When he says "You're so insecure"...

Fuckdoesithurt956 · 2021-07-19T12:02:56+00:00

Of course I'm going to be insecure, his behavior is demonstrating that he would cheat on me given the chance, which obviously puts my health and financial future at risk. And I know many think JuSt BeCaUsE I loOk DoEsN't mEaN i'Ll ToUcH, I guarentee any man who follows an instragram model would fuck her if she allowed. Pickme's are delusional for thinking otherwise.

proudpine · 2021-07-19T11:42:41+00:00

He’s just trying to turn the blame around on you so he can put his pee-pee first 🚮

Platipus6 · 2021-07-19T11:52:50+00:00

I remember the good old days when we had unfounded insecurities like a big nose or ears that stick out, and our partner didn't care and reassured you that he loved you.

This gross misuse of "insecure" from men who actively don't make us feel secure is "shut up and let me beat my dick to thousands of other women".

poppinkitty · 2021-07-19T11:47:45+00:00

I also get this when I say no to sending nudes or racey pictures. The guy pulls this bs. This statement is an instant Block.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-07-19T13:33:49+00:00

If a man ever looks at other women in front of you or you find out he's a porn addict and especially if he tells you you're insecure from having a problem with it you don't need to communicate anything with him. You don't need to communicate your boundaries and then leave if they're not respected yet again. He already knows what he's doing. He's like a dog pissing on the furniture. Just leave.

ItsFreezen · 2021-07-19T14:02:49+00:00

Scrote's can't handle it, if you point out a hot guy in front of him. He will have a tantrum over it.

GoddessIxtab · 2021-07-19T11:58:03+00:00

Agreed, it's not a compelling argument.

Calling someone insecure for having reasonable standards seems to be the new black.

Radenoughyet · 2021-07-19T15:04:41+00:00

Yup. My LVX was constantly hitting on other women, texting women when we were spending time together, and slowly withdrew his affection but if I brought it up he would say “I’m tired of how insecure you are.” If I tried to be vulnerable with him in any way, he would label it as insecurity. I started to believe him- I mean, I was pretty insecure for sticking around.

blackmetalbetty · 2021-07-19T15:41:18+00:00

Taken people that do this are so weird and fundamentally damaged. Society really needs to get back to it's shaming glory, you got people taking up space and time in a relationship while they get off on people who don't even know they exist. They probably mentally paste the model's image over the ~~human fleshlight~~ doting girlfriend during disappointing, one sided sex. This sub really drives home how many things in society are normalized that are just depraved and senseless.

Acrobatic-March-9763 · 2021-07-19T12:17:47+00:00

That phrase is textbook gaslighting.

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2021-07-19T14:28:27+00:00

Try mentioning how hot you think his friends are. He'd have an epic mantrum meltdown. Funny how they expect us just to swallow infidelity and look the other way.

itsdonny · 2021-07-19T13:09:10+00:00

It's just deflection when they say this. They're just trying to take the focus off of their crap behavior by making it seem like it's your fault instead.

Newwavesupport3657 · 2021-07-19T16:35:22+00:00

It’s a projection too; insecure men are degenerate porn wankers who can’t connect or commit to one woman. They objectify women to “feel like a man” cause they don’t feel they measure up to other men, and use women to feel superior. It’s pathetic really. He’s the one whose insecure.

relationship_reddit · 2021-07-19T13:40:59+00:00

When he says "You're so insecure"...

Yeah, I AM insecure.

I'm done (and have been for quite some time) with men suggesting insecurity is a character flaw. No, it is a perfectly normal response to being made to being made to feel like you're not good enough, or like you're competing for your man's attention with another woman.

YES, you messaging people that you tried to fuck in the past DOES make me insecure. You scrolling Instagram looking at half-naked women DOES make me insecure. Those are normal things to be bothered by in a relationship.

If he can't do the bare minimum of making it clear he has eyes for you and you only, that's HIS flaw, not yours.

veniphyl · 2021-07-19T15:08:02+00:00

I would be too disgusted to communicate.

Twolipz_78 · 2021-07-19T15:16:49+00:00

I need a good comeback for accusations of insecurity besides “call you IMAX because you’re projecting”.

