What are your thoughts?

shockingupdate · 2021-10-05T05:01:00+00:00

Personally I think the sentiment itself is cute, despite the fact that he’s clearly pandering to an audience. I would prefer to see more men expressing love for their partners on camera amongst their friends than on an anonymous forum, but at the same time…I wouldn’t be against seeing more men on this platform saying positive things about their partners, you know?

I wouldn’t think this post reeked of male validation-seeking if it were posted anywhere else but the manosphere capital of the internet, but…alas.

KindredMaximus · 2021-10-05T06:18:55+00:00

I've got to say - I love music and singing. Singing in an environment of 'everything you do is wrong and I'm gonna sit here and glower until your mood is dampened' really sucked.

Once he was gone - we all sang, walking around, cleaning, cooking, whatever. Now, I only live with my youngest daughter and I LOVE hearing her moving around the place and singing. It's really brightens my day. Even our neighbour has commented on it.

I can't shit on this dude for his love and I enjoy reading something positive for a change - but I will say, the way he puts it is very paternalistic, as in '' Aw, isn't she a cute little, silly thing'' - "I can look down fondly upon her''. And this kind of paternalistic shit annoys me.

edited to add - Or I could just be an old jaded curmudgeon and he genuinely feels the way I do. If so, more power to them.

Feministtiktok · 2021-10-05T17:32:19+00:00

Something about the way he wrote it almost sounds like he’s slightly mad about it but it’s weird because it’s anon so he can be honest and admit it annoys him so maybe he just is really bad at knowing how to not sound like a dick when he’s trying to say how he likes his fiancé? There’s a cute way to word it that your fiancé is a bad singer and sings anyway but the way he wordered it was almost like “hahaha she’s so bad. It makes me wanna die. It makes me miserable. It’s so cute. Love it. So fucking ugly. Hideous. So bad. Nobody could tolerate or love her if they heard it. But I do in spite of how hideous she is when she sings 💙 love u babe.” It’s written so awkwardly?? Like bro why r u writing this even Like go get a diary this is a weird thing to say

Platipus6 · 2021-10-05T04:11:55+00:00

I'm such a good guy for publicly humiliating my quirky girlfriend behind her back :)

pickadaisy · 2021-10-05T13:38:24+00:00

“Hi, I’m a man who puts up with a minor oddity about the woman who puts up with ALL MY SHIIIT. I’m the prize, right?”

No, sir, you are not.

arnezuara · 2021-10-05T03:51:57+00:00

He’s trying to get some brownie points for... being a good partner?

scorchedsouI · 2021-10-05T08:46:17+00:00

I dislike it. Imo it's fine to think that someone is musically untalented, but letting others know so that you can low-key boast about what a great boyfriend you are to accept her anyway is lame.

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2021-10-05T06:37:01+00:00

Men being wholesome and having a genuine love (of course if you love someone you dont care weather they can sing in tune or not. Basically when you are authentically in love there would be plenty of heartwarming examples like this. I think men have such high rates of relationships that are simply about having "sex on tap" with any willing and submissive female, to the point that a dude can simply just be genuinely inlove with a woman for who she is, and everyone loses there mind about how special he is. Its cookies for bare minimum because bar has been set so low by the majority. It seams to surface a lot on reddit, these OPs act as the patron saints for "not all men"ists . If things were reversed it would be like a woman saying, My husband dick is not much to look at. Its really very unimpressive. BUT i love him so much that I have sex with him, and I even enjoy the feeling of his dick, like it doesnt even matter that its ugly! Aren't I a prime example of a great woman?!

hazelbutter35 · 2021-10-05T12:41:59+00:00

Nothing screams romance like dissing your girlfriend on the internet. I get what he’s trying to do here, but no. Not only is this a ridiculously backhanded compliment, but he’s also only giving this compliment to seek validation from strangers over how amazing of a boyfriend he is. Gross.

shedipity · 2021-10-05T06:18:47+00:00

Why do they feel the need to post this online to strangers? That’s what gets me. “I’ve never told her this ANS never will” yet tells strangers on reddit.

