Do women have it easier than men?

vcreativ · 2022-05-01T20:14:03+00:00

I still don't realise why it matters but I'd agree with "attractive people" find dating easier, especially via picture focused services. But texting doesn't mean they can hold a face-face conversation.

But your time horizon stops at 25y. Which doesn't make a ton of sense to me. Life doesn't stop at 25y. It continues. And if you got hooked up all throughout your 20s (man or woman) it's either going to show physically, but definitely in how you treat other people. Because for the last five years others were disposable to you, that doesn't just go away.

You are based on the choices you made yesterday. Take real good care of what decisions you make today, because tomorrow, that's you.

Another thing to note, you're degrading both men and women to looks (women/men) and money (men) which I am not such a fan of.

You talk about hook-ups as if it's the be-all-end-all. What about healthy conflict? What about learning to see past the short-comings of the other because they (as they are, not as they look) are worth it to you?

If you want to go out with the physically most groomed, pick a narcissist, just don't expect to enjoy any of the interaction that follows.

My point is, when you think about the nitty-gritty that human interaction actually involves (because most of the time you will not be hooking up), everything becomes so complicated that it's not as easy to say that women have it easier than men.

Also this dating statistic women get more attention than men is a little annoying. Ask a women who that attention is by and you'll realise there are a metric ton of creeps around that litter their inboxes. Then try to explain to them that they won at dating.

Sorry for the rant, but come on.

Naus1987 · 2022-05-01T21:58:27+00:00

Saying women get it easy because men buy them stuff is really saying men have money and power and simply choose to share it. Women have no control in those examples. If the men simply decided to keep their money and power — a woman would have no option to challenge the man’s choice. Men have it easier in those examples.

Mari_Mari_Mariana · 2022-05-01T23:32:01+00:00

I have some disagreements:

Your description of the top 20% of women doesn't reflect reality. You are essentially describing someone who can live off her beauty alone and it's a very big stretch to say that 1 in 5 women can do that. This is top 1%, not 20%.
Following this logic, your description of the average woman fits better the top 20% and the unnatractive fits better the average. The really unnatractive women don't get attention at all unless they are willing to be degraded by sadists. Believe it or not, the beautiful women you see have to work hard to be beautiful.
I see as very problematic analyzing who has it easier at hookups and relationships at the same time as they don't follow the same logic. The whole dynamics change, specially what defines the top and the bottom.
Add to the disadvantages of being a woman the lower chances of orgasm. Bad sex for men is a net gain, maybe even out (don't come with the "men have to pay", 50/50 dates are more common than you are considering). For women it's a net negative as we still take all risks for zero rewards.

incredulitor · 2022-05-01T20:09:25+00:00

I would rather look at consequences of the belief than what supports it or contradicts it. You and I both know I could challenge you on any particular point, or even all of them, and that's still not really getting down to the core of it. The point is whether this leads you or anyone else reading in a direction that helps you find peace, acceptance, well-calibrated goals, and a more or less stable and safe coexistence with other people.

To start with: who is the intended audience? Are you imagining a man or a woman being on the other side of the conversation from you, hearing you say that you think women have it easier? What would you imagine it would be like for a woman to hear you say that, versus a man? Does it matter to you? If it doesn't, what do you need for yourself before you can get to the point that there is room for other people to have different experiences of it, whatever opinion you might personally land on?

leebeebee · 2022-05-02T01:11:36+00:00

Life and relationships are far more complex, varied, and wonderful than the bullshit system that you’ve described. Relationships aren’t solely transactional; sometimes people just like each other, even love each other. Unfortunately, having this kind of relationship requires loving yourself, but red-pillers seem intent on bitterly blaming women and/or society for their inability to relate to other people rather than working on themselves. Really, I feel bad for y’all, because you continue with these negative thought patterns, you’ll be miserable no matter what, even if you obtain anything you could possibly want in life. Try to be happy and healthy on your own, do things you enjoy, and you’ll have a good life whether you’re in a relationship/hooking up or not.

Greedy_Radish_394 · 2022-05-01T21:20:48+00:00

Why does it matter?

And besides, your beliefs are bizarre. "Women have a lot of choices" and a paragraph later it's like, "The 20% man has to be rich or have extremely good genetics to sleep with a beautiful woman." How, what the hell, then why would it matter how many choices women have if you yourself believe at the same time that on rare occasions they will choose something.

xvszero · 2022-05-01T23:28:21+00:00

Your math makes no sense. Just as many men date women as women date men, more or less. In fact, there are (slightly) more women in the population than men so men who date women have a (slight) advantage there.

