Why do men refuse to break up with you when they are not into you?

glittersparklesglitz · 2021-01-24T21:37:06+00:00

They are takers. They will always take, take, take. Doesn’t matter how they feel about you, they will never cut off someone who is giving.

Jinxhourglass · 2021-01-24T21:52:46+00:00

Check out the handbook and also read Why Does He Do That?

N/LVM have no incentive to leave a relationship where they are easily extracting sex, emotional labor, etc even if they don’t like the person they’re with. Their behavior gets worse the longer it goes on because they realize there’s no consequences for not reciprocating emotionally, sexually, financially, and so on. If someone is getting all of this for free they won’t give that up because it makes their lives easier. Although it’s at the expense of their partner, they only care about themselves and the privileges they get from a relationship.

There is no way to change this, so the only solution is for the woman in the relationship to realize her worth and leave. N/LVM will only leave a creature comfort relationship prematurely if they’ve already lined someone else up.

Healthy men don’t do this because they can provide what they can get out of a relationship for themselves. If someone is financially stable, they don’t need a girlfriend they don’t like to go half on rent. If they can cook and clean and aren’t entitled, they don’t need or want to outsource all the chores to their partner. If they are having a tough time mentally, they see a therapist or have a strong support network so they don’t have to emotionally dump all their problems solely on their partners and they’ll have the empathy needed to break off a relationship that isn’t working.

meeoww03 · 2021-01-24T21:40:11+00:00

Because they still get benefits by stringing you around, be it either sex or having a live-in mommychefmaid. They just keep you around to do stuff for them until they finally find their dream girl and then they discard of you.

Forwardgash · 2021-01-24T21:37:52+00:00

Because it’s easy sex, easy attention, and easy affection. They know they don’t have to try, and so they don’t. They’re selfish and your life trajectory and goals mean nothing to them. It’s that simple.

localgirlcult · 2021-01-24T22:43:39+00:00

Because you benefit them usually sexually, emotionally etc. You can also serve as a nice ego boost. There's no downsides since you hang around no matter what. And they don't have someone they really want lined up. If they did, you'd be out.

DynamiteWoman · 2021-01-25T01:01:13+00:00

Adding on to all of these to say that breaking up with people isn’t fun. It’s not a nice feeling. Even an otherwise great man will delay breaking up with someone because hurting someone else’s feelings isn’t easy, and they will do anything to avoid the feeling.

Scummier men will do it to avoid the headache that dealing with someone else’s emotions brings. They don’t want to have to do the emotional labour that comes with hurting someone, so they won’t.

“Men don’t take the time to end things. They just ignore you until you insist on a declaration of hate.”

avokatze · 2021-01-24T22:04:59+00:00

Because they are lazy and they know if it bothers you enough ("it" means the shittiness of the relationship and their behaviour), you will eventually do it yourself, just like everything else.

2021-01-24T22:09:25+00:00

The worst thing you can do is assume it's to spare your feelings.

They also want to be able to come back after cheating.

frogchickenhorse · 2021-01-24T23:19:56+00:00

They are cowards and liars. Easy sex for min effort

MakeURegret · 2021-01-24T21:56:46+00:00

They like the validation.

pozzalovah · 2021-01-24T23:02:15+00:00

Convinience.

victoriabowen8 · 2021-01-25T16:31:49+00:00

I've asked a few men this before (outside of a relationship) and they've point blank told me it's because they are cowards and would rather make the woman do it / hate confrontation. They will become distant and do the bare minimum and basically just wait until she can't take it anymore. A few times they've had to eventually end it though because the women refused to let go even though the men were being essentially a**holes to them. Makes me sad :( But at least they gave me an honest answer!

Sewud · 2021-01-25T04:31:27+00:00

They will extract benefits from anyone they can whether they like that person or not. While we're weighted down by guilt, obligation and worrying about everyone else, they are only out for themselves. Think about all the women who have a bad boyfriend but who still worry about him and what will happen to him. Compare this with how men feel about women.

Comicalacimoc · 2021-01-25T04:19:45+00:00

Free sex

Mella_20 · 2021-01-25T13:08:31+00:00

Yeah I don't understand this either. So many men date and marry women they don't love and won't respect. They could date someone they into but they...don't want to? Wtf?

The way they waste people's time is unbelievable.

Blackrose_ · 2021-01-26T09:05:28+00:00

Oh yes, the neglect and hostility until you leave game. The initial phase of being attentive, loving and enjoyment.... only for it to turn on a dime and be grudging tolerance, then criticism, then neglect.

After suffering that twice in 4 years, I had some real issues. All you can do is leave and block. If they were genuine about the relationship, they wouldn't have been such arseholes to deal with and would have made some effort. They didn't and here we are.

The also generally have overbearing narcissistic mothers to boot, because they love your independent streak but also like to chip away at any self confidence you have.

Urgh. Never again.

kkaybee96 · 2021-01-24T22:03:57+00:00

Sometimes, so they can be the victim for their next girl. “my ex broke up with me, I’m so sad”, and cue the almost guaranteed sympathy from the new girl.

Fantastic-Living · 2021-01-25T07:30:09+00:00

Breaking up takes social initiative and emotional labor

Can't be fucked

2021-01-26T02:51:58+00:00

Because they know that getting another woman is hard, so they'd rather string you along for the sex and labor.

InsanityIsSaneHere · 2021-02-05T20:59:20+00:00

They're cowards. I don't allow cowards near me anymore. They're wasting our precious time & energy.

Title	Why do men refuse to break up with you when they are not into you?
Author	Angeli_33
Upvotes	295
Comments	32
Date	January 24, 2021 7:43 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/l466a6/why_do_men_refuse_to_break_up_with_you_when_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-do-men-refuse-to-break-up-with-you-when-they.742960 https://theredarchive.com/post/742960

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