Porn isn't hot.

midwesternwinds · 2021-07-16T12:04:32+00:00

The sex pozzie crowd will prude-shame people for preferring normal sex that involves kissing and caressing and generally just... treating your spouse like a human being. For porn it's just bang, bang, bang. And they have the audacity to call the anti-porn crowd boring? Only boring people can't think of ways to be intimate that last longer than 5 minutes or don't involve treating the woman like a blowup doll.

GabbaG0ul · 2021-07-16T13:29:15+00:00

It’s like no one is even aroused in porn. There’s no indications of desire. It’s just a dude aggressively ramming his dick into a woman. It doesn’t seem like anyone wants to be there. And every time I’ve seen it, the first thought that comes to mind is “I’m sure that room smells”.

starlight_sequence · 2021-07-16T14:35:10+00:00

I've actually been spending some time thinking about this as it pertains to my personal life.

I got out of a long term relationship at the end of last year. I dreaded sex with him. It felt like something I had to check off my to-do list every week to keep him satisfied, but wasn't really something that I enjoyed.

I started dating my now-boyfriend a few months later, and I love sex with him. I actively seek it out, and even want to go again once we're finished.

I've been trying to figure out what the "secret sauce" is that makes sex with new boyfriend so much more enjoyable. And there are certainly some physical and attraction considerations (ex was obese and on the low end of average sized, new boyfriend has a six pack and is on the larger end, etc.) but I don't think that's the main reason.

I think it's porn sex vs. eroticism.

Sex with my ex felt tainted by porn. There was no finesse, no build up, no seduction... everything was so genital-centric and rushed. It was more about the idea of what looks like good sex vs what actually feels like good sex.

My new boyfriend seems to understand that the entire body is an erogenous zone. There's sensual kissing and touch, there's a gradual build up of intensity, there's play and affection and intimacy and eye contact... and we pretty much stick to missionary the entire time. Sex doesn't have to be some visually exciting performance for it to be good.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-07-16T10:15:05+00:00

Porn always been funny looking and gross to me. All those weird angles.

veruscka · 2021-07-16T11:29:38+00:00

Porn is mundane

TrixieFriganza · 2021-07-16T08:03:07+00:00

Just thinking too about all the huge fake plastic lips, tits, asses and penises that must be in porn how can that be hot? To confess before FDS when I was bit curious that was att least all I saw which thankfully totally put me off porn though even before FDS. To men it clearly is hot but it's so sad when girls start to think that they have to look like that to even get a man or to be seen as attractive, it's such a lie and the porn industry probably has a lot to do with this and pick-me celebrities like the Kardashians who think they have to look almost like pornstars and fake even if they're extremely succesful already.

dimsummer- · 2021-07-16T07:46:29+00:00

I agree. I've always found seduction to be so hot. A bit of eye contact, a flirty look, witty banter... etc. I feel like that's been totally lost these days with online dating and porn, everything is so obvious now.

At one point I was looking for something casual on dating apps (way before I found FDS lol) and 90% of profiles sent a first message saying 'wanna hook up tonight'/'wanna come to mine right now' or something equally uninspired. They couldn't fathom that I still wanted the flirting and the chemistry even though I didn't want the commitment.

1Here4Bach · 2021-07-16T12:27:29+00:00

Porn is for the male gaze. That’s why it looks rushed and rapey.

melonmagellan · 2021-07-16T14:22:07+00:00

Seriously. I'd rather watch a documentary about the history of toothpicks while masturbating (and I really don't want to watch a documentary about the history of toothpicks at all. Ever.)

Gourmay · 2021-07-16T08:59:56+00:00

Seriously.. I really miss sexy and there being room for imagination. Remember music videos like Wicked Game? Now everything is LOOK AT MY GENITALS AHHHHH!!

There’s a TED talk about how terrible porn is that discusses how hands seem to be missing from porn. People aren’t even shown caressing each other anymore.

Professional-Pea-317 · 2021-07-16T14:36:00+00:00

Scrotes are in my inbox trying to convince me porn is female liberation 😂

foodgrowerfoodeater · 2021-07-16T12:06:55+00:00

bruh western media is so pornofied. I recently started watching k dramas and realized how profoundly lacking western media is of romance. The focus is almost always sex. I actually can't remember the last time I watched english/western media play out a full on courtship or romance story line in full without cutting to sex way too soon, or a romance that wasn't something to do with hookup culture.

edit: okay there was bridgerton but was that not also pornofied... just with a british accent

revengeofgivingtree · 2021-07-16T14:58:06+00:00

Theres a great essay about this called "Everyone is Beautiful and no one is Horny". Heres the link: https://bloodknife.com/everyone-beautiful-no-one-horny/

Peak_Tree · 2021-07-16T19:06:36+00:00

I blame pornified western media for my adiction for chinesse historical dramas ( and a couple modern ones). So refreshing to see chemistry, non sexual touching, how much flirting/loving/sexuality the actors can show with a single glance...while over here we have GoT and the most famous actrecess ( think Alexandra Daddario) HAVE to strip off on screen if they want to have a career.

motioncaptureF · 2021-07-16T07:30:49+00:00

Thank you for this post ! Everything is so pornified nowadays...trendy woman clothing... Rap songs ... Like do I even have to explain ..

ScallionOk958 · 2021-07-16T07:32:44+00:00

The moment women and men were no longer acting human on screen was the moment that the eroticism stopped.

Hedy__Lamarr · 2021-07-16T18:58:06+00:00

This makes me randomly remember those really dirty ads that Geoffery Holder's character would present in the movie Boomerang. They were so over the top pornographic (but sans nudity) that everyone looked like they wanted a shower afterwards.

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Title	Porn isn't hot.
Author	Professional-Pea-317
Upvotes	1823
Comments	49
Date	July 16, 2021 6:08 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/olaxgo/porn_isnt_hot/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/porn-isnt-hot.793115 https://theredarchive.com/post/793115

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