This is a pretty obvious fact that people somehow miss when they do all this weird math trying to prove that women have it so much easier.

tenmileswide · 2022-05-01T22:12:28+00:00

>cant wear makeup to improve face

Uhh who's saying this? Literally every single man on TV at any point does.

We just had a POTUS that wore a conspicuous spray tan for ever day he was in office.

Who is this "they" that's not allowing us to wear makeup because they might be doing a shit job of it

-Faoladh- · 2022-05-01T20:39:01+00:00

It’s easy for a random woman to instantly have sex with a random man, but it is far, far more likely to come out advantageously for the man and dangerously or disadvantageously for the woman. Disregarding people’s habit of murdering sex worker or just female intimate partners in general there is thing called the pleasure gap and when you realise the depth of it you will ask yourself why in the hell women subject themselves to the amount of vulnerability and risk sex poses to them vs the reward in the first place and I say that as someone who likes sex.

Rudd504 · 2022-05-01T21:54:16+00:00

The irony is that the sooner you stop obsessing over this nonsense, and go out and start living your life and working on being the best human you can be, the sooner women will start to notice you and you will get what you're looking for.

No one on here is going to be able to help you untangle this web you've created in your mind. Only a professional can do that. Seek therapy please.

MelodiousTones · 2022-05-01T21:05:51+00:00

What women don’t have to work as much? Men have all the money and power. What the hell is this?

neoexileee · 2022-05-02T03:23:01+00:00

I think people who are attractive and are socially better have it easier than people who aren't. This is part of the game. You should either learn it and what to do to make yourself better or fail at the scene.

Emma_Lemma_108 · 2022-05-02T13:22:53+00:00

I think your issue is tied to a mindset of men VERSUS women, not your personal beliefs.

Ask yourself this: is it possible to have meaningful interactions (as in mentally/emotively fulfilling, not just touchy-feely) with someone you consciously or subconsciously view as a competitor/rival/opposing force?

If you view women and men as having generally opposite interests, experiences, and perspectives, are you going to be able to have unbiased and authentic interactions with women?

Also, you seem to feel that all disadvantages are weighed the same. Is rape not a FAR heavier disadvantage than any of the specific ones you mentioned for men? Are inherent, biological disadvantages not weighed more than social ones (for both sexes)?

A strong analysis would account for relative value, so you could question your evaluation based on that and perhaps reach a more nuanced conclusion.

Ultimately a mental paradigm in which one entire sex has it harder than the other is going to be inherently flawed because of this sort of nuance. You are falling into a very human trap: black and white thinking. Clichè, but we all do it.

As a woman it’s frustrating to hear you try to justify/explain your belief that men have it objectively harder, especially if you explain that belief as if it is fact. It can’t be fact, because it’s an inherently subjective issue.

However, I don’t think being frustrated is productive here. I catch myself generalizing men all the time and I have no desire to be a hypocrite. As I’ve gotten further into my 20s I’ve learned to interrogate those beliefs and bring in my own lived experience + the experiences men have shared with me. Maybe spend some time lurking in women’s online spaces - with an open mind and a commitment toward consideration and empathy. When you start judging, note those judgments and ask yourself why you have that reaction. Might help you gain some insight and either make you more certain of your bias/beliefs or open you up to new ones. Either way, why not explore life in the other sex’s shoes for s bit? It can’t hurt!

Philipparty · 2022-05-02T08:53:32+00:00

I could agree that being a top 5% attractive girl probably has more perks than being a top 5% attracrive guy. (Seen some, its free parties awesome parties, meeting with famous people, invites to high society just for looks).

However, youre just seen for your looks. Yeah, you get a lot of external validation, and you have a lifestyle many would want, but a lot of peopke will never know you. You also have a fear that people will use/abuse you. So the negatives are also higher.

And it should be noted that personality does matter. There are some suuuper attractive girls that are just wierd or annoying and therefore dont get these perks. And there are less attractive girls that are so fun that they get some of the perks. Vise versa, some really creepy hot/rich guys lose their perks, and some really awesome unnatractive guys that get perks.

WhoDoomsTheDoomer · 2022-05-02T10:50:57+00:00

If you got a concrete answer on the subject what would you do with it. If you were able to take a completely 100% objective look at the matter and confirmed that women have it easier then what would you do with that information? What would that knowledge bring you. What would it achieve in your life?

RedditLawEnforcer · 2022-05-02T14:36:36+00:00

I don't think you've entirely gotten over the red pill mentality

Also, here's my perspective. I'm 18 years old and fairly unattractive. No guy has ever called me pretty. I have somewhat okay social skills.

