We are really expected to be work mules from birth

ivarteefies · 2020-02-26T00:50:44+00:00

[deleted]

throwaway23004345 · 2020-02-26T00:58:51+00:00

I absolutely hate my aunt for this.

My cousin, "C" was so smart. She was literally perhaps a genius. She was told she could skip 2 grades. She was put into every available accelerated program.

My aunt decided to have 6 children total, and C, being the oldest female, did so much of the child care. She had to stop going to after school clubs. She stopped soccer.

And my aunt was a stay at home mom with a super supportive husband. They got pregnant at 19 years old, he immediately quit school and went into construction to make as much money as he could so she could stay home. They had 2 kids.

C was about 10 years old, her brother 14, and my uncle asked my aunt to start working since the kids were in school. Even if it was part time. She said no, and went back to school. He said fine that makes sense.

She dropped out and didn't tell him.

When he asked her to return to work, she said she wanted another kid. And then another. And then he put his foot down when she asked for number 5 because he felt like he was being used.

She divorced him and had 2 more kids and remarried.

C got stuck doing so much of the child rearing. She didn't go to university. She got a certificate to be a glorified babysitter and operates a small babysitting business that's mostly her siblings and her mom's friends. She barely gets paid from real clients because she has no time.

I 100% believe that C's life was ruined by the expectation that she raise her siblings. It makes me so goddamn mad.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-02-25T23:18:28+00:00

[deleted]

nnns · 2020-02-25T23:33:28+00:00

Meeeeeeeeee my parents fed me this message since birth. I was my brothers caretaker before my own

super-vain · 2020-02-25T23:52:48+00:00

“i know he meant no harm”

might want to rethink that sentiment ma’am

FodderFigureIllushun · 2020-02-26T01:15:59+00:00

My aunt did this to her daughter, my cousin. My cousin is responsible and reliable. She took care of all her younger siblings and is providing for her mom and dad and whatever the family needs.

While I admire her for being a bad bitch, I resent her parents for not letting her grow into her own self. To my knowledge, she's never dated or been close to having a romantic relationship because she's too busy taking care of everyone else.

Her parents are professionals but because they fell into some hard times, they relied on everyone else to help them out, mainly my cousin. It doesn't seem like she minds but she's older than me and hasn't experienced life outside of providing for her family.

BookwormJane · 2020-02-26T03:25:31+00:00

Girl isn't even born and is expected to be a housemaid already. I have no hopes for the modern man.

mandoa_sky · 2020-02-26T01:15:33+00:00

my parents said that about me too. and they wonder why my little bro's a slob

ivy176 · 2020-02-26T03:49:04+00:00

No harm? Like giving up all your personal needs and desires to act like a mother to people you didn't give birth to or adopt is not harmful?

ComfortableHead3 · 2020-02-26T04:48:05+00:00

I can't find the article to link to, but it is known and documented that daughters will not put their parents in rest homes, but their sons will, so it's not just from birth it's to the grave as well.

7_0f_9 · 2020-02-26T02:19:34+00:00

i was once in a LDR where the guy already expected me to have 4 children for him after only a month of talking... obviously dumped his ass lol

sweatydeath · 2020-02-26T03:09:06+00:00

I’d rather have a girl - she is more likely to go to college. A boy would have a higher chance of ending up in prison. Males are filling up the jails while females are getting more degrees than ever.

okmage · 2020-02-26T05:18:10+00:00

If you’re the eldest daughter you’re familiar with carrying the emotional baggage of at least one parents, and acting as a parent for your younger siblings.

tauruspiscescancer · 2020-02-26T06:21:50+00:00

This is the default role of daughters in African and other ethnic households. I speak from experience. That shit is toxic as fuck.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-02-26T00:52:37+00:00

[deleted]

Alybank · 2020-02-26T03:54:55+00:00

My SIL family did this to her, and so she now maybe doesn’t want kids. He might after a lot of years but she told me at thanksgiving(with her family) that she already feels like she raised two kids(her younger sisters) so she may not want to raise anymore.

Davina33 · 2020-02-26T05:58:30+00:00

I felt this. I'm the oldest and the only female. I was forced to bring up my 3 younger brothers by my drink and drug addled parents. I believe the term is 'parentified'. Absolutely horrible, forced to do the chores whilst my brothers could do what they liked. It's a big part of why I am child free. We are treated as mules.

REDfanradfem · 2020-02-26T08:14:09+00:00

I think that making the oldest child raise their younger siblings is child abuse.

Every child has the right to be a child, no matter if your the youngest or the oldest. A child is not fully evolved / developed to be able to raise a child, so if you ask them to do this, you ask them to do something which is beyond their capabilities. Which lead to the younger children not being raise right because their older child is not developed enough to be able to raise them in the right way. So this abuse doesn’t only effect the oldest child.

So in conclusion this is child abuse.

dalia-chan · 2020-02-26T05:55:59+00:00

My boyfriend told me that he wants a boy first, so that wether he’s little sibling will be a girl or a boy, he will protect him

_linay · 2020-02-26T06:03:37+00:00

This was true for me. I went on to have 3 kids, 2 living, by some miracle but refuse to have anymore. I’m flipping exhausted! Anyone who wants to date me needs to accept I’m done birthing babies.

NibbleNomNom · 2020-02-26T05:00:00+00:00

Many Chinese parents, especially the older generations, have this exact mentality.

DudeQueen · 2020-02-26T06:48:17+00:00

This hit me like a ton of bricks. Even with all I knew about and my experiences with female socialization, the way this tweet is worded just kicked me in the heart. I pretty much raised my little brother, and know so many other first daughters who did so with their own siblibgs. :/

cheezyshrimp93 · 2020-02-26T07:32:06+00:00

I see it for asian household. You are not just a caretaker but a Guinea pig for everything, and then your siblings will step on you to get ahead easier. Glad I am an only child because I would rebel.

megaveli · 2020-02-26T09:44:44+00:00

men who are cruel to women are destined to have daughters

delicateearthbabe · 2020-02-26T08:44:50+00:00

"I know he meant no harm"

That is a lie.

tckyoghcul · 2020-02-26T07:33:41+00:00

At 9 years I took care of the entire household, I could cook and clean everything. I even had to take care of my little brother during my moms holiday for a few days, while he was only 5 months old back then.

Now he is 12 and doesn’t even have to prepare his own school lunch and can’t eat unless someone is there to prepare it for him.

Fredredphooey · 2020-02-26T10:25:34+00:00

He just wants a free babysitter.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-02-26T12:03:53+00:00

Some guys from men’s rights messaged me about this and I blocked 😂😂

StunningJudge · 2020-02-26T22:36:30+00:00

Proof that guys are always going to be wrong

Comments