How do you protect yourself against being accused of sexual assault.

WeEatBabies · 2023-09-10T14:57:48+00:00

Have a diary.
Send the post sex "I had a great time last night, I'm glad you enjoyed my cooking."

Normally she will reply along the lines of : "Yeah I had fun too, I want the recipe for what you made ... etc."

This proves that she was happy with you after the fact.

It saved both Jian Ghomeshi and the guy that was accused by mattress girl to have these "I love you" texts from after the last time they had sex.

Of course this is no longer valid in Canada, because feminists banned electronic communications from being entered by the defense in sex. assault cases unless the judge approves and sends a copy to the prosecution : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afR_YQXTJ8o

https://www.canadianlawyermag.com/news/opinion/the-ghomeshi-rules-bill-c-51-creates-unprecedented-case-of-reverse-disclosure/270519

And if your lawyer somehow convinces a specially trained judge(feminist) that your evidence should be allowed, the accuser will have a copy of them and adjust their statements accordingly thus nullifying any attempts at cross-examination you have prepared, but in the rest of the world, it should help a lot.

mr-pupp · 2023-09-10T20:02:21+00:00

1- I dont stick my dick in crazy 2- I dont make physical contact or get chatty with women at work. 3- I try not to hurt the ego of women (ironic since most of the women who say "fragile male ego" are the ones who are capable of wrongly accuse someone with sexual assault just because they feel rejected) 4- I either keep healthy social circles or none. This may seem unrelated at first but trust me, if you hang out with decent people, chances are, you wont suffer crazy bicz because they can not survive in a group of well adjusted adults 5- I dont stay in places where there are no cameras with women i did not get to confirm they are decent people. 6-I carry a mask of a likeable person even when im dealing with the worst kind of people. They usually dont mess with you when you are a positive person and make them feel approved.

These may seem like overkill but honestly, they arent. Humans are shit regardless of their gender. You must assume the worst about them until they prove they are intellectually superior to a monkey who can do a bit of math and use computers. According to my experiences with people, and i am a sociable person, those people are super rare.

ned23943 · 2023-09-10T16:44:11+00:00

Record everything! There are voice recorders that snap on the back of phones. Record phone calls an in-person comms as well as texts. Put it all in a gDrive folder with the persons contact info. It'll sit for a decade until you are falsely accused

nowhere_near_paris · 2023-09-10T22:44:58+00:00

Find creative ways to legally record your departures. No matter how man-hating a jury may be, seeing a woman depart from you in a calm and friendly manner will always cast significant doubt on assault have had taking place. So the best advice I can give is to ensure that you have control of your environment before you engage in sexual activities.

My front verandah is recorded with a hidden security camera. When a woman comes to my home and we have sex, I always make sure to have a small chat with her on the verandah upon her departure, and I back up the cam recording of those moments.

slipkid556 · 2023-09-10T15:41:24+00:00

You can't. Women will withdraw consent after the fact.

KrazyJazz · 2023-09-10T15:12:36+00:00

I honestly don't have any ideas except some "do-not-have-sex-with-304's-period" BS. It is easy to say when you're an old fart but a quite different story when you're a young, vigorous man.

The worst thing is that you don't even need to have sex in order to be accused of rape or sexual assault nowadays. That's how bad things are.

Hopefully, to harvest texts messages like it has already been suggested is enough but who knows exactly when you have to deal with obtuse and unapologetic judges or prosecutors like this one, obviously out for men's blood?

You really should talk to a criminal lawyer imo. Despite our best intentions, we're not qualified and it's a very serious subject.

NumerousStruggle4488 · 2023-09-10T15:38:38+00:00

Record everything just like Neymar did

Richyblu · 2023-09-10T20:25:43+00:00

Texts or messages before and after, that specifically reference the intimate time you both enjoyed together.

The vast majority of the time it's later, when the relationship breaks down, that a woman will try and infer 'abuse'. To be honest, it's not the police or the courts that you generally need to worry about. 9 times out of 10 there will be sufficient evidence (texts, credit card receipts, hotel or restaurant reservations etc) to show an on-going consensual relationship - it's the damage you can incur with your peers, employers, family & friends, future potential girlfriends - if she decides to go full assault mode on your reputation, and it takes relatively little effort to start a whispering campaign - there's practically nothing you can do about it. I've been there and I'm still living with the social consequences years later; basically because I didn't want to move in and marry her and she felt I'd strung her along.

