“Chill, Hang out, Come through, Swing by, Meet up, Grab a coffee, Have a quick bite, or suggesting a casual walk/hike”

See the pattern of how all of these activities are ones you’d say to a friend?

Men use this language when they see you as a potential FWB, and to keep things easy going/no pressure. This way they can rationalize that you guys were just having fun, and it was nothing too serious.

However, when a man plans an “official date” he is expressing romantic interest by taking action. Formal dates are a demonstration of romantic intentions, and that they’re dating with purpose.

Note: Beware of “Are you asking ME on a date?”

This is mainly a passive or manipulative approach to get you to pursue him. Even if he jokingly says it, and you still end up in a long term relationship, these are the men that act like they’re doing you a favor. (Ex. The guys who confess after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids that they were never really attracted to you in the first place).

Think back to all of the times you took the initiative with a man by either pursuing him (or making it easier for him to pursue you). Now compare that to experiences when a man made a genuine effort to court you. Men will always take what they can get, but only respect what they earn.

That’s why we have the “date” standard, and anything less is a waste of time.