Yellowsunflowerlover · 2021-07-19T14:58:16+00:00

When he says "You're so insecure"
Thanks to FDS, if anyone tells me this, I'm cutting them off. That statement is so disgusting to me when someone uses it.

modernmedusaa · 2021-07-19T15:40:26+00:00

Triangulation, especially when it’s super deliberate and obvious is an instant romance killer.

Why am I going to take a guy serious & ignore other options if he’s ogling waitress’s and random women in-front of me all the time, like he’s intentionally trying to bother me lol. No thanks. Can’t see a future there.

Honestly this is more likely to make a woman hostile, closed off / disinterested & just see the guy as a wallet just passing through & nothing more. Because he’s playing clown games & trying to knock her down which is evidence he’s weak / insecure about his position. Quite the turn off.

Women get 500x the interest of men & that’s why they try to belittle us with this bullshit even if you’re loyal.

Just makes them look insecure tbh. Carry on if you’re tryna get dumped & left for a wealthier /better looking guy.

If a man is deliberately leering at waitresses he’s attention seeking on purpose. Which is just embarrassing to witness tbh.

Drop his ass.

That isn’t you being insecure, that’s him being insecure, attention seeking, disrespectful & embaressing. He’s the one reaching for THEIR attention. He’s the one trying to be SEEN.

Men really think this is going to belittle me into submission to their abuse.

How about no, I get enough interest thanks. The fuck do I look like staying loyal to a man who’s ogling every woman in sight on purpose. Bye.

It’s all fun & games till you leave.

FirePreferred_theOG · 2021-07-19T19:28:30+00:00

The moment I realized I am not in a competition with ANYONE except myself is the moment that fundamentally changed my life.

And even now, it's now it's not a competition with myself in a negative sense. It's like, "good job you did great!! Let's see what else you can do!!!" I'm becoming my biggest cheerleader.

And old patterns are still there, I hear the voice of my former self comparing myself to other women, to other people. And I say, let's reframe that... how can we build them up instead of try and compete with their light and energy? Some days I'm better than others but I'm sooooo much happier.

If I EVER feel anyone trying to pit me against someone else I just leave. I revoke my energy from them and I refuse to be apart of it.

_electrafire · 2021-07-19T21:44:45+00:00

Lol we’re not insecure that the other woman is “hotter,” we’re insecure because we’re questioning whether we’re wasting our valuable time on an NVM parasite. Difference.

NotMyRealName814 · 2021-07-20T03:47:59+00:00

My jerk of an ex-fiance kept telling me I was insecure because he was openly flirting with another woman at a wedding rehearsal dinner we attended many years ago. I mean, my entire freaking family saw him doing it and commented on how he was behaving but sure, I'm just InSeCuRe. Fuck these low value scrotes.

Interesting-Bat3992 · 2021-07-19T18:02:06+00:00

And the "you're insecure" thrown at you at random with no pretext whatsoever to hope that you take the bait.

catsarepawsome · 2021-07-19T16:33:06+00:00

A HVM would never say that. He’d try and understand why his partner was feeling that way, and do whatever it took to make her feel secure.

Bezzazz · 2021-07-20T01:27:24+00:00

Exactly. If he wants to believe I'm insecure for knowing I deserve better, I'll let him. Idiots can believe whatever they want.

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HamburgerFries8 · 2021-07-20T00:07:06+00:00

This is where the older-fashioned part of me comes out; I can't be complacent with this very typical behavior of men. I don't exactly know if it means I'm old-fashioned, but this is the #1 reason why I question if a relationship would make me more unhappy than being single, even though I'm unhappy single too.

FodderFigureIllushun · 2021-07-19T15:59:52+00:00

It could be a bit of him behaving in a way that does not make you feel secure and also starting off with a bit of insecurity on your end. I've been in this position before but I had enough self worth to leave it. Being insecure is a human condition. No one is 100% secure 100% of the time and to put the demise of the relationship on the woman being "insecure" is wrong.

Title	When he says "You're so insecure"...
Author	sorshii
Upvotes	1105
Comments	52
Date	July 19, 2021 11:31 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/onc7of/when_he_says_youre_so_insecure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-he-says-youre-so-insecure.793170 https://theredarchive.com/post/793170

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