All sex is transactional; and she believes you haven't kept your end of (an often unspoken) bargain - consent withdrawn.

techieguyjames · 2023-09-10T14:09:06+00:00

Get her to sign a document that the sex is consensual, and have the time both are in the room, until both leave recorded on video so there are no questions unless someone lies.

SolidInstance9945 · 2023-09-10T14:04:37+00:00

You can't. Unless you get her to text an invitation

rabel111 · 2023-09-11T00:26:41+00:00

Given modern laws, and the deliberate tilting of admissibility issues to help prosecutors achieve guilty verdict benchmarks, not possible.

All you can do is try to mimimise your exposure to unreasonable risk.

Never date a feminist. That includes soft feminists (the ones who say it all about equality) as well as any woman who likes the Barbie movie.
Never go out to meet women by yourself. Always take a wingman so you can both have a witness to where you were, what you said and did, and who you were with.
Always share as mucgh as possible by text message and email. While this may not be admissible in some cases, it may be in others. It gives an insight into what you were doing and saying that is contemporaneous to any accusations.
Trust your gut. If you think some woman is too agressive, too easy or too weird, then stop, distance yourself and make sure your wingman is with you all the time. If its too good to be true, it most likely not true!

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2023-09-10T17:09:28+00:00

There is no way to totally protect yourself from false accusations but there are ways to reduce your chances.

Two I can think of is don't get drunk and have casual sex and don't have casual sex. Wait until you meet someone you have feelings for where the chances of a miscommunication is less.

This will not eliminate the chances. Even wives falsely accuse husbands, but it will greatly reduce the chances.

Sufficient-Row674 · 2023-09-10T14:14:10+00:00

Have detailed texts before you meet. Somehow state your exact plans in texts with her before you meet and afterwards state what happened to get her to agree at both times. Hopefully her responses will corroborate your plans and what happened. Screenshot them all and save them.

DoctorStorm · 2023-09-10T16:43:09+00:00

Never be alone. Always be on camera if you have to be around/work around women. Always make sure your mouth and hands are visible to those cameras.

Or just stop hanging around, working with, women, if you can.

I don't even make eye contact with women in America anymore.

And whenever I'm approached or bumped into "accidentally" I immediately become the most flamboyant queer in the world.

If that doesn't work, I'm also poor - very gay, very poor. 100% success ratio with this methodology.

ChancesLowButNotZero · 2023-09-10T19:20:49+00:00

So very sad that this is the discussion. The only way is the stay away from them. They can go back years and just accuse you. All men are screwed if the screw anyone, ever 😅

Demigod787 · 2023-09-10T18:22:36+00:00

In your case, recording a “home-made video” might be the solution. But usually, it’s witnesses, an Apple Watch, and online games.

People really underestimate the shit gadgets and apps collect. The police, more than anyone, can and do find your IP and physical location through apps, step trackers, videos, messages you record – you name it.

I had a mate whose son was accused of molesting a girl at Maccas. She had the upper hand, with him being a manager in his 20s and her being underage. Her word was as threatening as a sword against his neck. The case went to court, and what saved him was him playing either Valorant or League (I can’t remember) and texting a mate with iMessage.

Since Maccas is more surveilled than the White House, she accused him of molesting her outside of work, luckily for him the evidence placed him elsewhere physically. So, unless he molested her in her dreams, the whole thing was a sham. The case was promptly dropped, and she later admitted to fabricating the whole thing after he refused to date her, since he wasn’t keen on throwing his life away dating a minor. I was horrified at how easily this man could’ve had his life ruined; criminal records are no joke, just because of this situation which if not for MONTHS of legal battles, he'd be shamed for life. Thankfully, his parents believed in him and fought for him to the bitter end, but not many people are so willing to believe or even have the monetary support to save their skin.

jkeel2402 · 2023-09-10T15:45:50+00:00

Abstinence, always look down to avoid eye contact, establish a reputation as a germaphobe, never be alone with anybody and never be around anybody or become a unich.

falcontheexplorer · 2023-09-11T03:22:45+00:00

Don't talk to women outside of public areas that have visible cameras and never be alone when conducting business with one.
Email communication
You're going to have to be celibate or just pay for a sex worker(fly out to NV)
Just be distant and aloof to women they claim they treat us like this.