I have never been hit on by a single guy in my entire life, except for the occasional cat call. The one guy I like rejected me a few days ago, because I am ugly and rarely put much effort into exercising.

Unattractive people in general do not have it easy.

Melvin-Melon · 2022-05-02T18:30:24+00:00

You’re missing a few things on the disadvantage of being a women. Though even the ones you do mention most have to do with physical safety and crimes people have to actively do to you. Where as on the men’s disadvantages you list mostly things that led to or directly are a lack of validation. So instead of actions being done to you it’s about what people are not doing for you. It’s weird to me that based off your own list you judge men has having it harder when you list people being the victims of crime on the women’s list. Men also do go through worse things then what’s on your list but using only the list you made it’s hard to see your point on how men have it harder than women.

Greedy_Radish_394 · 2022-05-01T21:17:03+00:00

Putting on makeup, doing your hair, dressing up, plucking your eyebrows, waxing your body does not usually count as an effort. So no matter how much money and time women spend on it, the idea of "women should just exist" prevails.

imtooshortt · 2022-05-02T07:04:42+00:00

Environmental-Row979 · 2022-05-02T17:22:52+00:00

If you can still use terms like "SMV" and talk about people who are in the "top 20%" without even a hint of irony ... you have a lot more work to do. People who do not subscribe to this mindset don't commodify people in this way.
You might be starting to notice some cracks in the system (which is great -- keep examining the ways in which all that RP claims to be true doesn't really make that much sense).

Honestly, I think you're correct about needing to get your head on right before you try to pursue anything with women. Have you looked into professional counseling?

Available-Ad-9338 · 2022-05-03T20:15:01+00:00

There is more to life than just dating/sex.

Knave_of_Opossums · 2022-05-05T02:37:09+00:00

Women aren't "loved on condition"? Have you really thought this through much? Also, "constantly told privileged but not really" how old are you?

TackleOk3608 · 2022-05-01T23:57:48+00:00

Every disadvantage you list for men is just about dating. There is more to life than dating. In all other situations men have more power.

Rhubarb_Fair · 2022-05-12T20:40:17+00:00

Why the obsession with viewing woman as sexual objects and only as valuable as the way they look??

If you need to fix anything in your head before dating, its that women are people. If you cant treat a woman as a person, and enjoy her company entirely without sex on the table, you probably shouldn't be dating her. Just jerk off or hire a professional instead.

But if you want to complain about women having easier access to sex than men, go ahead. Because, sure we do. Its just not something that most of us are interested in. Its like winning a lifetime full of Caribbean cruises when you get sea sick a hundred yards out of port 🤷‍♀️.

OddPreparation3247 · 2022-05-16T21:49:44+00:00

The answer is YES, but you arrived at it from spurious and/or simplistic reasoning (deduced it from a faulty RedPill belief system). It is like you gave a correct solution to a math problem by accident (or cheating). You also seem to imply that "having it easier" equals "having better and more fulfilled life". Living under a bell jar may be easy, but is it fun?

If you listen closely to what women say, you will realize how painful such an existence is. Take note especially when they try to talk tough, give you "bootstrappy" advice, all those "life is not fair - deal with it" and "you're so entitled". It often sounds... forced, shaky. They try to be edgy because they know they have little agency in their own life. As an average male you will most likely be somewhat outside the society - like a club you were not invited to. Sure, women are in the club by default, but they have to adhere to strict rules. It may seem they live superb life, that they have all figured out, they are sharp and successful - basically, Instagram. But if you try and get to know them, you will meet many women who are brave and tough and smart, but will never know it because they are treated like children. You can be rude, you can say "fuck it!" and walk away, you can do stupid shit and have fun, punch your friend and get drunk with him a minute later. You may be short or have small dick or be poor or whatever, but as a man you will always be able to laugh at it, turn your despair into defiant determination. You can be good or evil or anything in between. You can truly love yourself for who you are, even if you are a loser - especially if you're a loser :) Women can only be wonderful, and it sucks for them.

Things that you described in your post may very well seem important - I get it, believe me. But they are just a minor part of human experience. There's much more to regret on your deathbed than not having been treated like a young woman :)

Title	Do women have it easier than men?
Author	Greedy_Radish_394
Upvotes	6
Comments	249
Date	May 1, 2022 7:21 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ug7850/do_women_have_it_easier_than_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/do-women-have-it-easier-than-men.1115944 https://theredarchive.com/post/1115944

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