I'm not of the belief that all men are the same. But I do believe most men sympathize with the lies other men tell instead of seeing how disgusting it is.
Why is it that if I tell a man I'm not interested in casual dating, and they lie and say they aren't either, but then proceed to just casually date knowing they don't want to marry you or commit to you more than a roommate they can bang, other men that keep telling us all men aren't the same aren't as vocal about how shitty that is? Why do they think "I love you but I'm not in love with you" is an acceptable excuse when they finally are ready to stop stringing you along?
The fact a whole sub has been made to try to get in the pants of women who want commitment or nothing makes me so sad. Why can't they just respect not every woman wants casual sex and is willing to wait until someone who actually does like her and is willing and able to show it comes along?
I had a date the other night with a 40 year old man. I thought we had a great time, but when the bill came he wanted to split the check. The way I see things, if he's asking you to split a check that's really his nice way of saying I don't really like you and I don't want to impress you or invest or in you, which is fine, I don't have to be everyone's cup of tea. But he had the nerve to go in for a sneak attack kiss. Last night he texted me and offered to bring chocolate truffles and wine to my apartment, and really didn't understand why I wasn't interested, and took offense when I said it seems like he's just not that into me.
He explained of course he is, that's why he kissed me, and kept trying to get me to give him my address. I told him that I'm looking for someone who is more attracted to me than just my body and who wants to impress me, because i certainly impress myself with how i take care of myself and treat myself, and I would expect the same or more from a partner so he's not partner material to me. I got called a gold digger of course, and told him I wish him the best before I blocked him (respond to the universe with kindness and love and you'll bring that same energy back to yourself ladies!) And called my cousin to tell her about it. Her husband was eavesdropping on our conversation and said I'm too picky if I have a guy trying to bring me chocolates and wine after 1 date and I'm turning him down because he didn't pay for the first date.
It's about the lack of respect. It's about the fact a real gentleman who wanted a kiss at the end of the night would try to impress a woman, and pick up the tab first before assuming he has access to her body. It's about the fact that my home is my safe zone, and to respect that I may not want someone in my space with the intention to get me drunk after 1 date even if he did pick up the tab. His actions showed his lack of respect a lot better than the words he was lying with.
I don't even feel like dating anymore. I would rather be by myself than to keep exposing myself to this behavior. I love myelf too much to keep putting myself through this.
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