Can the illiterate be sexy?

EulenWatcher · 2025-01-30T17:44:13+00:00

I’m not sure how a person living in a country with universal education can stay illiterate unless they were heavily neglected, lived in a cult or had some health problems stopping them from being able to read.

Considering that I do enjoy reading and discussing it with my partner and friends, and that you do need to be able to read to function in society, most likely I wouldn’t date an illiterate person.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2025-01-30T20:17:42+00:00

Completely illiterate no; that is a major turn off because it hampers a persons ability to be independent and self sufficient in today’s world. I’m not looking for a man who would be dependent on me because they can’t survive otherwise. If they just don’t like reading or listening to audiobooks that’s fine.

attendquoi · 2025-01-30T17:56:23+00:00

God no. I felt like I was slumming it in high school when I dated a guy who got Cs.

GridReXX · 2025-01-30T18:01:27+00:00

Being incompetent and dumb dries up my cooch. I don’t have respect for idiots and I don’t feel lust for people I don’t respect/regard.

That being said, if we were in the wild Wild West where we were all mildly illiterate, but he was capable and competent and strategic in the face of danger, that’s different. In that situation, even if I were more literate than him, at least he’s skillful and competent in areas that are useful to us too.

My ick is incompetence more than illiteracy. Though they do correlate, especially in our present first world nation where most everyone has had an opportunity to learn. Him being illiterate in the face of that would mean he probably comes from a background that probably has more baggage than I’m comfortable taking on :(

leosandlattes · 2025-01-30T18:01:02+00:00

Illiteracy is unattractive to me personally. My sense of attraction is very tied to feeling like a man is competent and capable (in a multitude of things). If he can't read or can only read very simplistically, it would be a turn off. My boyfriend has multiple degrees and holds multiple patents in his career field and reads a ton. It's one of the sexiest things in the world to me.

ashpr0ulx · 2025-01-30T17:47:33+00:00

it’s possible, i used to hang with a guy who could read but very, very poorly. he was smart in other ways i found very attractive, and did well for himself, but i think for most people it makes for a much harder and smaller life.

zyzyverssaint · 2025-01-30T17:50:05+00:00

It depends on why he’s illiterate.

KikiYuyu · 2025-01-30T18:48:00+00:00

Teaching a man how to read sounds like a scenario straight out of a romance novel

AngeAware · 2025-01-30T18:28:55+00:00

Iirc the study clearly noted that the sample was disproportionately made up of women with postgraduate degrees. It's a convenience sample, not one that accurately reflects the population at large. Unfortunately people just kept sharing the screenshot of the results without the accompanying article or context.

Unique_Mind2033 · 2025-01-30T18:53:24+00:00

libraries are free, this is the least attractive thing ever. we have an obligation to critically engage in the world around us

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-01-30T19:22:06+00:00

Well, I find "ability to function in normal society" as one of my base requirements. I live in a part of society where that requires basic literacy.

In general, I think the reason reading is considered sexier is because it either implies an interest in knowledge (nonfiction) or creativity (fiction), both of which imply a good, well-rounded person. Or it could imply a person who has time to rest and read- if you don't have time to even read a book now and then, how could you have time for a relationship?

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2025-01-31T13:40:16+00:00

Good old confirmation bias doing all the work here.

Exceptionally intelligent people generally fall into two camps: ASD or culturally driven to prioritize scholastic achievements above a social life.

This is why they don’t do well with dating, it goes no deeper than that. People who are hyper focused on education and future professional goals skip all the social milestones and struggle with making friends, much less dating.

Plenty of intelligent and successful people have partners, check up on the superlatives from your high school and college; most have careers, nice homes, marriage and kids.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2025-01-30T22:34:06+00:00

There's a difference between

being illiterate because you haven't been given an education/ haven’t yet learned how but are capable of doing so
being illiterate because your brain literally does not have the capacity to learn to read, no matter the time, energy, or tools available.

My husband was in the first group. He struggled with a learning disability growing up and his teachers didn't give him the tools to help at first. But he pushed past it, figured out alternative strategies, and learned how to read at a mid-advanced adult level.

Anyone in the second group- who literally cannot learn to read ever -would have such a low IQ and such high support needs that it would almost be creepy to date them. It would be taking advantage of a disabled person.

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S0yslut · 2025-01-30T18:00:22+00:00

No. Absolute dealbreaker. For someone to be illiterate in the US they would have had to have had no support system. I do not want to be in a situation where I am my partners only support. Also how would someone who’s illiterate apply to jobs? This person would be so dependent on me it’d be like having a kid. Also I turned down/broke up with men in college and high school for letting their grades fall. I refused to date anyone not taking school seriously even at 16. That is not something I would have ever at any point in my life found attractive.

