Thanks for keeping us aware

londochig · 2021-10-17T04:44:06+00:00

It was a set up. Women are socialised to go against their instincts and suspicions. Always trust your gut. Things never go well when you don't. Men who genuinely need assistance to jump start their car will ask other men. They generally don't perceive women being able to help them with that. The auto-industry is also male dominated. The behavior you described is suspicious even when you break it down logically. Always trust your instinct.

lansburysoda · 2021-10-17T02:07:48+00:00

This is super sus. Good for you for following your instincts.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-10-17T01:43:26+00:00

Even if it was completely innocent and you just happened to be the first one to exit, I wish people like him would think about how it looks and feels from out side. He might be the biggest teddy bear in the world, but we constantly have to be on guard because there’s no way to know who is good and bad.

And no, scrotes of the world, “I’m nice” doesn’t cut it. The bad ones don’t stroll up with a handlebar mustache announcing their bad intentions, after all.

yeahhh22 · 2021-10-17T05:51:28+00:00

Something similar happened to me. I said no I have to be somewhere. He got so pissed off and inquired where I have to be. There were plenty of other people. Why me? Easy target I guess.

Fun_Sherbet · 2021-10-17T02:24:02+00:00

Someone on here recently said they do not help men ~~unless there is bl0od, f1re, or bod1es.~~ Women and girls need to commit that to memory!

EDIT. DO NOT HELP STRANGE MEN, PERIOD. READ THE COMMENT BY RABIDWENCH BELOW

kaylesta · 2021-10-17T04:28:32+00:00

You made the right call for sure. The context makes it practically impossible not to see it as predatory. I used to fall into the trap of helping men when they asked for things until I realised a lot of this misogynistic from the outset. Asking a woman because she is more likely to say yes, not call out your bs, ‘protect’ your masculinity because you were able to tidy up your problem without involving men, because you only really care what other men think

Eucalyptia · 2021-10-17T12:49:36+00:00

idk. Maybe it was innocent, but there were multiple men at this store he could have asked. He was easily 6’3” and well over 250 pounds

Exact same happened to me. A man ran up to me asking for help about something to do with his credit card (already sketch af). I'm like, you're really gonna ask me, the 5'1 woman standing all by herself? Either you're intentionally pulling some shady shit or your self awareness is fucking shot. And don't dare think I'm rude if I refuse to go off with you, stop pretending you don't know what world we live in. Go ask a man.

plomerst · 2021-10-17T13:41:24+00:00

Reminds me when I was walking and had my dad on the phone. A car full of men stopped to ask me for directions- there were plenty of other men around. My dad shouted into the phone “don’t stop, they are lying!”

drowsypillowprincess · 2021-10-17T17:10:37+00:00

Men don’t ask women for help. They ask other men.

Same way that adults don’t ask children for help. They ask other adults.

If an adult asks a child to do anything other than call 911 or get an adult, it’s sketchy. I’d tell my child this. Adults ask other adults for help, not children.

And adult men don’t ask women for help when there are other men around. I never help adult men. I’ll call 911 or alert someone if it’s a life threatening situation of course (I’m not a nurse or trained to perform first aid so I’m staying away from all that), but my bodily safety is worth more than a man’s emotions, convenience, and time.

Ninja_Flower_Lady · 2021-10-17T09:03:30+00:00

First, one of the comments said auto industry is dominated by men so it would make sense to ask a dude first. We generally assume men would know more about cars. So yes, there’s a chance it was shady.

Second, even if he didn’t have any evil intent, the fact that he asked you instead of other men shows a disrespect. It’s like he feels less bad or intimidated to inconvenience you. It reminds me of this book I had to read for class about AIDS in the 80s. This Indian doctor said this elderly white couple who were well-respected in their town chose to see him instead of the many other white doctors around. Not bc this Indian dude was some super doctor, but bc the couple felt more comfortable sharing something they considered embarrassing to a poc rather than a fellow white dr.

Sorry, went on a slight tangent, but it really irks me when people generally feel more comfortable asking women for favors bc they’re seen as less threatening or respected.

iheartnoodlez · 2021-10-17T02:35:22+00:00

Good for you for trusting your instincts!

mandoa_sky · 2021-10-17T03:10:44+00:00

for some reason people always expect women to be more likely to be willing to help.

eg. my happily married dad is always more likely to ask a lady for directions when lost

however, he knows that me his genetic kid, has been known to get lost even when carrying a map with perfect gps

TurquoiseCephalopod · 2021-10-17T16:30:08+00:00

I was camping with the family like 20 years ago. A man comes up to me and my siblings/other kids asking for help finding his dog on the beach. We had walkie talkies to our parents and thank God we asked first. Dad was like "hell no! Fuck that guy. In fact come play poker" or some shit. When we got back he told us the probable reasoning behind it and that if an adult really needed help he would find another adult. I feel the same here, like others and you have said, if it were a real issue he needed to ask another man

shedipity · 2021-10-17T11:59:06+00:00

This sub is just so important to women. So so important and valuable.

takingbackitall · 2021-10-17T13:03:24+00:00

The most important thing I ever learned from FDS is that men are not socialized to ask women for help

They will ALWAYS ask another man if it's legitimate, because of patriarchy and misogyny, 99% of the time he won't want to hurt his ego by having to ask a woman for help

If a man asks you for help, that is super sus

You may have potentially saved your life

Muffcakelord · 2021-10-17T09:02:55+00:00

It's not at all weird to say no to a man asking you for help since men generally think, and brag about, women being weak and incompetent. Why would they ever ask us for help over a man when they're the same people who have been denying us human rights for being assumed too incompetent for anything? Makes no sense unless it is to fuck with us. In principle we should deny men help as a kind of protest until we reach equality even if it won't happennin our lifetime.

fangirl489 · 2021-10-17T14:07:01+00:00

I got my spidey senses activated hearing this story second hand I can’t imagine how yours would’ve been going off irl

XNjunEar · 2021-10-17T12:11:08+00:00

Ladies: just call the first man you see and ask them to help that guy, then gtfo.

See a man hurt? Get in your car, lock, then call 911.

immortallogic · 2021-10-17T09:14:03+00:00

Men rarely ever ask women for help without negative intentions. You did the right thing.

Eris_Adrienne · 2021-10-17T12:02:06+00:00

Good on you for following your instincts, it can be hard sometimes. A man will never ask a woman for help, unless there's no other choice. And even then it's 50/50

WornTheTshirt73 · 2021-10-17T20:46:44+00:00

Even if he was legit … you owe him nothing

diablasmademedoit · 2021-10-17T11:55:03+00:00

Super suspect ! Never question your intuition

SayNad · 2021-10-17T10:29:50+00:00

If he actually needs help, a true masculine-minded man will never ask a woman for help - it is a pride thing, they rather suffer and die than being seen ask weak in front of a woman.

If a man especially ask a woman for help, it comes with hidden intention.

ironglaciers · 2021-10-17T12:50:51+00:00

I would have said "I don't have jumper cables, sorry" (even though I totally do in my trunk) and walked on. Also, they sell jumper cables at any gas station. I don't know if your corner store was near one or it actually is a convenience store too, but he could have asked staff to help or call for road service for him.

Good call.

Title	Thanks for keeping us aware
Author	MuffinSongs
Upvotes	1076
Comments	50
Date	October 17, 2021 1:35 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q9p4fk/thanks_for_keeping_us_aware/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/thanks-for-keeping-us-aware.1079087 https://theredarchive.com/post/1079087

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