LAMGE2 · 2023-09-10T16:08:16+00:00

What about carrying a sound recorder with you always? If things get really bad, at least you wouldn’t get the worse punishment and she would be sued too after you and probably get a very short jail time best case.

Njaulv · 2023-09-10T17:17:50+00:00

Only have completely anonymous sex. For example at masquerade ball orgies. Other than that, accusations can come from any past partner at any time.

somebullshitorother · 2023-09-11T00:44:36+00:00

Signed consent form or requested consent text

mgtowolf · 2023-09-10T19:39:00+00:00

Security cameras.

xEyelessOnex · 2023-09-11T01:20:32+00:00

You're better off recording the consent and I don't mean a video of you getting down. Like someone else said, keep records and conversations about the consent for later. I'd personally record her verbal consent and be sure she wasn't slamming drinks before.

lookci4 · 2023-09-11T02:55:32+00:00

Video or at least voice record your conversation & or sex act...

bilabrin · 2023-09-11T03:48:30+00:00

Make sure she's on top at some point and have her acknowledge it later in a text.

CdnPoster · 2023-09-11T07:42:22+00:00

Unless you are video taping and audio taping the entire encounter, I don't think you can.

If memory serves: There was someone before who had a contract that he wanted people to sign before he would have sex with them, laid out that it was consensual, that protection was to be used, that he didn't want kids and he wanted her to agree to an abortion if she became pregnant with his child. I believe he said he couldn't find a sexual partner. I'm pretty sure it was posted in this sub-reddit.

estebanforwa · 2023-09-10T15:23:03+00:00

What about innocent until proven otherwise?

Acousmetre78 · 2023-09-10T19:49:56+00:00

My mother was mentally Ill and she hated men because she was raped. I understand why she was angry but as she got older she would assault men like the veterinarian when he said our dog was dying. She hit him and then accused him of hitting her. I realize mom was crazy but I’ve seen a few girls become so vindictive after a breakup that they do not care of the guy goes to jail or dies.

NobodyNowhereEver · 2023-09-10T20:54:02+00:00

Learn how to recognize the signs of cluster B personality disorders. I guarantee a significant amount of false accusations are done by people who would fall under those categories.

krynnotaur · 2023-09-10T18:08:43+00:00

Don't date women with socialist political views.

boomershack · 2023-09-11T07:22:09+00:00

Surveillance, aftercare, ensure and contact afterwards that they got home safe.

DrivingWheel-1997 · 2023-09-11T12:30:16+00:00

I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm ready to be done. What's the point?

Top-Bumblebee8411 · 2023-09-11T15:40:44+00:00

List of things to do to not get accused…

Don’t sleep with drunk women. It’s shitty sex anyways.

Until you get to know her Always ask her to insert your penis. Ask her to place it inside her. Never just do it yourself.

Crazy women can sometimes be great sex. But well you know the rest of this one.

Always contact her next day. So she doesn’t feel jilted.

Sleeping with a woman first date is a bad idea. Ya I know. But it just is.

Don’t do overtly kinky things first time. No dirty language. Just gentle stuff. People are kinky. They just are. She may be and get really turned on but then feel super guilty later. Women who complain later seem to be ones who can’t take responsibility for their own pleasure. (Of course I am talking about consensual sex)

Try and be a good lover. Harder for them to make up a story in their head. Lol. Ya I know if you ignored the “crazy” rule above… well you know.

Don’t push to hard. It’s sex not food and you are not starving so chill out.

Please don’t be too hard on me re my list.

mcc9999 · 2023-09-10T21:13:49+00:00

You can't. Any time a female wants to accuse you of sexual misconduct she'll be deferred to in multiple ways. It's one of the hazards of being male.

Cfunk_83 · 2023-09-10T16:25:00+00:00

Always ask yourself “what would LD doo?”

https://youtu.be/lUSts3h5uUI?si=vjI9Oe0KthkWQcc5

D_monicdom · 2023-09-10T17:24:17+00:00

Record all transactions through a form of media.as even a phone call or personal interaction can turn sour.

seanhenke · 2023-09-10T17:57:29+00:00

You see, that's the neat part you don't * clinical sadness noises*

Sweddybob69 · 2023-09-10T17:46:10+00:00

Ask your mum and her mum to oversee the event. One on either side of the bed. That way, if anyone taps out, they can bring it to the attention of the other participant.

