It’s that time of year—kitten season! We took in a pregnant stray (Sharon) last year and she gave birth to three adorable kittens: two girls and a boy. Unfortunately my parents are irresponsible cat owners and failed to get Sharon fixed, so she just had a second litter (in six months).

I stepped in and made an appointment to get Sharon and all of the older kittens fixed. The older kittens get fixed this coming Monday. My dad, however, keeps saying that he and Bubbles (boy kitten) are going for a drive Monday morning so we can’t lop off Bubbles’ balls.

I asked him why he was so attached to Bubbles’ balls. It’s not like I’m having some philosophical hang up about spaying Sharon. I think it’s healthier for her not to be constantly in heat, and to be nursing and caring for so many kittens. But my dad seems to be deeply upset that we’re neutering Bubbles. I told him I think he’s projecting his anxiety over losing his own balls onto Bubbles (my mom snorted) and that he was getting to a place of weird feline toxic masculinity.

He said I’ve neutered every man in my life, feline or human alike. 🤷‍♀️

It reminds me of the “neuticles” thing. Some scrote was so fucked up about getting his dog fixed that he made artificial testicles to sort of preserve the dog’s manhood.

It’s insane. Everything men do and think about seems to be driven by what’s between their legs.