IndigoTR · 2021-10-05T05:59:12+00:00

Um… it’s just not giving me authentic??? 🤷🏾‍♀️ But I could be wrong.

FunResponsibility826 · 2021-10-05T05:51:27+00:00

Sounds condescending to me. Why did he feel the need to post about this? Just keep it to yourself dude

heaudle · 2021-10-05T13:31:53+00:00

This post reminds me of a friend. She also could not sing and was a bit tone deaf but my thoughts toward her were much the same - though non romantic. I loved when she sang because it was something she enjoyed and it made her happy. I knew that her continuing to sing would also only improve her skills. I enjoyed singing together with her as well, encouraged her to sing even though other people would be rude to her (subtly or not) about her voice. I didn't want her to be insecure about it. The last time I heard her sing her voice have become something beautiful, more than it was before, and I was proud of her. I'm still not a good singer but this is my mindset when I approach the subject and I do get irritated at people if they treat me rudely because I am enjoying some singing. I'm not a build-a-bitch. Let people sing happily regardless of their talents and also let them practice if they want. I can already use my voice for so many things, singing is just another thing that I want to add to the list. As far as the post, I appreciate the honesty and his endearment towards his fiancé's voice. I understand that entirely.

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2021-10-05T11:40:05+00:00

It’s very pandering, for sure. Look how sweet he is, appreciating her bad signing! The fact he posted it to Reddit is a little annoying.

That said, I did laugh while reading it, because I’m musical and my husband cannot carry a tune to save his life—but he’s always composing and singing new lyrics to songs in honor of me and our cats, which I find really cute. So I can relate 🤷‍♀️

throwaway-fds · 2021-10-05T14:15:28+00:00

🤨

I feel if it was genuine and not for internet points he wouldn't call her singing "shit". He wouldn't even think it was bad, just that he loves to hear her voice. "I love listening to you" vs "You sound like shit but I love listening to you"

warinmymind94 · 2021-10-05T09:03:43+00:00

Seems like a huge neg sandwich. He is dissing her singing and look at his choice of words they are all negative when describing it. He seems to enjoy the fact that she isn't good at something. Some of us are thinking the sentiment is cute but I am weary of this. Seems like he wants to keep her down.

Edit: plus the fact he is telling the internet this as well as his friends probably? To me it's pointing out she's bad at something. Sort of reminds me of a parent pretending a toddlers artwork is superb and putting it on the fridge. I am weary.

TrixieFriganza · 2021-10-05T10:15:13+00:00

I think he loves her or I doubt he would enjoy her singing if he didn't (if he's actually honest about enjoying it I mean) but att the same time I think it's disrespectful towards her to tell this to everyone and he talks about her like she's His daughter or something which makes me feel eek. Okay I can actually see two scenarios that he loves her, didn't mean any harm and is just ignorant that this isb't quite appropriate on social media. The other scenario is more worrying that he did this on purpose to humiliate and put her down to show his power, the oaternal way he's talking is actually pretty worrying now that I think about it and it I was her family and friends I would get suspicious and watch the relationship, maybe ask her how she felt about it or if it was just some sweet, silly fun between them.

throwaway122641 · 2021-10-05T13:32:22+00:00

It's a no from me, because you can bet after the honeymoon phase this guy is going to throw it in her face and crush her.

W3remaid · 2021-10-05T10:18:54+00:00

I think it’s sweet— he knows he can’t tell her or anyone in their lives so he posts anonymously— but I know what he means. When you love someone, these little “imperfections” become beautiful and lovable.

emeraldcuts · 2021-10-05T05:48:55+00:00

Hasn’t anyone else detected that what he likes is how it makes him feel superior? He just can’t help himself chuckling, thinking he’s the only one aware she can’t sing. Never occurred to silly little wife, of course. But he’s not telling her, oh no. She must be protected from the cruel world. And only he has the power! And the silent satisfaction he can sing better. That’s how it read to me. 😒

spinsterchachkies · 2021-10-05T05:17:38+00:00

Aw kinda cute

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-10-05T11:30:48+00:00

Hm. I'm with the other comments that say it comes off as humiliating and backhanded, pointing out what she isn't skilled at.