Drag0nV3n0m231 · 2023-09-10T18:52:37+00:00

I have security cams in my house

Otherwise, bad things can happen any time. Do you always dwell for very long on what you’ll do if you’re randomly shot on the street? Because that’s more likely to happen than being falsely accused of rape. In any case, be smart, try to stay on good terms with people you have sex with, and keep some verification after the fact that it was enjoyable. This should be easy if you aren’t having sex with anyone who isn’t enthusiastic, which you already shouldn’t be. Stay away from sex while drunk with strangers.

Sharp-Mousse-7994 · 2023-09-11T03:30:51+00:00

You can’t spend your life walking around on eggshells in the work place. Avoid flirting with the slutty girls and you’ll be right mate.

elebrin · 2023-09-11T13:49:09+00:00

If you have transactional sex periodically how can you protect yourself against an accusation

Don't have random, transactional sex with women.

Look, I know you want to, but it's just not safe. It's not safe emotionally because it involves detaching sex from true intimate relationships, it's not safe physically because you could get a disease, it's not safe legally because you could be accused of something you didn't do, and it's not safe economically because you could end up paying for a kid you didn't plan on having for nearly 20 years.

There is no such thing as casual sex. Sex has severe consequences. If you believe that sex can ever be casual then you are ignoring those consequences. Sex must be had between people in committed relationships where trust has been built and is constantly reconfirmed.

randonumero · 2023-09-10T18:47:30+00:00

I guess technically you can't really protect yourself from being accused of rape in a p4p or normal situation. The other party can always claim they felt coerced, that they withdrew consent...

One huge thing you can do is not disclose private information for screening or any other purposes. That means provide fake work badges, use apps to alter your ears and nose in photos, use a burner phone...You can also do your best to dispose of any condom that you use after the deed is done (one guy I used to know would bring a plastic bag and take it with him).

It's a tricky thing because she'd essentially be reporting you for committing a crime while admitting to committing on herself. I remember several years ago there were a couple of guys who were robbing and raping backpage workers. IIRC the rape was easier to prosecute because although the women had advertised sex work, no money changed hands and there was a weapon.

In the neighborhood I used to live in legend has it that a street walker flagged down a cop one night because a John didn't pay for a bj. The cop laughed in her face and essentially told the hooker that he'd be happy to arrest her for prostitution and she could speak to a detective about the rape after she was processed.

All that said, don't rape sex workers. If they say stop then stop even if you know you're not going to get the money back.

Blind_dog_barking · 2023-09-10T18:28:52+00:00

Keep it in your pants and get a flesh light

jas4870 · 2023-09-10T18:03:13+00:00

Don’t go outside unless you have too.

ShiftyShifts · 2023-09-11T00:41:05+00:00

You wait until marriage and be smart about who you marry.

Embarrassed-Space382 · 2023-09-10T14:12:43+00:00

There's love without sex and there's sex without love... Then there's You, without either.

wrstlr3232 · 2023-09-10T21:25:00+00:00

Jesus, what are you guys doing that you’re actually worried about this? False accusations rarely happen. The answer: don’t do anything questionable. Treat women with respect and don’t give them a reason to accuse you. There are some crazy women (and men out there). Stay away from them. Non crazy women (and men) don’t just accuse people of things they didn’t do

Ask yourself how many males you know and how many of them have been falsely accused of sexual assault. I guarantee it is 0% or near 0%.

Hedhunta · 2023-09-10T15:39:38+00:00

Dont be a creeper. Its pretty easy to treat people with respect.

Tiny_Professional358 · 2023-09-10T19:29:39+00:00

Have a recording of her saying she consents.

dibberdott · 2023-09-10T20:44:01+00:00

Still a good idea, if only to have proof to loved ones. Otherwise, wow, secretly record your life on a loop. Wtf.

Dating can be expensive but not all dates cost a thing. Maybe courtship should come back ,if not just a little. Like go on dates maybe like more than 4 before whipping into sex. Date lots of girls whatever is in one's budget. But the fucking escort reddit information is looking way better than going to jail or getting accused for shit one never did.

tipying_mistakes · 2023-09-10T22:58:39+00:00

It’s easy. You just have to not exist. Simple as that

LimitlessMind127 · 2023-09-10T23:36:38+00:00

Get actual voice recordings saying that this person is consenting and/or is of legal age.