CatallaxyRanch · 2025-01-30T18:23:32+00:00

A person who legitimately can't read is either severely mentally disabled or from some impoverished country. I would not be interested in such a person but it's possible he could be "sexy" to women more like him.

Whoreasaurus_Rex · 2025-01-30T18:44:03+00:00

Deal breaker.

Siukslinis_acc · 2025-01-30T18:49:28+00:00

From practical point of view - it would be a dealbreaker. I think it is important for them to be able to read notes and texts that I write. Though maybe nowadays with text to speech they could navigate it.

flipsidetroll · 2025-01-30T18:51:29+00:00

Since I love learning and debating and bouncing ideas off a partner, illiteracy would definitely be a no no.

However, never ever in my life, have I ever thought a hobby was either sexy or unsexy. That is such a bizarre concept to me. I don’t care if he collects rare bat droppings, if he’s passionate about it, then that’s great. I don’t have to like the same hobbies to feel a connection. My partner and I did completely different elite and extreme sports. So we could relate to the discipline and danger and enjoy supporting each other by watching with zero interest to join.

I think women who determine a hobby as sexy or not, are going to be high maintenance and possibly hard to satisfy.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2025-01-30T19:00:45+00:00

It would be a deal breaker for me unless the person was genuinely making efforts to learn how to read. I don't think it's some great moral failing that people should be made to feel bad for, there are tons of reasons why someone might be struggling with literacy. But for a romantic relationship, I'd want someone who was on the relatively same level as me.

sadmatchatea · 2025-01-30T19:41:20+00:00

It’s a dealbreaker for me. I love to read but I’m okay with guys who don’t like reading books very often. But not being able to is something else. How would we text? What about signing important legal or medical documents? It would be a safety issue at that point.

alphamaker420 · 2025-01-30T23:22:23+00:00

I think it depends. You can be physically sexy and not know how to read imo but there's way more to a relationship than just physical attraction. I find being funny, charismatic, passionate, etc pretty sexy and you can be those things without knowing how to read. It does help though, I love puns and wordplay jokes and it would suck to have a partner that doesn't get my jokes and can't banter with me.

Maybe if I was still in my early 20's or younger it wouldn't be a dealbreaker if he isn't completely illiterate and can read at least a little like a restaurant menu and road signs, etc. There's still plenty of time to get on track in your early 20's and it's easier then than later into adulthood. Intelligence and being willing to learn would be the determining factor for me. I mean intelligence as in having the capacity to learn.

Now in my late 20's I think it would probably be more trouble than it's worth but it really depends on the person. I have my own problems and if someone would be willing to accept me despite that I'd maybe at least try. I grew up in the country and have family members who regularly mispronounce words and use incorrect grammar and one of my best friends asks me what certain words I say mean sometimes so I'm already used to it lol. My dad is pretty intelligent though and I have some of that in me so I would prefer a partner who can keep up. I think his other qualities would have to be pretty exceptional for me to consider dating him but it's not a hard no for me.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2025-01-31T09:13:03+00:00

I don't believe being illiterate is a deal-breaker, since I recognise that sometimes there's reasons, situations etc which has kept someone from being able to enjoy reading. I have actually been in a relationship with someone who was functionally illiterate, and it didn't stop him from being a kind, fun, occasionally very knobbish human being.

I do find I have more in common with big readers, but it wasn't a deal-breaker.

Obsidian_Koilz · 2025-01-31T11:22:30+00:00

No. I'm sorry, but I couldn't find an illiterate person sexy. The dynamic would instantly turn into teacher and pupil. I'm a former educator who still volunteers in support of Early Childhood Education. I would probably make that man feel patronized when I inevitably reverted to using 'teacher's voice'. That's not something I'd want to make anyone feel.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2025-01-31T13:37:03+00:00

Link to that “study”.

Sophiatab · 2025-01-31T16:45:19+00:00

I could easily find an illiterate man attractive, but I am not going to date or marry a man just because I find him attractive. I could never date or marry someone who was illiterate. I value education and literacy is one of the necessary basic educational tools.

Appropriate_Cow1378 · 2025-01-31T19:05:27+00:00

Definitely a deal breaker. Being able to read is a minimum requirement as a sign of intellect. You can also tell what kind of person someone is because of their favorite books

Title	Can the illiterate be sexy?
Author	Commercial_World_433
Upvotes	6
Comments	57
Date	January 30, 2025 5:40 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1idsl04/can_the_illiterate_be_sexy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/can-the-illiterate-be-sexy.1542574 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542574

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