It sounds a bit like: "Look at how awful and annoying my girlfriend is, but I don't care, I still love her, I will gladly deal with her bad singing".

A bit like a backhanded neg. He kinda insulted her because he went a bit into detail with the description of her singing, but she couldn't say anything against it because he did it nicely? I mean, you can say that he had to drag it out to make the post, but why would he post that in the first place?

Most people aren't trained singers and don't hit a tune, but sing at home, in the car, under the shower because it is fun and no one else makes such a fuss about it. He probably sings like this too.🤷‍♀️

I just hope he doesn't tell his girlfriend that she sings like an angel while he comes to reddit to talk about how bad she sounds.

sad-porcupine · 2021-10-05T13:12:10+00:00

I feel the exact same way about my partner, actually. He sings while he washes dishes or showers, and I will often pause what I'm listening to or watching to listen to him. It makes me happy to see him so happy. He knows he can't sing, and is insecure about it, but I tell him all the time how much I love his singing. And I truly do.

Idk I think some of y'all might be a little harsh here. Sometimes it feels nice to tell an online anonymous space when you can't tell anyone else. And you're allowed to gush that your partner is cute without infantilizing them.

Edit: people keep down voting this, but I've yet to get response that explains why they disagree. If you disagree, please tell me! I'm new to FDS and I like conversations.

xfelugirlx · 2021-10-06T03:38:01+00:00

Keep it to yourself, you are no better for saying it out loud and making your gf uncomfortable . Douchebag.

bonghits4jess · 2021-10-06T20:36:02+00:00

I don’t like this because it reminds me of how my ex would treat me. He used to tell me things like “you should be grateful I put up with you,” like he genuinely thought he should be patted on the back for sticking around during difficult moments (that he caused) and this gives me a little bit of that vibe. Like why is he “silently irate” vs mildly annoyed? Why is he even annoyed at all? Most people can’t sing but he describes her singing as “can’t carry a tune if it had handles.” Like yeah dude we get that she can’t sing, you don’t need to beat us over the head with it. Especially telling this to complete strangers? What is gained from this?

I remember my ex would get angry about me playing my screamo music. I didn’t do it often only when I felt like reminiscing. And he HATED it but since it was my car and I was driving him somewhere he couldn’t tell me shit. The level of anger he felt towards the situation was disproportionate. I’m sensing that this guy is suppressing how much it annoys him by writing a public post expressing what a great bf he is for tolerating it.

Maybe I’m just reading into it too much but I felt uncomfortable reading it. I had to really sit with it and listen to my intuition.

putequitue · 2021-10-05T04:35:37+00:00

Or worse he’s trying to get attention from new women. I see this sometimes when a guy is publicly really sweet around animals. He’s looking for that “awwww” from surrounding females.

Ok-Try5560 · 2021-10-05T04:50:26+00:00

There could be a better way of writing that post so that it wouldn't upset his gf is she saw it. Just say something like it doesn't matter if you're bad at a hobby; having a good time is the most important. The descriptions of her bad singing and him laughing secretly feel condescending.

Muniraibrahim · 2021-10-05T13:05:43+00:00

Men are narcissistic and sociopathic the girl should dump this man he’s probably disgusting looking aswell talking about a women’s ability to sing with his dumbass

Title	What are your thoughts?
Author	glendoraza
Upvotes	525
Comments	46
Date	October 5, 2021 3:43 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q1mojv/what_are_your_thoughts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-are-your-thoughts.1077344 https://theredarchive.com/post/1077344

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