all truth, and not as set in stone as they claim.

forksbeans · 2024-03-26T18:32:29+00:00

Hey I know this is little old now but I have an answer! Actually I went on two dates with a guy who turned out to be red pill in the past month(we’ve since discussed not seeing one another again). I really liked spending time with him because he was very gentlemanly at first! We went to nice restaurants and he sent an Uber to pick me up (and drop me off at the end of the night). The rps who are successful at dating are also successful at hiding their rp views, or at least in the beginning. It was very small details that led me to realizing he was red pill. For example, when the waitress came to our table, he did the absolute most making sure I saw him check her out. Multiple times lol I’m talking I would see him look at her then check to make sure I was looking at him before looking back at the waitress. Which I later was told is a thing that they’re advised to do. The other thing was he touched in conversation on saying things just to be funny, but it snowballed a little bit into how he purposefully tries to trigger people and that triggering people is so super fun. Also finding out that he loves Donald trump was kind of a tip off. But yeah, all of this to say, the successful rps don’t wear their views on their sleeves like that and they’ll even do things for their dates that they would not brag about to their community such as paying for ubers and dates and holding doors. Just behaving as much like a gentleman in the beginning as possible lol. I’ve seen this sentiment in other comments on this post that really resonates and I think sums up my answer pretty well: they might get a date or two with a desirable woman but they probably have far less luck keeping them around. Hope this gives u a little more of what u were looking for!

Dumbbjuice89 · 2024-03-17T23:13:52+00:00

Also some women really love to think they're "not like the other girls" and enjoy any validation they get from these men

guppyhunter7777 · 2024-03-18T00:43:04+00:00

Red pill is about making money as content creator than anything. There is just enough truth in it for a lot of guys that are getting or have been hurt in their relationships with women for is to resonate and generate clicks. Women on the other hand want to toss it al out as on giant lie rather then face up to the idea that there are documented bad actors in the sisterhood, which further lends itself to the grand conspiracy of feminism. But the reality is that most of these men 30 years ago would have been used car dealers and labeled predators. In the same way that most of these women on OF would have just gone an gotten real jobs.

Most_Read_1330 · 2024-03-17T19:50:59+00:00

It's because they're attractive. Any strategy will work if you're attractive.

workdistraction4me · 2024-03-17T18:58:31+00:00

Because dating is their focus. Where the focus goes, energy flows.

Title	Can someone explain why red pill guys are successful with dating and hooking up?
Author	ThrowRAdeeznuts0
Upvotes	15
Comments	117
Date	March 17, 2024 4:31 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1bh1tm1/can_someone_explain_why_red_pill_guys_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/can-someone-explain-why-red-pill-guys-are.1426195 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426195

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