ChaosOpen · 2023-09-11T05:40:30+00:00

You can't, that is the scary part about rape hoaxes, there is no way to protect yourself from them. Even living a life of complete celibacy won't help you, if she says you raped her then in the eyes of the mob, you are guilty.

Marada781 · 2023-09-11T06:03:10+00:00

Various way: first if you pay you are safe, second written agreement on message like “come to my place to have sex. Ok”, third always do it in your home whey you can even film everything.

cistacea · 2023-09-11T06:08:37+00:00

I actually made a comic about this very subject and if you DM me I can send it to you.

Delicious-Agency-824 · 2023-09-11T06:48:15+00:00

I believe sex must be transactional. That being said is it legal? How do you do that?

Clear_Daikon4794 · 2023-09-11T10:55:17+00:00

Cameras, EVERYWHERE. In your house, in the front, in the back, every room except the bedroom and bathroom. Recording audio and video, have signs posted on your door that clearly state, in English (and maybe Spanish) that you have them and they are in use. Keep every footage of you two together in encrypted storage until you die.

Same for your vehicle, get a dash cam that records the cabin as well, same posted signs. Most false accusers will have an issue with them not out of privacy, but because it takes their opportunity to do so away and prevents them from gaining the upper hand against you. If they balk, cut them off immediately.

Wear a body camera in public, you need to become a wannabe police officer.

Record EVERY phone call and save every text, back them up in encrypted cloud storage until you die. Make them sign a 3 page minimum NDA in which they agree they are not consenting under any perceived threat of force, coercion, or duress. Or get an audio recording of the same.

If you have an issue with cameras, just get the realistic looking fake ones, they're much cheaper, but have the same effect. Obviously just don't tell anyone they're fake.

As far as at work settings, never be alone with a woman without another male present (use the battle buddy system) NEVER another female, they may conspire against you.

moxxa1 · 2023-09-11T15:10:17+00:00

If you both fill out a sexual consent form in front of witnesses and adhere to the terms agreed upon in the form that is a huge step in the right direction. If you are too under the influence to sign and understand the form then don’t do anything.

If she ever says no then immediately stop.

Record the interaction (either audio or video or both) to have evidence showing that you stopped and/or didn’t do anything to violate the consent agreement. This would have to be part of the terms of the consent agreement. If you have audio of her saying things like “keep going” or “don’t stop that feels good” that’s a huge win for your defense

After the interaction get some sort of proof in writing that no assault took place. Either another signed form in front of witnesses or some sort of text message saying that the encounter was enjoyable or that she would like to do that again.

You might still get accused with all that but the odds that a prosecutor would charge you would be very very low

teejay89656 · 2023-09-11T16:49:37+00:00

Trust your gut. Be prejudiced about the girls you choose because they’re probably true.
See 1

And if you live somewhere like canada or Australia gtfo asap

J2501 · 2023-09-11T21:10:09+00:00

I would say, right before she comes over, turn audio recorders on. You're not capturing her image, only ensuring there were no audible signs of struggle, in any of your interactions. On the other hand, she might pull the old 'Stop it!' when you're on the other side of the room, merely to make it sound like you did something wrong. But if you're taking videos of people without their knowledge or permission, when sexual activities are going on, it leaves you open to other accusations, like making revenge porn.

Remember, Johnny Depp only got justice through surveillance recordings, and a great legal team. One of them is inexpensive enough for almost anyone to afford.

A traditionalist is going to say 'abstinence and marriage', as if there's no such thing as marital rape, or sham marriages, which exploit the male. Basically, there is no easy answer to your question. I personally don't like the idea of my phone being close to a woman's phone, in private quarters, because then the NSA might say 'Yeah, that's a possibility.'

I mean, really, I just avoid women. Every day outside of prison is a good day, and sex becomes less important as you age, and hormones stop clouding your judgment.

YesYesYesVeryGood · 2023-09-11T23:35:36+00:00

Get a two camera dashcam. Yes, it records video outside, but it records audio inside. I have a Blackvue system. Two cameras.

Text your contacts. Have the transcript. Easy to get an app and download the transcript and have it as a doc, text, or PDF.

Title	How do you protect yourself against being accused of sexual assault.
Author	bala400
Upvotes	380
Comments	163
Date	September 10, 2023 1:55 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/16f0wfv/how_do_you_protect_yourself_against_being_accused/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-do-you-protect-yourself-against-being-accused.1230822 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230822

Comments