Never date the Devil’s Advocate. You may just end up in a psych ward.

AwkwardDisaster4150 · 2020-11-23T11:59:24+00:00

The worst thing about this is that she apparently has no access to their money. She would have to ask her mom for money for a train ticket? She should be able to just take the money from their joint account or something. Her having zero access to money is financial abuse.

futuristicallyangry · 2020-11-23T10:20:37+00:00

I'm at a loss for words. I have C-PTSD and I'm always in fear of being assaulted, physically, verbally, sexually abused and traumatized. I'm even scared of the idea of living with a man because of this and how it may be so difficult to escape. The power dynamic thing hits home. It shows up in my nightmares it impairs my sleeping cycles. And this scrote had the audacity to tell that woman something so threatening and still wondering if he's TA or not. I hope she leaves him for good.

Pahapan · 2020-11-23T12:17:22+00:00

And keep in mind, there's about a zero percent chance this telling of the story doesn't present him in the best light possible, assuming it's not peppered with outright lies.

This man is abusive. He didn't like the uncomfortable inkling when he started to realize it, so he came to Reddit to be soothed. I hope his wife realizes what he's doing to her and leaves.

lonechronicler · 2020-11-23T10:34:04+00:00

I should add some context. In the comments, this swine admits that he “plays the Devil’s Advocate a lot” and that he and his wife discuss these hypothetical situations “for fun” all the time. So he apparently had no idea she was take it so seriously. I mean, he just wanted to win, guys!!! (Another gem from the comments)

Almost as disgraceful is the fact that so many commenters are bending over backwards to try to see things from his point of view. Telling him they know he “meant well” and “truly loves his wife”. Like, really? What evidence do you have of that, exactly?

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-11-23T13:50:28+00:00

Notice how he completely lies about the topic they discussed. It's obvious he told her he owns her and controls her and can do whatever he wants and he feels justified because he's the one with the money.

Also take note of how he describes her reaction quivering like a little scared girl who has no power. It's exaggerated. He's enjoying it.

The "family sessions" where he will use a counselor to help him gaslight her further. Never ever ever do any kind of counseling with an abuser. Counselors do not have the training to deal with abusers and it makes abusers worse by validating all of their feelings and acting as though their intentions are good.

superderpina_ · 2020-11-23T09:47:47+00:00

She has PTSD and he tells her she is powerless and he controls her. What a disgusting POS, i bet he enjoyed that. Can only hope that she leaves him to recover from his sadistic behaviour.

Zayelle · 2020-11-23T12:35:01+00:00

Oh I know those. The ones who like to say they are just using logic when they are actually demonstrating that they have the same ability to feel empathy as a tea spoon.

2020-11-23T12:50:48+00:00

[deleted]

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2020-11-23T14:19:24+00:00

Whenever I see abusive men talk about their partner having PTSD, bipolar disorder or depression, I immediately assume she was diagnosed with it AFTER meeting him.

Abusers often convince their victim that they’re mentally unwell, and then drive them to that. They also love isolating you from friends/family and will stoop to convincing you THEYRE abusive.

You also see victims of abuse misdiagnosed as bipolar when they have PTSD. After being with an abuser for 9 years you can def misdiagnose that as CPTSD.

Edit : his post should be a reminder ladies to never tell men you’re dating about your mental health issues.

yissssssssssssssssss · 2020-11-23T13:19:51+00:00

Was just reading that thread and I'm so glad he got his ass handed to him. How fucked up do you have to be to say that shit?

throwmefaraway85 · 2020-11-23T17:08:27+00:00

How much do you want to guess that her mental health issues are either caused or reinforced by this loser after 9 years?

I struggled with mental health my whole life. At 25, a doctor said she doesn't think I have anything wrong with me mentally, but that my feelings and reactions were reasonable responses to the things that were happening and have happened to me in my life, and any normal person would have those reactions.

And guess what? She was right

n0way0ut1 · 2020-11-23T15:28:36+00:00

I literally hate him. Reminds me of how my male family members talk to me with this holier than thou act, and belittling me any chance they could.

-badmadAM · 2020-11-23T15:36:13+00:00

He just needed to rub his dominance in her face somehow, no matter he thinks how "harmless" his intentions were (or how he wants to paint is). Why on earth would he else say all this? Also he is not right, I am sure a married partner might have SOME rights to the shared finances (or has he everything blocked from her? She might have realized some things now?).

Claiming that hypothetically he could do all this to her (when she has childhood trauma and was dependent of a grown up psycho- parent as a kid) and then suddenly that the thought of it is actually ridiculous because he would never... both are bullshit moves. Just because they were together for 9 years or whatever doesn't mean he could or would not, financial abuse happens all the time. It is not something so rare and uncommon of as he claims it to be, wtf.

2020-11-23T17:07:31+00:00

After reading this I feel like her CTPSD came from him. He is abusive and admitting he will not allow her to escape. She is saying she wants to die because there is no way out for her. Never let yourself be vulnerable ladies, always control your finances.

2020-11-23T17:54:18+00:00

This just goes to show that even after being together for 9 years, even after knowing her history and things she suffered and still suffers through, this man can't properly use his empathy or really understand at a level where he could treat her fairly. He literally had to come to reddit to ask if he's the asshole. As if there was any question of it.

Flightlessbirbz · 2020-11-23T20:23:21+00:00

A normal, non-abusive person wouldn’t even think up a scenario like he did. If it were a normal relationship, she also would have her own bank account and/or access to a joint account. He clearly enjoys controlling her even if he didn’t mean to make her this upset.

This is a minor point but what does he mean they’ve been “dating” for nine years? It’s his wife. They’re married, not dating, wtf.

Milobear27 · 2020-11-23T16:19:42+00:00

Humans love and understand nuance, allegory and ritual and these fools love to pretend we are robots.

They are afraid to feel (as an Aries I would say this outloud to them)

2020-11-24T03:34:55+00:00

HOLYYYYYY SHITTTT!!!! I read this AITA but never saw the edits. Sick. To. My. Stomach. Wtf.

dkwantsdk · 2020-11-25T02:47:36+00:00

"oh yeah with what money"

The fuck??

Carpedictum · 2020-11-23T15:52:44+00:00

When my ex told me about people with money tend to have more power over their partners, I started having doubts. These doubts turned out to be true!

P.S. He kept saying that both sexes should have separate accounts and that divorce should not have the woman have the half of the cash because she didn't work hard for that money.

If I will get divorce or separation, I will not ask for alimony like what Angelina Jolie did, because I know I can feed myself and my future kids because I am capable. Plus, if I separate, I always make sure that it is 100% separation. Let the man have his money and let his dck rot in hell. Let these gassy motherfckers (forreal, even some has a fantasy of it, disgusting) rot in their monetary filth.

Title	Never date the Devil’s Advocate. You may just end up in a psych ward.
Author	lonechronicler
Upvotes	302
Comments	56
Date	November 23, 2020 9:40 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jzeprm/never_date_the_devils_advocate_you_may_just_end/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/never-date-the-devils-advocate-you-may-just-end-up.726840 https://theredarchive.com/post/726840

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